


Ignore the Butterflies: Best Friend Advice from Dean Winchester

by impatient14



Series: The Butterfly Series [1]
Category: Supernatural, deancas - Fandom, destiel - Fandom
Genre: Doctor!Castiel, F/F, F/M, Firefighter!Dean, Friends to Lovers, Humor, M/M, Nurse!Charlie, PT!Jo, Slow Burn, but i wont subject you to having to read about it graphically, but itll be for good reasons, cas and dean are switch hitters in this fic, dean will hook up with other people, i plan to torture you, like seriously, romcom, so if you are adamant about what position they get it on in, this may not be the fic for you
Language: English
Status: Completed
Published: 2016-04-15
Updated: 2016-08-04
Packaged: 2018-06-02 11:17:40
Rating: Explicit
Warnings: No Archive Warnings Apply
Chapters: 35
Words: 114,980
Publisher: archiveofourown.org
Story URL: https://archiveofourown.org/works/6564142
Author URL: https://archiveofourown.org/users/impatient14/pseuds/impatient14
Summary: <blockquote class="userstuff">
              <p>What do you get when you add Firefighter!Dean to standoffish-Doctor!Castiel? </p><p>A thousand other fics, you say? </p><p>Aaaand what’s your point exactly??!?!</p><p> </p><p>Dean likes his doctor, but his doctor doesn’t like him. </p><p>Accidental friendship ensues, heartwarming bonding type moments occur, and oops!friends become best!friends.</p><p>But best friends aren’t supposed to feel the way Dean feels about Castiel. He knows this. So he ignores all the things that he can’t help feeling. When he sits and watches a movie with his best friend or when they are arguing about which method of coffee brewing is best, he pointedly doesn’t look at his friends lips, or the adorable way he tilts his head when he doesn’t understand. </p><p>Dean ignores his feelings. </p><p>That’s the way he knows how to keep his best friend.</p><p>Just ignore the butterflies.</p>
            </blockquote>





	1. Chapter 1

**Author's Note:**

> New and improved! This fic will no longer be the grammatical cesspool it once was and was going to continue to be! It has been and will continue to be beta'd by [whyamidoingthisitswrongbutiloveit](http://archiveofourown.org/users/whyamidoingthisitswrongbutiloveit), find her tumblr [here](http://theogenes-daughter.tumblr.com/beta)
> 
>  
> 
> THANK YOU AMAZING PERSON! :)

Dean Winchester was screwed.

He really shouldn’t have gone so far. Dean would take it back if he could, _hell yeah_  he’d take it all back. But there was no going back now.

There was only the jump. A leap of faith and then it would be in destiny’s hands.

Smoke filled Dean’s senses just as Donna called out to him.

“Dean!”

He could barely hear her, but he knew his call to her was futile. The flames had basically cut the townhouse in half.

And Dean was on the wrong half.

“Go, Donna! Get out!” Dean yelled over the flames. “That’s an order! Get the fuck out of here!”

Dean turned away before he could see Donna follow his orders. There was a bedroom window on the third floor that had a favorable drop. He had found it when he saved a toddler and his older sister just a few minutes earlier. They had been hiding in their closet, and had reached them just before the flames creeped up to the third floor.

Now, the girl and her little brother were blanketed and safe on the street, but Dean had gone back inside to clear the house.

And now, Dean was trapped.

If there was time his team might’ve been able to get the ladder over to the window, but Dean doubted there would be a ladder to spare.

Dean huffed up the stairs of the townhouse, all of his gear weighing him down but keeping him from burning alive. His oxygen tank kept a steady stream of fresh air coming, but 

Dean still felt like he could feel the smoke coating his lungs.

When he made it to the bedroom window, he immediately knew his fate.

He could see that the fire had spread down the row of townhomes, and the four ladder trucks they brought were all in use, saving residents. Dean wasn’t about to call one over for himself, so he took a deep breath, and climbed out the window.

When Dean jumped, he aimed for the tallest tree nearby.

He missed.  
   
***  
   
”-amge to the right anterior iliac spine, as well as a shattered right femur and a compound fracture in the left.”

A deep, cavernous voice that Dean could just barely understand, began to float him towards consciousness. He sounded like Batman, a rich and sultry baritone that kind of scratched as it reached Dean’s ears.

Dean liked Batman.

“He has multiple broken ribs, one of which punctured his lung, but the lung has been repaired and his oxygen levels are stable now. His helmet protected his head for the most part, but there are a few small fractures in his neck, and he sustained a moderate concussion.”

Dean slowly pulled himself further from the pitch black of unconsciousness, and tried to focus on what he was hearing above him. He was in an incredible amount of pain and at some point he hoped Batman would do something about that.

“His right shoulder was completely dislocated and both the ulna and radius were broken in the fall. His left side did somewhat better, besides his femur. Aside from bruising, his left arm seems to be in working order.”

“ _Seems_  to be in order? Is that your professional opinion, Doc?”

If Dean was capable of such an action, he would probably roll his eyes at his Uncle Bobby’s less than pleasant bedside manner.

“Bobby.” Sam, Dean’s younger brother, spoke up. “They’re doing the best they can.”

“Yes.” The doctor replied. “We are doing everything possible for him. He fell in the worst position possible, with very heavy material on. We won’t know everything until he wakes  
up.”

“And when do you expect that to happen?” Sam asked carefully.

Dean could hear the fear and worry in his voice, but it was hard to care too much about that when it felt like the entire right side of his body was on fire.

There was a tube down his throat, but Dean tried to talk anyway.

He tried to say, “How about now, Mr. Wayne?”

But instead it came out a garbled moan.

Dean still hadn’t opened his eyes, but he heard everyone turn sharply and move towards him.

“Dean?!” Sam and Bobby said in unison.

“Mr. Winchester.” Batman joined in. Dean liked the way he said his name. “Don’t try to talk. I’m going to remove the tube now, okay?”

Dean nodded stiffly, which hurt like hell. He still kept his eyes closed.

“Alright, I want you to try and swallow as I pull it out. Are you ready?”

Dean nodded again.

“One, two, three.”

Batman pulled the tube out of Dean’s throat and Dean gagged despite swallowing as he was told. The pain amplified as Dean coughed. His broken ribs didn’t like his body’s convulsions as he coughed, and his dry throat didn’t like it much better.

“Can you open your eyes for me, Mr. Winchester?”

Dean swallowed again and made his first attempt at opening his eyes.

The room was too bright and as he squinted them open, Dean saw a shadow move towards the window and close the blinds. The room fell into shadows, which made Dean feel more comfortable about opening his eyes all the way.

The first thing he saw were a pair of crystal blue eyes, with lines around their edges, staring back at him. The eyes were attached to a  _very_ handsome face, the kind that was full of both sharp edges and soft curves. On top of Batman’s face was a mop of messy brown hair. There was product in it, but Dean didn’t see how that was possible.

“Call me Dean, Mr. Wayne.” Dean croaked.

Sam laughed at the edge of the hospital bed. Dean looked over to find his little brother staring back at him with a large smile on his face and shaking his head slightly.

“What?” Dean asked, trying to lift his hand to gesture but unable to do so. He panicked for a moment, before realizing it just took a little more effort than he was used to. Every part of his body felt like it was weighted with bags of sand, and Dean wondered if that had something to do with whatever pain medication he was on.

“Nothing.” Sam replied, still smiling. “How are you feeling?”

Dean tried to shrug, but grimaced instead.

Batman called for a nurse and Bobby came to the other side of the hospital bed.

“Everyone else make it?” Dean asked Bobby. He didn’t know how long he had been out, but Dean was sure it was long enough for an official casualty report.

“Two residents lost.” Bobby said slowly, then looked down at his hands. “And one of ours from the third district. Victor Drunsom.”

Dean squeezed his eyes shut. “Damn.”

When he opened his eyes again, it was to find a red headed nurse holding out a card to him. It had ten different faces depicting varying degrees of discomfort on their faces.

“Can you show me which of these best describe your pain level, Dean?”

Dean stared at the card for a moment and tried to give the nurse a good answer, but found himself thinking only about Victor and how much pain his family must be in. He didn’t know the man personally, but all firefighters were like family and losing one of them, even when you didn’t know them, really hurt.

Bruce Wayne stepped in.

“Dean, can you give us a number please. So we can manage your pain accordingly.”

Dean blinked away tears and tried to nod. “Seven. The one that looks like he might have stuck something up his ass he wasn’t ready for.”

Sam let out a snort and Bobby groaned and rolled his eyes.

Batman looked like he wanted to smile, but it never got through.

“Aren’t you a charmer.” The nurse laughed. Her red hair fell along her shoulders and she pushed a hand through it. Dean thought she’d make a good Black Widow.

The Dark Knight gave Black Widow a new dosage of pain medication to administer, and she turned to the machines by Dean’s head to set them right.

“So, when can I get out of here Mr. Wayne?” Dean asked the doctor.

“Um,” The doctor began, eyes narrowed carefully, obviously trying to figure out Dean’s nickname for him. “My name is Doctor Novak. As for your prognosis, I was just going over that with your relatives. You’ve sustained-”

“Yeah, I heard the damage report.” Dean interrupted, his voice scratching uncomfortably.

Sam crossed the room and poured him a glass of water. Dean wanted to protest when he placed a straw in it and held it for Dean to drink, but Dean knew he was in no position to holding the cup himself. He drank until his throat no longer felt like it was on fire, but just full of ashes instead.

“Well then, your timeline for your release will depend largely on your rehabilitation.” Batman continued. “I’d suspect at least four weeks here, then an eight week outpatient physical therapy program.”

“Jesus.” Bobby said, covering his eyes and lowering his head.

Sam looked similarly distressed.

Dean began to feel lighter, though. His head started swimming with images of rainbow waterfalls and butterfly gardens.

“Um, Bruce?” Dean said dreamily. His eyes were getting very heavy and his words were starting to slur. “Would you take me for a ride on the Batmobile when I get out?”

Dean heard Sam laugh, but not the doctor’s reply.

The medication worked it's magic and Dean was back in the land of the unconscious.


	2. Chapter 2

_Week One._

Dean barely remembered much of the first week he was in the hospital. Most of it was spent high as a kite or in blinding pain. There were unfortunate bodily function incidents that Dean was too out of it to be mortified by, and there were quite a few times he referred to his doctor as Batman.

At some point Dean even whispered to his doctor that he didn’t feel comfortable having a superhero be his doctor. The doctor’s reaction was forgotten along with incident itself.

When he wasn’t rambling on about his doctor’s cape, Dean focused his inebriated attention on the length of the doctor’s fingers or the shape of his lips. They were  _good_  lips. Dean wondered a lot about what they tasted like.

He often wondered aloud.

Sam and Bobby would come to visit Dean every day, and his team trickled in and out as well. Sam’s wife Eileen made Dean some smoothies with his nurse’s approval, and his nephew Ben made him a get well card Sam tacked onto the bulletin board across from Dean’s hospital bed.

Although he had visitors the first week, Dean was rarely fit to talk with them. If he wasn’t unconscious, he was babbling about random things that entered his mind. Everything from classic cars to Justin Bieber.

But no matter who came to visit, if he was fit enough to do so, Dean warned everyone about the superhero posing as his doctor.  
   
***  
_Week Two_

“Five. The one that looks like she’s choking on a hotdog.”

Charlie, Dean’s nurse, AKA Black Widow, laughed.

“Five is better than six.”

“So I’ve been told.” Dean sighed and tried to adjust his position in bed. “Any chance I can get out of this bed today?”

“Mmm.” Charlie gave him a sympathetic look. “I don’t know, Dr. Novak didn’t clear you for walk abouts.”

“Walk?” Dean gestured vaguely towards his broken legs. “Way to kick a guy while he’s down.”

Charlie laughed.

“I think you’ll get through it.”

“Says you.” Dean rolled his eyes. “Come on, I’m sure there is some intern somewhere looking for something to do. They could push me around and I could quiz them on mitochondria or something. I’m going out of my mind in this bed.”

Charlie narrowed her eyes at Dean and took in a deep breath.

“Not today.” Dean was about to argue, but his nurse held up a figure. “But! I promise to talk to Dr. Novak and see if I can get him to agree to a stroll tomorrow. Okay?”

“Won’t he be in here in...” Dean turned to look at the clock. “Eleven minutes, anyway? Why can’t you just talk to him then? Or, I’ll just ask him.”

“That’s not a good idea.” Charlie shook her head no, but there was a small smile on her lips. “Eleven minutes, huh? You have his schedule down to the minute?”

Dean might have blushed if he was still in grade school.

“Maybe.” Dean shrugged pathetically. The cast on his right arm went up and over his shoulder, limiting his shrug to just one side. “Nothing better to do.”

“Uh, huh.” Charlie batted her eyelashes at him, but said nothing more.

“Shut up. Why can’t I ask him?”

“Maybe because  _Bruce_  is a hardass who doesn’t take well to being ambushed by his patients.”

This time Dean did blush a little bit.

He didn't remember a lot from when he first arrived or his first week, but from what he did remember and from what Charlie told him, he had a habit of comparing his very hot doctor to Batman. Now that he was healing more and needed less medication to get through the day, those comparisons were limited to the middle of the night, which wasn’t Dr. Novak’s shift.

Thankfully.

“I’m an idiot.” Dean said and grimaced. “Does he hate me?”

Charlie laughed. “No, I think he thought it was funny. Although, it’s hard to tell with him sometimes.”

“Yeah, he’s pretty-

“Good morning.” Dr. Novak walked deliberately into the room and picked up Dean’s chart at the foot of his bed.

“Morning doc.” Dean said, trying to sit a little higher in his bed. “You’re early.

“Coffee machine is broken.” He responded, eyes down at his chart. “How’s your pain today Dean?”

“The hotdog one.” He answered, smiling.

“Five.” Charlie translated, glaring at Dean.

Dr. Novak looked over his chart at the two of them, but kept his head bent down slightly.

“Hotdog?”

“Don’t ask.” Charlie said with a sigh. “Listen, Dr. Novak- Dean would like to go for a walk in the wheelchair. Would it be alright-”

“No, I’m sorry.” The doctor replied, not looking sorry at all. “You haven’t given yourself enough time to heal yet. Maybe next week.”

“A week?” Dean’s eyes popped out of his head. “Come on man, I am going crazy. Can’t someone just push this bed down the freaking hall or something? I’m dying here. Please.”  
Doctor Novak gave Dean a scrutinizing look.

“Dying. Really?” He didn’t sound convinced.

“Yep.” Dean nodded. “Knocking on Death’s door as we speak. This is my last request. Are you going to deny a dying man’s last request?”

Another almost smile pulled at the doctor’s lips, but still Dean didn’t get to see a real one.

“Yes.” He finally replied, maybe a touch of humor in his voice. “I amgoing to deny your request.”

Dean groaned and threw his head back, which hurt him a lot more than he wanted to show.

“However,” The doctor continued. “If your pain remains manageable enough for you to continue to be in good spirits, then we can talk about this again in two days.”

“Who says I’m in good spirits?” Dean grumbled, eyes closed and head still back on his pillow.

“Your special brand of humor remains intact.” The doctor mumbled back, just barely audible.

Dean peeked one eye open.

“Was that a joke?”

“No.” Doctor Novak said quickly, then replaced Dean’s chart in its holder. “I’ll be back in a few hours to check on you.”

Then Batman was gone.  
   
***

_Week Three_

“So what’s with you and Batman?”

“Um,” Dean laid down his cards and pretended he didn’t hear Charlie. “I think that’s game sister.”

Charlie balked.

“Try again,  _brother_.” She smiled wickedly as she put down a full house.

“Yikes.” Dean shook his head. “You’re a shark, aren’t you?”

“And you’re avoiding.” Charlie pulled the cards towards her and shuffled them together. “Why Batman?”

 Dean groaned. “I don’t know Charlie, why are you so annoying?”

“Part of the job.”

Dean gave her an irritated look but told her anyway.

“Batman is cool. He’s got all those gadgets and he fights crime. He has kick ass fighting skills and his voice is sexy and deep. Batman’s pretty hot.”

“It was his voice?” Charlie laughed. “You think Dr. Novak’s voice is hot?”

“Not just his voice.” Dean mumbled into his new hand of cards.

Charlie’s highbrows shot up.

“Don’t go there Dean.” She sucked in a deep breath. “Trust me.”

“Oh. You guys...”

“What, me and Castiel?” She laughed. “No, I don’t go for boys.”

“But if you did, you and...Castiel wouldn’t happen?”

Charlie smiled softly, but shook her head.

“Dr. Novak is a great guy, but he isn’t exactly approachable. I mean, I’ve only been here a year so I don’t know him that well, but I wouldn’t peg him for your type.”

“And what type would that be?”

“The fun, outgoing type. Someone smart that could make you laugh. Someone who challenges you.”

Dean smiled.

“Sounds good, sign me up.” He discarded two cards and picked up two new ones. “And, uh, Dr. Novak wouldn’t qualify, huh?”

“I mean, I can’t be sure.” Charlie said with a shrug, “But, he seems more serious and quiet. You know?”

“He does give off that vibe.” Dean gave Charlie a smirk over his cards. “He’s still hot though.”

“Who’s hot?” Sam asked, walking into Dean’s room.

“Dr. Novak.” Charlie answered innocently.

“Charlie! Dude!” Dean wanted to shove her, but his arm was still in a cast and he’d have to reach out of his way with his left. He settled for a withering stare. “Not cool.”

“Dean, you asked the guy to take you for a ride on his Batmobile.” Sam snickered, “I think the secret is out.”

“I did not.” Dean knew he probably did, but didn’t remember so he felt like that was a good enough reason to deny it. “Want to play poker with us?”

“Yeah, deal me in.” Sam said, grabbing a chair and pulling it over to Dean’s bed.

“Actually, my break is over and I’ve got to get back on the floor.” Charlie stood up. “I trust you’re in good hands though.”

“Mediocre at best.” Dean replied, pushing the cards towards Sam to shuffle.

“You’re hilarious.” Sam said back. He looked up at Charlie. “How was his day?”

“He did well. Pain was highest at five today, down to three last time we checked in.”

“ _He_  is sitting right here.” Dean growled. “Can’t you two at least-”

“Good Evening.” Dr. Novak moved quickly into the room and to Dean’s chart at the edge of the bed. He pulled it open. “How are you feeling tonight Dean?”

Dean swallowed back something about putting on his dancing shoes and just smiled instead.

“I’m okay. How are you?”

Dr. Novak sighed softly.

“I’m fine, thank you. How was your walk this afternoon?”

“Good. Charlie took me outside and only banged my broken legs into the door twice.”

Charlie scoffed and gave Dean a dirty look.

“That didn’t happen.”

“I didn’t think it did.” Dr. Novak answered back quickly. “Well, things look good. I’ll come back to check on you-”

“Want to play some poker, Doc?” Dean interrupted, throwing the handsome doctor his most charming smile. “I’m about to slaughter Sam and he gets emotional when he loses all by himself.”

Dr. Novak’s lips curled into a very tiny smile, before evening out again. It looked like he put a lot of effort into hiding his amusement. Dean liked the barely there smile, but he didn’t like how quickly it was managed.

“I’m very busy.” He answered back shortly. “Enjoy your visit.”

And then Batman was gone again, his invisible cape billowing behind him.  
   
***  
_Week Four_  
   
“Do you think he wears contacts? Or...are his eyes just really that blue and perfect?” Dean thought aloud, high on morphine after his first round of physical therapy. He pushed himself much harder than he should have and ended the first session in an extreme amount of pain.

Charlie giggled and adjusted his pain medication.

“Someone is feeling good.” She ran through his vitals as Dean continued to ramble.

“And...does he just like, not like me? Is that- Is that what is happening there? Am I just, repulsive? Is it the casts? Do you think he knows those will go away?”

“I think he has an idea, yeah.” Charlie said back, still smiling. “Doctors tend to know things like that.”

“Maybe I should tell him anyway.” Dean’s eyelids were heavy, and began to droop.

“Good Afternoon.” A familiar deep voice echoed into the room. “How was physical therapy?”

“He pushed himself too hard. I dosed him with the amount you suggested if he had a hard day.” Charlie answered. Dean couldn’t see her anymore, the lights going black around him, but he thought she might still be smiling.

“Ah, well. His type usually does.”

“My....type?” Dean mumbled out, still not really seeing anything.

“My apologies, I thought you were asleep.” He sounded like he was under water.

“What...is my....type?” Dean pushed the words through his lips, despite how little he actually understood them. “Do you....like...my...type?”

“He’s uh, a little out of it.” Dean could feel Charlie’s hand on his arm. “Obviously.”

“Yes, um. I see that.”

Dean wished he could see the doctor, because he thought he sounded nervous.

“Well, I’ll..um...” The doctor cleared his throat. “Vitals look good. Rest up and take it easy tomorrow.”

“So...is that a no?” Dean felt the corner of his lip lift, and he was damn proud of it. “The casts...would fit...in the..........Batpod.”

There was no response for a few moments. Dean wished he could see the doctor and if he was looking at him, but everything was black.

“Sleep well, Mr. Winchester.” Doctor Novak finally said back quietly.

Dean thought he may have replied, “You too, Mr. Wayne.” , but he wasn’t sure.

“Dean?” Charlie asked, but Dean was too far gone to answer now. His eyes were closed and he was sure to fall into the black any moment. “I think he’s asleep now.”

“Why did Jo allow him to push himself that hard?” Batman asked Black Window.

“I don’t really think he gave her much of a choice Doctor.” Black Widow answered. “Jo is tough, but she wouldn’t push someone like this if they weren’t asking for it.”

“Yes, well. It’s irresponsible.” Batman let out a loud sigh. “He needs to rest tomorrow.”

“Okay.” Black Widow answered. “Um, Doctor?”

“Yes, Nurse Bradbury?”

“Oh, you can call me Charlie.” Black Widow said quickly, a slight tremor in her voice. “Can I, um, ask you something?”

Batman didn’t answer for a moment, but when he did he sounded nervous again.

“Go ahead.”

“I was wondering, um...well, Dean he kind of has this...well, he likes you.”

Black Widow was a traitor.

“And well, I was just wondering if that was something that you...might, possibly be interested in pursuing...maybe.”

“He is a patient. That would be inappropriate.” Batman answered smoothly, almost like he was reading from his Bat-playbook.

“Oh yeah, I know!” Black Widow said quickly. “I just meant like, after. You know? Like when he wasn’t a patient. I just feel like I should tell him to move on or something if there isn’t a chance-”

“There isn’t.” Batman cut in, his tone harsh and unwavering. “I’m not interested.”

“Oh.” Black Widow said softly. “Okay, good to know. Sorry if I overstepped-”

“It’s fine.” Batman replied.

Then there were feet shuffling and pulls to his blanket, but Dean didn’t hear anymore from his superhero friends.


	3. Chapter 3

_Week Five_

 

“I was supposed to be out of here last week, Doc.” Dean pleaded. “You said-”

“I said _at least_ four weeks. I cannot, with good faith, send you home when you need major painkillers after every physical therapy session. You’re pushing yourself too hard.” 

“Come on, it's not that bad. Yesterday was a lot better, you said so yourself.”

Dr. Novak chewed on his bottom lip. It was a habit Dean had begun to see as a good sign. It meant his doctor was at least thinking about agreeing with Dean. Dean also liked it because it looked pretty cute the way Dr. Novak’s tongue dipped out slightly, right before pulling his bottom lip in between his teeth.

“One day does not make a pattern.” Dr Novak rubbed his eyes. “Give me three good days in a row. Then I’ll start your release papers.”

Dean pumped his left fist in the air.

“Yes!” He smiled from ear to ear, despite the pain that radiated around his body from the movement. 

“I’d also ask you to be more careful and to take better care of yourself outside of physical therapy.” He gave Dean a hard glare. “I caught the end of your last wheelchair race with Ms. Mills, this morning.”

Dean gave his doctor his most innocent look. 

“I have no idea what you’re talking about.” Dean raised his hand up as if he was testifying. “I don’t even know this, _Ms. Mills._ ”

Dr. Novak drew in a long breath and rolled his eyes as he let it out. He looked outwardly annoyed with Dean, but Dean knew better. Dean had picked up on more than a few of his doctor’s tells over the last month. 

For example, when Dr. Novak was only pretending to be annoyed, the left side of his mouth quirked up slightly before he painted on his disapproving frown. When Dr. Novak was _actually_ irritated, he could go a full minute without blinking or saying a word, all while staring the object of his irritation down. His jaw would also push out slightly to the right.

Dean only earned that version once; when he snuck out of his room to go to the fifth floor’s vending machine. They had way better snacks up there and Dean was tired of green Jello and baked potato chips. 

Dr. Novak stepped onto the elevator just as Dean made it back down to his floor. He had a bag of cheetos in his mouth, plus a sleeve of oreos and a can of Root Beer in his lap. 

Dr. Novak didn’t say anything to Dean, despite his unflinching glare and tense jaw, so Dean just slowly wheeled himself around his doctor and went back to his room. The next day, Charlie came in with a small Tubberware box full of snacks from the vending machine upstairs.

“Hey Dean!” Jody Mills, the woman Dean absolutely _didn’t_ know or have wheelchair races down the hall with, waved to Dean from the hallway as she passed. “We on for tomorrow?”

“Absolutely, Jody!” Dean waved back. “Wouldn’t miss it!”

Dr. Novak crossed his arms over his chest and glared at Dean. The corner of his mouth lifted though, so Dean knew he was more amused than annoyed. 

Dean shrugged, which was a lot more affective now that he didn’t have a cast on his entire right arm.

“No idea who that was or what she was talking about.” He smiled innocently. “You may want to check on her meds, she sounds a bit loopy.”

“Mr. Winchester-”

“Dean.” Dean corrected, smirking at his doctor.

Another sigh.

“Dean. Can I at least suggest moving the activity you have no participation in to the physical therapy gym? That way other patients aren’t put at risk?”

Dean let out a small laugh.

“Seems reasonable. If I had any idea what you were talking about.”

“Of course.” His doctor replied, moving to the side of his bed. He wrote down a few numbers onto Dean’s chart, carefully avoiding Dean’s eyes.

“So does yesterday count as day one in my three day in a row challenge?” Dean asked. He bent forward slightly and tried to relieve some pressure off his lower back. The hospital bed wasn’t doing much at all for the back problems he had _before_ he jumped out of a window.

“Yes, that would be-” Dr. Novak noticed Dean’s movement and his eyebrows furrowed together. “Is there something wrong with your back?”

“Aside from the window I fell out of last month?” Dean joked. He reached around with his good arm and kneaded into the knot that was forming to the left of his spine. “Just a bad back. A pretty standard firefighter ailment.”

“I better examine the area anyway.” Doctor Novak said, rounding the hospital bed and placing Dean’s chart back in its holder. “Especially with you working so hard with Jo, we should be sure you haven’t injured yourself elsewhere.”

“Yeah, okay.” Dean said, leaning back into the bed. 

Doctor Novak pressed the button to recline Dean’s bed and helped stabilize Dean’s legs as he turned over onto his stomach. Dean’s casts had been removed the week before, but he still wore braces on both legs. He could still feel his doctor’s warm fingers around his calves though, as Dr. Novak helped keep him steady. 

Dean really liked when he got to feel those hands on him.

It wasn’t all that often, since Charlie did most of his check-ups, but Dr. Novak did have to touch him to examine his injuries most of the time. The examinations themselves were rarely pleasant, but having Dr. Novak’s long and sure fingers wrapped around Dean’s arm or leg, made Dean _very_ happy.

When Dean was on his stomach, Dr. Novak kept his hands on the outside of Dean’s t-shirt and began moving his fingers over his lower back. Dean kept his face in the direction of where his doctor was standing, which made his face less than a foot away from Dr. Novak’s groin.

Dean squeezed his eyes shut.

“Tell me if this hurts, okay?”

“Sure thing.” Dean mumbled out, barely hearing the man because he was too concentrated on Dr. Novak’s hands being on him again. Dean wished there was a way he could get his shirt off, without it being entirely obvious as to why. 

Dr. Novak moved his hands over Dean’s back, keeping steady pressure as he searched for sensitive areas.

He stopped when he got to the knot Dean had been trying to work out.

“You’re very tight here.” Dr. Novak said, “Is it painful?”

Dean had to practically draw blood from his tongue to keep himself from making the dirty joke his mind had supplied him with.

“Ahh, yeah. It doesn’t feel awesome, that's for sure.”

Dean made a sound somewhere between a groan and a moan, just as Dr. Novak began to work out the knot. 

Dr. Novak’s ministrations stopped suddenly and Dean felt him step away.

“I’ll have your nurse come in and...um, work that out for you.” Dr. Novak said with a strained voice.

When Dean opened his eyes, he found his doctor stepping even further away from the bed with his eyes on the floor. 

“I’m just going to-”

Dr. Novak tripped over his own feet and stumbled back into Dean’s leftover food tray.

“-get Nurse Bradbury and she’ll help you to your back again.” 

“Okay...” Dean said, narrowing his eyes at the doctor. He watched as Dr. Novak picked up Dean’s empty Jello cup and silverware that had fallen, all while he continued to back out of the room. 

“It’s alright Dr. Novak, I can manage-”

Dr. Novak was gone before Dean could finish.

 

***

“So, you’re a free man tomorrow.” Charlie said, sipping her apple juice. “What are you going to do first?”

Dean took another bite of his muffin. 

“Well, I’m moving in with Sam and Eileen for a little while, just until I can get around better on my own. Then hopefully I’ll be able go back to my own place after a couple weeks. I’ll probably have to get me a maid though, can’t imagine I’ll be up for vacuuming for a while.”

“That implies you are someone who regularly vaccuums.” Charlie said, eyebrows raised. “Are you a neat freak Dean Winchester?”

“Not a freak.” Dean shook his head. “But I like my stuff the way I like my stuff. Preferably without dust and grime all over it.”

“Fair enough.” She laughed. “You may have an aneurysm if you stayed at my place.”

“That bad?” 

“Mhmm.” Charlie nodded. “My most recent relationship actually ended in large part because I refused to do laundry.”

Dean’s jaw dropped. “You’re telling me you let a relationship fail just because you didn’t want to wash your clothes?”

Charlie pointed a finger at him.

“Hey, no judgement buster. Aaand that might not have been the only reason.”

“Oh,” Dean smirked. “Gossip. Do tell.”

Charlie laughed again. 

“Maybe some other time. _You know who_ will be here any minute with your discharge papers.”

“He has a name Charlie.” Dean said, finishing his muffin in one last big bite.

“What is it this week?” She smiled. “Captain America?”

“Oh, shut up.” Dean rolled his eyes and drank his juice. “I still can’t believe you let laundry break up a relationship.”

“Laundry?” Dr. Novak’s voice came through the doorway and Dean and Charlie both turned to greet him. 

“Yeah, Charlie here is a regular slob.” Dean said, giving his doctor a blinding smile. “She chose not doing laundry over her partner.”

Charlie balked.

“Winchester! Not cool man!”

“Karma, Charlie.” Dean shrugged. He had been meaning to get Charlie back for her little talk with Dr. Novak, and this just barely skimmed the surface of what she had coming.

He gave his doctor a thoughtful look as the man read over the papers he carried in his hands. 

“You ever let chores come between you and your significant other, doctor?”

Dr. Novak didn’t look up, but Dean saw him blink purposely a few times.

“Not that I’m aware of.” He looked back up with a much colder expression than the one he had on when he entered the room. Dr. Novak walked over to the bed to hand Dean the papers. 

“Here are your release instructions. Medications, exercises, physical therapy schedule, limitations, all of it is written out for you, so please read over them carefully before leaving today.”

Dean felt more than discouraged when he took the papers from Dr. Novak.

Dr. Novak had shown little to no interest in Dean over the last month (besides the occasional poorly concealed smile) and Dean wasn’t used to getting the brush off. He was an attractive guy, sure, but Dean was also _damn_ charming. He had an extensive high school record to show for it. Of course, he hasn’t been that way for some time now, but he was well aware of the effect he had on most people. 

He was a flirt, but he was also just a friendly guy. Dean liked talking to people and getting to know them. He couldn’t remember the last time he took a stranger home to his bed, although he had on occasional made out in a bathroom or two. His last real relationship ended over five years ago, and Dean just hadn’t found anyone he wanted to spend a lot of time with. 

People usually wanted to spend time with him, though, so it was disheartening to see someone be so uninterested in him. It’s not like Dean thought he was entitled to his doctor’s affections, but it still stung not to have it.

“Thanks Dr. Novak. I’m surprised you’re not going to read it out loud to me yourself though, make sure I really pay attention.” He smiled and thumbed through the papers. “Could be an interesting way to spend the next... six hours.”

Dr. Novak grunted out a sort of laugh, but covered his mouth quickly.

“It’s not that in depth. I’m sure you can get through it in three.”

“Another joke?” Dean quirked his eyebrow up along with the corner of his mouth. “Are you teasing me doctor?”

“Perhaps.” Dr. Novak swallowed hard and took a small step back. 

“I need to examine you again before your release. Then I want you to come to my office in a week so we can follow up. Then after that, as long as everything looks good, a six-week check up should be scheduled. Okay?”

“Whatever you say, Doc.” He gave the doctor another of his charming smiles, and Charlie snorted beside him. “I’m in your hands.”

Up to a certain point, Dean felt like friendliness and flirting were virtually indistinguishable. He knew he was toeing the line with the doctor a little bit, but he hoped Dr. Novak wouldn’t take offense. It was obvious by that point that his doctor didn’t have any _extra-curricular_ interest in Dean, so Dean wasn’t trying to be aggressive when he got a little closer to the flirting line. He kind of just liked seeing Dr. Novak squirm.

“Yes- I mean, well....You’ll come back and I’ll-” Dr Novak cut himself off, his cheeks going a little red. “Be sure to see the receptionist to schedule your appointments.”

Dean smiled at his success and then nodded.

“Will do.”

Dr. Novak moved around the hospital bed. He avoided Dean’s gaze, which had become a regular occurrence whenever the doctor could get away with it.

“Will you please swing your legs over to the side of the bed?”

“Sure thing.” Dean said cheerfully. “Legs first today?”

Dr. Novak nodded. He helped Charlie remove Dean’s braces, then placed his hands above Dean’s left knee. Dean tried very hard to keep his breathing under control while his doctor moved his hands up his thigh and checked for pain, as well as range of motion in Dean’s knee.

 

“How’s the pain?” Dr. Novak asked, eyes down on Dean’s bare thighs. If Dean didn’t know better, he’d say there was more than just medical interest in his doctor’s eyes.

“Um, fine.” Dean said, mind on everything and anything that wasn’t his doctor’s hands on him. “Not bad.” 

The more Dean healed, the less painful the examinations were, which meant there was less holding him back from feeling the full range of emotions, that came along with his hot doctor feeling him up. Dr. Novak’s hands were soft and sure, warm to the touch and sending tingles up Dean’s leg and straight to his groin. He had on a pair of gym shorts, which would conceal nothing if he couldn’t manage to keep his hormones in check.

Dr. Novak pulled on his leg slightly, and brought his knee up towards Dean’s chest. The position brought his doctor closer, and Dean locked eyes with Charlie to distract him.

She had on a wide grin, accompanied by wiggling eyebrows.

That wasn’t going to help matters.

“And this?” Dr. Novak’s deep and husky voice pulled Dean closer to him, and Dean found himself tensing to avoid leaning in.

“Uh, good too.” 

His doctor nodded and repeated the exam on the other side.

“You’re tensing,” Dr Novak observed aloud. “Try to relax.”

“Easier said than done.” Dean muttered, and Charlie snorted.

Dr. Novak didn’t hear him or ignored the statement.

Dean took a deep breath and tried to think of baseball and algebra and all the things he knew to kill an impending boner, but then Dr. Novak’s hand slid up his left calf painfully slow and Dean thought maybe he might be in hell. 

“Just checking for any muscle anomalies.” Dr. Novak said with a shaky voice. “I’m sorry if-”

“It’s cool.” Dean breathed. “Do your thing, Doc.”

Dr. Novak’s head was bent down slighly but Dean could see him licking his lips.

Dean was definately in hell.

“Do you want me to go over your medication schedule with you Dean? A distraction can be helpful when you’re in...” Charlie gave him a knowing smile and Dean scoweled at her. "... Pain.

“I think that would be helpful Nurse Bradbury, thank you.” Dr. Novak replied for him.

Dean nodded quickly.

“Yeah, let’s do that.” 

Dr. Novak moved on to Dean’s arm, placing his hands around his shoulder and checking it’s placement. Where his hands were soft and tender when they were on his legs, now Dr. Novak’s hands felt strong and solid, like they would be capable of quite a few things Dean tried not to think about.

Charlie began rambling on about Dean’s pain medication and Dean tried to concentrate on what he was saying.

“-but try not to take those unless you _really_ need them. We want to wean you off the hard stuff, okay?”

Dean nodded.

“I got no plans to become the next New Jersey housewife. I think I’m good.”

“You’d be surprised.” Charlie warned. “Just follow the schedule and you’ll be fine.”

“Yes, Ma’me.” Dean grimaced as Dr. Novak examined his right wrist. “You know, it’s going to be weird not seeing you everyday. I don’t think I’ll like it much.”

He was talking to Charlie, but Dean wondered if Dr. Novak knew the sentiment was extended to him as well.

“Like you’re not dying to get out of here.” Charlie teased. “You have my number though, so when you come in for your appointment next week, just text me and we can meet up for lunch or something.”

Dr. Novak looked between them while he continued to examine Dean, an inquisitive look on his face. He didn’t say anything though, so Dean continued to direct his words to Charlie.

“Yeah, I’m pretty sick of this place and I can not _wait_ to see my baby, but I might miss you.” Dean pinched his fingers together. “Just a little.”

“So charming.” Charlie rolled her eyes. They landed on Dr. Novak and stayed there. “We’ll miss you too.”

Dr. Novak returned her look with a disapproving glare, which made Dean blush. 

“I wasn’t aware you were a father.” Dr. Novak said, eyes hard on Dean’s elbow as he examined it.

“Oh, I’m not.” Dean said, smiling widely because Dr. Novak had actually asked him something that didn’t have anything to do with medicine. “My baby is a 67’ Chevy Impala. She was my Dad’s baby first. Pretty much the most important person in my life.”

“Your father?” Dr. Novak asked, this time looking at Dean.

“My car.” Dean corrected, giving his doctor a teasing smile. “I work on her anytime I’m not out saving lives.” He winked at the doctor, but Dr. Novak didn’t look impressed.

“Your car is gender specific?”

“Don’t worry, I asked her how she identified first.” Dean looked over to Charlie, who was looking at him like he was corniest person she had ever met.

The corners of Dr. Novak’s lips curled into a small smile, though, and Dean nearly jumped for joy. Then, almost as quickly as it appeared, it was gone.

“Well, everything seems to be healing well.”Dr. Novak stepped back. “Just read the material and rest as much as you can and you should do fine this week. Do you have any questions for me?”

“Nope. I think I got it.” Dean smiled nervously. “Thank you Dr. Novak, for uh, you know. Everything.”

“He deserves a medal for putting up with a pain in the ass like you.” Sam came through the door then, pushing an empty wheelchair. 

“Ha. Ha.” Dean jeered. “You’re so not funny.”

Dr. Novak didn’t smile, but it looked like he wanted to. 

Dean really wanted to know why Batman kept doing that.

“You about ready?” Sam asked, looking between the three other people in the room. “ Eileen is making lasagna and Ben pretty much begged me to pick up ice cream on the way home.”

“Yep, just got to check out and make a few appointments.” 

“Alright,” Dr. Novak said. “Call me with any questions, otherwise I’ll see you next week.”

“Okay, thanks a lot Doc.” 

Dean held out his hand and Dr. Novak stared down at it for a second before putting his hand in Dean’s and shaking it lightly. 

Electricity shot up Dean’s arm and he felt something flutter in his stomach as their eyes locked. Their handshake lingered, as did the look between them. Dean kept expecting Dr. Novak to pull his hand back or avert his eyes, but he didn’t. He kept his eyes on Dean’s, as an intense magnetic-like energy passed between them.

It was a stupid, the way Dean suddenly felt like he was transported back to fifth grade, just because his hot doctor kept his gaze longer than he had so far, but he couldn’t help it. 

Sam cleared his throat, because that’s what annoying little brothers do, and Dr. Novak pulled his hand back to himself.

“I-” He started, then looked down at his hands. “Well, have a good day.”

Dr. Novak gave Sam a cursory nod and then he was out the door.

“What was that?” Sam asked, once Dr. Novak was safely out of range. “Is there something going on there?”

“What?” Dean huffed. “With him? No way.”

He let out a bitter laugh. “Not that I’d be against it, but the guy has absolutely no interest. I’m pretty damn sure of it.”

Suddenly Charlie was doing an impression of the invisible girl and Dean narrowed his eyes at her. She was looking down at the floor and fidgeting with her fingers, as she slinked towards the wall by Dean’s bed.

“I, uh, wouldn’t be too sure of that, Dean.”

Dean felt his stomach flip.

“What?”

“Well...” Charlie chewed her lip nervously. “I maybe, _sort of_ , got to talking to Dr. Novak the other day and you came up.”

“What did he say?” Dean felt silly for how quickly he asked the question, and how much interest was behind it.

“It wasn’t what he said, but how he was acting.” Charlie stopped leaning on the wall and stood next to Dean. “His eyes got all nervous and shifty at just the _mention_ of your name. Then, he started mubling and stammering on about proper splinting techniques which we _weren’t even talking about_. It was really weird.”

“But you told me before he wasn’t interested.”

“Well, that’s what he said.” Charlie smiled mischeivously, “but if you ask me, his actions are drowning out his words.”

“What?” Dean didn’t dare hope she was right.”What are you talking about?”

“Oh come on Dean.” Sam interjected. “You two were having a marathon stare contest right in front of us.”

“That?” Dean shook his head. “That was nothing. He was just-”

“Looking into your soul?” Charlie finished, laughing.

Dean huffed and pretended to be offended.

“Alright, bring that thing over here.” He gestured towards the wheelchair. “I’m getting the hell out of this hell hole.”

Sam went over to the bed and helped Charlie get Dean into the chair. 

“Today was the first time he looked at me longer than a few seconds,” Dean argued. “The man can barely smile around me.”

“He has to try not to though, you see him hiding it. Right?” Charlie asked. She started strapping Dean’s braces around his legs.

Dean definitely had seen the doctor do that, but he just assumed it was because Dr. Novak didn’t want to lead Dean on or something. After Dean’s painkiller confessions, there was no hiding his crush, and it was more likely that Dr. Novak just didn’t want to give Dean any ammunition to try something with him. 

“Well, either way, the man said he wasn’t interested, so I have to respect that. Plus, he’s my doctor so it’s not like it’s even possible.”

“He won’t be your doctor forever.” Charlie said, almost singing her words to him.

“Okay, that’s enough out of you.” Dean said, pointing a harsh finger at his new friend. “I’ll be back next week and you can annoy me some more then.”

Charlie bent down and kissed his forehead.

“Count on it.”


	4. Chapter 4

**Notes for the Chapter:**

> Disclaimer: I am not deaf nor am I familiar with the deaf community. If the depiction of the deaf characters in this story offends or are poorly represented, please let me know. Thank you!

Sam helped Dean up the porch stairs as Dean balanced on his braces and the canes he was forced to use. It was a struggle, especially because there was extra pressure on his right arm when he used the canes, and that made his recently broken arm sore with effort.

“One more, then you’re good.” Sam said, arm around Dean’s waist to help him. “You need a break?” 

Dean huffed and shook his head no. “Let’s just get there.”

Sam snickered under his breath and helped his brother up the final step to his front porch. He had a bag of ice cream in his other hand, which Dean insisted on being mint chocolate chip.

Dean made it up to the porch and leaned against the wall as Sam pulled his keys out and opened the door. He pressed the little button outside their door, the one next to the doorbell, that would signal the lights set up in each room to notify Eileen someone was home or knocking on the door. 

“You sure Eileen won’t mind-”

“You know better than that, Dean.” Sam interrupted, aiding Dean inside. “She loves you. Don’t ask me how, but she does.”

Dean gave his brother a dirty look then looked around Sam’s living room as he adjusted to being inside. There was a banner over the television that said, _Welcome Home Uncle Dean!_ , written in big block letters. It was full of color, Dean thought maybe each letter might be in a different one. There was also a cake on the bistro counter between the kitchen and living room, as well as a few balloons littering the ground.

Dean mouth broke into a wide smile.

“Holy crap. Your kid is amazing, Sam.”

Sam smiled proudly and nodded his agreement. “He’s all Eileen.”

Just then, Dean’s seven year old nephew came running into the room, a huge smile on his face. He looked like he had plans to hug his uncle as hard as he could though, and Sam grabbed him around the waist to stop him.

Ben looked at his father with a confused look on his face.

_Careful, Ben. Uncle Dean is still really hurt. Just soft hugs for now, okay?”_

Sam signed to his son quickly and Dean was grateful he wouldn’t have to be the one to let Ben down. Ben loved to roughhouse, and Dean was almost always the one to wrestle with him.

Ben looked back to Dean and furrowed his brows together in concern.

_I thought you were better._

Dean shrugged apologetically, then moved to the sofa so he could sit down and free his hands to talk to his nephew. When he was finally sitting, Dean patted the seat next to him and Ben jumped up to sit beside him.

_I am better, buddy, but it’ll be awhile before I am back to normal. We can still do cool things together though, maybe build one of those lego ships you got last Christmas?_

Ben smiled brightly up at his uncle.

_Okay, cool. After dinner?_

_We’ll see buddy._

Sam tapped his son on the shoulder.

_Uncle Dean needs a lot of rest while he is here. Can you be a big helper and help us take care of him?_

Dean rolled his eyes because he didn’t like being treated like an invalid, but Ben seemed to love the idea so he didn’t say anything.

Eileen came into the room a second later and waved hello. She bent down to kiss Dean’s cheeks.

_How are you feeling?_

_Like I’ve been hit by a bus, then run over by a train._

It had taken a lot out of him to leave the hospital and then get to the couch, and now all Dean wanted to do was eat something delicious and go to sleep.

_Hungry?_

Dean scoffed. _Have you ever known me to turn down food?_

She and Sam both laughed.

Sam signed as he spoke.

“Well, I think we have some leftover meatloaf, we could make some sandwiches. Right?” 

He turned to his wife, who nodded her head.

_Yep, I’ll bring you one._

_You’re a saint._ He sighed and leaned back into the sofa carefully. He closed his eyes, but even with them closed, he could feel his brother staring at him.

“What?” He murmured. “Leave me alone and help your wife make me lunch.”

Dean felt Ben snuggle softly into his side and he pulled his arm around him.

“Do you need to take something? Charlie said-” 

“I know what she said.” Dean grumbled. “I’m fine. Just need a minute.”

Dean heard Sam making some sort of noise with his hands and he assumed he was signing to Ben.

“Let the boy stay.” Dean said, taking a wild guess as to what Sam asked of his son. “He’s keeping me warm.”

Sam chuckles softly.

“Okay, but just tell me if you need a break.”

“Will do.” Dean replied. He tried not to let the pain he felt show through his voice. His legs and hips felt heavy and sore, while there was a sharper pain pulling at his side. His arms throbbed from resting so much weight on them to help him walk, especially on his right side. He tried to concentrate on the parts of him that weren’t in pain, and found that the only thing that qualified was his mouth.

His mouth was in good shape.

Although, thinking of his mouth made his mind wander to _other people’s _mouths, and that led only to badness. Dean shook his head to rid himself of thoughts about Dr. Novak.__

__A minute later, Eileen brought him a meatloaf sandwich and Dean ate heartily._ _

__“I’m going to bring the rest of your stuff to your room.” Sam said, already halfway out the door. “When you’re done, you want to go to bed for awhile?”_ _

__Dean nodded with his mouth full._ _

__Sleep sounded like an excellent idea, although being alone in bed left him without the distraction of meatloaf sandwiches or adorable nephews to play rock, paper, scissors with._ _

__And without distractions, Dean knew exactly where his thoughts would go._ _

__They’d go straight to one tall, dark and Batman-like doctor who said he wanted nothing to do with Dean, but also showed signs of maybe being full of shit in that regard._ _

__Dean tried not to think about what Charlie said as Sam helped him to his bedroom and into bed. He tried not remember what it felt like to have Dr. Novak’s hand clasped with his own, or the way he always tried to hide his smiles. Forcing himself to concentrate only on getting into bed carefully, and doing his best to push away thoughts of his doctor, Dean took the medicine Sam practically force fed him._ _

__“Just rest.” Sam said at the doorway, “I’ll wake you for dinner.”_ _

__Dean nodded. “Thanks, Sammy. You’re a peach.”_ _

__Sam rolled his eyes and shut the door behind him, leaving Dean with only one thing to think about as his meds transformed the doctor in his mind back into the superhero of his dreams._ _

__

__***_ _

__Dean spent his first week out of the hospital sleeping, telling Ben stories in bed, and watching the all of The Sopranos on Netflix. Donna, Ash and Bobby came to visit and stayed for dinner one night, where Dean had one beer and felt like death. He was sure not to mix alcohol with his meds again after that._ _

__He had two physical therapy appointments with Jo, both of which ended with Jo calling him a pain in the ass. He worked hard during his sessions, but his smart mouth had Jo threatening to have him gagged for their next session. Sam and Eileen took turns taking him to physical therapy, which Dean was grateful for but he did resent having to be driven around all the time. He would be cleared to drive after another couple weeks of physical therapy though, when he only needed one of his canes to help him walk._ _

__The day of his appointment with Dr. Novak had Dean taking an extra long shower where he shaved his face and exfoliated his entire body. Eileen had some sugar scrub that smelled like lavender and Dean couldn’t help but wonder if Dr. Novak would like it._ _

__When it was time to get dressed, Dean opted for a much tighter pair of jeans than necessary and a green and blue plaid button down that brought out the green in his eyes. He spent extra time on his hair too. By the time Sam came to his room, Dean was strapping his leg braces on over his jeans and admiring himself in the mirror._ _

__“Big date?” Sam asked, smirking._ _

__“No, ass.” Dean rolled his eyes, but turned his head in case he was blushing. “I’m having lunch with Charlie before my appointment.”_ _

__“Oh, have a thing for your lesbian new best friend, do you?”_ _

__“Oh yeah.” Dean nodded. “We’re going to be very happy together.”_ _

__“You’re an idiot.” Sam said back, shaking his head at his older brother. “You know that, right?”_ _

__“And you know that I am disabled and in need of understanding and compassion.” Dean quipped. “Right?”_ _

__Sam gave him his best bitch face and gestured at him to move._ _

__“I promised Ben I’d take him to the park after I drop you off, so why don’t you fix your hair so we can go.”_ _

__“What?” Dean wined, turning sharply back towards the mirror. “What’s wrong-”_ _

__His hair was perfectly fine and his smart ass little brother was laughing at him from the doorway._ _

__Dean gave his brother a less than amused look._ _

__“Bitch.”_ _

__

__***_ _

__“So, you nervous?” Charlie asked, taking a bite of her salad and giving Dean a teasing smile._ _

__“Nervous?” Dean played dumb. “Why would I be nervous?”_ _

__“Oh, I don’t know.” Charlie pretended to think. “Maybe because you’re about to see the doctor you’ve been crushing on for almost two months. Maybe because said doctor is totally into to you too, even if he won’t admit it.”_ _

__Dean frowned._ _

__“You gotta stop saying that. Dr. Novak _doesn’t_ like me. He said so himself.”_ _

__“So is that why you look like you just walked out of a rugged men’s magazine and smell like a field of fresh flowers?”  
Dean choked on his cheeseburger._ _

__“It’s okay.” Charlie said quickly. “It doesn’t look like you tried too hard, you look good.”_ _

__Dean looked down at himself and wondered if the jeans were a bad idea. With the braces on, it wasn’t like Dr. Novak was going to even get a good look at him in them. Not that he would want a good look in the first place._ _

__“Do I really smell like flowers?”_ _

__“It’s subtle.” Charlie smiled. “Plus, maybe it will do something for Bruce’s mood.”_ _

__Dean ignored the nickname._ _

__“What do you mean?”_ _

__“He snapped at an orderly this morning, which was weird because Dr. Novak is always at least polite to everyone, even if he isn’t particularly chatty. Then I saw him chewing out a maintenance man about the coffee machine, which happens to be broken again.”_ _

__

__“That doesn’t sound like him either.” Dean said, dipping a french fry in ketchup and stuffing it in his mouth._ _

__Dr. Novak, despite his standoffish nature, never came across as an asshole. Dean wondered what might be wrong._ _

__“Maybe he lost a patient or something.” Dean said, shrugging._ _

__“Possibly.” Charlie nodded. “I’m only on two of his patients right now, so it’s definitely possible he lost one I don’t know about. He has a few in peds, which I don’t do.”_ _

__“Can’t handle the munchkins?”_ _

__“No, nothing like that. I just don’t want to.” Charlie replied, sipping the last of her soda. “I did a rotation when I was in nursing school, and I just couldn’t handle it. It’s too sad sometimes.”_ _

__“Yeah, I get that.” Dean agreed. “Well, if a kid I was responsible for died, that would definitely put me in a bad mood too.”_ _

__“Could be.” Charlie shrugged. “Either way, I think seeing you will brighten his day a little.”  
Dean rolled his eyes and checked the time. His appointment was in the next building over, in ten minutes._ _

__“I should probably get going.” Dean said as calmly as he could._ _

__“Don’t worry.” Charlie said softly. “You look great, you smell great, you _are_ great.” She gestured towards Dean’s lunch tray. “I’ve got that, you go ahead.”_ _

__Dean smiled._ _

__“What would I do without you?”_ _

__“Probably go to see your hot doctor with a piece of lettuce in your teeth.”_ _

__Dean immediately put a hand over his mouth. Charlie showed him where the offending piece of food was, and Dean dug it out as quickly as he could with a plastic knife._ _

__“Such good manners. Dr. Novak would be so lucky to have you.” Charlie teased, as Dean finally stood up._ _

__“Oh shut up.” Dean shot back, smiling. “I’ll text you after.”_ _

__“You do that.” Charlie replied back, throwing one of his neglected french fries at his back. “Good luck!”_ _

__Dean worked his way out of the kitchen and then out of the building. Dr. Novak saw outpatients one building over, and Dean began the walk over._ _

__Dean stopped though when he saw what was set up between the buildings._ _

__It was a coffee kiosk._ _

__Of course it was possible Dr. Novak had already gotten his coffee somewhere else, very possibly from that kiosk, but once Dean had the idea he couldn’t let it die._ _

__There wasn’t a line, which was also a bonus since Dean didn’t like the idea of having to stand longer than necessary. After only another moment of deliberation, Dean headed straight for the kiosk and ordered a cappuccino._ _

__He wasn’t sure how the doctor took his coffee, but he didn’t seem like the sugar bomb type, and everyone liked cappuccinos._ _

__“Do you think you could put it in one of those travel trays, and then maybe put the tray in a bag?” Dean asked the barista. He thought he would get a strange look for his request, but the barista just smiled and nodded. The woman handed Dean the bag and Dean held it between his palm and his crutch._ _

__“Thank you.”_ _

__Dean paid for his coffee and then walked, as carefully as he could, the rest of the way to Dr. Novak’s outpatient building._ _

__He had to take a break outside the door to his office, just because he didn’t want to show up out of breath and struggling. He also wanted to stop to remind himself that Dr. Novak probably didn’t see him as anyone other than just another patient, and that all of the nerves he was feeling at the thought of locking eyes with him again, were entirely one sided._ _

__He wished it was different. Dean wished he could go in there and call his doctor by his first name and then maybe invite him to dinner one night next week because, _hey- the guy has to eat doesn’t he?_ _ _

__But Dean knew that wasn’t going to happen. He wasn’t even sure by that point if he was going to give the coffee to Dr. Novak._ _

__Dean was somewhat of a chicken shit._ _

__When his breathing was under control and his legs felt less on fire, Dean pushed open the door to Dr. Novak’s office and checked in. He was three minutes late, but the receptionist said Dr. Novak was running behind today anyway. Dean found a seat in the waiting room, sat down, and placed the bag with the coffee in it on the table beside him._ _

__Before he could even open a magazine, the door to the backside of the office opened and an older woman called his name._ _

__“Dean Winchester.”_ _

__Dean felt his heart begin to pound in his chest. He knew he had a crush on the guy, but his body was acting a little ridiculous in his opinion. He practically begged his heart to slow down and his blood to stop rushing in all directions._ _

__He stood up slowly and contemplated leaving the coffee on the table. At the last second he grabbed it though and brought it with him._ _

__“Yeah, that's me.” Dean told the woman, and followed her through the door._ _

__“Alright, let’s get you in a room and then we can get those braces off you.” The woman said briskly. She had a round figure and a face that looked like it had seen a lot in its lifetime, but still managed to be genuinely pretty. “I’m Ellen Harvelle, I’ll be getting your stats for Dr. Novak and he’ll be in to see you shortly.”_ _

__“Sounds good.” Dean said nervously. He followed Ellen around a corner to a hallway with four or five doors on either side. Another doctor, a woman with dark brown hair, stood at a large desk where multiple computers sat. There was a large bookcase behind the desk and a bunch of books Dean would rather burn than read._ _

__The woman was reading a chart, but looked up as Ellen and Dean passed._ _

__Her eyes swept up and down Dean’s body quickly, and the corner of her mouth perked up._ _

__“Say Ellen,” The doctor asked, turning and resting her hands on the desk behind her. “Did you hear that joke about the firefighter and the doctor?”_ _

__“Can it Meg.” Ellen said roughly, not even looking behind her._ _

__Dean did look back though, and found the doctor smiling at him wickedly. She waved though, and Dean gave her a little nod in return._ _

__Dean wondered what the hell the woman was getting at, and if the subject of the joke was just a coincidence or if Dr. Novak had been telling people about Dean’s little crush. Dean didn’t think he seemed like a douchebag type, but sometimes it’s hard to tell._ _

__Dean was definitely regretting the coffee now._ _

__“Don’t mind her.” Ellen said as she stopped outside a door and pushed it open for Dean to pass through. The door across from the examining room they stood outside of opened, and someone else stepped into the hallway. “She was raised in the seventh circle of hell.”_ _

__“Which ring?” Dean asked cleverly._ _

__Dean was about to go into the examining room, but he was stopped by a familiar sigh from across the hall. It was a sigh that always seemed to say or mean something, but Dean never could figure out what._ _

__Dean turned to see Dr. Novak staring at him, and his mouth went dry. He wanted to say hello, but Dr. Novak didn’t say anything so Dean didn’t either. The doctor looked a combination of pleased and uncomfortable, which, as usual, Dean didn’t understand. Dean felt like his skin was sizzling and popping under the doctor’s gaze, and he had to struggle to keep a casual look on his face._ _

__A moment passed between them, where nothing was said and _everything_ was felt._ _

__At least for Dean._ _

__“Mr. Winchester?” Ellen’s voice called to him from the examining room, and Dean swallowed hard before giving the doctor a soft smile and turning into the room. Ellen closed the door behind him._ _

__“So, how was your first week at home?” Ellen asked, she sat down on the stool and began helping Dean out of his braces._ _

__Dean was still reeling from his encounter with Dr. Novak in the hall, so he just barely managed to answer the question._ _

__“I’m fine.”_ _

__“Are you getting around all right? Making it to your physical therapy sessions?”_ _

__Dean nodded._ _

__“Yeah, Jo’s a real ball buster.” Then Dean remembered Jo’s last name. “Hey, you two wouldn’t happen to be related, would you?”_ _

__Ellen gave him a half smile._ _

__“She’s my daughter.” She pointed a finger at him. “Don’t get an ideas, she doesn’t date patients.”_ _

__Dean raised both of his hands and planted on an innocent face._ _

__“Hey, no! I wasn’t- I’m not-”_ _

__Ellen laughed._ _

__“I know. Calm down honey.” She helped Dean out of his second brace and he sat down on the examining table. “She told me to give you a hard time though.”_ _

__Dean groaned._ _

__“Your daughter is a piece of work, you know that?”_ _

__“I do.” Ellen smiled proudly. “Now, why don’t you run me through the last week.”_ _

__

__***_ _

__Fifteen minutes later, Dean was alone in the examining room, leaving him to stare down his bag of coffee. It taunted him, just sitting there reminding him of how bad he had it for the doctor. Dean kind of hated that._ _

__He only had to wait a few minutes though before there was a knock on the door, and Dr. Novak walked into the room and shut the door behind him._ _

__“Hello, Dean.”_ _

__“Hey Doc. How’s it going.” Dean rubbed his sweaty palms over his jean clad thighs. He tried to look unaffected, but he wondered how successful he was._ _

__“Fine.” Dr. Novak answered, giving him a barely there smile. “How are you? I see that you haven’t been taking the Percocet and you’ve only been taking the Tylenol with Codeine and Ibuprofen?”_ _

__“I don’t like the hard stuff Dr. Novak. My brain gets...well it rebels against me.”_ _

__“Dean, if you’re in pain-”_ _

__“I’m tough, don’t worry about me. Firefighters are bred for pain.”_ _

__Dr. Novak blinked forcefully and frowned, his almost smile transitioning into something much less pleasant._ _

__“Yes, well...” He sucked in a breath and looked down at Dean’s chart. “Ellen wrote that you’ve been doing well in physical therapy. Can you show me your progress please?”_ _

__Dean nodded and made to get down from the table, but without the braces his confidence was a little shaky._ _

__Dr. Novak extended his hand and Dean took it._ _

__With his doctor’s support, Dean walked shakily over to the counter without his braces, and grabbed the bag with the coffee in it._ _

__“You’re doing well.” Dr. Novak said softly. “How is the pain?”_ _

__“Sucker punch.” Dean replied through gritted teeth._ _

__Dean heard what he thought was a little snort, and when he looked at his doctor he saw little lines around his blue eyes that seemed to twinkle a little more than they had a moment earlier._ _

__“If my memory serves me, that’s four?”_ _

__Dean smiled cheekily. “That's the one.”_ _

__Dr. Novak helped Dean back to the examining table, their hands still clasped together. Dean thought that was enough, just to hold the guy’s hand and be close enough to look in his eyes. He was beginning to accept that the man wasn’t going to be a part of his personal life, but he was grateful for the little moments he got with him anyway._ _

__“So um, I had lunch with Charlie today.” Dean’s voice wavered as he prepared to make a fool out of himself. “She had, uh, mentioned that you were coffeeless today and I just...” Dean sort of held up the bag then placed it beside him. He closed his eyes as he pulled the coffee from the tray and out of the bag. When he turned back towards Dr. Novak, his eyes were open but he wasn’t looking up at him._ _

__“...I saw a coffee kiosk and thought maybe you’d need some.” Dean’s eyes flickered over to Dr. Novak’s and he was pleased with what he found waiting for him._ _

__Dr. Novak looked completely nonplussed, but not negatively so. His eyes were still bright and there was a lift in the left corner of his mouth._ _

__“You...bought me coffee?” Dr. Novak said carefully._ _

__“Well, yeah.” Dean said back, trying on a confident smile. “Charlie said you were pretty grumpy this morning. Thought maybe this would help.”_ _

__This time, Dean got a real smile._ _

__Dr. Novak’s lips lifted as they spread apart. The lines around his eyes deepened as did the ones around his cheeks where his smile extended. One side was a little higher than the other, and Dean, well Dean was absolutely captivated by it._ _

__He returned the smile easily and pushed the coffee into Dr. Novak’s hands._ _

__“Thank you, Dean.” Dr. Novak said, still smiling but with more control now. “That was very thoughtful of you.”_ _

__“Sure.” Dean shrugged. “I figured it was the least I could do.”_ _

__They shared another, much longer than necessary look, then Dr. Novak sipped his coffee._ _

__“It’s a cappuccino, I didn’t know-”_ _

__“It’s very good. Thank you.” Dr. Novak replied. He looked back down at the coffee in his hands and cleared his throat. “Well, you are on track and still healing well. Do you have any questions for me?”_ _

__Dean shook his head. “No, I don’t think so. Unless you can tell me how to beat a seven year old at SuperSmash Brothers.”_ _

__Dr. Novak gave him a very confused look._ _

__“My nephew loves video games.” Dean explained. “And I pretty much live on the couch or my bed so-”_ _

__“That’s good, Dean. You should be resting as much as possible.”_ _

__Dean sighed. “Yeah, yeah, yeah. You’re like Sam’s broken record.”_ _

__Dr. Novak’s sipped his coffee again and tucked one arm across his chest._ _

__“Well, I’m sorry but your brother’s right. Listen to him.” He paused then added, much more lightly. “And listen to me. I’m your doctor.”_ _

__Dean liked the lighter tone, it was almost like Dr. Novak was trying to be playful, which Dean also liked._ _

__“That’s the way I remember it.” Dean said, smiling. “Although if you want me to keep taking those crazy pills, I may start up with that other nonsense again.”_ _

__Dr. Novak smiled again. It was softer than before, but it was just as genuine._ _

__“I don’t know, I think your brother would make an adequate Thor.”_ _

__Dean was gobsmacked. Not only did Dr. Novak just make a joke, he did it at Dean’s expense. He was teasing Dean._ _

__Dean _really_ liked that and his smile reflected it._ _

__“Well, you’re doing well.” Dr. Novak started after Dean couldn’t come up with something to say in response. “Keep up with physical therapy and rest as often as you can. I’d like to see you again in four weeks to do a full examination, unless you need to come in sooner. All right?”_ _

__Dean nodded._ _

__He hated that it would be four weeks before he saw him again, but there really wasn’t anything Dean could do about it._ _

__“Sounds good.” He reached for his braces, and Dr. Novak put down his coffee to help Dean put them back on._ _

__Dr. Novak’s hands brushed against his thighs as he strapped on the brace and sent tingles up in all directions. Dean didn’t even try to distract himself this time, he actually concentrated on the way it felt to have the doctor’s hands on him, since it would be so long before he got to feel them again._ _

__When the braces were back on, Dr. Novak helped Dean to his feet and handed him his canes._ _

__Their eyes locked, with less than a foot between them, and suddenly the room got a lot smaller. He could feel the undeniable draw towards his doctor, it pulled at him so strongly Dean felt himself leaning forward. To his amazement, Dr. Novak didn’t make an excuse and pull away, he just stood there, holding Dean’s gaze._ _

__Dean was on his feet, but he felt like he might be floating._ _

__His eyes flicked unconsciously to Dr. Novak’s lips, but he immediately realized his mistake and went back up to his eyes._ _

__What he found when he returned there, sobered Dean some._ _

__Dr. Novak’s brows had furrowed together slightly and he was stepping back before Dean had realized what was happening. He had a discouraged look on his face that made Dean feel incredibly guilty. Why did he have to take a perfectly nice moment and ruin it with one sided sexual tension?_ _

__Dr. Novak took another step back and picked up his coffee from the small counter._ _

__“Thank you, again, for the coffee, Dean.” Dr. Novak said, his eyes soft once more, almost like the hardness Dean had seen seconds ago never existed. “I’ll see you in a month.”_ _

__Before Dean could respond, Dr. Novak was gone, leaving Dean to stare at the empty bag he had left behind._ _


	5. Interlude

**Summary for the Chapter:**

> Cas' POV, but just a teaser.
> 
> There will be occasional interludes that will be from Cas' POV. 
> 
> This one doesn't have an exact time frame attached to it, because its just a general feeling Castiel has. It could have been written during any time; from Dean & Cas' time in the hospital together, to any moment up until their first kiss.

Castiel was screwed.

The moment Dean Winchester cracked his first smile at him, Castiel was lost.

He didn’t want to be. _God_ , he really didn’t want to be. 

Castiel _begged_ to be released from the hold Dean seemed to have over him, but there was nothing to be done. Dean had carved out a piece of Castiel’s heart and claimed it for himself. Every smile, every joke, every lingering touch, Castiel kept every moment locked away in a box in his mind labeled, _Dean_. He opened the box only when he was alone and could let his mind wander over all the things they would never share together.

Dean didn’t know this, of course, and Castiel had no intention of telling him. 

Because no matter what he felt for Dean, no matter how much he wished he could act on those feelings, Castiel wouldn’t do that to himself.

He was never going to go through that again.


	6. Chapter 6

Sometimes at night, when Dean refused to take something stronger to help him sleep through a day’s worth of pain, Dean thought about his mother.

He imagined how she would take care of him if she were still alive and what she would do to baby him back to health. Sam pretty much treated him like a child anyway, but there was something about a mother that made getting taken care of so much more acceptable.

When he was a kid, Mary Winchester made him tomato soup and pulled their old television into his room, when he was sick. She would lay down next to Dean and watch Mr. Ed or Texas Ranger, while running her fingers through his hair until he fell asleep. 

He tried to tell her he was too big for that when he was eight and had to have his tonsils removed, but Mary would hear nothing of it. She brought him popsicles on the hour and read him stories from The Brother’s Grimm. She slept in his room the first night, propped awkwardly on a chair, until Dean’s father came and got her. She refused to go until John agreed to take her place. 

Dean really missed his mother.

She died when he was ten, in a house fire. All of them had made it out of the house, but Sam cried because his dog was still inside. Mary ran off to find it, despite John yelling at her to stay. John tried to go in after her, but the flames were too high and he couldn’t get through.

Sam’s dog came running out from the back yard, while the fire trucks pulled up. 

They found Mary Winchester at the back door, unconscious. She died later at the hospital from smoke inhalation.

John Winchester never recovered. He developed a drinking problem and died five years ago from a bad heart and liver. Dean and Sam buried him right next to their mother.

It’s the only place their father ever wanted to be, anyway.

That’s why at night, when Sam and Eileen’s house was quiet and Dean was alone in his bed, trying not to think about the pain or about a certain doctor that still plagued his thoughts, Dean thought of Mary Winchester. 

She was the one that always brought the Winchester men peace.

 

***

“I think I’m going to go visit Mom and Dad later, if you want to come.” Dean said to his brother over breakfast the next morning. 

Sam wore a thoughtful expression as he regarded Dean.

“Yeah, that’d be-” Sam stopped and shook his head. “No, wait. I can’t. Ben has career day at school. I think I’m the only lawyer coming.”

“Okay, next time then.” Dean took a bite of his eggs.

“How exactly are you planning to get there Dean?” Sam raised his eyebrows. “Eileen is at school today.”

Dean gave his brother a leveling stare.

“You’re going to drive me home so I can get my damn car. I can drive five miles to the cemetery Sam.”

“Dean, you’re not cleared-”

“I don’t give a rats ass what I’m cleared for.” Dean pointed at his legs. “Besides, the braces are off and my physical therapy session to clear me for driving is in three days. Don’t be a bitch, Sam.”

Sam sighed.

“Fine. But if you crash and die, I’m going to be really pissed.”

“Noted.” Dean smiled through his mouthful of eggs.

 

***

Dean leaned his head out of the window of his car as he drove down the narrow residential road towards the cemetery. Spring was around the corner and he could smell the cherry blossoms blooming along the road.

He used to hate the short drive to the cemetery, but today Dean was feeling pretty good about the visit. He was back in his Baby, and he was grateful to be alive.

Dean could have died in that fire, he was well aware of that. He could be laying beside his parents in the dirt, rather than going to visit them. 

He pulled up to the cemetery’s parking lot and parked his car. He had stopped by the flower shop in town on his way in, so he grabbed both bouquets from the passenger’s seat as he exited the car. He limped to the trunk, where his canes were, using the car for support. When he got there, he found himself wondering how he was going to get up the hill with both bouquets, while using his canes. 

Theoretically, he could go without them, but he hadn’t gone farther than the bathroom or kitchen yet without them, and he was a little afraid to try now that he was alone.

Just as he was about to try and fit both bouquets in his mouth, a Prius pulled up and parked beside Dean’s car. Dean let out a sigh of relief and hoped that whoever was in that car would be willing to carry his flowers to his parent’s grave first, before they went to whichever one they were there to visit.

The flowers slipped from Dean’s hands as the other person opened their car door, and Dean bent down to pick them up. He heard the other car’s trunk open and then a quick gasp from the car’s owner.

“Dean?” A very familiar, and _very_ welcomed voice made Dean spin around and lock eyes with the new arrival.

Dr. Novak.

Dean’s palms started sweating instantly.

“Uh, hey Dr. Novak.” Dean looked down at the flowers in his own hands and then gestured towards the ones in Dr. Novak’s hands. “Great minds think alike.”

“Yes.” Dr. Novak said quietly, his expression very thoughtful as he regarded Dean. Then, a more stern look took over. “You aren’t cleared to drive yet, Dean.”

Dean pulled his lips down into a sort of _yikes_ expression and shrugged.

“Really? I could have sworn I got that in the mail the other day.”

“It will not be mailed to you.” Dr. Novak replied back still frowning. “How did you even think you were going to get up the hill?”

Dean pointed down to his braceless legs. “These bad boys.”

“You aren’t even wearing your braces?” Dr. Novak did not look pleased. “Dean, you said you would take care of yourself. Does Sam know-”

“He knows.” Dean sighed and used his canes to take a few steps closer to his doctor. “I’m doing fine, really. Jo said I could stop wearing the braces after my last session, and I use the canes pretty much all the time.”

“ _Pretty much?_ Dean-”

“I know, I know. Just to the bathroom, Doc. I swear, I’m taking it easy.”

Dr. Novak gestured towards the cemetery and the small hill before it. 

“That is not taking it easy. Especially with your hands full. How did you think you were going to carry your flowers and use your canes?”

“Well, I um...” Dean looked down at the flowers and then to his canes, which he had placed next to the car. “I was thinking I’d have to choose one.”

“Please tell me you were going to leave the flowers in your car.”

Dean knew he looked guilty.

“Yes?”

“ _Dean._ ”

“Okay, okay.” Dean held up his hands and threw the flowers in the back of his car. “I’ll leave the flowers. My mom is not going to be happy though, she likes her daisies.”

Dr. Novak’s face softened considerably.

“Your mother? That’s who you’re visiting?”

Dean nodded.

“Dad too.”

Dr. Novak’s mouth fell open.

“Oh, Dean. I’m sorry.” Dr. Novak looked down at his own flowers. “That must have been difficult, losing them both.”

“Yeah well, they died twenty years apart, so at least it wasn’t all at once.”

Dr. Novak nodded thoughtfully, eyes still on his own flowers. 

“I can carry them for you. If you want.” 

Dean smiled, “Thanks, that’d be great.”

Dr. Novak pulled a blanket from his trunk and then slammed it shut. Dean handed him his flowers, then closed his own trunk. They made their way between their cars, Dr. Novak in front and Dean following closely behind.

His doctor wasn’t wearing his usual scrubs and white coat today, instead he donned a pair of faded blue jeans and a grey t-shirt. Much more casual than Dean ever expected to see him. The clothes did give Dean a better look at Dr. Novak’s body, and he had to forcefully turn his head away when he got a good look at the doctor’s ass.

Flawless.

When they started up the hill, Dean and Dr. Novak walked side by side. Their pace was much slower than Dean usually walked, and he wondered if his doctor had purposely set their pace slower so that Dean wouldn’t overexert himself. 

“It’s just up there, near the Oak.” Dean said, pointing out the spot where his parents were buried with his cane. 

“Okay.” Dr. Novak said back absently, eyes distracted by the gravestones they passed. “Are you alright? Are you in any-”

“We aren’t at the hospital doc. You don’t have to check-in with me.”

“I am still your doctor, Dean, whether we are in the hospital or not.”, 

Dean rolled his eyes. He wasn’t at all happy to hear him say that. Dean knew they weren’t going to actually become anything, but he had at least hoped that if they ever saw each other outside of the hospital, they could just interact like people, not like doctor and patient. He wanted more moments like the one they shared when he gave him the coffee.

Dean wanted _a lot_ more moments like that.

“Apparently.” Dean muttered under his breath. 

“What’s that?” Dr. Novak asked.

Dean changed the subject.

“So, if you don’t mind me asking, who are you here to visit?” Dean snuck a look at the man walking beside him, and saw his demeanor change quickly from scolding doctor to scared little deer.

“You don’t have to-” Dean tried to backtrack, but his doctor interrupted him.

“No, it’s alright.” He paused, then looked back up towards the oak tree they were quickly approaching. “My fiancé is buried here.”

Dean felt his mouth go dry. 

Losing his parents was incredibly difficult, especially as a child, but Dean didn’t know what it was like to lose someone he was in love with. He can imagine it to be similar, but also a lot more painful in a different way. 

He was also acutely aware of how personal this information was, and how freely Dr. Novak had given it to him. Dean hoped that meant something.

“I’m sorry.” Dean said after a moment. “That’s...that’s really awful.”

“Yes.” Dr. Novak replied, nodding softly. “It was two years ago, so...”

The doctor looked away like he hoped to find the end of his sentence someone where in the graveyard.

“Time helps.” Dean finished for him. 

“So I’ve been told.”

They reached Dean’s parent’s graves and Dean placed his canes on the ground as Dr. Novak handed him the flowers.

“Well, I didn’t think I’d be introducing you to my parents so soon, but uh, here we are.” Dean quipped. 

As soon as the words were out of his mouth, Dean felt like he might actually die from embarrassment. 

Dr. Novak smiled, but didn’t say anything in response.

“Well, I’ll leave you to your visit.” Dr. Novak said finally, backing away. “I’ll see you in a couple weeks.”

“Yeah,” Dean said, eager to put the last ten seconds behind him. “Thanks for your help Doc.”

“Not a problem.” Dr. Novak replied, then smiled again before turning away and walking off to the east side of the cemetery.

Dean watched him go for a while, but then turned to his parents headstones and awkwardly sat down on the ground. He would worry about trying to stand back up on his own later.

“Hey guys. Sorry I haven’t visited in awhile.” 

Dean traced his mother’s name with his finger.

“However I think you’ll find my excuse to be a pretty damn good one.”

Dean smiled up at the sky.

“The guy who helped me bring the flowers is pretty much the most attractive man I’ve ever met, but don’t get any ideas. He’s my doctor and not at all interested.”

Dean threw up his hand as if defending himself.

“I know, I know, bad idea. But I can’t help it. There is just something about him...besides how hot he his. He’s got this energy around him... It’s like it’s constantly pulling at me, drawing me closer. He _intrigues_ me. I find myself wondering what he had for breakfast or what his third grade teacher’s name was.”

Dean rolled his eyes.

“And yes, I know that's weird, Dad. It’s just...I don’t know. I can’t explain it.”

Dean sighed and laid back onto the grass.

“I just want to know him.”

 

***

Dean stayed at his parent’s grave for more than half an hour. 

After he was done gushing about Dr. Novak, he filled them in on the fire and his rehabilitation. It was nice getting everything off his chest, especially the stuff about his doctor.

He thought his parents would probably like him.

His mother wasn’t alive when Dean realized his bisexuality, but he came out to his father when he was twenty. John was drunk most of the time by that point, but he was sober enough that day to give Dean a hug and tell him he loved him no matter what. 

When Dean was finished talking and he had spent another ten minutes just silently looking at his parent’s headstones, he stood up and prepared to head back down the hill. He took a long look around the graveyard, and found his doctor at the far east corner laying down in the grass. 

It was pretty far, so Dean couldn’t be sure, but it looked like Dr. Novak was talking out loud and gesturing a lot as he did so.

It reminded Dean of exactly what he had just been doing over the last half hour, and he felt another pull towards his doctor. 

He couldn’t actually go over there though, so Dean took a deep breath, forcefully looked away from the man who monopolized most of his thoughts, and headed back down the hill.


	7. Chapter 7

“Let’s go, Winchester, another rep.” Jo urged him from above, while Dean laid on his back and lifted his legs into the air. “Don’t puss out on me.”

“Come on, coach.” Dean huffed, struggling. “I promised Ben I’d take him bowling tonight, don’t break me.”

“Bowling?” Jo scoffed. “Dean you can’t honestly think you can-”

“I wasn’t going to bowl.” Dean pushed out through his teeth as he pulled his knees to his chest. “Just getting Ben out of the house so my brother can have loud, obnoxious sex.”

Jo groaned and rolled her eyes. “Too much information, Winchester.”

Dean smirked as he finished his last rep and let his legs fall back down to the ground.

“Break?” Jo asked, and Dean nodded vigorously. She helped him up, and Dean limped on his own to the chairs against the wall.

It was his eighth week of physical therapy, and Dean was thrilled to be lowering his session times to only once a week after today’s session. It wasn’t like he didn’t like working out and getting strong again, or that he didn’t enjoy Jo’s colorful company, but Dean just wanted everything to get back to normal.

He was moving out of Sam’s house and back into his own that weekend, which was another reason he was taking Ben out that night. Ben was sad to see him go, and Dean wanted to do something special for him. He had plans to fill his belly with pizza and junk food, take him bowling, then a movie. Ben loved watching movies, and the theater down the street from the bowling alley had a theatre room especially devoted to movies with captions on. They were playing The Lego Movie that night, and Ben was bursting at the seams to see it.

Jo passed Dean his water and sat beside him.

“You didn’t suck today.” She said with a shrug. “That’s something to be proud of.”

“Your confidence overwhelms me.” Dean rolled his eyes and drank his water greedily. Sweat dripped down his forehead and tickled the side of his face.

“When’s your next appointment with Dr. Novak?”

“Tomorrow morning.” Dean said, trying to sound nonchalant. “I think it’ll be the last until my six month check up.”

Jo gave him a knowing smirk. 

“Counting down the minutes are you?”

“Shut your trap.” Dean warned. “Let’s not start up with that again. You and Charlie, man, I can’t get either of you off my back.”

Jo started picking the label off her water bottle.

“Did you, uh, talk to her? Recently?”

Dean gave a knowing smile of his own.

It turned out that Jo was the one that had dumped Charlie for her atrocious domestic skills, but Dean also learned there was a hell of a lot more to that story.

“Why don’t you just call her and tell her you miss her?”

Jo scoffed. “I don't! I mean...It’s not like I don’t _not_ miss her. It’s just...complicated.”

“That’s what she said.” Dean shrugged and sipped his water. He was grateful that the conversation had geared away from him. “But it seems like you both still have feelings for each other. Might be something there.”

Jo looked thoughtful for a moment, then punched Dean in the shoulder.

“Shut up.” She stood up and threw her empty water bottle into the recycling bin across the room. “Swoosh!” 

“Nice.” Dean nodded and finished his own water. He stood up and attempted to copy her, but his water bottle hit the edge of the can and bounced out. “I was robbed!”

Jo rolled her eyes and shook her head.

“Yeah, of athletic skills at birth.”

“You know, I’m going to miss these nice little chats of ours.” Dean said, a fake smile planted firmly on his face.

Jo returned the smile, even wider and showing more teeth.

“You love me.”

Dean rolled his eyes, but couldn’t deny he did really like his physical therapist. Despite how annoying she was.

“Alright. Am I done here?” Dean asked, limping over to his cane. He was down to only using one. “I got shit to do.”

“You mean primp and manicure for your date tomorrow morning?” Jo batted her eyelashes at him, and Dean flicked her the bird. 

“Later, Jo.” 

Dean didn’t give her a chance to reply.

 

***

 _What toppings do you want on your pizza?_ Dean signed to Ben.

_Everything but olives. Those are gross._

Ben made a sick looking face and Dean laughed and nodded.

_I have to agree. Olives suck!_

Dean turned to the snack counter and ordered them a pizza and some sodas. After he paid, he let Ben lead them to their lane.

Ben tapped Dean on his wrist.

_They have really light balls for the babies. Maybe you could use one of those?_

Dean gave his nephew a dirty look.

_Baby bowling balls? Is that what you think of me?_

He roughed up Ben’s hair and Ben squirmed and ran ahead to find a ball for himself. Dean settled into the seat behind the computer at their lane and entered Ben’s name.

Ben returned moments later with a bright orange ball and put it on the carrousel.

_Alright buddy, you ready for those Turkeys?_

Ben nodded and smiled widely.

_I got to come here on a field trip before. I got one Turkey and double strikes twice._

Dean raised his hand up for a high five and Ben jumped up to slap it as hard as he could.

_That’s awesome dude. Go ahead and show me what you got._

Ben picked up his ball and made his way towards the alley, holding the ball the way Dean had showed him the first time they went bowling together last year. Ben was a natural. They kept the bumpers up, the kid was only seven after all, but Dean was still impressed with him.

Ben’s first ball curved a little to the right, but didn’t hit the bumpers before it knocked down four pins on the right side.

“Nice.” Dean said aloud. It was instinct to cheer for Ben out loud, even though he knew Ben couldn’t hear him. 

When Ben turned around Dean signed his congratulations to him. 

Ben shrugged.

_I only got four._

_Four is better than none._

Ben didn’t look convinced as he took his second turn. This time, he knocked down five pins, leaving up only one to mock him. Ben seemed pleased, though, so Dean offered him a high five.

 _That was just a warm up._ Ben signed, a serious look on his face.

Dean nodded his agreement.

_You’re right. Doesn’t even count._

Ben smiled.

“Ben!” A little girl’s voice called to his nephew from behind Dean, and Dean spun in his chair to find the source. 

When Dean turned around, he was left speechless.

Coming towards him with an uncomfortable look on his face, was Dr. Novak. He was being dragged forward by a cute little blonde girl with her hair in two braids. He had on a pair of grey slacks and a white button down, most likely what he wore to work that day. 

“Uncle Cas, it’s Ben. From my class?” The little girl said as she approached, waving hello to Ben and smiling widely. “I told you about him, remember? He’s the one that can’t hear anything.”

Dean chuckled softly at the girl’s bluntness. There was no malice in her tone, she was just speaking the facts. Kids were good for that. 

Sam and Eileen had hired an aid to go to school with Ben to sign for him during class, so he could be in the mainstream classrooms. Ben loved school, and so far had only had to deal with one naive little twerp Dean wished he could have had a few minutes alone with.

Dean ripped his eyes from Dr. Novak and turned to Ben.

_She is in your class?_

Ben nodded and waved at the girl.

_Yes, her name is Claire. She’s nice. We play soccer at recess._

Dean smiled and turned to where Claire and Dr. Novak had come to stand beside his seat. Dr. Novak looked like a deer in the headlights, skittish and uncomfortable. 

Dean stood up and offered the doctor his hand. He hoped the doctor wasn’t uncomfortable because of Dean’s little crush, which he was actively trying to get rid of. He knew there wasn’t a chance with the guy, so he wasn’t going to just pine over him forever. That would be ridiculous.

“Well, it seems my nephew and your niece, go to school together.”

“Ben is your nephew?” Dr. Novak said, taking Dean’s hand and shaking it quickly. “Claire talks about him a lot.”

Claire signed very poorly to Ben that she wanted to play with him.

Ben giggled at her effort and looked up to Dean.

_Can they play with us?_

Dean shrugged and signed as he spoke aloud.

“It’s cool with me, as long as Dr. Novak doesn’t mind.” He turned to the man who continued to show up in his dreams, despite how much Dean wished he didn’t. “They want to bowl together.”

Dr. Novak’s eyes darted between the kids and then back to Dean nervously.

“Claire, we don’t want to interrupt their-”

“No.” Dean said as he signed. “There’s no interruption, Ben was just about to start his real game anyway.” 

Dean winked at his nephew and he got a smile in return. Dean wanted to show his doctor that he could behave himself and that there was no need to be nervous around him. Dean wasn’t some sexual predator; he was a nice guy who picked up on the signals the doctor had been putting out. 

“Well, alright.” Dr. Novak said, obviously still uncomfortable with the situation. “Sure. Thank you.”

“Great.” Dean sat back down at the computer to enter Claire’s name and tried not to think about how obvious it was Dr. Novak didn’t want to be there. “You bowling, Dr. Novak?”

“Oh, um, no. Let the kids play.” Dr. Novak said. “I’ll just go cancel our lane and buy them another game.”

Dean nodded. “Sounds good.”

He purposely didn’t follow Dr. Novak’s body as he left, so when Dr. Novak spoke again from behind him, Dean was surprised.

“And Dean?” Dr Novak said, his voice soft and careful. Dean turned in his seat, looked up at his doctor, and tried not to think about how gorgeous the man was. “You can call me Castiel.”

Dean felt a lump form in his throat. 

He nodded and tried to smile like he wasn’t over the moon at the suggestion.

“Okay, cool.” He smiled again, this time a little wider. “Castiel.”

Castiel’s eyes brightened when Dean said his name, but Dean pretended not to notice.

He turned back around and watched the kids play, not taking his eyes off of them. 

He wanted to check behind him and watch Castiel talk to the bowling alley employee. He wanted to watch him return his bowling shoes and thank the man for helping him. Dean even wanted to watch Castiel walk back towards them and pretend he was doing it happily. Hell, Dean would watch Castiel do just about anything, but he was trying not to think about things like that anymore.

Claire raced back towards the computer after she caught a spare and Dean cheered for her.

“How do you sign ‘spare’?” Claire asked Dean.

Dean showed her, then looked over to Ben who was taking his turn.

“You can also spell anything you aren’t sure how to say, and Ben can show you. How’s your alphabet?” 

Claire shrugged.

“Okay, I guess. I mess up a lot of them.”

Dean heard Castiel walk up behind him, and saw him take a seat out of the corner of his eye.

“That’s alright.” Dean said smiling. “I messed up a lot at the beginning too. It’s hard to learn a new language, but it’s good you’re trying. Ben is very patient, don’t worry.”

Dean could see Castiel smiling at Dean’s exchange with his niece.

Claire nodded and smiled. “Okay, what’s ‘S’ again?” 

Dean showed her.

“Right,” Claire took a deep breath and then walked back over to Ben. 

Dean watched her try to sign, and then smiled when Ben helped correct her, and then spelled out words he knew Claire wouldn’t know the sign for.

Dean smiled proudly.

“He’s very patient.” Castiel remarked, looking at the children as they signed together. 

“Ben gets that from his mother.” Dean laughed. “When I met her, I knew only the curse words.”

Castiel let out a small chuckle and Dean found himself swooning at the sound. He shook the feeling away as quickly as he could.

“I have an elementary knowledge, just enough to help someone medically in an emergency.” 

“Well, you may get better if Claire is serious about learning.” Dean gestured towards the pair, who had started bowling again. “When Ben was learning as a baby, I learned a lot then too.”

“So his mother is deaf as well?” Castiel asked, crossing his foot over his knee.

“Yeah,” Dean nodded. “From birth, so they knew it was risk for Ben, but they didn’t see it as a bad thing. So, they didn’t worry about genetic counseling or any of that.”

“Well, from what Claire says, he seems like a really great kid.”

Dean smiled widely.

“I think so.” Dean shrugged. “That’s why I don’t mind taking him out every couple weeks. It gives my brother and his wife a break and it lets me hang out with pretty much the coolest kid ever born. It’s a win, win.”

Castiel gave Dean a soft look and sighed.

“That’s very kind of you.” The way he said it made Dean feel like Castiel wished it wasn’t true. That maybe it would be better if Dean weren’t such a nice guy.

Their pizza arrived and Dean invited Claire and Castiel to join them. Castiel accepted when he saw Claire already grabbing a slice and biting into it.

“Well, it looks like I’m not the only Uncle of the year. Do you take Claire out often?” Dean picked up a slice for himself and took a bite.

Castiel nodded.

“A lot more than I used to. My brother moved here a couple years ago with his family. I’ve been having monthly dates with Claire ever since.”

“That’s cool of you.” Dean said with a smile. “What brought your brother here?”

“Me.” Castiel replied, finally picking up a piece of pizza. “After... Well, Jimmy felt like it would be better to live nearby, so he found a job at an accounting firm in Lawrence and moved his wife and Claire here.”

“That’s nice.” Dean said, eyes falling to the lines of Castiel’s collar bone then traveling up his neck. “You guys must be close.”

Castiel nodded and bit into his pizza. Dean purposely looked away the moment he realized he was fixating on the doctor’s mouth.

“We’re twins. We’ve got three older brothers and a younger sister, so with a full house we stuck together most of the time.”

Dean thrilled at learning more about Castiel and tried very hard not to think about how there was another man out there who looked just like him. Castiel’s sister in law was a very lucky woman.

“Wow.” Dean sighed. “It was just me and Sam growing up and we weren’t exactly calm kids. Six kids under the same roof? Your house must have been wild.”

Castiel let out another quiet laugh.

“You’d think so, but no. My family was very... Structured.”

“Ah.” Dean said with a knowing nod. “Mom and Dad weren’t much for shenanigans, huh?”

“Definitely not.” Castiel smiled. “I can’t imagine growing up with only one sibling though. I guess that could explain why you and Sam are so close.”

“Yeah, that and losing our mom and cleaning up after Dad’s benders, it brought us together.”

“Your father was an alcoholic?” Castiel’s eyebrows furrowed together in concern. 

Dean nodded and tried to look unaffected by their conversation topic. He finished his first slice and picked up another.

“That’s what killed him in the end.” He shrugged. “That and a broken heart.” 

Ben tapped Dean’s shoulder.

_Dessert?_

Dean spoke aloud as he signed, for Castiel and Claire’s benefit.

“Dessert? Who said I was buying dessert?” Dean smiled wickedly down at his nephew and Ben rolled his eyes and poked Dean’s stomach.

_Ice Cream. Make it chocolate._

Dean clucked his tongue.

“What do you say Ben?”

Ben rolled his eyes again.

_Please._

“That’s better.” Dean laughed and turned to Castiel. “I’m going on an ice cream run. Does Claire want some?”

Claire jumped up from the table and wrapped her arms around Castiel’s neck.

“Yes! Yes she does! I want what Ben’s getting!”

Castiel laughed. It was less controlled than Dean had seen so far, and the lines in the corner of his eyes deepened as his eyes practically twinkled at his niece.

“Okay, okay. I’ll go get some for you.”

“It’s alright, I got it.” Dean said, standing. He winced, his physical therapy session from earlier that day catching up with him.

“Dean.” Castiel’s demeanor changed quickly and concern washed over his features. “I wasn’t going to say anything because you weren’t actually bowling, but you know you really shouldn’t be out like this.”

Dean smiled through his soreness and stretched his arms over his head. He was well aware that his shirt exposed a small sliver of his stomach when he lifted his arms, but he didn’t care. He needed to stretch after sitting and his muscles were extremely tense and sore from his session that morning.

Castiel’s eyes moved to the exposed bit of skin Dean was showing off, and Dean stilled as he caught him. 

It didn’t have to mean anything, of course, Castiel could appreciate Dean’s body without actually feeling anything for him, but Dean hoped it _might_ mean something.

Castiel’s eyes shifted away quickly, and Dean couldn’t help the smirk that lifted his lips.

“Like you said Doc, I’m not playing. I’m sitting on my ass just as I would be at home.” He cringed when he realized he had cursed in front of Claire. “Sorry, I’m used to not having to censor myself.”

Castiel waved him away as he stood up. “It’s fine. She’s heard worse from me.”

“Really?” Dean was surprised. “You don’t seem like the sailor mouth type.”

“Well, we’ve only interacted on a professional level up until this point.”

“True.” Dean said back. He cast his eyes down at his wallet as he got it out and began walking towards the snack counter. “Are you saying that we’re interacting on a _personal_ level now?”

He regretted the question as soon as it slipped from his lips. Dean had meant to make the doctor comfortable tonight, make him feel reassured Dean wasn’t going to attack him in the bathroom, and lines like that weren’t going to help his cause.

Dean looked back up to find Castiel blinking down at his own wallet, but it looked like he was not really seeing anything.

“I’m sorry. I didn’t mean-” Dean started, but Castiel interrupted him.

“No, it’s fine.” Castiel said, still not looking at him. “Actually, it’s good you...” 

Castiel stopped walking and turned towards Dean. Dean felt his heart rate pick up, and he urged himself to calm down.

“I want to be clear about something, Dean.” Castiel said then, eyes finally on Dean’s and looking a lot more like the doctor who refused to smile a month ago. “I don’t date patients.”

Dean felt like he had been punched in the gut. He also felt like he might die from embarrassment.

“Oh, um.” Dean shook his head and laughed nervously. “That’s not… I mean, not that I wouldn’t, but I wasn’t trying to-”

“Oh.” Castiel said back, looking back down at his hands and not looking nearly as hard as he did moments before. “Okay, I just wanted to make sure-”

“No, yeah.” Dean stuttered. “I got it. It’s no big deal.”

“Okay.” Castiel replied quietly. “Great.”

They walked over to the snack bar in silence and got the ice cream. When they returned to the table, also in silence, Ben was teaching Claire how to sign _The Lego Movie_.

“Uncle Cas, they are going to a movie after. Can we go too? Ben says they put words on the screen so he can understand what is happening.” Claire put her hands together and begged. “He asked if I wanted to come and I really, _really_ want to.”

“Claire-”

Dean jumped in and signed to Ben as he spoke aloud.

“Claire and Dr. Novak have other plans tonight Ben. Maybe some other time.”

Dean gave Castiel a smile that he hoped said, _“See, I’m not trying to get in your pants”_ , but he worried it looked more like, _”If you won’t sleep with me, then we can’t be friends”_.

By Castiel’s reaction, the second one was probably more accurate.

“Yes.” Castiel said coldly. “That’s right Claire. I promised your parents I’d have you home on the early side. You’ve got swim lessons in the morning.”

Dean really didn’t want Castiel to leave thinking Dean was the kind of asshole that blew people off the moment they turned him down.

“But I’m taking Ben to the park next Saturday, the one off Bleaker? Maybe we could all meet up and have a picnic or something?” Dean gave Castiel a friendly smile, absolutely no ulterior motives behind it.

Claire nodded her head excitedly. “Yeah! Let’s do that. Can we do that, Uncle Cas?”

Castiel regarded Dean thoughtfully, then softened his expression.

“Sure, that sounds great. Thanks for inviting us.”

Dean nodded and placed Ben’s ice cream on the table and Ben immediately dug in. Castiel did the same for Claire. 

They sat back down with the kids and lapsed into an easy conversation about which playgrounds they preferred and proper picnic foods. Dean made Castiel laugh with his definition of proper picnic food, which included pretty much anything that could fit in a cooler, including pot roast and potatoes.

When it was time to go, Dean and Castiel shook hands again; their eyes locking for just a moment before letting each other go.

“Well, I’ll see you in the morning for your appointment.” Castiel said, his arm being dragged backwards towards his car, by his niece. “Get some rest Dean.”

“I’ll bring the coffee.” Dean said, laughing at Claire’s efforts.

Castiel nodded, even though it looked like he wanted to argue, then he gave Dean a small smile and waved goodbye.

**Notes for the Chapter:**

> How are you liking it? Let me know!! :)


	8. Chapter 8

Dean once again spent an extra half hour getting ready for his appointment with Dr. Novak. Except this time, he was in his own shower and didn’t have access to Eileen’s sugar scrub. It was probably for the best, since smelling like a field of wildflowers wasn’t something Dean wanted to repeat daily. 

He did spend extra time in the shower, stroking himself with Castiel’s name slipping between his lips, just to get it out of his system before Dean saw his doctor. 

When he was finished, feeling both guilty and satiated, Dean dried off and dressed in jeans and a t-shirt, which was just a hair too tight. 

He wasn’t actively pursuing Castiel, but that didn’t mean he wanted to show up looking less than his best. Dean may not have a chance, but there was still a small, _tiny_ little voice in the back of his head that whispered, _”What if?”_

Dean tried not to listen to that voice too often, it only got his hopes up.

Arriving at his appointment ten minutes early, Dean purposely didn’t stop for coffee. He had joked that he would, but Dean thought he could tell his doctor would have preferred him not to. So, Dean wanted to respect that. 

He sat in the waiting room for almost twenty minutes before his name was called.

“Dean Winchester.”

Ellen Harvelle stood at the doorway to the backside of the office. 

Dean used his cane to help him stand up quickly and then gave Ellen a wave.

“Heya Ellen.” He sauntered his way through the door. “How goes it?”

“Fine, fine.” She closed the door behind him once he was through. “How you lookin’ these days?”

“Rugged and handsome.” Dean teased, smiling widely. “As always.”

Ellen rolled her eyes and sighed.

“No wonder Jo wants to gag you.” She motioned over to the check in station. “Can you stand on the scale for me?”

“I didn’t know I’d have to make weight.” Dean joked. He was trying to distract himself from his upcoming face to face with Castiel. “I should have skipped breakfast.”

“Would you just hush and stand there?” Ellen pointed to the scale. 

Dean did as he was told and Ellen recorded his weight. She then led him to one of the examining rooms and gestured for him to sit down on the table.

“Alright, break it down for me. What meds are you taking and how often?”

“Just the Ibuprofen when I really need it.” Dean answered, settling onto the table. 

“Is that proportional to your pain levels?”

“Um,” Dean shrugged. “Maybe?”

“Dean, don’t torture yourself. If you’re in pain then you should-”

“Yeah, yeah, I know.” Dean rolled his eyes. “I took one of the stronger ones after my move back home, but other than that, the pain’s been tolerable.”

Ellen sighed like she was unsatisfied with his answer, but said nothing more on the subject.

“Any other problems? Range of motion and strength?”

“Both alright. My right arm still isn’t as strong as it was, and neither leg is ready for a weight lifting session, but I think I’m getting there.”

Ellen nodded and wrote down what he told her.

“Any fevers or sickness?”

“No.”

“Any questions for your doctor?” 

Dean sighed.

Actually, _yes._ Dean had a lot of questions for Dr. Castiel Novak.

Like, for one, how dare he be so goddamn gorgeous and interesting? 

Dean would also like to know how Castiel managed to captivate him just by entering a room, or make his heart stutter in his chest just with a small shift of his lips. Why does Castiel have so much power over Dean? Why does he monopolize his thoughts? Why? 

Seriously, what the actual fuck _Castiel?_

Dean thought that, maybe, those weren’t the kind of questions Ellen was looking for, though.

“Nope.” Dean said innocently. “Question free.”

Ellen didn’t look amused.

“Alright.” She turned and went for the door. “The doctor will be in shortly.”

“Thank you.” Dean said meekly, suddenly feeling very nervous.

The door closed between them, and Dean let out a loud sigh. He carefully hopped down from the table and began to pace the small room without his cane.

Dean made plans to keep his distance and stay fully on the friendly side of the friendly/flirty line. He would call Castiel, Dr. Novak, and not Castiel, to show that he respected the nature of their established relationship. Maybe they could develop a friendship in the future through the friendship of their respective niece and nephew, but as it stood now, they were no more than doctor and patient. Dean would be lying if he said he didn’t want more, but it wasn’t up to him. He would just have to be grateful for what he was given.

Dean practiced his greeting a few times, a formal but friendly,

 _“Good Morning, Dr. Novak”_ ,

Which he felt was appropriate.

When he heard the door knob turn, Dean insisted on his stomach staying in place and his heart continue its steady rhythm. Neither listened, but Dean still tried.

There was a short rap of a knock on the door and then the door was opening. A petite brunette woman in a white coat came in, and Dean recognized her as the one who had asked Ellen about the firefighter joke, the last time he was there.

Dean’s heart stuttered in his chest. His mind raced about where Castiel was and if this woman’s presence meant he wasn’t going to see him today.

“Hello, Mr. Winchester, I’m Dr. Masters.” The woman said, wearing a smug smile on her face that made Dean think she could hear his thoughts. “Dr. Novak got called into an emergency with one of his patients. I’ll be doing your check-up today. Is that alright?”

Her question was said like she already knew how _not alright_ that was, and Dean kind of hated her for it. He couldn’t really say anything about it though, so he only nodded.

“Sure. No problem.” He looked down at his hands and then cleared his throat. “Is, uh, he going to be gone awhile then?”

Dr. Masters smiled again, this time less smug and more curious. 

“Yes.” She pulled open his chart and began reading. “I’m sure you could catch him at the cafeteria later though, if you wanted to wait.”

“No, that’s uh...” Dean shook his head and shrugged at the same time, which made him look like he was having some sort of episode. “… Not necessary. I’ll see him next time.”

“I’m sure you will.” Dr. Masters smiled mischievously at him, which made Dean wonder what exactly this woman knew and how close she was to his doctor. Any idiot could now see that she was aware of Dean’s stupid little crush, and Dean didn’t like the way she was throwing it in his face. 

“So, let’s-”

“Just, hold on a second.” Dean stopped her, and put his hand up. “What did you mean by that?”

“Excuse me?” Dr. Masters quirked an eyebrow up, but her wicked smile told Dean she knew exactly what he was asking.

“The, _I’m sure you will_ \- thing.” Dean mimicked the coy tone she had used. “What did you mean by that?”

He knew it wasn’t exactly an appropriate question to ask a stranger, let alone his doctor, but _she_ started it with all her sly smiles and obvious phrasing. She was baiting him and Dean was happy to take the bait.

Dr. Masters looked surprised, but pleasantly so.

“He said you were brave.” Dr. Masters said with a laugh. “But he didn’t tell me you were stupid.”

Dean’s brain short circuited. He knew he should push back on that _stupid_ comment, but Dean couldn’t get farther than the fact that Castiel had actually told this woman he thought Dean was brave.

“What? He talks about me?”

“See. You are obviously not playing with a full deck, sweetheart.” Dr. Masters crossed her arms over her chest and stared Dean down. 

“Excuse me?” Dean suddenly felt very uncomfortable and exposed. He was being insulted by a stranger, a stranger that would be performing a medical examination on him momentarily. Dean wasn’t keen on that. “Listen, I-”

“You know what? How about we just focus on why you’re here today, and save the gossip for the little girl’s room.”

“Um, okay.” Dean said it more like a question, since he was pretty sure she was the one who started the whole elementary school teasing thing in the first place. “Let’s do that.”

Dr. Masters went back to reading his chart, and Dean squirmed uncomfortably on the table. The paper that covered the table crunched loudly, making the temperature of the room even more uncomfortable.

“Well, it says you aren’t taking your meds regularly, which is fine if you are the masochist type. Let’s examine your strength and range of motion and then we’ll get to the physical exam.”

Dean sucked in a deep breath and nodded. He tried to focus on the real reason he was there, and not the crushing disappointment of having the she-devil in front of him, rather than the man he had jerked off to that morning.

He wondered if that was Karma. 

By the laws of the universe, was Dean not allowed to see Castiel today, because he gave into his lust and made himself come with Castiel on his tongue? Dean was willing to accept that, even though he wasn’t spiritual, just for the simple fact that he felt pretty guilty about getting off to his doctor in the first place. 

Dean liked the man, that was for sure, but his affections weren’t returned. Dean still wanted, still _needed_ , to know Castiel, though. So, if he was going to try and be his friend, Dean couldn’t be fucking himself in the shower to thoughts of him. 

Dean made a mental note to watch less porn.

Dr. Master’s pulled Dean out of his guilt spiral, with a command to stand up.

“Daydream on your own time, sweetheart. I’ve got double patients until Dr. Novak gets back.”

Dean nodded and stood up so Dr. Masters could begin her examination, but his thoughts stayed on Castiel and his plans to befriend him. 

 

***

Later that night, Dean sat down on his couch with a bowl of baked macaroni and cheese that Sam had brought over the day before. He turned on his television and immediately cued up the most recent episode of The Walking Dead. 

That was something he missed a lot about living with Sam. They would always wait to watch The Walking Dead together, and then they’d talk about it until they went to sleep. It was more fun to watch a show like that with someone else, and Dean felt disappointed when he sat down alone to watch.

Sam was in the middle of a pretty big case for his law firm though, and Dean knew that even if he called him right now, Sam wouldn’t be able to talk for very long, let alone skype while they watched a television show together.

Obviously, Dean would prefer to share things like that with a partner, but one had yet to present themselves, so Dean was doomed to watch gripping television shows solo.

He popped open a beer and got more comfortable on the couch before pressing play. When Rick Grimes bloody face appeared on his screen, the first thing Dean noticed was the blue of his eyes, and Dean’s traitorous mind instantly compared them to Castiel’s.

“Gah,” Dean said aloud to his empty living room. He pushed away the incoming flood of adjectives that was Dean’s musings on Castiel Novak’s eyes. 

Dean tried to focus on what was happening on the screen, going so far as to have an internal monologue about what was physically taking place.

_That’s a nice gun you got there Rick. You gunna shoot somebody with it? What about you Michonne, your sword need some seasoning, or what?_

He kept up the practice, because Dean knew if he allowed himself to think about Castiel’s eyes, he would eventually drown in synonyms for celestial and effulgence, and Dean really didn’t want to go down that road tonight.

He just wanted to drink a beer, eat good food, and watch people die horrible deaths during a zombie apocalypse. 

There would be _no_ poetry.

So, Dean continued to narrate in his mind what was happening on screen and he pointedly looked down at his dinner anytime there was a close up of Rick Grimes’ baby blues.

 

***

 

Dean woke up to the sound of buzzing by his bed. He slapped for it, half asleep and meaning to turn off his alarm, but realized it was his phone as soon as his hand it the nightstand.

Sunlight streamed through the crack in his blinds, the cheap white ones all apartments seem to come with, and Dean squinted through the morning’s first rays of sun. 

The curtains he had hung half-hazardly years before, were on their last legs. Sun bleached and torn in a few places at the bottom from where he threw his shoes at the end of the day, the curtains were something he had bought for his ex Cassie; for the apartment they had shared. They were a deep purple color, and matched nothing else in his bedroom, but Dean didn’t care enough to buy new ones when he moved into his own place. Cassie had put them into the boxes of things she wanted him to take with him, along with throw pillows and guest towels Dean just used for himself. Cassie was good to him, always wanted him to have what he needed and had insisted he take half of all of the things they had collected over their five years together.

At the time, Dean didn’t understand why she cared so much about someone she didn’t want to be with, but he eventually understood. Cassie did love him, she just wasn’t _in_ love with him. Dean knew the difference acutely, having had a similar problem with a girl he dated in high school, but being on the receiving end of that conversation was an absolute bitch.

He hadn’t talked to Cassie since he moved out; it was too difficult for him. Dean could say he was definitely over her now; it had just taken him a couple years to get here.

Dean’s phone buzzed again and he rolled to his back with his phone held above his head to read the message.

**Black Widow:** _Guess what._  
**BlackWidow:** _Dean?_  
**Black Widow:** _Deaaaaaaaaaaaaaaaan_  
**Black Widow:** _Seriously Dean. If you do not give me the attention I desire I am going to tell Dr. Novak you used to write sonnets about his eyes in your sleep._

Dean lurched up and began typing.

**Dean:** _Jesus Christ woman, simmer down._  
**Dean:** _What is it?_

__**Black Widow:** _Finally! I thought I was going to have to threaten bodily harm to your precious little baby._ _ _

__Dean began to type out how irrational she was being, but another text came in before he could send it._ _

__**Black Widow:** _I know something you don’t know._ _ _

__Dean grunted and rolled his eyes at his friend’s immaturity._ _

__**Dean:** _Are you going to share what you know, or just be annoying about it?_ _ _

__**Black Widow:** _Grumpy Gus’ do not get valuable information._ _ _

__Dean sighed and shook his head as he typed out his response._ _

__**Dean:** _It’s not even eight yet Charlie. What could possibly be interesting enough to warrant waking me up?_ _ _

__**Black Widow** _I just got to work and overheard an argument between Dr. Novak and Dr. Masters._ _ _

__Now Dean was interested._ _

__He sat up in his bed and rested his back against his pillow._ _

__**Dean:** _What was it about?_ _ _

__**Black Widow:** _You._ _ _

__Dean waited for her to elaborate, but nothing ever came._ _

__**Dean:** _.... And?_ _ _

__**Black Widow:** _From what I heard, it sounds like maybe she said something to you that he didn’t appreciate. Then I heard her tell him to just, “fuck him and get it over with.”_ _ _

__**Black Widow:** _HER EXACT WORDS._ _ _

__Dean’s heart might have stopped beating for a few seconds._ _

__**Dean:** _What did he say?_ _ _

__**Black Widow:** _Idk. He said it too quietly then walked away._  
**Black Widow:** _Whatever it was tho, made her give him one hell of a sexy smile when his back was turned._ _ _

__**Dean:** _Sexy or conniving?_ _ _

__**Black Widow:** _Both._ _ _

__**Dean:** _Okay... Thanks. I guess._ _ _

__**Black Widow:** _I didn’t know if I should tell you, but it seemed like smthg you’d want to know._ _ _

__**Dean:** _Yeah. Thanks, Charlie._ _ _

__**Black Widow:** _Yep. Yep._ _ _

__Dean put his phone down and let out a sigh as he leaned his bed back onto the wall._ _

__He stayed there a few moments, thinking about everything Charlie had just told him, then forcefully removed himself from bed and limped his way to the bathroom._ _

__While he showered, Dean thought about whether he should tell Charlie not to tell him things like that anymore. It really wasn’t going to help him get over his crush, and he wasn’t going to be able to be friends with Castiel, if he still had feelings for him. Knowing that Castiel’s friend was encouraging him to bend Dean over the nearest surface, wasn’t fortifying the _just friends_ feelings Dean was trying to focus on, either. _ _

__Dean worked through his morning routine and sat down to a bowl of cereal, all while trying to actively forget the information he had learned that morning. Of course, he was curious as to what exactly Castiel and Dr. Masters were arguing about, and what Castiel would have said to prompt Dr. Masters to tell Castiel to fuck Dean senseless, but Dean knew none of that really mattered._ _

__Castiel had been clear about where they stood, and Dean intended to respect that._ _

__Dean was feeling very proud of his resolution as he finished the last spoonful of his cereal and took his dishes to the sink. His phone vibrated on the table, announcing an incoming text message and Dean began to prepare how he was going to tell Charlie to stop telling him things like she did this morning._ _

__She’d understand, she would probably even be proud of him._ _

__When Dean got to his phone though, the text wasn’t from Charlie. It was from an unsaved number._ _

__**432-967-4839** _Hello, Dean. This is Castiel. I hope it is alright that Charlie passed along your number to me. Claire would like me to cement our plans for the park this weekend. What time were you and Ben anticipating on arriving?_ _ _

__Dean’s eyes widened and he sucked in an audible gasp. He stared down at his phone for what was probably a full three minutes before he remembered there was an action required of him._ _

__He was going to have to say something back._ _

__**Dean:** _Hey, yeah it’s cool she gave it to you. Although, couldn’t you just look it up on my chart?_ _ _

__Dean stared at the comment for a few moments before pressing send, carefully checking for spelling errors._ _

__A response came back quickly. Dean felt his pulse quicken._ _

__**432-967-4839** _That wouldn’t have been ethical. Acquiring it from your friend seemed more appropriate._ _ _

__They were having a conversation. A live, texting conversation. Castiel was currently looking down at his phone and thinking about Dean._ _

__Dean’s living room suddenly felt ten degrees hotter._ _

__**Dean** _Right. Doctor’s code and all that. You really like your rules, don’t you?”_ _ _

__This time, a response didn’t come right away. In fact, there was a full four minutes where Dean was sweating and looking down at his phone. Finally, it buzzed again in his hand._ _

__**432-967-4839** _They’re there for a reason, Dean._ _ _

__Dean tried not to think about Castiel typing out his name._ _

__**Dean:** _I guess you’re right.  
_ **Dean:** _So, Park?__ _

___**432-967-4839** _Yes, Claire has not stopped talking about it. Thank you for inviting her._ _ _ _

___**Dean:** _Sure thing. Ben is really excited too. I was just going to pack some sandwiches and snacks and head there around eleven. That sound good?_ _ _ _

___**432-967-4839** _Yes, that will work fine. See you then._ _ _ _

___Dean didn’t know how to end their conversation. His instinct was to tell Castiel he was looking forward to it, but he didn’t want that to be misinterpreted. He decided to just go with something simple and direct._ _ _

___**Dean:** _Great. Later._ _ _ _

___When Castiel didn’t write back after a couple minutes, Dean flung his phone onto his couch and buried his head in his hands. His heart was still beating pretty fast and the room felt like it was filled with more oxygen than usual._ _ _

___Just the idea of Castiel having his number and writing messages to him, had Dean pushing a swarm of thoughts away. Most of which originated in the filthiest of gutters._ _ _

___Dean thought it was insane that a perfunctory text conversation was able to get him so worked up._ _ _

___It seemed the whole _just friends_ \- thing, was going to take some practice._ _ _

**Notes for the Chapter:**

> Ideas for the name of Cas' dead lover? The back story is figured out, of course, but i have yet to settle on a name. The characterization will not work for Balthazar; and Gabriel, Lucifer, and Michael will be his brothers. Suggestions welcome!


	9. Interlude II

**Summary for the Chapter:**

> Cas being a scared, adorable puppy in less than 1k words.

Castiel stared down at his phone for much longer than he had ever done so before.

Usually, he just picked it up and dialed or texted out a quick message then pocketed it again. Right now though, Castiel had his phone in his hand and an open text box to a number he had debated on whether to save into his contacts or not.

That argument with himself took five minutes alone. Then when he was actually staring down at the name of the recipient, it took Castiel even longer to figure out what to say. 

He went through several drafts before finally feeling comfortable with the first message.

**Castiel:** _Hello, this is Dr.-_  
**Castiel:** _Hello, this is Castiel Novak-_  
**Castiel:** _Hello this is Castiel.-_

**Castiel:** _Hello Dean, this is Castiel. I wanted to ask about-_

**Castiel:** _Hello Dean, this is Castiel. I got your number from Charlie, she said you wouldn’t-_

**Castiel:** _Hello Dean, this is Castiel. I hope it’s alright that Charlie passed along your number to me. I wanted to ask you about our plans-_

**Castiel:** _Hello Dean, this is Castiel. I hope it’s alright that Charlie passed along your number to me. Claire would like me to cement our plans for the park this weekend. When would you like to-_

**Castiel:** _Hello Dean, this is Castiel. I hope it’s alright that Charlie passed along your number to me. Claire would like me to cement our plans for the park this weekend. What time were you and Ben anticipating on arriving?_

 

Castiel stared down at the message for a minute before finally hitting send.

He was standing in the break room of the hospital, having only received Dean’s phone number from Charlie ten minutes ago. It took him all ten of those minutes to get the first message to Dean sent.

He had to be very careful about what he said and how he said it. Castiel didn’t want there to be any miscommunication between them. Their day at the park was for Ben and Claire, and while he enjoyed Dean’s company (more than he should), Castiel wasn’t going to the park that weekend to see him. 

This was for Claire.

**Dean Winchester:** _Hey, yeah it’s cool she gave it to you. Although, couldn’t you just look it up on my chart?_

Castiel swallowed back his nerves and concentrated on typing a response. Of course he could have looked up Dean’s number from his records, but he would be using it for non-medical purposes, which would be very unethical. Asking Dean’s friend for his number was far more appropriate.

**Castiel:** _That wouldn’t have been ethical. Acquiring it from your friend seemed more appropriate._

**Dean Winchester:** _Right. Doctor’s code and all that. You really like your rules, don’t you?”_

Castiel lips curled into a small smile at Dean’s teasing, and he felt warmth spread through his chest. When he realized he was just staring down at his phone with a goofy smile on his face, Castiel snapped out of it and tried to shake away his fondness.

He wasn’t sure if Dean was referring to his rule about not dating patients, but even if he wasn’t, Castiel wanted to be sure his answer could apply to it.

**Castiel:** _They’re there for a reason, Dean._

**Castiel:** _Breaking them leads to-_

Dean’s next message cut through Castiel’s typing and he erased what he had written.

**Dean Winchester:** _I guess you’re right._  
**Dean Winchester:** _So, Park?_

Castiel sighed and nodded.

The playdate at the park; that’s why they were having this text conversation. Castiel needed to keep that in mind. 

 

**Castiel:** _Yes, I was hoping to-_  
**Castiel:** _Yes, Claire would like to know-_  
**Castiel:** _Yes, Claire has not stopped talking about it. Thank you for inviting us-_

 

**Castiel:** _Yes, Claire has not stopped talking about it. Thank you for inviting her._

Castiel finally hit send.

**Dean:** _Sure thing. Ben is really excited too. I was just going to pack some sandwiches and snacks and head there around eleven. That sound good?_

Castiel nodded as he typed.

**Castiel:** _Yes, that sounds great. Looking forward to-_

**Castiel:** _Yes, that will work fine. See you then._

Castiel was pleased with his final comment and hit send. It didn’t make him sound as eager as he actually felt, and it was still friendly enough.

Dean’s reply came soon after.

 

**Dean Winchester:** _Great. Later._

 

Castiel was somewhat taken back by the shortness of Dean’s goodbye, but there was no point in trying to dissect intention over text messages. If Dean wasn’t enthusiastic about their meeting this weekend, that would make things simpler for Castiel, anyway.

A large and _loud_ part of Castiel’s mind hoped that Dean was no longer interested in him the way Charlie had said he was. It would make this weekend so much easier to endure if his were the only feelings he had to worry about. 

But there was also calm and steady whisper, a voice that caressed Castiel’s senses and taunted him with the truth.


	10. Chapter 10

When Dean was in college, he would usually spend Saturday mornings with a wicked hangover and a stranger in his bed. He’d wake up around noon, sip on a little hair of the dog, fumble through remembering his hook-ups name, and then go take a nap when they finally left. He’d study during the week and party very hard on the weekends. 

He majored in Mechanical Engineering, and had planned on finding a job in the Department of Defense where he could work on military vehicles, but he fell in love with firefighting after volunteering one summer between semesters. There was also the added satisfaction of working to save people who would die the way his mother did without him. He continued school and got his degree, but he skipped graduate school like he had originally planned, and decided to be a firefighter full-time. 

It was a lot of training, and even more grunt work, but Dean loved it. Ten years later, he was still enjoying every minute of it. He got to work with their long time family friend, Bobby, and made a lot of friends he knew he’d have for life. Dean loved the rush of running into a burning building, knowing that there was someone inside who needed him, who was relying on him. There was nothing like it.

After he joined up, Saturday mornings with his squad were spent either working out or running drills, when they weren’t out saving lives. Dean had two Saturday mornings off a month, but he spent those working out or reading his Popular Mechanics magazine out on his balcony. Now, his hangovers were reserved for birthday parties and holidays. 

Of course, that was when Dean had a job to go to Saturday mornings. 

Dean wouldn’t be completely cleared for work for a least another three or four months, but Dean had plans to go back as soon as he could. He knew he would be able to convince Bobby to let him come back to help out around the house, check tools and do some of the work the Rookies usually did. 

Dean would go crazy if he didn’t get back to work soon.

The Saturday he was meant to meet Castiel at the park, Dean went to the fire station on his way to pick up Ben.

Pulling up to the firehouse was like pulling into his second home and Dean felt a sense of warmth and security as he looked up the place he spent so many years of his life. He contemplated leaving his cane in the car, but he knew it wasn’t a smart idea. He didn’t want the guys to see him weak, but he also didn’t want to fall flat on his face when his legs got sore.

Dean walked into the station like he always did, like he owned it.

“Hey boys and girls. Daddy’s home.” Dean announced into the garage, where two guys were washing a fire truck and a woman and young man were checking things on a clipboard.

The guys washing the truck were Ash and Kevin, two of his closest friends.

“Dean!” Kevin yelled, smiling as wide as physically possible. “Shouldn’t you be in a bed somewhere?”

“Yeah, your mom’s.” Dean yelled back, flicking him off.

Ash jumped down from the truck and pulled Dean into a hug.

“Missed you man, you coming back already?”

Dean allowed himself to be hugged and even hugged back.

“Nah, not yet. But I’m hopin’ Bobby will let me come back to annoy you guys a bit early.”

The woman taking inventory was Donna, and she rushed over to join them.

“Dean!” She hugged him from behind so hard Dean thought he might’ve cracked another rib. “So glad to see you!”

 _“Donna.”_ Dean strained, politely pulling away. “That’s some grip you got there.”

“Oh!” Donna said, stepping back with her hand over her mouth. “Sorry, I just got excited and sometimes when I get excited I-”

“It’s okay.” Dean smiled. “I’m happy to see you too.”

“What the hell is all the ruckus in here?”

Bobby Singer walked into the garage with a hammer in one hand and an axe over his shoulder.

“Heya Bobby.” Dean said with a smile. “Miss me?”

“Don’t flatter yourself boy.” Bobby said back, although Dean could see happiness in his eyes. “I’ve got two Rookies to train, one of which won’t stop making moon eyes over Donna there. I’ve got a truck with a busted engine, and two guys out with injuries.”

Dean looks over to the young man he didn’t recognize before and sees his face remarkably red. He chuckles and turns back to Bobby.

“I can help.” Dean said, shrugging. “I’ve got nothing better to do. Want me to come by tomorrow and look at the engine?”

Bobby gave Dean a hard look.

“Where’s your doctor’s note.”

“Oh come on, Bobby. I’m not talking about going into the field, just fixing a truck.”

Bobby put the axe in its place on the truck and walked closer to Dean.

“Then you can have your doctor tell me that. I’m not letting you come back until I know you aren’t going to just fall apart the moment we really need you.”

“Bobby-”

“You heard me boy.” Bobby said, walking past him. “Now either bring me a cup of coffee, or get the hell out of here. I got too much shit to do.”

 

***

When Dean and Ben pulled up to the park at 10:54am, Dean had to consciously tell his body to calm down. It was like a checklist he could go through; increased heart rate, sweaty palms, fluttering stomach, blood rushing in the wrong direction, even his uneven breathing. They were all present and accounted for.

Dean had begun to get used to the war his body put him through whenever he was about to see Castiel, but he was beginning to grow tired of it. Why let himself get so worked up, when there would be no resolution to his feelings?

Ben began pulling his skateboard and the picnic supplies from the trunk, but Dean remained firmly seated in the driver’s seat until his body was under control.

Dean had thought a lot about what he wanted from today, and after he was able to push away the thoughts and images that he _knew_ weren’t going to happen, Dean decided he would try and just be a friend to Castiel. Ultimately, Dean simply wanted to know him, and being his friend would accomplish that.

It would be difficult to gain Castiel’s trust though, if Dean was constantly flirting or making moon eyes at him, so Dean made three rules for himself to get him through the day, and hopefully earn Castiel’s friendship.

Rule #1: No unnecessary or prolonged physical contact.  
Rule #2: No flirting or staring.  
Rule #3: Do not initiate making plans for the future.

Dean ran through the rules a few times in his head, before finally getting out of the car and meeting Ben at the trunk.

 _Your hair is fine._ Ben signed, rolling his eyes. _You didn’t need to take an hour to fix it._

Dean scoffed and pulled the picnic basket from Ben’s hands. 

_I was not primping! I was... Talking. To myself._

Ben gave Dean a sympathetic look.

_Dad says you have a crush on your doctor and that you’re using me to get to him._

Dean’s eyes widened. 

_He said that? It’s not true buddy._

Dean didn’t like the idea of Ben thinking he was only there so Dean could see Castiel again. Dean liked hanging out with Ben, all on his own. He didn’t need an incentive to take his nephew to the park.

 _No. He told mom._ Ben shrugged, then scrunched his face together in confusion. _What does ‘pimp out’ mean?_

Dean snorted as he tried to hide his laughter, and made Ben spell out the phrase again to be sure he understood him right, before answering.

_You see your dad sign that?_

Ben nodded.

Dean rolled his eyes and shook his head.

 _Ask your dad when you get home._ Dean fussed up Ben’s hair. _I’ll set us up somewhere over in the shade, you go play on the playground or ride your skateboard._

Ben rolled his eyes back him, probably for having not gotten the answer to his question, but did as he was told. He ran off towards the playground, throwing his skateboard on the ground as he did and jumping on it to ride.

Dean repeated his three rules over and over in his mind, like a mantra, all the way to a shaded area of the park with picnic tables. He began unloading the food they had packed, but only got to the first layer of sandwiches before he heard Claire’s voice calling out to Ben from afar. 

“Ben!” Claire called to him loudly, and almost began to yell again when Ben didn’t respond, but then clamped her hand over her mouth and cringed.

Dean knew what that felt like, calling out to someone who was deaf and then realizing your mistake. He smiled and waved at her as she ran to meet Ben at the monkey bars.

Her uncle trailed after her for a moment, before veering off towards the picnic tables to meet Dean.

Castiel was in jeans and a T-shirt, which Dean liked to see. He wanted Castiel to feel comfortable. They weren’t at the hospital and despite what Castiel said about always being his doctor, Dean didn’t want him to feel like he was at work. They were going to hang out and be social. 

Totally normal with no funny business.

Dean steadied all the parts of himself that wanted to make a big deal at Castiel’s approach, and found it a lot easier to do so now that he had a firm goal in mind.

“Hello Dean.” Castiel said, lifting his hand up in greeting. Dean took it and shook Castiel’s hand once, before quickly letting go.

Rule #1.

“Hey, Doc. How’s it going?” Dean smiled, but kept it polite, purposely staying away from his most charming smile.

“Fine. Claire was anxious to get here today.” Castiel set his own bag of food on the picnic table and began pulling things out of it. The first was a container of vegetables, then a small tub of hummus.

Dean turned his nose up at them before he could stop himself, and Castiel let out a short chuckle.

“I _am_ a doctor Dean.” Castiel said, pulling out another container that looked like it contained a small salad. “I eat fairly healthy.”

“No, _I_ eat fairly healthy. You eat like a rabbit.” Dean said, holding up his sandwiches and small bowl of potato salad. “Swiss cheese, turkey instead of ham, lettuce, tomato, mustard instead of mayo.” Dean smiled with satisfaction. “Perfectly healthy.”

Castiel didn’t look convinced. 

“And the cup of mayonnaise used to make that?” He gestured towards the potato salad.

“Mayo made with olive oil.” Dean corrected. “Healthy fats, doc! It’s all the rage now.”

“Try it with avocado next time.” Castiel said, smiling down at his own bag and pulling out some napkins. “It’s a very good substitute and a much better excuse for those _healthy fats_.”

Dean smiled and nodded.

“Will do.” He pulled out a few apples, as well as the cookies Donna had baked for him last week. “Is Claire going to eat that stuff, ‘cause we’ve got extra sandwiches.”

“She’ll snack on the vegetables, but I packed her a turkey wrap just in case.”

“Smart man.” Dean looked over to the playground and found the kids upside down on the monkey bars, swinging back and forth. “Kids man, you never know what they’re going to eat or do. They change their minds so freakin’ often.”

Castiel nodded in agreement.

“Yes. I find it difficult to keep up with her sometimes.”

The men fell into silence as they finished setting up their lunch, until Castiel cleared his throat awkwardly and Dean looked up to find his doctor staring at him. He held Castiel’s gaze for a second, before looking back down at the plate he was preparing for Ben.

Rule #2.

“Dean, I wanted to tell you how sorry I was for missing your appointment.” Castiel finally said. “Dr. Masters said you were doing well though, and I reviewed your chart when I was able to.”

“It’s cool.” Dean tried to sound nonchalant, and actively attempted to forget what he learned about Castiel’s recent exchange with Dr. Masters. “How did things go with your other patient?”

Dean wasn’t expecting a real answer, so he was surprised when Castiel sighed and sat down at the picnic table.

“Not well.” Castiel said as he sliced an apple onto a paper plate. “I have a long time patient who is quickly deteriorating. Her liver shut down the day of your appointment and I needed to consult with her other doctors.”

“Other doctors?” Dean asked, “How many doctors does one person need?”

Castiel shrugged. 

“Depends on the problem. For example, I was your primary doctor because I am an Orthopedic surgeon, and most of your injuries were in my field. However, some of your other problems early on, were cared for by a consulting general physician.”

Dean nodded. “Oh, yeah. I vaguely remember another doctor at some point.”

He was so out of it at the beginning of his hospital stay, Dean barely remembered much, but he did have a memory of a very pretty black woman with unruly curls, examining him from time to time.

“Yes, well this patient has four other doctors on her case and we all have to come to an agreement on her method of care. When her liver failed, there were... Arguments.”

“Who won?” Dean asked, one eyebrow up.

“Her Oncologist and I came to an understanding that the rest of the doctors were able to get on board with.”

Dean should have known his doctor would get his way, he almost always did when Dean was his patient. 

“Oncologist. That’s cancer, right?”

Castiel nodded.

Dean thought for a moment, then asked Castiel another question.

“That day I brought you coffee. Why were you so upset that morning?”

Dean wondered if it was because of his patient with cancer, or if Castiel had a lot of cases that affected him on a personal level.

Castiel smiled softly, as if remembering something sweet, then pulled his lips into a small frown.

“Actually, it was the same case. My Osteosarcoma patient had been doing extremely well. We had strong reason to believe she was headed toward remission.” Castiel put the knife he was holding down. “That morning she went into kidney failure and then a scan showed us more tumor growth.”

“So, you were pretty upset then.” Dean said sympathetically. “That makes sense, especially if you thought she was on the upswing.”

Castiel nodded.

“She’s still alive, but it looks like it won’t be that way for much longer.” Castiel looked down at his hands. “She’s only twelve. She had plans to be a dancer.”

“I’m sorry.” Dean replied, trying his best to look as concerned as he felt. “It must be really crappy to feel something for your patients, when you know they may not make it.”

Castiel looked back up at Dean and nodded again.

“It can be trying, yes, but it’s always worth it in the end.”

“I don’t know man, getting close to someone when you know they’re probably going to die?” Dean shook his head. “I don’t think I’ve got that in me. You’re a real saint.”

Castiel’s face grew darker, almost as if the sun had stopped shining on it altogether.

“Yes, well.” He blinked several times down at the picnic then stood up. “I’ll call Ben and Claire to lunch.” 

Before Dean could say anything, Castiel was walking away and towards the playground.

 

***  
Conversation over lunch did not flow easily.

Ben and Claire signed to one another and occasionally threw food at each other, but Castiel was no longer the warm, open book he seemed to arrive as.

Dean had been encouraged when Castiel was so willing to open up to him, like he was actually making progress towards the friendship finish line, but now Dean felt like was starting from the beginning again. Castiel ate slowly and methodically, while Dean scarfed his sandwich and potato salad down.

He slowed down when he got to his apple, though; he needed something to do to occupy himself when the kids ran off again and he would be left alone with Castiel again. Dean tried to cut the silence with some small talk about the weather, and Castiel indulged him enough to reply back, but conversation stalled quickly after.

Eventually, Dean went with what he knew Castiel would be willing to talk about.

“So, uh, I was hoping I could get back to work next week.” Dean said, a bigger than necessary bite of apple in his mouth.

Castiel jerked his head up to look at him from across the table.

“You can’t be serious.” Castiel said, his fork halfway to his mouth. “Dean, you’re still using your cane, you can’t-”

“I’m not talking about running into burning buildings, Doc, just helping out around the garage. Maybe work on a truck. Nothing fancy or too strenuous.”

Castiel didn’t look comfortable with his request.

“I think it’s too soon. If you push yourself too fast, your healing will stall.” His salad filled fork finally made it to his mouth, and Castiel chewed deliberately. “I talk with Jo regularly and she says you’re making excellent progress, but that doesn’t-”

“Excellent? She said I was making _excellent_ progress?” Dean snickered and took another bite of his apple, a smug look on his face as he chewed. He was going to make sure he mentioned that to her the next time her saw her.

“Yes, that’s what she said.” Castiel said back, eyes narrowed. “Is that unusual?”

“Nah,” Dean shook his head and smiled cheekily. “It’s just Jo isn’t quick with the compliments usually. I want to be sure I’ve got my facts straight before I rub it in her face.”

Castiel looked down at his lunch before replying.

“Charlie says she and Jo are having dinner this weekend.” Castiel said awkwardly, stuffing a bite of food in his mouth at rapid speed.

“Yeah, I know.” Dean replied. He wasn’t sure why his friend’s date was getting brought up, but he was grateful that the conversation was still flowing. “I’m going to make some risotto and bring it over for her. The woman is helpless in the kitchen.”

“You cook?” Castiel said, head cocked to the side slightly. 

Dean nodded. “Yeah, not everything, but I’ve got a good collection of things I do well. Risotto being one of them.”

“I didn’t realize you were so... Versatile.” Castiel said, then Dean saw a faint blush color his doctors cheeks.

Despite how badly he wanted to capitalize on the phrasing and make a dirty joke, Dean remembered his rules and bit his tongue.

“Yeah, that’s another thing I could do at the firehouse that would have nothing to do with over exerting myself.” Dean teased, putting an innocent look on his face when Castiel glared at him.

“What are you asking of me Dean?” Castiel finally said after a sigh. “You obviously aren’t going to listen to reason.”

“Bobby won’t let me come back to work, even in the smallest of capacities, without the go ahead from you.” Dean painted on a wide grin. “I need a doctor’s note.”

Castiel continued to glare.

“I can’t sign off on you going back to work, unless I know exactly what it is you’ll be doing. Dean, you can’t heal properly if you’re-”

“I can’t heal properly if I’m going insane with boredom either.” Dean interrupted. “If I don’t get out of the house soon, I’m going to start making very reckless decisions.”

Castiel swallowed hard. Dean could tell because of the way his Adam’s apple bobbed in this throat. Dean looked away quickly.

“Very well.” Castiel finally said, when Ben and Claire ran off to play again. “I’ll write something for you, but you have to promise to take it easy and rest when you are not working.”

Dean raised his right hand as if he were giving an oath.

“On my honor as a crippled firefighter.”

“You’re not _crippled_ Dean. You’re injured.” Castiel corrected. “I have some stationary in my car, just remind me before we leave and I’ll write your note.”

Dean wanted to reach across the table and kiss him.

Of course, he couldn’t do that, because it would break a rule he hadn’t even set for himself yet.

Rule #4. Don’t maul Castiel’s face with your lips.

Instead, Dean just smiled and thanked his doctor.

“You’re welcome.” Castiel said, “Don’t make me regret it.”

“I promise.” Dean said. “I won’t run into any burning building or save any kittens until you give me the go ahead.”

Castiel made a face and murmured something unintelligible as he stood up and began cleaning the table off.

“Hmm? What’d you say?” Dean asked, but Castiel shook his head and continued to clean, not bothering to look back at him.

Dean knew he was crazy, he knew his mind was probably playing tricks on him, be he could have sworn he heard his doctor say something like,

_“You’ll be waiting awhile then.”_

He shook it off though, because not only did it not make any sense, but it also didn’t sound like Castiel. He wouldn’t purposely keep Dean from working, that would be unethical.

And if Dean was sure of anything, it was of Castiel’s iron will to play by the rules.

 

***

When it was time to get the kids back to their parents, Castiel and Dean walked side by side back to their cars as Ben and Claire trailed behind. Claire was teaching Ben how to do a trick on his skateboard, while Ben clapped for her. 

“I was thinking,” Castiel said. “You mentioned being stir crazy and I know as a firefighter you are used to working out, that you might be interested in taking up swimming this summer.”

Dean looked over to his doctor with a frown on his face.

“Swimming? I don’t know Doc, I’m used to running marathons and sweating buckets while powerlifting, I don’t think swimming laps with the grandmas is going to cut it.”

Castiel laughed and warmth spread through Dean’s chest.

“Well, you can’t exactly do any of those things, and swimming is much better workout than you think. I happen to do it regularly before or after some of my shifts. I think it would be good for you.”

Dean _was_ feeling jittery without any way to exercise or physically release energy, and with summer coming he would be spending a lot of time at his apartment’s pool anyway. He thought maybe it wasn’t such a bad idea.

“Okay, thanks. I’ll keep that in mind.”

“Great.” Castiel said back, smiling thinly.

When they made it back to their cars, Ben and Claire said goodbye with a hug and Dean and Castiel shook hands.

“Thank you for inviting us.” Claire said to Dean, trying to sign the words as she spoke. Ben helped her.

“Of course.” Dean signed as he spoke. “We’ll have to-”

He cut himself off before finishing.

Rule #3. 

He wasn’t going to force another outing on Castiel, if he didn’t want to see him again outside the hospital. 

Dean covered his mistake with a cough and then ushered Ben to the back door and opened it for him.

“You guys enjoy the rest of your Saturday.” Dean said as cheerily as he could manage. 

He really wanted Castiel to say something, _anything_ that gave Dean a sign that Castiel enjoyed himself and wanted to see Dean again.

“You too, Dean.” Castiel said, turning towards his own car, then he quickly spun back around.

“Oh, your note!” 

Dean almost jumped at the chance to prolong their visit.

He turned back towards the doctor’s car and waited as Castiel settled Claire inside first, then went about writing Dean’s note for Bobby.

It was less than a minute before Castiel emerged again.

Dean met him between their cars and tried very hard not to think about their close proximity.

“Here you are.” Castiel said, holding out the note. Before Dean could grab it though, Castiel pulled it back. “This says minimal impact, minimum effort. You do know what that means, yes?”

Dean smirked as he rolled his eyes.

“I think I can manage, Doc. Thanks.” Dean reached out carelessly for the note, causing his fingers to land over Castiel’s. His instinct was to pull back, because the touch caused a fire to erupt up Dean’s arm, but Dean held steady.

Castiel’s eyes met his and then there was a moment where Dean forgot his rules.

It was just a moment, not even a full five seconds, but Dean felt something pass between them. It was similar to what they shared when Dean had brought Castiel coffee, but stronger somehow. Maybe because their skin was touching, and Dean thought he could feel his doctor’s pulse racing through his fingertips. Or, maybe, because they weren’t in the hospital, and to an outside viewer they could have been on a date. The reason wasn’t really important though, because Dean knew he wasn’t supposed to indulge moments like these anymore. 

Dean pulled the note out of Castiel’s hand and let his doctor’s fingers slip away.

“Goodbye Dean.” Castiel said, and then, dashing all hope that there would be a repeat in their day’s activities, Castiel added, “I’ll see you for your final appointment in a few months.”

Dean swallowed back his disappointment and smiled.

“Yeah, see you then Doc.”


	11. Chapter 11

Dean arrived at Charlie’s house two hours before Jo was supposed to arrive. With him he brought all the ingredients for the risotto he planned to prepare, as well as some leafy stuff and goat cheese Eileen suggested to go with it. His sister-in-law described the stringy lettuce as “peppery”, but Dean didn’t really care. The salad part of the meal was never something he paid much attention to.

When Charlie answered the door, she had eyeliner on only one eye, two different shoes on her feet, and terrified look on her face.

“I can’t do this.” 

Dean smiled sympathetically and pulled her into a one arm hug. He had his shopping in one hand, but his other was free since he left his cane in the car. Charlie’s apartment was on the ground floor and there weren’t any stairs to climb. He could sit when he needed to once he was inside.

“Yes, you can. It’s not like you’ve never done this before.” Dean let her go and walked into the apartment. “You two were at it like bunnies for months before she moved in, right? Then you actually lived together for a few months.”

“Yeah, but now things are _different_.” Charlie complained, her voice hitching slightly.

Dean walked towards the small kitchen and began unpacking his shopping bag. 

“What’s so different?”

“Her. Me. This whole... thing we got going on.” Charlie gestured towards her mismatched shoes. “Which one?”

Dean gave Charlie an appraising look. She was wearing soft green jeans and a yellow and red t-shirt with _Skyrim_ scrawled across it. Her shoe choices were a brown boot and a flat sandal with a small yellow bow on it. 

“Go with the sandal,” Dean said. “It’s more casual.”

Charlie nodded went back further into the apartment, presumably to change her shoe.

Dean called back to her. 

“You may want to do something about your other eye too.”

He heard Charlie curse from her bedroom.

“Calm down,” Dean chuckled softly as he began mincing an onion. “She’s head over heels for you; you know that. You guys just need to figure out your shit.”

Charlie appeared around the corner with a mirror and an eyeliner pencil in her hand. 

“Yeah well, she’s not the one who... You know.” She looked down into the mirror and finished a light brown line on her top lid. It was very subtle and soft. “I feel like an idiot for pushing her away like that, it’s just, I don’t really know how to do this.”

“Do what?”

“Open up to people. Let people in.” Charlie looked sad when she turned away and went back to her room. She continued to talk from her bedroom down the hall. “I mean, I make friends faster than most people digest food, but the romance thing is kind of a blind spot.”

“How did you get as far as you did with Jo then?” Dean asked, measuring out the rice and pouring it into a sauté pan with a cup of chicken broth. “I mean, if you’re so anti-relationshipy, how did you guys end up living together?”

“To be honest,” Charlie said, returning from her room again. “I didn’t even know she had moved in. I mean, she was just here all the time and then one day I began noticing her stuff collecting around the apartment. It started out small, a toothbrush or change of clothes. Then I started finding her books on the nightstand and her sheets were on my bed. One day I looked around, and realized she had basically moved everything of hers into my apartment, little by little, without me even noticing.”

Dean’s eyes were as wide as his smile.

“That’s insanity, how could you not have noticed? She never said anything to you about it? She just moved in?”

“Well, that’s the thing.” Charlie said, pulling the stringy lettuce out of its container and washing it. “Apparently we had talked about it on a night I was really drunk, and I didn’t remember a thing. So, when I realized what had happened, I sort of freaked out.”

“Yeah, I’d say refusing to laundry and letting your clothes pile up all over the house is one version of freaking out.”

Charlie looked down guiltily.

“I also never did the dishes or cleaned the bathroom.”

“Dude, that’s low.” Dean said, still smiling. “What did you think would happen?”

“I don’t know!” Charlie threw her hands up. “It was all just so fast and I freaked. Jo is great, I-I really... She’s great. I just don’t do well with the whole fluff, butterflies and rainbows part of the relationship. You know? And she isn’t really mushy or anything but having her be there all the time, I felt all this pressure.”

“To do what?” 

“I don’t know. To be someone I’m not?” Charlie sighed. “I just wanted to take a step back.”

“So you pushed her away?”

“I know, it’s dumb.” Charlie said quietly, then smiled up at Dean. “I didn’t have you to talk to then.”

“You had Jo.” Dean said with an eyebrow raised. “I bet if you had told her-”

“I know, I know.” Charlie replied, finishing her work with “peppery” lettuce. “I tried a couple times, but I eventually just waited for her to give up on me.”

“You would have rather lost her, than be honest about how you felt?” Dean stirred the rice in the pan and added the next cup of broth.

“At the time, yeah. With her here, it was too hard to think about what I really wanted. Once she was gone, I realized what a fuck-up I was.”

“I get that.” Dean nodded. “Absence makes the heart grow fonder.”

“That,” Charlie said with a shrug. “And no one else compares to Jo in the bedroom.”

Dean’s eyebrows shot up and pushed away the incoming flood of images.

“Whoa, whoa. I’d rather not think about you two like that.” 

Dean had begun to think of both Charlie and Jo as his little sisters. Charlie being the one he always wanted, and Jo being the one he never knew he wanted. 

Charlie laughed. 

“Sorry. The girls got mad skills.”

Dean put his hand up to stop her. 

“Alright, alright. I get it.” Dean sighed and added some more broth. “So, what made you go for it tonight? Besides Jo’s _skills_.”

“I miss her so damn much I can’t think about anything else,” Charlie said. She opened the package of goat cheese and began to slice it. “I was an idiot, and I am prepared to say it over and over again until she takes me back.”

“Sounds like a good plan.” Dean said, nodding in approval. “You made a good choice in having me cook you dinner too. That alone will be enough for her to take you back.”

“Oh yeah?” Charlie nudged him with her shoulder. “Maybe when you’re done here you can go to Dr. Novak’s house and make him some risotto.”

“Very funny.” Dean felt a small twist in his stomach at the mention of Castiel, but forced a blank expression to his face. “Am I ever going to live down the Batman thing?”

“Not if I can help it.” Charlie said cheerfully. 

Once Charlie finished making the salad and she portioned it into two bowls, Charlie placed them in the fridge, then took a seat on the counter next to the stove. 

“So, you didn’t tell me anything about your little date on Saturday. Spill.”

Dean sighed and rolled his eyes at his friend.

“That’s because there is nothing to say. It wasn’t a date and nothing happened.”

Charlie gave him a disbelieving look.

“Oh come on. You two are obviously attracted to each other. There is something there, I know it.”

Dean shook his head and rolled his eyes again.

“Okay, so he’s attracted to me. That’s not exactly earth shattering news Charlie.”

“Oh, you’re so used to being the object of everybody’s affection, huh?”

“No, it’s just- just because he likes the way I look in a pair of jeans, doesn’t mean he likes me. Obviously he doesn’t think I got the whole package, if you know what I mean.”

Charlie scrunched her nose in confusion and gestured towards Dean’s groin.

Dean scowled.

“Not that package, Charlie.”

“Oh.” Charlie shrugged. “Well, you guys get along right? Easy conversation and all that?”

“Yeah.” Dean nodded. “We get along fine.”

Understatement.

“Okay so-”

“So, nothing Charlie.” Dean put down the ladle and looked at his friend head on. “Castiel and me aren’t going to be anything. He has made himself clear there. I’m not going to make an ass out myself.”

There was a look in Charlie’s eye that Dean couldn’t quite pinpoint, but he thought it most resembled pity.

“It’s fine,” Dean said, turning away. “I barely know the guy. It’s not a big deal. I mean, I would like to get to know him better, be his friend maybe, but I can’t force someone to be my friend either.”

“Why not? I forced you to be my friend.” Charlie said, fluttering her eyelashes slightly. 

“That’s different, “ Dean said. “You didn’t spend weeks flirting with me when you were under the influence. I think the friendship thing may be tainted.”

Charlie shook her head. 

“I don’t think so. Just don’t flirt, keep it friendly and casual.” 

“I’m not going to even see him again until my next appointment, which is like six months away. I think it’s fair to say that ship has sailed too.”

“The friendship, ship?” Charlie said with a wide smile.

“Dork.” Dean chuckled.

“You never know Dean, I mean you’ll probably see him at the hospital when you come to have lunch with me, and he lives here in town. You could run into him anywhere.”

“I haven’t before.” Dean said, sighing. “No reason to think I will now.”

“You didn’t know him before. Who knows how often you guys have crossed paths. I mean, there is only one Target and two Starbucks in town. Lawrence isn’t that big.”

Dean poured some more broth onto the rice and added the minced onions and garlic. He didn’t love their topic of conversation and wanted out of it. He had thought a lot, over the past week, about his non-relationship with his doctor and the little crush he had begun to pull himself out of. Dean knew the draw to Castiel was intense and something he hadn’t really felt before, but that didn’t change his situation. If he saw him around town, or bumped into him at the hospital, Dean would be happy to talk and catch up with the guy, but he couldn’t dwell on something that was out of his control. It was time to start moving on.

“I really don’t want to talk about this anymore, Charlie.” Dean said. “Dr. Novak isn’t interested, and I’m not interested in trying to convince him otherwise. Let’s just let it go.”

He didn’t have the nerve to look Charlie in the eye. When she didn’t say anything for a few moments, Dean was sure she would press him further, but when she finally spoke Dean was reminded of why he liked her so much.

“So, should I try and seduce Jo before, or after dinner?”

 

***

Dean spent the next day working on one of the fire truck engines for Bobby, and receiving text message updates from Charlie about what her and Jo had gotten up to the night before. He was happy for them, since Jo had agreed to give Charlie another chance, but Dean began to squint at his text messages as they came in, after the first one included graphic details about the way Jo and Charlie had spent their morning.

It took him three hours to diagnose and then repair the issue with the engine, and when he was done Dean had lunch with the guys in the firehouse kitchen. Ash made Sloppy Joes, and Dean scarfed down two before heading out. 

Ben’s birthday was a few weeks away, and Dean wanted to browse the local bookstore for a while to find something he knew Ben would like. When he got there, Dean went straight to the children’s section and started pulling books from the display cases and reading through them. Ben loved dragons, trains, and pirates, so Dean felt confident he’d be able to find a few books that Ben would love.

He was mid dragon fight when a familiar voice pulled his attention away from the book he had in his hands. 

“Can I, please? I have the second one, but I really want the third too!” 

Dean looked around the display case to find Claire Novak pulling the arm of her uncle. He was giving her a stern look, but Dean could see a smile underneath.

“Claire, you’ve already got three books in your basket. You’ll need to choose between them.” The voice was all wrong, lighter, less soul crushing. 

Not Castiel then, Castiel’s twin brother.

“Alright, Daddy.” Claire said back, turning to put one of her books back but catching Dean’s eye as she did.

“Dean!” Claire called, even though Dean tried very hard to hide behind the glass case. “Daddy, that’s Ben’s uncle!” 

Claire pulled her father towards Dean, and Dean made an awkward wave at the pair before putting the book in his hands back on the shelf.

“Hey Claire, how’s it going?”

“Good!” Claire said excitedly. “This is my daddy, he looks just like Uncle Cas.”

Claire’s father put out his hand, and Dean shook it.

“Jimmy Novak, nice to meet you Dean.” Jimmy smiled effortlessly and it calmed Dean down. It wasn’t like when Dean was with Castiel, he didn’t feel like he had falling anvils in his stomach. Despite their identical appearance, it was immediately apparent how much more open Jimmy was than Castiel. “Claire’s always talking about Ben.”

“Yeah, Ben’s a fan of Claire too.” Dean nodded and looked down at Claire. “I know he is really excited that you’ll be at his party in a few weeks.”

“Me too! I’m going to get him the best present ever.” Claire said, she held up her basket of books for Dean to see. “Wanna see what I’m getting for me?”

“Sure.” Dean said, awkwardly crouching down. He had his cane with him, since he knew he would have to stand for awhile while he shopped, so he used it to help steady him. “What’d you get?”

Claire began describing her books to Dean, and Dean listened attentively, only occasionally looking up to catch Jimmy’s eye. He was watching Dean carefully. There was no judgment or apprehension in his eyes, but Dean definitely felt like he was being appraised. When Claire was finished, Dean gave her a high five and stood back up.

“Those’ll be a lot of fun to read.” Dean said with a smile. “I bet your mom and dad will enjoy them too.”

“Well,” Claire said, “This one is for Uncle Cas to read to me. He likes bees the best.”

She held up the book about the little boy and his apiary. 

“Bee’s huh?” Dean smiled, probably letting too much affection into it and shifted his gaze to Jimmy. “I like bees.”

He felt like an idiot, but Jimmy smiled kindly.

“Yes, Castiel is prone to steering dinner conversation towards the African Bee crisis lately.”

Dean nodded, even though he hadn’t a clue what Castiel’s brother was talking about.

“Right. Bad stuff that... African Bee... Crisis.”

There was no denying it now, Dean was definitely an idiot.

Jimmy laughed, no malice behind it. He gave Dean a sympathetic look, which made Dean feel like Jimmy knew a little more about his situation with Castiel than Dean would like.

“Well, we better-” Jimmy began, but was cut off by the approach of a shorter man with nearly shoulder length hair. 

“They call that an erotica section?” The man said, rolling his eyes and gesturing behind him with his thumb. “My bathroom has more material than that.”

Dean couldn’t help but laugh, but he stifled it when Jimmy glared at the man.

“You do realize my seven year old can hear you, yes?”

The shorter man looked down at Claire and raised his eyebrows.

“What’s our rule, Claire bear?”

Claire beamed up at him.

“Don’t repeat anything Uncle Gabriel says, but if I do, tell people I learned it from my Uncle Cas.”

The shorter man gave her wink and thumbs up, but Jimmy sighed and shook his head.

“Dean, this is my older brother Gabriel.” 

Gabriel started at Jimmy’s words, and furrowed his brow at Dean as he looked at him.

“Dean?” He looked at Jimmy, who gave his brother a scalding look. “ _Dean,_ Dean?”

“Gabriel, don’t.” Jimmy interrupted. “Excuse him, he’s a bit of... Well, he’s an ass.”

“Hey!” Gabriel said, hands raised. “Little ears, brother.”

Jimmy rolled his eyes, but smiled at Dean politely. 

“We should really get going. It was nice to meet you Dean. We’ll see you at Ben’s party in a few weeks.” The forced goodbye was obvious, but Jimmy’s delivery was peaceful and kind. 

“Sure, yeah. Nice to meet you too.” Dean gave Claire a little wave as she turned with her father, but his eyes flicked to Gabriel and stayed there. The shorter man was looking at him strangely and didn’t look like he intended to follow his little brother towards the check-out counter.

He didn’t say anything, but there was a mischievous look in his eyes that Dean couldn’t ignore. That, combined with his reaction when Jimmy told him who Dean was, made Dean feel like Castiel had been talking about him. Which was not only embarrassing, but confusing as well. What had Castiel said to his brothers about Dean? Had he complained about the annoying patient that had kept flirting with him or the forced play date that he hadn’t wanted to go on?

Either way, Dean didn’t like the way Gabriel was looking at him.

“Gabriel.” Jimmy called, already out of the children’s section. There was slight tension in Jimmy’s frame that wasn’t there before, which put Dean on edge. Why was Castiel’s older brother just staring at him like that?

Finally, right before Dean planned to begin backing away slowly with his hands in the air, Gabriel mischievous smile turned wicked. When he turned away a second later, Gabriel called to Dean over his shoulder.

“Be seeing you, Dean-O.”


	12. Chapter 12

**Notes for the Chapter:**

> Sorry for the wait on this one. I typically go through a period of writing three or four chapters at once, then take a break for a while to work on something else before going back. I'll try to be a bit more consistent! Writing today, so hopefully you won't have to wait too long for the next chapters!

Dean let out a satisfied sigh. The beer was cold down his throat and the rock music the bar had playing was more relaxing to him than a back massage.

“I’ve missed this.” Dean said, taking another sip then clinking his beer bottle against his brother’s. “Havin’ a drink at the bar with my brother. Watching the game. Listening to some classics. It’s good to be back.”

Sam let out a soft laugh and nodded.

“I’m glad you’re back too, Dean. Getting a drink with my law firm friends isn’t even remotely the same.”

“That’s because they drink gin and tonics and talk about Habeas Corpus the whole time.” Dean joked. “You have way more fun with me.”

“Yeah, so I can listen to you rattle on about carburetors and the musical genius of one Angus Young.”

“Hey,” Dean scoffed. “Don’t go knocking Angus Sam. That ain’t right.”

Sam laughed and took another sip of his beer.

“No, but really. It’s good to have you out again Dean. I know you were going crazy, so it pretty great to be able to get out like we used to.”

Dean nodded his enthusiasm. “You have no idea Sammy.”

Dean really needed to cut loose and relax. He spent the entire day at the garage working on a few engines and helping Bobby inventory extra truck parts. Plus, Charlie’s had been wrapped up in Jo the last week and not around much. Dean was really happy to have his brother beside him, but he also had plans to end the night with someone else.

He wasn’t usually the love ‘em and leave ‘em type, at least not anymore, but Dean needed to blow off some steam and he was hoping he could find someone willing to help him do that. He wasn’t thinking about his doctor as often as before, even though the thing with Castiel’s brothers was still on his mind, and Dean felt like hooking up with someone else might be the best cure to the last shreds of his crush. 

“I know that look Dean.” Sam said with a smirk. “Don’t do anything stupid.”

Dean gave him an innocent look that said, _Who, me?_.

Sam rolled his eyes, but said nothing more about it.

When a pool table opened, Dean and Sam claimed it and began to play a game. Dean was really rusty, but Sam hadn’t played in a while either. They were pretty evenly matched. That is, until Dean took a couple of extra shots and began to miss his balls more often.

When a third was brought to him by a waitress, Dean shook his head in confusion.

“I may be a little drunk, but I know I didn’t order that.” He smiled at the waitress. 

“No, you didn’t.” The waitress smiled back, then leaned to side and gestured towards the bar. “He did.” 

Dean followed the waitress’s gaze to a man sitting at the bar. He had a beard and small frame, kind eyes and a Strawberry Daiquiri in front of him. He smiled shyly at Dean. 

At first, Dean didn’t know how he was going to react. He came to the bar to get some ass. Besides hanging with his brother, the whole point of being there was to get off with someone who wasn’t his doctor, and get Castiel out of his head for good. At the same time though, Dean didn’t want to be a dick. The guy looked nice and Dean didn’t want to screw him over. He was getting to be a little too old for that game.

The man gave Dean a little wave, then looked down nervously at his drink. Dean realized he hadn’t reacted yet, and looked to Sam for some help. Sam was smirking and coating the tip of his pool cue in chalk rather suggestively. Dean rolled his eyes at his brother, but then decided it would be rude not to at least thank the man for the shot. 

He took the shot from the waitress and walked over to the bar with it. In his inebriation, Dean’s limp was more pronounced, but he hoped it looked kind of sexy.

“Hey, man.” Dean said as casually as he could as he approached the man at the bar. He placed the shot down next to him. “Thanks for this. Want to take one together?”

The man smiled brightly up at Dean and nodded. “Sure, that’d be great.” 

Dean motioned for the bartender to get him another shot.

“Cool.” Dean stuck out his hand and offered it to the man. “I’m Dean.”

The man slipped his hand into Dean’s. He had soft hands, Dean liked that. 

“I’m Aaron.”

“Nice to meet you, Aaron,” Dean said in his most charming voice. The bartender brought him the extra shot and Dean passed it to Aaron. “Bottoms up.”

Aaron smiled shyly again, but took the shot Dean offered him and tipped it back when Dean did. They both grimaced as the whiskey burned its way down their throats, but Dean laughed at he slammed the shot glass back down on the bar.

“Thanks, Aaron,” Dean said. “Just what I needed.”

“I saw you taking a couple earlier. I’m glad you came over to take one with me.” Aaron’s eyelashes fluttered a bit, and Dean felt his stomach turn nervously. Aaron was definitely hitting on him, and Dean could easily flirt back, but he wanted to make sure they were on the same page before he made a move.

“Yeah, thought you looked lonely.” Dean said casually, taking the seat next to Aaron at the bar. He glanced at his brother back at the pool table. He had his hands up in a question, a question Dean knew sounded like, _“Dude we were in the middle of a game. Are you serious?”_

Dean flicked him off subtly behind his back and returned his attention to Aaron. 

“So, Aaron,” Dean started. “I haven’t seen you around before. You come in here often?” 

It was the oldest line in the book, but Dean liked a classic.

Aaron chuckled softly and shook his head.

“No, I uh, I just got out of a relationship. Not usually the bar type, I guess.”

“But tonight, you decided to just go for it?” Dean asked, boldly placing his hand on the bar just close enough to graze Aaron’s. He was drunk and in desperate need of something to rid him of thoughts of Castiel and his stupid eyes and perfect mouth. He just needed to make sure Aaron was in the same headspace as he was. The fact that he had just gotten out of a relationship was a very good sign, since it was unlikely Aaron was looking for anything serious again so soon.  
Aaron looked down at Dean’s hand and Dean watched as a visible shudder ran through him. He definitely affected the other man, a fact Dean was very pleased to see.

“Well, uh, yeah. I guess.” Aaron said back nervously, shifting his pinky finger slightly so it grazed the side of Dean’s hand. “What about you? Do you come here a lot?”

“Not recently,” Dean replied back, pulling his lips into a sexy, lopsided grin. “I got injured jumping out of a burning building.”

Aaron’s eyebrows rose. “You’re a firefighter?”

Dean nodded and smiled again. Aaron smiled back, obviously even more attracted to Dean now that he knew his profession. That was the way _most_ people reacted to Dean’s job. They thought it was hot, they thought _Dean_ was hot. Except, some people seemed to be immune to Dean’s firefighter charm. And by some people, Dean means _one_ person.

He caught himself right before his mind began supplying images of his doctor, and boldly put his hand on Aaron’s thigh.

“Listen,” Dean said quietly. “This is my first night out in a long time. I find you very attractive, but I am not in a place right now where I’d ask for your number. I figure, since you’ve just gotten out of a relationship, we are probably on the same page there. Am I right?” 

Aaron’s eyes were wide, and Dean thought maybe he had spoken a little too soon, but then Aaron was nodding and placing his hand over Dean’s. He pushed it, so that Dean’s hand ascended up Aaron’s thigh.

“Definitely on the same page.” Aaron said, a little breathless. “My place is-”

“I’m going to go to the bathroom,” Dean interrupted, leaning forward and squeezing Aaron’s thigh. “Feel free to join me in a minute.”

Aaron’s eyes widened and he shifted in his seat. It only took a quick glimpse to see that the man was already half hard in his pants. It felt good to know that Dean could still affect someone like that. He was beginning to think of himself as some sort of leper.

Dean didn’t wait for Aaron to answer. He winked and then stood up and turned towards the bathroom.

Dean purposely avoided looking at Sam, he didn’t want his brother’s disapproving glare anywhere near what was about to be a much needed release. 

The bathrooms were three individual rooms, separated from the rest of the bar by two series of darkened hallways. If he were someone else, Dean would worry about going back to the bathroom in this bar by himself. It felt like the kind of place where no one would hear you scream.

He pushed open the door of the first bathroom and stepped inside. The room was small, just enough room for a toilet, sink, and a small cabinet that probably held extra toilet paper and air freshener. The paint was peeling and there was a disinfectant smell in the air, but the atmosphere was the least of Dean’s worries. 

He was about to have casual sex with a stranger and Dean didn’t love himself for it. He needed it, _God_ did he need it, but Dean knew it wasn’t the best use of his time. Still, Dean was committed to getting Castiel out of his head for good, and he hoped getting sweaty with someone else would do the trick.

Not two minutes after Dean went into the bathroom, the doorknob began to twist uncertainly. A part of him wanted Aaron to change his mind, but a much larger part of him, the part that was currently growing hard in his pants, really hoped Aaron was good with those soft hands of his. 

When the door opened and Aaron stepped inside with a nervous smile, Dean found out.

 

***

Ten minutes and forty seconds later, Dean was alone in the bathroom again. It had been quick and dirty, not even a kiss shared between them, but Dean was left satisfied. Aaron was good with his hands, and Dean was confident Aaron had enjoyed his services as well. 

Aaron left the bathroom first, presumably high-tailing out of the bar right afterwards. 

When Dean made it back to the bar, Sam was throwing darts with a few of the regulars. Dean beelined for his abandoned and luke warm beer, avoiding Sam’s hard gaze. He ordered another shot, and downed it just as Sam reached the bar.

“Did you seriously just-” Sam began to accuse, both amusement and disappointment lacing through his words.

“Shut up.” Dean cut him off, chugging the last of his beer and grimacing.

“You are such a dick, Dean.” Sam shook his head, but there was a slight smile on his face.

“No, I just _got_ some dick.” Dean countered, plastering on a cheeky smile of his own.

“Yeah, and just left me-”

“Oh come on, Sammy,” Dean rolled his eyes. “You’re a big boy and I needed that. Alright? Let’s just drop it.”

Sam scowled.

“I know what you’re doing.”

“Sam.” Dean warned, but Sam ignored him.

“You think that if you start up with your bed hopping again, maybe your crush will just get screwed out of you.”

“That’s the stupidest- how could you even- what are you even-” Dean stammered, head growing more clouded with alcohol. “I don’t know what you’re talking about.”

Sam sighed and placed his hand on Dean’s shoulder.

“I get it man, I really do,” Sam said kindly. “But do you really want to fall back into that pattern? A different person every night?”

Dean finally looked at his brother and rolled his eyes when he realized Sam was right.

He didn’t want that at all. 

“All right, All right.” Dean said, nodding. “You’ve made your point.” 

He raised a hand to the bartender to get another shot.

“Don’t you think you’ve had-”

“Hush.” Dean said, pointing at his brother. “You’re driving and I’ve got a doctor to forget. Leave me alone.”

Dean ordered another shot before the one his hand was holding made it to his mouth.

 

***

Dean was in agony. 

Hangovers were never fun, but hangovers in your thirties when you haven’t drunk alcohol excessively in months, _and_ you’re on pain killers, is Dean’s idea of hell.

He woke up Sunday morning on the floor in his living room. He was fully clothed and lying on his stomach, the carpet scratched the side of his face as he came out of his blackout. Dean struggled to his back, then sat up slowly, trying his best to keep his brain inside his skull, since it felt like it was trying to leak out of his ears. 

“Jesus mother fuck.” Dean groaned as he buried his head in his hands. “Why, Dean. Why do this?”

When he was done chastising himself, Dean made it to his feet on his third attempt, and headed straight for the bathroom. He needed to clear out his body and he needed to do it now. When he was finished, Dean practically crawled into his bathtub and turned on the shower. He laid down in the tub in a fetal position until he was sure he wasn’t going to die immediately upon standing up. 

Twenty minutes later, Dean emerged from the shower, not bothering to get dressed, and poured himself an industrial sized glass of water. He drank it slowly enough to be sure he wouldn’t throw it up, but he was desperate to rehydrate. Once his third glass of water was filled, Dean made his way to his couch and sunk down onto it. He would have to get back up to get some sort of breakfast, but his legs hurt and his head was on fire and Dean just needed to sit for a few minutes.

As soon as he was seated though, Dean saw his cell phone sitting in the middle of the living room floor, the notification light blinking rapidly. 

New text message.

Dean groaned at having to move again, but decided he probably needed to check in with Sam and thank him for dealing with his shit the night before. Dean was really going to have to make it up to him. Dean crawled on his hands and knees to get to his phone then laid down in the middle of the floor with his phone held above his face.

He had five new text messages and a missed call.

The first text messages were from Sam, the first reminding him to drink water and the second asking Dean to call Sam in the morning if he needed anything. Dean was going to have to buy his brother dinner.

The other text messages were not from Sam. 

 

 _ **Castiel:**_ Dean?  
_**Castiel:**_ Take two Advil and drink some water. Have a light beer in the morning and don’t take your pain medication tomorrow.  
_**Castiel:**_ Sleep well, Dean.

Dean’s heart started to pound in his chest, the phone nearly dropping out of his hands and falling onto his face. Dean sat up with a start as soon as he began to understand the full extent of what must have happened. He scrolled up on his phone until he found the beginning of the text conversation. His stomach turned and he had to put his hand over his mouth to keep himself from vomiting again.

 ** _Dean:_** Goo d evning dr  
**_Dean:_** : I seeem 2 b in need of ur servicrs

 _ **Castiel:**_ Dean, are you alright?

 ** _Dean:_** nope npke noep  
**_Dean:_** did a but of drking 2nite

 _ **Castiel:**_ Obviously. Is Sam with you? 

**_Dean:_** was. left. allll alon now

 _ **Castiel:**_ Did you take any of your pain medication tonight?  
**_Dean:_** no. i no better  
**_Dean:_** Hey doc

 _ **Castiel:**_ Yes, Dean?

 ** _Dean:_** I like bees

 _ **Castiel:**_ Bees?

 ** _Dean:_** I lke em  
**_Dean:_** Theyr cute wuth thr lil butts and yello stipes

 _ **Castiel:**_ You should go to bed, Dean.

 ** _Dean:_** u dont want 2 tlk beec risis wth me?

 _ **Castiel:**_ What do you want to talk about?

 ** _Dean:_** ones from africa r in trofble  
**_Dean:_** mak honey but pooh steals it

 _ **Castiel:**_ Winnie the Pooh steals the honey from the African honey bees? That is the world crisis? 

**_Dean:_** Whht else culd it be  
**_Dean:_** Rabbut is gunna b pizzed

 _ **Castiel:**_ I think I’d pay a large sum of money to see you read these texts in the morning.

 ** _Dean:_** Cme ovr then  
**_Dean:_** no dont do that

 _ **Castiel:**_ Why not?

 ** _Dean:_** ur my doc my friend doc  
**_Dean:_** doctr fiend  
**_Dean:_** ur my friend?

 _ **Castiel:**_ Yes, Dean. I am your friend.

 ** _Dean:_** Goodf  
**_Dean:_** I wany 2 b ur friend

 _ **Castiel:**_ Well, as your friend, I suggest you get some sleep now. Drink some water before you go to bed, okay?

 _ **Castiel:**_ Dean?

 _ **Castiel:**_ Take two advil and drink some water. Have a light beer in the morning and don’t take your pain medication tomorrow.

 _ **Castiel:**_ Sleep well, Dean.

 

Dean stared at his phone for a full minute without blinking. His eyes burned and his head was on fire, but nothing compared to the sheer iron will of his embarrassment. He was an absolute idiot, but Castiel didn’t seem to mind. In fact, he called Dean his friend and didn’t just ignore Dean’s text messages. Castiel responded at three in the morning to Dean’s drunken text messages. That’s definitely something only a friend would do. 

Dean still felt like an idiot, but he also felt a little encouraged.

That was until he looked at his call list and saw that he had first called Castiel at three in the morning. 

Dean’s heart jumped in his throat, because he didn’t remember having any sort of conversation. The call lasted over a minute, which would mean that Dean probably left a voicemail. If Castiel had answered the phone, Dean wouldn’t have sent the first text message. 

What the hell did he say on that voicemail?

Dean went back to his call list. The missed call was Sam this morning before Dean woke up. Dean really should call him back, apologize, and thank Sam for getting him home last night, but first he wanted to run damage control with Castiel.

 ** _Dean:_** Hey, man. I’m really sorry about the harassment last night. I obviously had one too many and completely blacked out. Hopefully my humiliation will be punishment enough.

Dean read over the message a few times before sending it. He thought it sounded genuine but casual, which was exactly what he was going for. Figuring he wouldn’t get a response anytime soon, Dean put his phone down and began to make his way to his feet. As soon as he was standing though, his phone chimed on the floor.

Groaning, Dean bent over slowly to pick it up. He had to shake away stars before reading the new text message.

 _ **Castiel:**_ Not a problem. It was rather amusing. How are you feeling?

 ** _Dean:_** Like Death decided my brain was a good place to set down roots.

 _ **Castiel:**_ Did you take any medication yet? 

**_Dean:_** No, but I’ve got a beer with my name on it in the fridge. Good advice... as long as I can get it down. It’s pretty embarrassing that I got that trashed in the first place.

 _ **Castiel:**_ It happens to the best of us. A friend of mine once had to hook me up to a banana bag after a bad night out. 

Dean smiled. He liked when he earned small bits of information like this. It felt like he was getting somewhere.

 ** _Dean:_** I should have more doctor friends then. That sounds way better than my shitty Miller Lite.

 _ **Castiel:**_ The beer will help with your headache, but chase it with a lot of water. Then go back to sleep. You’ll feel better by tonight.

 ** _Dean:_** Doctor’s orders?

 _ **Castiel:**_ If it makes you feel better to see it that way, then yes. Doctor’s orders.

 ** _Dean:_** lol. okay doc. Thanks.

 _ **Castiel:**_ Anytime, Dean.

 

Dean placed his phone on the kitchen counter as he struggled towards the fridge. He pulled out one beer and opened it with a quick twist of his wrist. He eyed the bottle suspiciously, his stomach turning over at smell wafting out of the bottle. He grimaced, but began to drink it anyway.

Doctor’s orders.


	13. Chapter 13

“You know, if I’d known I would be subject to this kind of torture, I wouldn’t have agreed to meet you for lunch today.” Dean had his hand over his eyes and a displeased pull to his lips.

The sound of smacking lips ceased as his two friends giggled.

“Oh stop it.” Charlie half groaned, half laughed. Dean felt a Tater Tot hit the back of his hand. 

Dean peeked through his fingers to see that Jo no longer had her tongue down Charlie’s throat. He placed his hand back on the table and glared at the women sitting across from him. The hospital cafeteria had that constant buzzing sound that comes from public places, but it was quiet enough for him to hear Jo murmur,

“Cock block.”

Dean rolled his eyes.

“Hey, you two wanna get busy, be my guest.” Dean shrugged. “But at least have the decency to let me sell tickets first.”

Charlie took a bite of pita sandwich and snickered, putting her hand over her mouth to cover its contents. 

“You’re just jealous.” Jo teased. “How long has it been, Dean?”

“Not that long actually.” Dean answered, eyebrows challenging Jo. 

“Oh, really?” Charlie said, smiling widely. “What have you done Mr. Winchester?”

There was a glint in his friend’s eye that made Dean think that Charlie had the wrong idea about what it was Dean had gotten up to.

“A one off.” Dean answered, pushing fries into his mouth after dipping them in ketchup. “Nothing serious.”

“Oh.” Charlie slumped slightly. “Well, sometimes you just gotta get some.”

Dean nodded.

“Who was it?” Jo asked, her hand disappearing under the table right before Charlie shivered noticeably.

“Just a guy at a bar.” Dean answered, not meeting either of their eyes. He wasn’t ashamed of his actions, Charlie was right. Sometimes you just had to get some. Dean got some. End of story.

At the same time though, there was a small current of disappointment in his recent conquest, which he really didn’t want to dissect the meaning of. 

“It was nothing.” Dean continued, still not meeting either girl’s gaze.

“Maybe you should get off guys for awhile.” Charlie said, shrugging.

“I did.” Dean smiled cheekily. “Get him off.”

Charlie and Jo groaned simultaneously, Charlie rolling her eyes and Jo throwing more food at him.

“You know what I mean.” Charlie said, shaking her head. “Maybe it’d be better for you to meet a girl, you know, play that side while you... you know.”

The unspoken, _get over Castiel_ hung there, and Dean shifted nervously in his seat.

“It doesn’t really work that way, Charlie,” Dean tried to explain. “It’s not like I can just turn it off and on. I like who I like.”

Jo nodded in agreement.

“Yeah, my girl is brilliant, but she doesn’t always get bisexuality.” 

Charlie gave her girlfriend an annoyed smile. 

“I try to understand, really I do. It’s not my fault the idea of playing for both teams makes me squeamish. I mean, even thinking about getting down and dirty with a dude...” Charlie shudders dramatically. “No thank you.”

Dean laughs.

“Hey, more for me.” He takes a big bite of his sandwich. “Besides, I don’t need to worry about that other thing anymore.”

“Other thing?” Charlie asked.

“The thing that we aren’t talking about.” Dean said, one eyebrow raised. “I’m over it. We’re friends. It’s all good.”

Jo and Charlie both gave him completely unconvinced looks.

“Seriously!” Dean argued. “Not even a blip on my radar.”

Charlie smiled nodded.

“Okay, Dean. That’s good to hear.”

She elbowed in her girlfriend in the ribs, and Jo nodded immediately.

“Yeah, awesome dude.” Her eyes drifted past Dean to further in the cafeteria, and then she ducked down dramatically. “Oh shit.”

“What?” Charlie said, looking around Dean to see what Jo had spotted. As soon as she does, she ducks down too. “Shit, I think she saw me.”

Dean’s brow furrowed as he turned around to see what had his friends practically hiding beneath the table. 

“What the-”

His question was cut off by the fast approach of a petite blonde woman, dressed smartly in a blue suit and pulling a rolling suitcase behind her. 

“Nurse Bradbury! Ms. Harvelle!” The woman said, waving enthusiastically with the hand that wasn’t pulling the suitcase. “I’m so glad to run into you!”

“Shit.” Jo groaned under her breath, and then planted on a fake smile. “Oh, hey Becky. Didn’t see you there.”

Charlie nodded and smiled politely. “Yeah. How are you?”

Dean watched the exchange with a confused look on his face.

“Fine, fine.” Becky said quickly, “I’ve got some new stuff for you guys to talk to your superior about. Let me just...”

She turned around and pulled open the front zipper compartment of her suitcase. Pulling a few pamphlets from it, Becky talked a mile a minute.

“First Presbyterian Hospital just put in a full order of Kineptytol; you’re going to want to make sure you guys get some too. The competition for this one is _fierce_. The side effects are virtually non-existent compared to Danectol, and the price is very competitive. I’d say-”

“You know what?” Jo said, standing quickly. “I just forgot I left one of my patients in the hot tub.”

Becky’s face falls.

“You left a patient in a hot tub?”

Jo shrugged.

“Yep. Better run!” She leaned down and kissed Charlie’s cheek, who was trying to argue silently with Jo’s departure. “Say, babe. Don’t you have rounds down on third?”

Charlie’s eyes lit up.

“Oh god. I completely forgot.” Charlie stood up and looked down at Dean. “Sorry, Dean. I have to go. Same time next week?”

Dean wasn’t sure what was happening, but he knew he should just play along.

“Yeah, sure. No problem. See you guys later.”

“I’ll walk with you!” Becky said with a bright smile. “You’re going to want to hear about the newest drug out of Lima Corp. They’re revolutionizing UTI prevention.”

Charlie and Jo walked swiftly away, not waiting for Becky, but Becky chased after them. Dean could hear her describing the benefits of some drug while she followed behind them as the pair practically raced to the elevator. Dean couldn’t help but laugh as he watched them wait only a minute for the elevator before deciding to take the stairs. They probably assumed the woman with the suitcase wouldn’t follow them with her luggage, but Dean could see the little woman lifting the suitcase as she disappeared behind the stairwell door.

Just as the door closed, the elevator’s doors opened and out stepped a few people dressed in scrubs and lab coats. One of which had prescribed Dean a disgusting beer for breakfast not two days ago. Castiel had on light blue scrubs and his white lab coat and he was deep in discussion with another doctor. They looked like they might be arguing. 

Dean froze midbite, contemplating what he was going to do. 

He was happy he and Castiel were on good term, friends even, but Dean didn’t feel like he needed to interact with Castiel today. It’d be better for him to have some distance, really settle into the friendship headspace. Dean sat at his table for a moment longer, watching Castiel from across the cafeteria as the doctor ended his discussion with the other doctor and headed towards the line to grab some lunch.

While Castiel’s back was turned, Dean gathered his and his friend’s discarded lunches and tossed them into nearest trashcan. He chanced a look back as he headed for the bathrooms on the opposite end of the cafeteria, finding that Castiel was busy filling a to-go box with the green stuff Dean was too afraid to try when he was getting his own lunch.

Dean pushed open the bathroom door and sighed heavily as he leaned back on it once the door was closed. He didn’t give himself more than a second though, before he walked to the urinals and relieved himself. When he was finished, Dena washed his hands and then splashed cold water on his face. He braced his hands on the sink and looked at himself in the mirror.

“Come on, asshole. Get it together.”

Feeling like an idiot, Dean shook his head with a pathetic laugh before dabbing his face dry with a brown paper towel. He didn’t take the chance of meeting Castiel’s eyes when Dean left the bathroom, instead keeping his head down as he headed for the elevator. He pressed the button to take him back up to the lobby area, and waited rather impatiently for the elevator doors to slide open. 

When they did, Dean stepped inside the empty elevator car and pressed the button for the lobby. Just as the doors were closing, Dean heard a familiar voice call out.

“Hold the elevator!”

Dean’s instinct was to press the _close doors_ button, but at the last second he pressed the button to hold the elevator doors open. The elevator let out an aggravated chime as the doors pushed back open and revealed his doctor holding a white box, presumably filled with Castiel’s lunch. When their eyes met, Castiel visibly startled, but he recovered quickly.

“Dean, hello.” Castiel smiled politely, blinking somewhat excessively as he stepped inside the elevator next to Dean. Dean took a few steps to the right to keep some distance between them. 

“Hey, Doc.” He smiled nervously and did a little half wave gesture. “How’s it goin’?”

Castiel pressed the button for the sixth floor and the elevator chimed again as the doors closed, cutting them off from the rest of the world.

“Fine.” The doctor replied almost robotically, and then he let out a stunted sigh. “Actually, not so great.”

Dean turned slightly towards him. “What’s up?”

“That patient, the one I told you about?” Castiel started to explain, meeting Dean’s gaze. Dean nodded for him to continue. “Her family is arguing over her DNR and I can’t get her oncologist to agree with me on the matter. I find myself a little on edge today.”

Dean suppressed the smile that wanted to find his lips at the information his new friend had shared with him. The subject matter was certainly nothing to smile about, a young girl dying of cancer and her family bickering about the right time to pull the plug, but Dean was pleased that Castiel was sharing things with him. 

“I’m sorry.” Dean said carefully. “That’s gotta suck. Is there someone else who can intervene?”

Castiel nodded and shifted his hands on his Styrofoam box of food. His eyes were up on the digital screen above the elevator door, slowing ticking off the floors as they traveled.

“The hospital chaplain is usually the next step, but the family refuses to meet with one. They aren’t religious and think it would be unhelpful, even after I explained that meeting with the chaplain doesn’t have to be a religious experience. The hospital chaplains are excellent mediators, they can help families without mentioning any deities, but neither her mother nor her father will listen to me. They’re going through a divorce and it’s all rather sensitive.” 

He looks at Dean out of the corner of his eye and Dean can see a hint of blush coloring the doctor’s cheeks.

“Sorry to unload on you like this. Like I said before, it’s been a difficult day.”

“No, yeah.” Dean replied softly. “I get it. I’m sorry you’re having to deal with it. Wish there was something I could do to help.”

Castiel smiled at him, then looked back down at his food.

“Thank you. Sometimes it’s just nice to say things out loud.”

“You could do that without me.” Dean shrugged and smiled playfully. “Although, you might get a lot of weird looks.”

Castiel laughed as the elevator chimed and its doors opened to the lobby.

Dean took a step forward, stopping right at the elevator’s entry way.

“I met your brothers the other day.” He said, almost bashfully. “You don’t use them for a sounding board?”

Castiel’s eyes widened slightly. “Yes, um. Gabriel mentioned your run in with them. I apologize for anything he said or did that would be considered offensive. He’s impossible.”

Dean laughed. 

“No, he was fine. Funny even.” 

“I won’t be telling him that.” Castiel laughed with him. His soft laughter turned into a shy smile as he looked past Dean and into the lobby. The elevator doors tried to close but Dean stood his ground. “Are you heading back home?”

“Yeah.” Dean answered, nodding. “I had lunch with Charlie and Jo, but they freaked out and ran away when some chick named Becky started talking to them about drugs.”

Castiel barked out a laugh that he covered with one hand when Dean’s eyebrows raised comically.

“Becky Rosen is a pharmaceutical representative. Charlie and Jo’s reaction is not at all unique. Most of us run and hide when they start strolling the halls.”

“Why?”

The elevator doors try to close again, but Dean ignores it and leans against the open elevator entry.

“Their job is to get us to use whatever drug they’re selling.” Castiel shakes his head and rolls eyes. “The salesmanship part can be exhausting for those of us on the receiving end.”

Dean nodded in understanding.

“Ah, I get it.”

A woman with a stroller approached and Dean felt disappointment settle in his gut knowing he’d have to say goodbye so the woman could take the elevator. Castiel’s eyes fell over to the woman as well, and he smiled softly at Dean when they look at each other again.

“Well, thanks for the talk.” Castiel said. Then he added with a sly smile, “I hope you’ve recovered from your night out.”

Dean rolled his eyes and groaned.

“I thought you’d be cool and pretend that never happened.”

Castiel laughed and shook his head.

“I don’t think I’ll be forgetting that for some time.”

The woman with the stroller smiled politely at Dean and he moved out of the way and stepped into the lobby, holding out his arm to hold open the elevator doors for her as she got on.

“That’s not fair.” Dean said, smiling. “I should be able allowed to see you drunk, make it even.”

“Maybe we can arrange that.” Castiel shrugged as he let out an exhausted sigh. “I think I’ll need a few drinks after all of this is over.”

Dean let go of the door and stepped back.

“Let me know. Drinks on me.”

The elevator doors began to close, but Dean could still see Castiel smiling back at him. 

“Sounds good, Dean.”

 

Dean returned his friend’s smile, and continued to look into the elevator even after the doors closed. 

He smiled all the way to his car and on the entire drive home.


	14. Chapter 14

_What did you get me?_

Ben’s eyes were wide and his face was stretched with a large, gummy smile as he looked up to his uncle. They were putting together a Lego castle in the middle of Sam and Eileen’s living room floor and Ben was practically bursting at the seams with excitement about his upcoming birthday. 

Dean shook his head no, but smiled down at his nephew.

_No way. I’m not telling. Your birthday isn’t for another two days._

Ben rolled his eyes and let out a guttural sound in aggravation.

_Mom and Dad won’t tell me what they got me either._

_Dude, it’s your birthday! You’re not supposed to know what you get. It’s all supposed to be a surprise._

Ben shrugged and placed a few Lego pieces on their castle.

_I wish my party was today. I can’t wait to set up the bounce house and get my face painted. I’m going to be a dragon._

Dean laughed and clapped his nephew on the back.

_I know your mom basically strong armed the face painting lady into working that day. She knew how much you wanted it. You’re really lucky to have a mom like that._

Ben smiled and nodded in agreement.

_I know. Dad is going to set up the zip line in the backyard too._

Dean’s face lit up.

_This zip line. Is it just for kids or..._

Dean pointed to himself and Ben gave him a wide smile.

_Dad said you aren’t allowed, but I bet you could sneak a few rides._

Dean pumped his fist once in mock triumph, then held out his hand for a high five. Ben beamed at him as their hands connected it a hard snap.

They continued to build the castle, referencing the guide a few times when things weren’t looking right.

 _So, which are your friends are coming to the party?_ Dean signed between placing Lego pieces.

_Parker, Leon, Deidre, and Claire._

_Yeah, I know Claire is really excited to go. I saw her the other day with her dad._

_Is her uncle going to bring her to the party?_

Dean furrowed his brow as he looked at his nephew.

_I don’t think so buddy. I think her mom and dad will._

_But Castiel is my friend, too._

He looked at Dean like his uncle was very stupid, and Dean tried to keep his mouth from falling open in surprise.

_You want Castiel to come to your birthday party?_

_Yes._

Ben went back to working on the castle, but Dean continued to stare at his nephew. He tapped his shoulder to look at him.

_Should I invite him?_

Ben rolled his eyes and nodded.

_Duh._

Dean pulled his phone out immediately.

 _ **Dean:**_ I know you’re probably busy this Saturday, but Ben just told me he was hoping you would be at his party. I guess the kid took a shining to you.

Castiel didn’t reply immediately, so Dean put his phone back down.

_I just invited him. Happy?_

“Yeah, I’m sure it’s him who is happy about it.” Sam said from behind his laptop. 

He had been working on the couch for the last hour, occasionally pointing out incorrectly placed Lego pieces or muttering curse words under his breath as he read the brief of his case.

Dean ignored him and went back to helping his nephew build the drawbridge for their Lego castle. About ten minutes later, his phone buzzed next to him on the floor.

 _ **Castiel:**_ I’m on call this Saturday, but I may be able to stop by for a short visit. Tell Ben thank you for thinking of me.

Dean smiled down at his phone.

“I guess I’ll add another person to the guest list then.” Sam said casually, not looking at Dean when Dean looked up at his brother.

“Shut up.” Dean said, tapping his nephew’s shoulder to get his attention.

_Castiel says that he may have to work, but that he will try to make it._

Ben smiled and nodded.

_Okay. That’s good. Now you will have a friend at my party too._

Dean laughed.

_That’s very considerate of you buddy._

“Yeah, my son’s a regular matchmaker.” Sam murmured behind his laptop. 

Dean threw a Lego piece at him.

***

 

The day of the party was overly warm and dry. Dean felt damp with sweat as soon as he got out of his car and walked around to the trunk to get Ben’s presents out of the car. Sam and Eileen had specified for the kids to bring their bathing suits since they had plans to set up the sprinkler, but Dean had forgone the bathing suit and just went with a pair of cargo shorts and a T-shirt. A bead of sweat dripped down his temple, making Dean regret his decision by the time he made it to Sam’s front door. As always, Dean pressed the button to alert Eileen and Ben of someone’s arrival, but then Dean walked inside without knocking. He was instantly assaulted with the smell of freshly baked cake.

The house was only minorly decorated, since the party would be mostly held outside in the backyard. There were a few balloons and a Happy Birthday!- sign hanging above the back door, but not much else. Dean placed his presents for Ben on the kitchen table and joined Eileen in the kitchen, kissing her cheek as a greeting.

_Smells amazing. Is that chocolate?_

Eileen nodded.

_Ben’s favorite. Sam is outside setting up the different activities. I’m sure he could use some help by now._

Dean laughed.

 _Yeah, he’s helpless without me._

_Ben isn’t helping. He keeps trying to jump in the bounce house as Sam is blowing it up._ Eileen smiles. _It’s actually hilarious to watch._

Dean laughed again and headed for the sliding glass door that leds to Sam and Eileen’s backyard. 

The first thing he noticed was the balloons tied to every available surface. They were in the trees, tied to tables and chairs, wrapped around the posts of their fence, even tangled in a mass in the middle of the backyard, weighted down by a few rocks. 

“Don’t worry,” Dean joked as he stepped under the harsh June sun. “I brought balloons.”

Sam looked up from his crouched position where he was blowing up the bounce house with a pump and gave Dean his very best bitch face. Dean smiled widely, showing off all of his teeth. Sam looked like he hadn’t showered yet, his hair somewhat greasy and his shirt stained with something blue. Ben was making squawking noises behind him, a Styrofoam sword in his hands and a cape around his neck. Dean’s nephew proceeded to hit his father over the head with his sword a few times, then raise his hands in victory.

Sam’s bitch face intensified. Dean laughed. 

“Need some help brother?” 

“Um, yeah.” Sam said shortly. “That’d be good.”

Dean kept his cheeky smile on his face, but narrowed his eyes at his nephew. He waited for Ben to look at him, then signed.

_Your party is going to start in an hour, you should let your Dad get stuff done dude._

Ben’s shoulders slumped. Sam went back to blowing up the bounce house.

_But it’s my birthday and I wanted to play knights and dragons. Daddy said he would._

_Well, if your dad can’t get everything set up your friends won’t have very much fun at your party. How about you let me and your dad finish making everything perfect for you and your friends, then we will both play a round of dragons and knights with you._

Ben smiled widely and nodded enthusiastically.

_Deal._

_Okay great. Why don’t you go inside and help your mom._

Ben nodded and took off towards the house.

Dean brushed his hands together dramatically, like he just finished a particularly difficult and messy task. 

“Alright, what’s next?”

Sam glared at him, apparently not pleased with Dean’s cockiness.

“How about you untangle those balloons and finish tying them to the posts.” His breath was labored as he spoke, his arms working hard to pump up the bounce house. “This should be done in a minute and then I was going to set up the piñata.”

“You got it, boss.” Dean nodded and went about his new task. 

They worked in relative silence, mostly because Sam was huffing and puffing over the pump, but also because Dean’s mind was elsewhere. He was thinking about the party’s guests and whether or not a certain doctor would be in appearance. Dean hadn’t heard anything else since Castiel had told him that he would try to make it, so he didn’t know what to expect. 

He was, of course, aware that he shouldn’t be anticipating Castiel’s appearance, since they were just friends and friends didn’t really give much thought to whether or not another friend would make it to a child’s birthday party. That didn’t stop him from spending an extra twenty minutes getting ready this morning, nor did it keep him from getting distracted from his current duties. 

A spray of cold water splashed into Dean’s face and up his nose. He had started setting up the sprinkler in the back portion of the yard after he had finished with the balloons, and with his mind elsewhere, he didn’t take into account his brother’s penchant for playing tricks on him.

Dean sputtered and fell backwards, coughing out the water as he scrambled away from the sprinkler stream. Sam’s laughter could be heard from across the yard, where he stood next to the water spicket. Dean went straight for him, but even though he has stopped using his cane, Dean couldn’t quite run yet. He was too slow and Sam ran inside the house, still laughing, where he knew Dean couldn’t follow, not with his shirt dripping wet. Eileen would kill him.

“Yeah, you better run!” Dean yelled into the house, shaking his head. “Be prepared Sammy. There’s an east wind coming!”

A low baritone comes from behind him.

“Genesis?”

Dean spun around to find Castiel standing a few feet behind him, an amused but slightly perplexed look on his face. He had a bag in his hands that had birthday balloons and green tissue paper sticking out of it. The doctor was dressed nicely, slacks and a button down, not exactly backyard birthday party attire.

“What?” Dean asked dumbly, wiping the water that dripped from his hair off of his face. His T-shirt was drenched and clung to his stomach, something Dean wasn’t too keen on at the moment. He hadn’t been working out and was very aware of the little extra layer of fat around his stomach. With the hand not currently brushing water out of his hair, Dean pulled on his t-shirt a bit to pull it away from his body slightly. As soon as he let it go though, it clung right back and Dean huffed a little in annoyance.

Castiel’s eyes swept over Dean’s frame, the blue eyes lingering on Dean’s chest and abdomen. The doctor’s tongue dipped out to coat his bottom lip and then his eyes forcibly snapped back up to Dean’s face. It took all the strength Dean possessed not to smirk knowingly.

Castiel cleared his throat and stepped back awkwardly.

“Um, Genesis. Your threat about the eastern wind, it’s from the Bible, yes?”

 

“Sherlock.” Dean replied, a little embarrassed. “But uh, I guess it could be from there too.”

“Oh, you read Doyle’s stories?” Castiel tilted his head slightly, eyes still fixed on Dean’s. 

“Oh, um. No.” Dean laughed nervously. “The show. BBC? I mean, I’ve been thinking about reading some of the original stories though.”

Castiel let out a small chuckle and looked down at his shoes.

“Right, the show.” He smiled and looked back up at Dean. “I’ve heard it’s very good.”

“It’s amazing.” Dean said in a rush. “Seriously one of the best shows I’ve ever watched. Definitely recommend it.”

Castiel nodded.

“Alright, I’ll keep that in mind.”

They stared at each other for a few beats, then Dean shifted slightly and gestured towards himself.

“You kind of walked in on World War three here.”

“I see that.” Castiel replied with a small laugh. “I can’t imagine the state Sam is in. I heard laughing so I thought I’d come back here instead of knocking on the front door. I hope that’s okay. ”

“Yeah it’s cool. Sam kind of got in a cheap shot and ran away so he isn’t drenched. Yet.” Dean replied, sending a scathing look inside the house as if Sam could see him. “Little bitch.”

Castiel laughed again.

“Well, I wanted to come by early and drop this off. I’m needed at the hospital in a few minutes. I didn’t want Ben to think I’d forgotten him though.”

“That’s really nice of you.” Dean said, angling himself towards the house again. “I’ll get him out here and you can give him that. He’ll be thrilled.”

“Okay, great. Thank you.” 

“Hey jerk!” Dean yelled into the house. “Send Ben outside will you? There is someone here to see him.”

A window was opened on the second floor and Sam’s voice called down to the backyard.

“What- Oh, hey Dr. Novak.” Sam called down. “Good to see you.”

Castiel looked up, a hand over his eyes to shield from the sun.

“Hello, Sam. Feel free to call me Castiel.”

“Okay.” Sam answered, then brought his eyes to Dean. “You look like shit.”

Dean huffed and flicked him off.

“Wonder why that is? Send your kid out here with a towel will you?”

Sam laughed but nodded.

“Okay, hold on.”

Castiel and Dean were left alone again, but Dean didn’t feel the sense of awkwardness that had settled over them a few moments before. He felt more at ease as he took a few steps closer to Castiel.

“So, you get to go save some lives today? Lucky you.” 

“Yes, well,” Castiel replied, taking a step forward as well. “It isn’t always like that, but it does feel good when it happens. I’m sure you can relate.”

“Yeah,” Dean nodded in agreement. “I mean, the danger and all that isn’t really a plus, but saving people? Yeah, there’s nothing like it.”

Castiel smiled, but Dean could see something sad inside of it. He hadn’t given a lot of thought to the obvious signs that Castiel wasn’t a fan of his chosen profession, but now that he was getting to know Castiel better, Dean’s curiosity peaked.

“You don’t like it, do you?” Dean said carefully. 

“Like what?” Castiel asked, brows pinched together and head tilted slightly.

“My job.”

Castiel’s mouth fell open and silence fell between them. Dean was used to smoothing over awkward moments with a joke or apology, but he didn’t say anything. He really wanted to hear Castiel’s response.

Unfortunately, just as the doctor’s mouth started to move, Dean’s nephew came bounding out of the house. He was giggling as he handed Dean a blue towel and Dean took it from him without taking his eyes off of Castiel.

Castiel blinked a few times before focusing his attention on Ben. He waved, then held out the present to Ben with a slightly strained smile on his face.

Ben took it eagerly, then, with his hands free, Castiel signed,

_Happy Birthday Ben. Thank you for inviting me._

It was signed almost perfectly and Dean beamed at his doctor.

“Someone’s been practicing.”

 _Thank you._ Ben responded, then turned towards Dean.

_Can I open it now?_

Dean shrugged, then signed as he responded aloud.

“I don’t see why not. I’m sure your mom and dad won’t mind one present.”

Ben didn’t need to be told twice. He dropped to his knees and hurriedly pulled the tissue paper from the bag. His hands disappeared, then reappeared with a box in them. Dean looked down to inspect it further.

It was one of those volcano science experiments, except this one came with dragon and knight figurines and a castle to build around the volcano.

Ben’s eyes lit up and he jumped to his feet. He charged at Castiel and wrapped his arms around his waist in a grateful hug. The doctor looked surprised, but pleased with the show of affection and bent down to pat the boy’s back.

_Thank you, thank you. I love it! _Ben signed quickly, then turned to Dean. _Can I do it now?_ __

_Dean laughed and shook his head._

“No man, you have people coming soon. Let’s save it for later. Okay?” 

Ben looked displeased for a moment, but his expression quickly turned back to excitement. 

_Okay. I’m going to go show dad._

“Good idea.” Dean said as he signed, and laughed as Ben barreled back towards the house. He unfolded the towel and began drying off his hair. 

__“Thanks.” Dean said, when he turned back towards Castiel. “He’s obviously very happy with it.”_ _

__Castiel chuckled and took a step towards the gate of the backyard._ _

__“Well, I’m glad.” His eyes shifted nervously towards the gate then back down to his shoes. “I should really get going, my shift starts soon.”_ _

__“Okay.” Dean said in reply, not forgetting the question Castiel was trying to avoid, but allowing it to die for now. “Thanks for stopping by, made Ben’s day.”_ _

__“Sure, sure.” Castiel replied, somewhat shortly, still edging towards the gate. “Enjoy the party, Dean.”_ _

__“Thanks, enjoy getting blood and other gross stuff all over you.” Dean called back, smiling. He wanted to pull Castiel out of his own head, it was obvious what Castiel was doing and Dean wanted to put him at ease.  
His joke seemed to work, since Castiel’s shoulders fell slightly from their tense position and he let out a huff of a laugh._ _

__“Thank you. I’ll try.” His smile was genuine when he stopped his walk towards the gate and looked at Dean. There was only a hint of the anxiety Dean had seen in the doctor’s eyes a few moments before. “Maybe we can grab that drink sometime next week. I think I’ll be needing it.”_ _

__Dean nodded casually, still trying to put his friend at ease._ _

__“I’m free, just let me know.”_ _

__“Okay.” Castiel smiled once more, then started walking towards the gate again. “Goodbye, Dean.”_ _

__“Later!” Dean said as he turned back towards the house. He watched as Castiel disappeared into the front yard then pulled off his wet t-shirt and spent a few minutes toweling himself off._ _

__Dean was very interested in what it was Castiel seemed to have against Dean’s chosen profession, but the look on his friends face when Dean questioned him on it, wasn’t one Dean wanted to put there again anytime soon. He wanted Castiel to feel at ease with him._ _

__A squeal and a cacophony of children’s laughter brought Dean out of his thoughts of Castiel. The first guests had arrived and Dean was shirtless, not exactly the impression he wanted to make at a kid’s birthday party. He still had a spare change of clothes in his trunk from when he was working and found himself in need of extra clothes often enough for him to warrant keeping a set in his car. Dean walked as swiftly as he could to the front gate and slipped through it, hoping he could get to his car before the next round of guests arrived._ _

__He couldn’t run, but he could do a sort of shuffling motion to help him walk faster. When he made it to his car, Dean opened the trunk and rifled through the bag he kept back there until he found a clean t-shirt. He pulled it out and closed his trunk, turning around as he pulled his t-shirt on. When the fabric fell over his face, and his head popped through the opening, Dean’s eye fell to the car that was parked behind him. More specifically, his eyes fell on the person sitting in the driver’s seat._ _

__Castiel was staring at him, a somewhat shocked and embarrassed look on his face._ _

__Dean waved, but halted his motion when he noticed how red Castiel’s eyes looked. There were clear streaks of liquid on his cheeks and his hair was in a disheveled state. Dean was stunned, anchored to his place on the pavement. He didn’t know what to say or do, he just stared at his friend as Castiel’s car roared to life and backed up._ _

__The doctor didn’t look back at him as he sped away._ _


	15. Interlude III

Castiel strode through the gate of Sam and Eileen’s backyard, trying desperately to remove the image of Dean gorgeous and soaking wet under the warm afternoon sun. It would probably be permanently seared into his mind, but Castiel tried nonetheless. 

His phone buzzed in his pocket before he reached the sidewalk and Castiel pulled it out of his pocket to answer it.

“This is Dr. Novak.” He said somewhat distractedly as he pulled his keys out of his other pocket.

“Dr. Novak, it’s Hannah.” 

Hannah was a nurse he worked with often. She was the lead nurse on quite a few of his cases and Castiel enjoyed working with her. She was professional and thorough, both of which Castiel appreciated.

“Hello, Hannah. I know I’m running late, but I should be there-”

“No, Dr. Novak that’s not why I’m calling.” She paused hesitantly and Castiel could now hear trepidation in her voice. 

“What is it?” Castiel asked, stopping on the sidewalk and narrowing his eyes down at a particularly wide crack in the concrete.

“It’s Hael Christianson. She coded an hour ago.”

Castiel felt his chest falling, his grief quickly surpassing his shock. The weight of the change felt like it might crush him.

“She was stable last night... What-what happened?”

“Not entirely sure, but it looks like it could have been a PE. Autopsy won’t be until-”

“The DNR?” Castiel interrupted.

“Her father finally agreed to sign it early this morning.”

Castiel felt his feet carrying him to his car, but he didn’t remember his brain sending his legs that command. It wasn’t the first time he lost a patient he was fond of, but it was the first in a very long time. The first since...

“I thought I should call to tell you. I wanted you to be prepared when you came in.” Hannah said softly. It sounded like she might have been crying.

“Thank you.” Castiel said absently, fumbling with his keys as he opened his car door and sat down with a defeated sigh. “I’ll be there in a few minutes.”

“Okay, doctor. See you then.” Hannah replied. 

Castiel heard a click and then he pulled his phone back from his ear. His face felt far too hot, his body tingling with sadness as it adjusted to a world without his young patient in it. He took in a shuttering breath, doing his best to control his emotions as he closed his eyes and tried to regulate his breathing. 

Patients died. It happened all of the time. Especially cancer patients.

Hael wasn’t always terminal, though. Castiel had allowed himself to develop a kind of affection for the young girl, under the assumption that she would pull through her diagnosis. He found himself looking forward to her bell-like laugh in the morning and frequently put the pictures she drew for him up on his refrigerator. Castiel found the knock-knock jokes she told during her examinations charming, whereas most of the nurses just pretended to laugh. He had even had lunch with her a few times and listened intently to Hael describe her favorite ballet. 

These emotions and activities, Castiel permitted them because he had a very good feeling that Hael would live. However, Hael had not progressed as he expected. She steadily grew worse and now she was gone. Castiel had come to the conclusion that she wouldn’t make it weeks ago, but he had already fallen into the trap of emotional attachment and couldn’t pull himself out of it. 

Preparing to give himself a few minutes to mourn privately before heading to the hospital, Castiel let his mind roam over thoughts of his lost patient, but then his phone buzzed in his hand and distracted him.

A new text message.

 _ **Gabriel:**_ Did you give Dean his present yet?  
_**Gabriel:**_ I bet he’d take anything you’d give him.  
_**Gabriel:**_ Come on little brother, I know you want

Castiel tore his eyes from his phone and tossed the offending device into the passenger seat. 

Frustration boiled under his skin but without Gabriel actually sitting there to lash out at, Castiel slammed his hands into the steering wheel and let out an exceptionally aggravated groan.

Dean was the last thing he wanted to think about. _No_ , Castiel’s feelings for Dean was the last thing he wanted to think about. Gabriel had been teasing him about Dean ever since Gabriel had met him, and Castiel in turn gave Jimmy hell for telling Gabriel about Dean in the first place. Gabriel was pretty much the last person on earth Castiel wanted to talk about such sensitive subjects with, but Jimmy slipped up after a night of drunken poker and Castiel hadn’t heard the end of it since. 

Now, less than five minutes from when Castiel had left Dean in Sam and Eileen’s backyard, Castiel felt bombarded by sentiment and vexation and all of it collided in his eye sockets. Tears were suddenly streaming down his face and Castiel let out an indignant sigh at the inconvenience. Crying wasn’t something he did often anymore. In fact, he couldn’t remember the last time he allowed himself to. 

After he lost Inias, Castiel felt like he did nothing but cry for months. Now it was two years later and some of those feelings bled through to his mourning for Hael and his frustration with his situation with Dean. It wasn’t just confusing, but overwhelming as well and Castiel couldn’t help feeling powerless.

He couldn’t save Hael, just like he couldn’t save Inias. Of course, Hael had died of cancer in a hospital bed, and Inias... Well, Inias had walked to his death with his head held high. 

And Dean...Dean was just like Inias. Dean was brave and selfless and wouldn’t think twice about putting his life at risk to save someone else’s. Upon realizing this very quickly after meeting him, Castiel was sure to keep Dean at an arm’s distance. He didn’t need to form an attachment to anyone he would likely have to attend a funeral for. 

But then Dean was _Dean_ and Castiel couldn’t stay away. 

He decided to allow himself Dean’s friendship, not just because Jimmy all but insisted upon it, but because Castiel found himself unable to cut off the relationship. There was something about Dean, something about the energy that surrounded them, which prevented Castiel from doing what his mind begged him to do. The logical side of him knew that ceasing communication with Dean was the best thing for him, since it would ensure that Castiel would never have to receive a phone call telling him of Dean’s untimely demise in a house fire. However, Castiel’s rational thinking skills came abruptly to a halt upon meeting Dean.

Now, he found himself in a friendship he hadn’t intended to form, and was completely incapable of giving it up. His feeble attempts thus far had been ineffective and Castiel didn’t even try to pretend he felt badly about that. He was grateful Dean had stopped flirting with him though, that would only lead to something Castiel resolutely refused to allow to happen. 

He would not, _absolutely not_ , be pursuing a romantic relationship with Dean Winchester. Losing a friend is one thing, but losing another lover? Castiel wouldn’t survive it. 

Castiel sighed, looking down at his own lap while he rubbed at his eyes and tried to pull himself together. 

When he looked up, Castiel felt like all his emotions were sucked out of him abruptly and were replaced with shock. His mouth dropped open as he took in Dean’s appearance in front of his car.

The firefighter had his back to Castiel’s car and was pulling on a T-shirt as he turned towards him. Castiel took in the vision of Dean’s bare stomach, something he decidedly did not need to see ever again if he was expected to continue acting like he didn’t want to kiss a trail down the distinctive lines that disappeared into Dean’s shorts.

It took him a moment to realize the evidence of Castiel’s most recent activity was probably rather obvious, and then Castiel flushed with embarrassment. He hadn’t a clue what Dean was thinking when the firefighter threw up a confused half-wave as he regarded Castiel, but Castiel really didn’t want to find out. 

He turned over the ignition and backed out of his parking space quickly, eyes firmly off of Dean and on the road. He didn’t resist the urge to look in the rear-view mirror though, after his Prius was already speeding away. 

Dean stood in the middle of the street watching after him and Castiel’s heart hurt just a little more as he drove away.


	16. Chapter 16

Dean spent the entire birthday party thinking about Castiel. 

It wasn’t exactly a novel experience, considering how often his new friend crossed his mind lately, but this time he didn’t try to push away the thoughts as quickly as they entered his head. Instead, he allowed his curiosity and concern distract him from the fun that was being had all around him. 

Dean barely noticed when Sam commissioned the face painter to paint a unicorn shitting rainbows onto his cheek and nearly had his head torn off by a zip line rider who couldn’t keep their legs together as they shrieked out their excitement. He had a few conversations, mostly with Sam and Bobby, the latter of which had shown up for exactly an hour to give Ben his present and have a beer and hamburger before heading back to work. The present, a bright red axe, was Ben’s favorite, even though Eileen looked like she might strangle the old man for giving it to him. 

It was pathetic, but Dean avoided Jimmy Novak for the most part. They found themselves in conversation sometime before the cake was cut, mostly talking about their respective jobs and the fun Ben and Claire were having, but Dean made an excuse to end the conversation and head inside the house as quickly as he could. 

After the initial confusion wore off, and Dean was sure of what he had seen, his thoughts were then dominated by what he should do about it. Standard bro code said that Dean should just ignore the obvious distress Castiel was in and pretend like it never happened. Typically, guys didn’t really talk about their feelings, and he was pretty sure Castiel hadn’t wanted Dean to catch him in such a compromising situation.

However, Dean’s concern for Castiel outweighed the part of him that wanted to play it cool. He might have been embarrassed, but if Castiel needed someone to talk to, Dean wanted to be there for him. He made the decision to at least text him to make sure he was okay.

So, right around the time Jimmy began describing in detail what it was he did as an accountant, Dean told him,

“Hold that thought, Jimmy.” Dean held up a finger and his hand holding his drink. “Too much soda, gotta run inside for a minute.”

“Sure,” Jimmy said with a warm smile. “I’m fairly positive you don’t want to hear about profit margins though, how about when you get back we talk about something else? You like baseball?”

Dean’s eyes lit up.

“Definitely and I’ve got plenty to say about Ventura this season. Just give me a second.”

Dean backed up towards the house and Jimmy waved him off with another easy smile.

Dean walked swiftly towards the house, ducking out of the way of the latest zip line participant and slipping through the sliding glass door before the sprinkler could spray him. Once inside, Dean walked towards the back of the house where Eileen and Sam kept an office that neither of them really worked in. 

There were four ceiling to floor bookcases, each filled with more books than the shelves could really hold. There was a small leather couch against the wall under a large window and Dean settled onto it after closing the office door behind himself. He pulled out his phone and stared down at it for a moment, trying to decide if he should text or call.

Castiel was at work, so it was unlikely he would be able to answer the phone, and if Dean was being completely honest with himself, he was pretty chicken shit about calling Castiel anyway.

He opened their text conversation thread and thought for a moment before typing out something.

 _ **Dean:**_ Hey, just wanted to make sure everything was alright. You looked pretty upset before you left. I can’t enjoy the zip line knowing something is up.

Dean sighed and leaned back on to the couch after he pressed send. He knew it was unlikely for Castiel to answer his text right away, busy doctor and all. He decided to check in with Charlie and Jo. Pulling open their group chat, Dean thought very carefully about what he wanted to write. He didn’t want to give the girls the impression that he was thinking more about Castiel than he should, but he also wanted to know if his friend was alright.

 _ **Dean:**_ Either of you see Castiel today?

Dean didn’t have to wait but a minute before his phone buzzed in his hand.

 _ **Charlie:**_ My shift just ended. I saw him for a few minutes before he went into surgery. Why?

 _ **Jo:**_ You know why.

 _ **Dean:**_ Shut it Jo.  
_**Dean:**_ He seemed upset earlier. Just wanted to see if he was okay.

 _ **Jo:**_ Aw. So sweet.

 _ **Dean:**_ Is there one of those emoji things for rolling eyes? 

_**Charlie:**_ Just press the button with all the emojis and look through it, old man.  
_**Charlie:**_ I didn’t notice anything weird, but you know him. He isn’t exactly a chatty Cathy in the first place. His stoicism is rather impressive.

Dean sighed and nodded as he typed out a response

 _ **Dean:**_ Right. Thanks anyway.

 _ **Charlie:**_ Should I be worried? I can go back in?

 _ **Jo:**_ Don’t be nosy. Whatever it is, Dean can ask him. You need to get your ass over here. I’m lonely.

Dean rolled his eyes but smiled down at his phone.

 _ **Dean:**_ Yeah. Don’t worry about it. Enjoy your day ladies.

 _ **Jo:**_ Oh we will.

 _ **Charlie:**_ Let me know what you find out... I hope he is okay!

 _ **Dean:**_ Will do. 

 

Dean sighed again and let his head fall back onto the couch. He closed his eyes and thought over exactly what he saw earlier. Castiel had definitely been crying, which was very strange considering he had only left five or six minutes before Dean walked out to his car. What could have upset him that quickly? 

He seemed fine when he left, albeit a little awkward about the elephant in the room that was Dean’s job, but certainly not emotional. Something definitely had to have happened between their goodbye and Dean walking out to the car. A phone call probably. Maybe that patient he had been worrying about lately. Dean felt an ache of sympathy at that, hoping that wasn’t it. 

His phone buzzed in his hand again and Dean looked down to it earnestly.

 _ **Castiel:**_ That was rather embarrassing, sorry for speeding away like that.  
_**Castiel:**_ Thank you for your concern though. I am fine. Unfortunately, I lost the patient I told you about. Her death affected me a little more than I was expecting.

Dean’s heart sank and his mouth pulled down into a frown as he typed his response.

 _ **Dean:**_ I’m really sorry. Nothing to be embarrassed about, that’s really awful.  
_**Dean:**_ Can I do anything?

 _ **Castiel:**_ That’s kind of you, but no. I appreciate your concern though.  
_**Dean:**_ Sure, anytime. Let me know if you need anything. Tissues. Soup. Whiskey. I’m good for it.

A few moments passed before his phone buzzed again.

 _ **Castiel:**_ Thank you, Dean. How is Ben’s party?

 _ **Dean:**_ Good, I feel bad for hiding away right now but I wanted to check on you. Make sure everything was okay.

 _ **Castiel:**_ Please don’t let me keep you then. Honestly, I’m alright. Thank you for checking on me.

Dean smiled down at his phone, despite the moroseness of it all. He was glad Castiel felt comfortable telling him what had him so upset and felt encouraged by their conversation.

 _ **Dean:**_ Okay. Talk to you later.

 _ **Castiel:**_ Yes. Enjoy the party, Dean.

Dean smiled again down at his phone for a moment, rereading through the conversation again then pushing his phone back into his pocket with a satisfied sigh. 

It felt good to be on this level with Castiel, to be at a place where he could ask if Castiel was okay and Castiel would respond honestly. It was another level added to their relationship, and Dean couldn’t help but feel giddy about it. 

If Sam were in the room with him, he would have been called out on the tiny little sound that escaped as Dean practically leaped from the couch and opened the door to the office again. He felt awful for Castiel, and felt the weight of his friend’s sadness on his own heart, but he also felt incredibly light. 

Dean walked back out to the party with a smile on his face and headed straight for Jimmy Novak, happily anticipating a baseball filled conversation that Dean would probably steer towards Jimmy’s twin brother at some point. He had a mental list of things he wanted to know more about Castiel, and he hoped it would be easy enough to get some information out his brother. 

When he reached the man who looked both exactly and nothing like his doctor, Dean heard the conversation he was having with Sam and stopped short.

“-it’s good for him though,” Jimmy said, taking a sip of his bottle of water. If it had been Castiel’s mouth around the water bottle, lips pursed and open while they accepted the liquid eagerly, Dean would have been far too distracted to hear the conversation clearly. As it was, it wasn’t Castiel’s mouth, but Jimmy’s and despite their exact shape and color, Dean found now interest in what he saw. 

“He hasn’t been the most social lately, and he could use a friend who didn’t get him drunk and leave him in a hotel parking lot three hundred miles outside of town.”

Sam laughed and Dean inched closer while he pretended to be very interested in the bounce house activities. 

“That actually happened to him?”

Jimmy nodded, smiling widely.

“His practice partner Meg. He claims he remembered having a very good time before he was picked up by the police. The guys who picked him up said he was singing Frank Sinatra and dancing a waltz in the middle of the parking lot.”

Dean’s own smile crept on to his face at a glacial pace as he thought about Castiel drunk and silly, dancing in a parking lot and hiccupping in the back of a police car. Dean thought the look might suit the doctor pretty well, although Dean was pretty sure he could find something attractive in anything Castiel did. 

“That sounds hilarious.” Sam laughed. “It actually reminds me of the time I had to pick up Dean after a night out with some of his work buddies. I found him in a leopard print catsuit with a tail attached to his-”

“Hey!” Dean quickly jumped from behind the men and joined the conversation. 

“What you two talkin’ about?” He planted a fake smile on his face that he hoped looked casual enough to pass for someone who wasn’t purposely interrupting a conversation to save themselves from embarrassment. 

The catsuit story wasn’t one he wanted floating back to Castiel any time soon. Or ever. Ever would be just fine too.

Sam and Jimmy quickly began stuttering, Sam jabbering about the weather and Jimmy making a startled noise that led to a nervous cough. Dean tried and failed to hide an answering grin.

“It’s-uh, a good party.” Sam said, still sputtering and gesturing awkwardly towards the party with the hand that held his soda. “Ben’s having a blast.”

“Yeah,” Dean said nodding. “They all seem to be. Eileen throws a good one. Cake soon?”

Sam nodded. 

“Yeah, I should actually go check on that. Last I checked my wife was manning the zip line.”

Sam smiled as Dean and Jimmy nodded and waved him off.

“It was good talking to you though,” Sam added quickly to Jimmy. “We should grab a drink sometime. Swap some more...uh, _parenting_ stories.”

Dean just barely suppressed a groan and a roll of his eyes. The last thing he wanted was for Sam and Jimmy to get all buddy-buddy and gang up on him and Castiel. He glared at Sam when his brother’s eyes drifted to his after Jimmy agreed that a drink sometime sounded good. Sam smirked at Dean and strolled off to find his wife.

“So, your brother still in town?” Dean asked casually. 

Jimmy looked confused for a second before nodding in understanding.

“Oh yeah. Gabriel isn’t going anywhere for awhile.” He waved to Claire as she called for him to watch her perform a flip in the bounce house. “He is here setting up a new location for his video store. I wouldn’t put money on him staying permanently though, Kansas definitely isn’t his scene.”

“Video store?” Dean asked. “What, like Blockbuster? Isn’t everything online now? I didn’t even think those places made money anymore.”

“Well,” Jimmy shifted nervously and looked down at his shoes. “Gabe’s got a certain kind of... clientele and he doesn’t want to put his stuff on the internet.”

Dean was very confused.

“What? His stuff? You mean like, they're _his_ videos? What, like documentaries?”

“Um.” Jimmy blushed and looked around for a moment before lowering his voice and leaning in slightly. “Not exactly. He produces adult films, then sells them in his store. He owns the Casa Erotica chain.”

“Casa Erotica?” Dean repeats, not even remotely quietly, then ducking a little and lowering his voice. “You mean the special...um, _toy_ shop?”

“Yep.” Jimmy nodded and sipped his water, avoiding eye contact. “That’s the one.”

“Oh, well... okay.” Dean shrugged. He had been in a Casa Erotica when he visited New York with Cassie six or seven years ago. They had picked up a few things that definitely made things a lot more exciting for a while. “That’s cool.”

Jimmy smiled with an approving look on his face and Dean thought maybe he had just passed some kind of test.

“I’ll tell him you said so.” Jimmy responded. His eyes lit up then and he laughed. “Although, he may not live long enough for me to do so. He nearly got Castiel banned from the YMCA after using his pass the other day.”

“Oh, god.” Dean said, holding back a chuckle of his own. “What did he do?”

“Let’s just say certain activities took place in the pool and it had to be drained, then scrubbed clean.”

Dean burst out laughing, clutching his stomach and placing a hand on Jimmy’s arm as Castiel’s twin joined him. 

“What did Castiel do?” Dean finally managed to ask after his laughter died down.

“Well, Gabriel’s been staying with him so he immediately found Gabriel an apartment to rent and kicked him out. I’m pretty sure he paid to have the pool cleaned too.”

“Oh my god.” Dean said, still smiling widely. “That may be the funniest thing I’ve heard in a long time.”

“Really?” Jimmy asked, one eyebrow raised in a way that reminded Dean of Castiel. 

“Definitely.” Dean answered, somewhat cautiously. “Why, you got something better?”

Jimmy smiled mischievously then quickly straightened out his expression. 

“Oh, no. Not at all.” He sipped his water and looked back out to the party where Claire and Ben were now running through the sprinkler. Dean felt like he was definitely missing something, but followed Jimmy’s gaze to watch the kids anyway. 

Jimmy’s broke the silence after a moment, saying something that made Dean want to put mayonnaise in Sam’s toothpaste again.

“So, tell me Dean,” Jimmy asked softly, barely containing a smile. “You like cats?”


	17. Chapter 17

**Notes for the Chapter:**

> I start to earn the explicit rating in this chapter, so if that isn't your thing, feel free to skip down to the second section of this chapter when the time comes. It will be obvious when to skip ahead. Enjoy!

Dean’s lungs are on fire.

Over expanded and then completely empty. Pushing out and pulling in air, too much time between the acts to be comfortable. He hadn’t worked this hard since learning to walk again, his body screamed at him to stop, to take a break, but Dean pushed on.

Arm over arm, legs kicking fiercely, chlorine taking the sweat from his body and coating it in chemicals. The sun’s morning rays were harsh on his back as he pushed himself harder and harder. One more lap. One more lap. One more. He needed to keep going. 

He would be strong again.

When his chest felt like it might cave in from effort, Dean finally stopped swimming.

He slumped against the steps of his apartment complex’s grungy swimming pool and tried to catch his breath. Castiel had been right, swimming was excellent exercise and Dean was thrilled to be getting back in shape. He didn’t feel right if he didn’t let off some energy by sweating his ass off. An hour in the pool was like running ten miles; at least that's what it felt like to Dean. 

Still catching his breath, Dean allowed his body to float to the surface, closing his eyes and focusing on regulating his breathing. There were a few mothers with their babies in the baby pool, but Dean had the larger pool to himself for the time being. The older kids and teenagers would be out there soon enough, school being out and having nothing better to do. For now though, Dean enjoyed the relative silence the early morning gave him, and did his best to completely clear his mind.

He had plans for the day, but he didn’t want to think about that. Too often Dean found his mind racing with things to do, people to help, favors to grant. He liked all of those things, but he also needed to take time to just decompress and think of nothing but what was right in front of him. Right now, that was a pair of white fluffy clouds that looked like a rabbit’s head and a dildo.  
Dean snickered and closed his eyes again, his breathing having nearly returned to normal. After another few moments of peace, Dean pulled himself out of the pool, stepping carefully in case his bad leg decided to revolt against his workout. It felt weak and tired, but Dean knew it would feel better after some rest. The workout was good for him.

Dean toweled off by the chair he had commandeered as his own and gave a cursory glance at the handful of young mothers with their infants and toddlers inside the gated off baby pool. A little boy with blue swim trunks and a bright yellow life jacket was jumping and splashing in the baby pool, earning coos from the mothers and squeals from the toddlers around him. 

Dean smiled.

He was really looking forward to getting one of those for himself. He’d have to find someone to do it with, of course. Whether he married a woman or a man, children would always be a part of his future, Dean was sure of it. He loved Ben more than he would ever be able to explain, but it wasn’t the same. Dean wanted a child of his own. Maybe two or three. Maybe seven. He wasn’t sure, but he _really_ wanted the opportunity. 

As he finished drying off and pulled on a t-shirt and his sandals, Dean’s mind continued down its domestic path, pausing momentarily to include details of his dream home. When his mind produced a wraparound porch with a white wooden swing, a shadow slipped onto the swing, its arm wrapped around the back. The shadow wasn’t a shadow very long. Dean’s traitorous mind replaced the shadow with one blue eyed doctor, smiling up at Dean while he swung back and forth on the swing and reaching his hand out towards him.

Dean walked straight into the black iron gate.

“You’re supposed to open that,” A woman’s voice said from the other side of the gate. “Not try to plow through it.”

Dean shook away the fantasy and looked over the gate to find a pretty brunette. She was looking at him expectantly, but kindly, and Dean chuckled with embarrassment.

“Oh, right.” He opened the gate and held it open for her. “I always forget that part.”

“Thanks.” She said, stepping through. She wore a white cover-up over what looked like a teal bikini and Dean would be lying if he said he wasn’t interested in seeing what she looked like in it.

“Sure, no problem.” Dean replied. “Have a good day.”

“You too.” She said with a smile. It was the kind of smile that Dean had received before. The kind of smile that told him he would be successful in getting her name and maybe her number too if he tried. 

Dean stepped back and through the gate. He wasn’t in the mood to do the flirting thing right now, maybe if he saw her again he would chat her up, but his shower was calling him and Dean had a lot he wanted to do that day. 

He broke his shower curtain rod the night before during a particularly explosive orgasm and he needed to go to the hardware store to buy a new one. He had pretty much given up on not thinking about Castiel when he jerked off, since the doctor would show up in his fantasies whether Dean wanted him there or not. He was learning to compartmentalize that aspect of himself though, not letting it get in the way of being _just_ friends with Castiel. 

There were always going to be moments where Dean’s mind would produce images of Castiel on his knees and swallowing him down with his bright blue eyes looking up through his eyelashes, taking in every ounce of Dean’s pleasure, just like Dean imagined in the shower when his cock his in his hand and throbbing with want. But Dean worked very hard to leave those thoughts in the shower where they belonged. Of course, now that jerking off in the shower to Castiel had become a daily thing, Dean had begun getting hard just at the mere thought of getting in the shower, which was going to be an issue at some point, he was sure of it. 

As he walked up to his apartment door, Dean could already feel the stirring of his desire deep in his belly. He rolled his eyes as he walked through his door though, not really loving how much a slave he was to what his body so clearly wanted. He just had to remember to keep it in the shower; there would be no masturbatory thoughts of Castiel outside of his shower. That was the only place he could indulge. Everywhere else they were just friends. No heat. No chemistry. No soft but strong hands wrapping around his-

“Get a grip.” Dean sighed and walked awkwardly towards his bathroom, his half hard cock pressing uncomfortably against his swim trunks. He pushed them down once he was in the bathroom and let them fall to the floor. 

The shower curtain rod was being held up with sticky tabs, so he couldn’t put any pressure on it. He carefully pulled back the curtain, just barely capable of picking up his legs to step into the shower after his exhaustive workout. Turning on the water and cringing from the cold stream, Dean stepped back in the shower until the water turned comfortably warm. 

He went through the steps of his shower, washing his hair and face first, his body last, purposely avoiding his groin. He liked to tease himself, make himself desperate for it before he laid a single hand on himself.

Once his body was thoroughly covered in suds, Dean began to stroke his inner left thigh as his other hand caressed his chest. He closed his eyes and savored the sensation, allowing his mind to imagine it was a different set of hands touching him. His fingers grazed over his nipples, softly at first, then pinching once. That elicited a soft groan. 

With his eyes closed, it was easier to imagine someone standing behind him. A certain someone, of course, reaching around him and placing their hands all over his body. Caressing and stroking the places that make Dean weak in the knees. He could imagine lips brushing against his shoulders, hot breath on his neck as the steam from the shower surrounded him. He could almost hear Castiel’s deep baritone whispering in his ear, asking him what he wanted Castiel to do to him. 

Still refusing to touch his cock, Dean reached down to between his legs to cup his balls as his other hand wrapped around to knead at his ass. With his head tipped back, Dean imagined soft and wet kisses trailing up from his shoulder to his jaw, a head of dark brown hair next to his as another groan escaped and Dean’s knuckles brushed against his shaft.

After that, Dean couldn’t hold out any longer. He gripped himself and stroked once from base to tip, eyes still closed tightly. It wasn’t his hand on his cock. It was Castiel’s. The doctor’s arm wrapped around his waist and gripping him softly, but surely. His lips still covering Dean’s neck in sensual kisses that had Dean panting at the thought. With his other hand still on his ass, Dean continued to rub himself, gripping tightly as he stroked his cock once more, this time twisting his hand a bit at the tip. 

_Do you like that Dean? Do you like my hands on you?_

_Yes...God, yes._

Dean teased the tip of his cock, thumbing over it just as water washed away emerging precome. He continued to imagine it was Castiel behind him, touching him, pushing against him as he stroked and teased Dean’s cock. He concentrated on trying to feel what would have been Castiel’s hard cock against the cleft of his ass. Dean let out another moan at the images his mind provided him. 

With his hand still around his cock, Dean began to stroke himself at steady pace, his head dropping back again so he could imagine the doctor’s lips on his jaw again. 

_Do want it faster Dean?_

_Yes! Cas, yes please..._

Dean let out a whimper as his pace sped up, his hips now thrusting as he began fucking into his hand. No. It was Castiel’s hand he was fucking. 

It was too much and not enough at the same time. Thinking of him, his eyes, his mouth, _God_ that mouth. His hands, soft and amazing around his cock, just like his lips would surely be. 

_Come for me Dean. Come for me. Let me see you._

Dean’s hand moved from the cheek of his ass to tease at his cleft, his finger brushing his hole softly. His body shivered at the contact, and Dean continued to stroke himself quickly, the muscles in his abs quivering as he imagined Castiel dipping down and kissing him on his lower back, his tongue making a trail down...down...he pushed his finger inside, up to the first knuckle and Dean let out a guttural moan.

_Ohhh god. Oh-_

“God! Yes... I’m- I’m-”

Dean’s body convulsed as he fucked into his hand, thrusting faster and harder until the world went white and black at the same time, heat erupting from his belly down to his cock and it was just him and Castiel in the shower fucking _gloriously_ and then he was coming.

“Castiel! Fuck! _Cas_!”

He was coming so hard, Dean thought it was possible he could pass out right there in his shower. His body shook as pushed out the rest of his release, Dean’s eyes still closed tight and imagined that he was about to return the favor to one very talented doctor. He _really_ wanted that opportunity. 

As his body came down from its high though, reality shifted back into focus and Dean allowed his obligatory shame to wash over him. Sure, he allowed himself this guilty pleasure, but that didn’t make it right. He wasn’t going to stop doing it because his fantasies of Castiel were making him come harder than he had with actual people in the past, and Dean wasn’t keen to give that up. He did know that he had to keep it there though, he couldn’t let his shower fantasies leak into his everyday life.

After a few more minutes under the shower’s hot spray, Dean reached down and turned off the water, watching with sad eyes as the evidence of his weakness swirled down the drain, along with his fantasies of Castiel. 

 

***

 

Dean got to the hardware store about an hour after his shower session, dressed in athletic shorts and a t-shirt from the 5K he ran for children’s hospital a few years ago. Besides the shower curtain, he also needed a few packets of hinges to fix a couple lockers at the fire station. Bobby was letting him do the grunt work around the station until he got full clearance, which Dean was grateful for. It got him out of the house and let him hang out with his work buddies more. He had plans to grab a drink with Ash, Kevin, and Donna on the next night they were all off, and Dean was really looking forward to that. He was anxious to get his life back to normal, with the addition of his new doctor friend of course. 

Dean walked through the hardware store door, otherwise known at Rufus’ Toolbox with a small smile on his face. The place was a family owned shop that didn’t always have everything he needed, but Dean knew the owners and he wanted to support the local business rather than the big corporate place down the street from the fire station.

He waved to the girl behind the checkout counter as he strolled through the front of the store and headed towards the back, where he knew the bathroom hardware was. It only took him a moment to find what he needed, a plain silver shower curtain rod. He checked its strength a few times, with a slight tug on either side to see if it would bend in the middle.

“If you break my shit, I’ll make you buy three of em’.” A rough voice came from behind him, and Dean laughed as he turned around to face the shop owner.

“Hello to you too, Rufus.” Dean smiled and let the hand holding the rod fall to his side. “Good day?”

“Hell no.” Rufus replied back, glaring at Dean. “Linda called out sick and the new girl can barely count on her fingers. I’ve got an overstock of plungers and barely enough screws to satisfy the thirstiest whore in Babylon. Then there’s this asshat over on aisle three that is pitching a fit about light bulb selection. Now I’ve got you coming in here and trying to break shit.”

“Whoa, whoa.” Dean said, still smiling but raising his other hand up. “Just chill Rufus. Can I help you with anything?”

“Help? Boy, I don’t need-”

“Yeah, yeah.” Dean said rolling his eyes. “Fine. If you don’t want my help, you can tell me where to find hinges.”

“Five.” Rufus said gruffly walking past him. “And tell Bobby he owes me a sandwich.”

Dean laughed and saluted Rufus’ back. 

“You got it boss.”

Dean went to the other end of the aisle and headed toward aisle five. As he passed aisle three though, he heard a voice he recognized instantly.

“-be serious. Gabriel, you don’t need red light bulbs. Just use a filter-”

“Cas, baby. Love. I know you don’t know the first thing about my business, but honestly sweetheart, I’m embarrassed for you.” 

Dean’s heart thudded erratically in his chest as he made the split second decision to greet the brothers rather than slip past them into the next aisle. He and Castiel were friends, and friends said hello to friends when they see each other around town. It was the normal thing to do. Besides, Rufus was walking towards them from the other end, and Dean figured he should run interference.

“This is all I’ve got.” Rufus said, somewhat less roughly than he had spoken to Dean. He held out a package of something and Gabriel took it from him. 

Dean walked towards them, catching Castiel’s eye as he approached. The doctor’s eyes widened slightly in surprise, then settled as his lips curled into a pleased smile.

“Dean, hello.” Castiel said, which caused Gabriel’s head to jolt up from where he was inspecting the package and whip around to face Dean.

“Dean!” Gabriel said excitedly. “So glad to see you. Can I ask your opinion on something? You seem like the kind of guy to ask.”

Dean hadn’t even had a chance to do anything more than smile to Castiel in response to his greeting. His eyes shifted nervously between the brothers, Castiel looking resigned and Gabriel mischievous.

“Um, okay.” Dean said dumbly. He caught Rufus’ eye, who glared at him in response. “What’s up?”

“When you’re watching a good porno, is there ever a red filter over the whole scene?”

Dean’s eyebrows shot up, but he barked out a laugh a second later at Castiel’s eye roll.

“My apologies. My brother is rather-”

“This is serious business Cassie.” Gabriel interrupted. “If I’m expected to shoot in this poor excuse for a town, I need the proper equipment. I could order online but you won’t let me ship anything else to your house-”

‘You have your own place now Gabriel.”

Gabriel shrugged.

“So, Dean. What do you think? Red light bulbs or red filter?”

Dean looked between them and tried very hard not to let himself blush as he thought about the pornos he has seen. 

“Um, why does there have to be red anything?”

“For God’s sake.” Rufus interrupted. “Just come find me if you have any more questions. I’ll be in the front.”

Gabriel nodded, but didn’t take his eyes off Dean, who was looking at Rufus like he was the last lifeboat on a sinking ship. Rufus sighed and turned away though, and walked away.

“It’s a Valentine’s day special.” Gabriel answered. “Hence, red.”

“Okay well, I guess the bulbs would be better. A filter would make everything red, which would be weird.”

“Right on, Dean-o.” Gabriel smiled and lifted the package he was still holding. “These are pink, but they might work.”

“Good. Can we go then?” Castiel said with a sigh. “We’re going to miss the movie.”

“Not so fast little brother.” Gabriel replied, eyes back on Dean. “We haven’t even seen how our friend Dean is doing today.”

Castiel sighed again and crossed his arms. He was wearing a black AC/DC shirt and light blue jeans that showed off his muscular thighs. Dean tried very hard not to focus on them.

“Oh, um,” Dean said, chuckling a bit. “I’m good.” 

He held up the shower curtain rod. 

“Had to get a new one of these and a few things for the station.” His eyes went from Gabriel to Castiel. “I swam this morning. You’re right, it’s a hell of a workout. I think I’ll be sore for days.”

Castiel smiled warmly and took a step closer. 

“Really? I’m glad you enjoyed it. But you should be careful, you don’t want to push yourself if you’re not-”

“Yeah, yeah.” Dean rolled his eyes and waved Castiel away. “Don’t worry _Doctor_ , I’m fine. Nothing a hot shower and a massage can’t fix.”

Gabriel’s left eyebrow quirked up suggestively, but Dean tried to keep his mind squarely out of the gutter. That was a rule now, not to think about Castiel in any compromising positions when Dean wasn’t in the shower. The shower was his sanctuary and right now, in aisle five of Rufus’ Toolbox, Dean and Castiel were friends and nothing more. 

“Do you need the name of a good masseuse?” Gabriel asked, smiling wickedly. “I’ve got one on retainer that I think you’d _love_.”

“No.” Castiel said quickly, then blushing furiously. “I mean, I’m sure Dean can find his own masseuse. I doubt he needs your help.”

“Oh, is that right?” Gabriel continued. “I don’t know, Dean seems like the kind of guy who’d like to leave his massage...happier than when he arrived.”

Dean wasn’t born yesterday, he knew exactly what Gabriel was implying, but Castiel reaction interested him. He was immediately against Dean getting a _special_ massage. Could be was just genuinely trying to protect Dean from his brother’s wicked ways, but maybe it meant something more.

Dean smiled back at Gabriel.

“I’ll let you know buddy. I think I’m good for now though.”

Castiel seemed to relax at the response.

“Suit yourself.” Gabriel shrugged. “You know how to get in touch with me, what with you and my little brother texting back and forth like-”

“Okay!” Castiel said with a wide fake smile as he clapped his hands together. “Time for the movie?” 

Gabriel looked more than amused as he nodded.

“Sure, Cassie. I’ll just pay for these.” He turned away before Dean or Castiel could say anything.

Alone in aisle five, Dean shuffled forward slightly and grinned at his doctor. 

“Your brother is a piece of work.”

“You have no idea.” Castiel said with a roll of his eyes. He looked fonder than Dean would bet Castiel realized. 

“I’m beginning to.” Dean answered, eyes shifting to his feet. “So, what are you guys going to see?”

“The new Marvel movie.” Castiel replied. “Gabriel will probably get three bags of M&Ms and be sick to his stomach for the rest of the day.”

“Sweet tooth?” 

“The worst. I keep telling him to cut down, but I’m sure you know how those conversations go.”

“I can guess.” Dean laughed. “Well, enjoy your movie.”

“Thank you.” Castiel replied. “You too.” He flushed. “I mean, enjoy your day.” 

“Thanks Cas.” Dean blinked rapidly as he tried to push away the memory of the last time the shortened version of his doctor’s name passed through his lips. He hoped it didn’t show on his face, because Dean was terrified his body was going to start responding to the nickname the same way it did to showers.

Thankfully, the butterflies in his stomach were trampled by Gabriel yelling down the aisle.

“Weren’t you just bitching about seeing a bunch of guys in skin tight leotards?” 

Castiel groaned but stepped backwards towards his brother.

“Good to see you Dean.”

Dean nodded and waved with the hand not currently holding the shower curtain rod in a death grip. He thrilled at the opportunity to use the nickname again, almost like it was a private joke that would only serve to torture him more. 

“Yeah, see you later Cas.”

He did like to tease himself.


	18. Chapter 18

**Notes for the Chapter:**

> Sorry for the delay lovelies. My demons were getting the best of me.
> 
> This chapter has spoilery content for Captain America Civil War. If you want to avoid any spoilers, when you get to this symbol ~~~, skip to the next appearance of that symbol. It will happen twice. As always, thanks for reading and I hope you like the latest chapter! :)

Dean had nearly finished fixing the last broken locker hinge at the fire station, when his phone buzzed in his pocket.

 _ **Castiel:**_ After this afternoon with Gabriel, I think I could use a drink tonight. Are you free?

Dean grinned down at his phone and immediately typed his response, balancing his screw driver between his fingers as he texted back.

_**Dean: Yeah, sounds good. Where to?** _

_**Castiel: Anywhere is fine. Send me an address.** _

Dean thought for a moment before replying. 

He was thrilled to become even better friends with Castiel, but he had to play this carefully. The last thing he needed was for Castiel to think he was still interested in him, since it would cause him to pull back again, so Dean needed to make sure their evening was as nonsexual as possible. Just two platonic buddies going out and grabbing a beer. He could do that. He _would_ do that, if it meant keeping Castiel in his life.

Dean mentally went through his bar list and eventually settled on a sports bar that he knew wouldn’t incite any sort of romantic vibes. He had gotten into a bar fight there once a few years ago, but he was pretty sure there was no harm in going there now. It was a bit of a dive, but Dean had a feeling that Castiel wouldn’t care. He typed out the address and sent it to him.

 _ **Castiel:**_ Great. Is eight o’clock all right?

 _ **Dean:**_ Yep. Sounds good. See you then.

Dean finished his work at the fire station with a large smile on his face, an ailment that caused Bobby to yell at him more than once, and the rest of the guys to ask who he was screwing.

Dean wasn’t disappointed when he told them no one. He was happy to be seeing Castiel that night, even without the possibility of hooking up. He couldn’t remember the last time he felt like that about anyone. He was simply genuinely excited about just hanging out with Castiel. Dean felt really good about that, a fact that actually ended up making his smile sag from guilt over his daily shower routine. 

He wasn’t going to think about that though. What he had to do to get through whatever he was feeling for Castiel was his own problem, it had nothing to do with his friendship with the doctor. They were two completely different situations. 

Castiel his friend and Castiel the Shower Sex God.

Completely separate entities with completely separate places in Dean’s heart.

***

Dean got himself off in the shower before meeting Castiel that night. He wanted to minimize the need to touch Castiel, to get that awful pressure out of his system. Once he has had his release, he could concentrate on his friendship with Castiel. He wouldn’t be preoccupied with the size of the man’s hands or the curve of his upper lip. These were things he could ignore because he spent ample time thinking about them in the shower. Now, he could focus only on having fun with his friend.

Purposely arriving at the bar a few minutes early, Kansas serenaded Dean with their wayward song as he strolled inside the bar. His first task was to scope out a table in the area that would be serviced by a waitress. Bright flickering lights from the televisions above the bar tried to distract him from his mission, but Dean tried to focus. He needed to find an open table so that he wouldn’t be forced to sit directly beside Castiel all night. He didn’t want to have to deal with the close proximity that would come with sitting at the bar. They would not brush shoulders or knees that night. There would be no accidental thigh grazes or tentative touch of fingers. And if Dean’s legs knew what were good for them, they would stick to his side of the table and not even remotely be intertwined with Castiel’s. 

It only took him a second of perusal before Dean spotted an empty table towards the back of the bar near the first row of pool tables. There was a red and yellow stained glass lamp hanging above his desired table, which would provide proper lighting and prevent Dean’s mind from roaming to the erotic nature of the shadows that Castiel’s eyelashes could throw over his chiseled cheek bones. 

Dean headed for the table, but was stopped by a very familiar bellow from the bar.

“Dean,” Castiel called. “Over here.”

Dean’s head swiveled towards the sound of his name on the other man’s lips, his entire body experiencing the tingle that always accompanied seeing Castiel again.

The doctor was sitting at the bar, which was sparsely occupied. He was half out of his chair, only one thigh resting on the bar stool while he turned towards Dean and waved him over. Castiel was wearing dark denim and a light blue button down shirt, the sleeves rolled up to his elbows. The material of his jeans stretched over his thighs in a way that made Dean extremely curious as to what his ass looked like in them. Castiel’s exposed forearms were a nice compromise for now, but no matter how platonic Dean intended to act that night, there was no denying how frustrated Dean felt at not having a good view of Castiel’s butt at that moment.

He pushed away his desire, steeling himself for an entire night full of moments like that, and plastered a friendly smile on his face. He waved at Castiel, who returned his smile, but his smile was not dampened by impure thoughts. The doctor looked more open than he usually did, his smile easier, his eyes roaming more freely over Dean’s body as the firefighter approached the bar.

“Heya Cas,” Dean greeted.

His hand was still up in a kind of awkward wave, caught by the sight of something he hadn’t noticed before. On the left side of Castiel’s face, just below his eye was a small cut, with black and blue bruising around it. Dean’s eyes went wide and pointedly zeroed in onto the offensive wound, but Castiel just laughed and shook his head as he rolled his eyes. 

“Gabriel.”

“Gabriel hit you?” Dean felt his fingers curl into his palm, anger suddenly pulsing under his skin.

“No.” Castiel shook his head and smiled. “He’d never- No. This was the result of a very angry and rather homophobic Winter Soldier.”

Dean’s eyes widened as his fists became unclenched. The left corner of his lip curled up slowly, as he pictured the ridiculousness of Castiel’s statement. Then Castiel was smiling up at him and Dean thought maybe this was already one of the best nights of his life even though he hadn’t even sat down yet. When he finally managed to pull his eyes from Castiel’s he noticed an empty shot glass in front of the doctor.

“Couldn’t wait for me to get started?”

Castiel’s eyebrows pulled together in confusion, but Dean flicked his eyes to the empty shot glass in front of the Castiel and the doctor followed them. He laughed nervously when his eyes landed on the shot glass.

“Oh,” Castiel said, still half out of his seat. “Something like that.”

He gestured towards the bar and its three televisions.

“Is this all right? I thought you might want to watch the game.” There was something about his expression that sent a flutter through Dean’s stomach and Dean found himself nodding and shrugging at the same time.

“Sure, looks good to me.” Dean hesitated before pulling out a seat at the bar though. 

The seats were close together, almost obscenely so. He had seen men purposely put a seat between themselves at bars, just as if they were standing at a urinal, but the practice always seemed ridiculous to Dean. Now though, Dean found himself wanting to put some space between him and his doctor, if only to save himself from unnecessary torture. The choice was quickly taken from him though, when Castiel pushed his seat back slightly with the foot he still had planted on the ground and then pushed out the seat next to his with his foot.

“What can I get you to drink?” Castiel asked, eyes on Dean’s like he was asking a different question entirely. The doctor's throat bobbed as he swallowed, an almost nervous look in his eyes as he waited for Dean to answer him.

“Whatever you’re havin’ is fine.” Dean finally said, pulling the chair next to Castiel out further and sliding into it. He subtly pushed the seat on his other side a little further away to give himself more room and put some space between him and Castiel. Even with the adjustment though, Castiel’s shoulders were no more than six inches away from his as Dean watched him order another shot of vodka and two beers from the bartender.

“Oh, we’re really going there tonight.” Dean commented. He knew getting plastered with Castiel was a very, _very_ bad idea and made a mental note to only have two shots before sticking to beer for the rest of the night. He made sure to eat a lot of carbs before meeting Castiel, but he didn’t want to take a chance and end up three sheets to the wind and doing something stupid. What that something stupid was, Dean didn’t want to picture exactly, but there were plenty of stupid things Dean could do in Castiel’s presence. Most of which would ensure Castiel never talked to him again. 

So, Dean would not, _absolutely not_ , be getting drunk.

“Just one more,” Castiel replied with a laugh. “I have to work tomorrow afternoon. Practicing medicine with a hangover is frowned upon for a great many reasons.”

“Yeah, I’ll bet.” Dean laughed. “But you’ve got everything at the hospital that you’d need to sober up, right?”

“Yes, but there are only so many times my Attending is willing to look the other way for such things. Besides, Meg is on vacation and she’d be the one to set me up.”

“Ah, Dr. _Masters_.” Dean said it like he had just tasted an especially bitter grape and Castiel responded with a raised highbrow and a snicker.

“Not a fan, then?”Castiel asked, sipping the beer the bartender placed in front of him.

“Not especially, no.” Dean admitted. “She was pretty rude at my check-up.”

“Yes, um,” Castiel flushed slightly and flicked his eyes away from Dean and onto the rows of liquor bottles decorating the wall behind the bar. “She mentioned...”

Castiel trailed off. He brought his beer back to his mouth and took an exceptionally long sip. Dean waited. Castiel, clearly flustered, mumbled something about her bedside manner and changed the subject abruptly. He pointed to the bruise coloring around his eye. 

“Gabriel got us kicked out of the movie theater this afternoon.” He looked like he was praying Dean would accept their change in topic and Dean had mercy on him. Dean was curious as to what Castiel would have said about the conversation he knew Castiel had with Meg after Dean’s check up, thanks to Charlie’s eavesdropping, but he didn’t want to make him uncomfortable. 

“You’re kidding,” Dean finally said, taking his first sip of his beer. He rested his elbow on the bar as he turned his body towards Castiel to listen to him gripe about his brother. “What did he do?”

“Well, we made it through the movie, but afterwards he started a minor...” Castiel squinted as if he were looking for the right word in the bar’s wood grains. “...Brawl?”

“Brawl?” Dean sputtered, barely containing his laughter. “A _brawl_? Gabriel started... a brawl?”

“I can’t really think of any other word to describe it.” Castiel said, clearly still searching for the word that escaped him. “One minute he was ranting about the storyline, the next he was arguing with a group of men behind us. Then, a second group of people joined in on what became a very heated disagreement. Someone threw a punch. Then it was, as they say, all downhill from there.”

“What were they arguing about?” 

Dean had seen the new Captain America movie, and while he was slightly annoyed with certain aspects of it, he didn’t see the reason to revert to fistacuffs.

~~~  
“Well, Gabriel was rather put out about the final fight sequence between Iron Man and Captain America and The Winter Soldier. He was adamant that Iron Man’s rage over his murdered parents was contrived and entirely out of character.”

“The dude murdered his mom.” Dean said, holding up his shot glass to signal to Castiel he was going to take it. “I think the rage is justified.”

Castiel picked up his shot as well and joined Dean in throwing it back. They both made satisfied noises as they finished and chased their shots with a sip of beer.

“I agree that in the story that was constructed, Iron Man’s rage was very believable. However, I have to concede with Gabriel that there was no need for that particular plot point in the first place. My brother argues that Iron Man is too smart to be blinded by an emotional trap like that, but I see it more as sloppy writing. The entire subplot of the villain only wanting to split up The Avengers, it was odd and extremely clunky. I didn’t appreciate it.”

“Oh yeah?” Dean challenged, leaning forward slightly. “How would you write it then?”

“Well,” Castiel smiled, obviously enjoying Dean’s prompt. “First, the entire final fight sequence was redundant. They had already fought. This one was more emotional of course, no one was pulling punches, but it was unnecessary. The story would have been better if there was a different element introduced, rather than recycling what they had already done. It was lazy and uninteresting.”

“More story?” Dean said, balking. “It’s an action movie, how much story do you want?”

“It’s an action movie, yes.” Castiel replied, nodding and smiling at Dean’s argument. “But it’s also just a story about people. Movies are always better when they are character focused.”

~~~

“Um, have you seen _The Raid_?” Dean countered, one eyebrow cocked. “That movie is the shit and I can’t even tell you any of the character’s names.”

Castiel’s brow furrowed.

“That’s... rather odd.” 

“I have it on Blue-Ray,” Dean said before he could stop himself. “If you want to see how wrong you are, you can bring over some Chinese food next week and I’ll show you how little a character can mean to a movie.”

“I don’t think I’d enjoy a movie like that.” Castiel said, eyes narrowing. “Why would you keep watching if there was no one to care about?”

“You’ll just have to wait and see I guess.” Dean said, smiling back his friend and trying very hard not to bat his eyelashes.

“I guess I will.” Castiel responded after a second. “I’m off next Thursday.”

“It’s a date.” Dean said, then choked on his beer. “I mean, not a date-date. Just Chinese food and near decapitations.”

“Decapitations?” Castiel asked, thankfully not commenting on the first part of the sentence.

“Is there anything better?” Dean replied with a smirk, willing the blush on his cheeks to recede. “Is there a second part to your rant earlier or are you going to tell me about the bigot who used your face for a punching bag?”

~~~

“A second part-? Oh,” Castiel nodded. “Yes, right. Second, I think the idea of leaving the movie on such a somber note was a poor attempt at making the movie darker, but it had zero grit to back up that claim. If it wanted to be darker, there should have been darker aspects to the movie. Having Peter Parker make moon eyes over The Avengers and Ant Man make sarcastic comments only served to remind the viewers they were watching a Marvel movie. The quote, un-quote _darker_ aspect was more emotional than dark. And as I’ve said earlier, the emotional payoff felt false and not at all interesting. They wanted to compete with DC movies, but they shouldn’t have. Their attempt at accomplishing both, ultimately led to a very odd finale, making the viewer feel like they were watching the first draft of what could have been a very solid movie. And don’t even get me started on the opening action sequence...”

~~~

Dean stared at the man beside him with his mouth hanging open slightly. That was definitely the most the man had ever said at once. He was only speaking about comic book characters, but Dean felt passion roll through him like waves over broken sea shells as Castiel rambled on. It took Dean a moment to realize that he was still staring in awe when Castiel had finally stopped talking about cinematography and camera angles. He cleared his throat and hoped his mind would clear with it. 

“And what does this mini dissertation on Marvel movies have to do with you getting punched in the face?”

Castiel laughed and ducked his head, smiling down at his legs as he pulled himself together.

“That was rather long winded. Wasn’t it?”

“A touch.” Dean shrugged then brought his beer glass back to his lips. “I prefer Batman, as you know.”

Castiel laughed again, eyes sparkling as he shifted slightly and bumped Dean’s shoulder with his own. His head dipped slightly, but Dean could see the soft smile that pulled at Castiel’s lips.

“Yes,” Castiel finally said, nodding. “I don’t think it would be possible to forget that.”

“I feel like you have an unfair advantage over me. You’ve seen me drugged and saw the result of my drunken texting. It’s not fair.”

“Balance is inevitable, Dean.” Castiel replied, still smiling. “My time for humiliation will come.”

“Good.” Dean said with a short nod. “Now tell me about the asshole that hit you.”

“Well,” Castiel sighed. “Someone else started yelling about the homoerotic subtext between Steve and Bucky, and when I defended her argument I got a rather swift punch to the face.”

“Asshole.” Dean grimaced. He felt his anger return at that, but tried to push it away. He hated the idea of anyone putting their hands on Castiel, but it was done and over and he couldn’t do anything about that now. “They’re never going to do anything about that though.”

“Assholes?” Castiel questioned and Dean snorted.

“No, the Steve, Bucky thing. It’s queerbaiting, through and through.” Dean sipped his beer and pushed his eyes to the television above them. He wasn’t really thrilled about breaching the topic of sexuality with Castiel. 

“I have to agree. It’s a shame.” Castiel responded, finishing his beer with a long sip. “At least there’s Deadpool.”

Dean’s eyes flitted back to Castiel, who was eyeing Dean carefully. Dean knew Castiel wasn’t straight, what with the way his eyes lingered on him sometimes, but this was the closest they had come to openly referring to either of their sexualities. If you didn’t count Dean’s drugged out weeks at the hospital. With how many times he hit on Castiel, there could be no doubt in Castiel’s mind as to Dean’s feelings towards men. 

“Yeah,” Dean said with a sigh, looking back at the television screen and sipping the last of his beer. “We’ll always have Deadpool.”

***

Two hours later, Dean found himself still sitting in the same bar stool. Castiel was ordering their last beers of the night and Dean was staring at him as if he was pretty much the reason the sun rose in the morning and set at night. 

Their night was nothing short of perfection and Dean was far less tortured than he thought he would be. There was no denying how obnoxiously attractive Castiel was, nor was there any point in trying to pretend that Dean didn’t find him equal parts charming and hilarious. These were facts. The dry humor, the soft smiles. The looks of confusion and the passionate response to African Honey Bees. All of it wrapped in the sexiest package Dean had ever been witness to. 

Castiel was as close to perfect as Dean could imagine, but Dean was not discouraged by this revelation. He was grateful. He had a friend that took his breath away. A friend that could make him feel like his heart could stop beating from just one smile, but at the same time feel like his stomach could rip in two from laughing too hard. It was easy. Simple. Two hours of conversation and not a single stall or awkward silence.

Even when their knees brushed under the bar when they leaned closer together so that Dean could show Castiel a picture of Ben with his volcano castle. Dean felt the heat and electricity that accompanied Castiel’s knee resting against his own, but it didn’t make his heart hurt because Castiel was smiling at him and it was really hard not to smile back and mean it.

By the time they were through with the last beer and Castiel insisted on paying for their drinks, Dean felt impossibly happy. Sure, in a perfect world he would ask Castiel if he wanted to go back to his place and then push him against the side of his car and kiss him senseless because waiting until they got back to his place was entirely unnecessary. They’d hold hands on the way back to his apartment and Dean wouldn’t let Castiel get further than his kitchen, before he would be unbuttoning Castiel’s pants and slipping his hand inside. There would be necks to suck, lips to savor, and dicks to swallow. They would make it to the bed eventually, but maybe only to sleep because they weren’t young anymore and two rounds in the kitchen really took it out of a guy in his thirties. There would be slow and languid rolls of their hips in the morning as they fucked themselves awake. Breakfast on the floor of Dean’s kitchen. Maybe in their underwear. Maybe naked. Castiel would have to leave for work but he would press Dean against the kitchen counter and kiss him so slowly, so deeply, Dean would be thinking about that kiss for the rest of his life. 

“Are you ready, Dean?” 

Castiel was staring at him and Dean abruptly pulled himself out of his fantasy.

“What?” Their beers were empty and Castiel was passing the receipt back to the bartender and standing up from the barstool. “Oh, yeah. Right. Ready. Yes.”

“This was fun.” Castiel said, smiling and back up to let Dean slide out of his seat. “Thanks for meeting me. I...well, I’m glad we became friends.”

“Sure. Yeah. Me too” Dean said dumbly, mind still half on his fantasy. “I’m glad you asked.”

They walked towards the exit and Dean was grateful for the time to compose himself before they would say goodbye. There would be no kiss against his car tonight. There would be no kiss, period. Ever. They were friends and there would be no kissing. Dean swallowed and prepped himself for their very platonic goodbye scene.

When they were outside, Dean sucked in the night air and tried his best to look at casual as any other guy saying goodbye to his friend who he absolutely did not want to kiss goodbye.

“So, I’ll see you Thursday then?” Dean said, turning slightly but not facing Castiel directly.

“Yes. Looking forward to it.” Castiel answered, nodding. “Although, I may bring Thai instead of Chinese.”

“Sounds good.” Dean smiled and purposely took a step back, not wanting the awkwardness he felt to extend to Castiel as well. “Well, drive safe.”

Castiel stepped back as well and mimicked Dean’s little half wave from the beginning of the night. “Yes, you too.”

“Maybe have a doctor look at that bruise.” Dean suggested, winking when Castiel rolled his eyes and let out a short laugh. 

“Will do.” Castiel replied. He took another step backward, and Dean did the same. “Good night, Dean.”

Dean paused. Castiel was still facing him, his eyes still on Dean and his smile still ghosting over his lips.

Dean’s mind raced over his fantasy. He wanted it, _God_ he wanted it so bad his skin was practically singing for it. But it wasn’t what Castiel wanted; he wanted friendship and Dean could give him that. Dean would give him that.

Dean smiled and stepped back again.

“Goodnight Cas.”

He shoved down the desire to watch Castiel walk away and instead turned and walked away first, proudly not looking back once.


	19. Chapter 19

**Notes for the Chapter:**

> This one is a little short. I promise to make up for it next time and an interlude from Cas should be up within the next couple of days. As always, thanks for slowly dying with me while these two try to get their heads out of their asses.

Dean officially met the pretty brunette he had bumped into at his apartment pool the other day, the morning after his night out with Castiel. Her name was Lisa and she owned a health food store on the other side of town. Dean had ventured in there once or twice before, on the prowl for ingredients the local supermarket rarely had in stock. Specialty pastas mostly, but sometimes he’d indulge and pick up some of nicer meats and grill them up with Sam. 

Dean ran into Lisa again after his morning swim, this time still laying against the steps when the woman strolled up beside him and wadded into the pool. She wore a coral bikini that looked excellent against her dark olive skin, and she slipped beneath the water in a smooth motion that looked equal parts elegant and sexy. When she surfaced, she was turned around towards Dean and wearing a small smile. 

They spent several minutes engaged in small talk, where they exchanged names and occupations. They talked about how long each of them had lived in the apartment complex and Dean learned Lisa was originally from California. She had moved to Kansas for college, and never returned. After twenty minutes of shooting the breeze and flirting cautiously, Dean asked her if she wanted to meet him for coffee sometime. 

It was a calculated move on his part, something he wouldn’t readily admit to anyone but himself. In the same vein as his experience with Aaron, Dena had hopes that taking Lisa out would help him move on from his infatuation with Castiel. This time though, he had plans to do it right. There would be no hand jobs in the coffee house bathroom. He’d take her out for coffee, and if that went well, he’d ask her to dinner. There was no need to think ahead farther than that. Dean needed a distraction and Lisa seemed like a very good one. He could talk himself out of it by reminding himself about how apathetic he was towards getting serious with anyone, but Dean decided not to dwell on the future. It was a date. A date with someone other than Castiel, which would be very good for Dean since he had been replaying the night he spent with his doctor friend over and over again in his head since the moment he left him that night. It had gone well. Extremely well, in fact, and Dean was anxious to spend more time with him. That was another reason Dean wanted to take Lisa out, besides her extreme hotness and laid back personality, if he was going to keep seeing Castiel, Dean needed to give his mind someone else to think about while he did it.

His coffee date with Lisa was Thursday morning, the same day he had made plans with Castiel to have dinner at his place and watch a movie. If Dean had thought he had any chance with Castiel, he wouldn’t have made the date on the same day or at all actually, but seeing as how he and Castiel were just friends, Dean saw no need to separate his dates. Or, non-dates. It was fine. 

It was all _fine_.

 

***

Dean spent Wednesday evening with Sam, Eileen, and Ben. Eileen made a casserole, to which Ben picked the peas out of and placed on Dean’s plate in the least subtle way possible. He flung them at his uncle using his fork as a catapult. Eileen chastised him, of course, but Sam’s laughter over ruled the moment and it turned into a game of table football where Ben would try to fling his cheese covered peas through the makeshift goalpost Dean made with his fingers. Eileen pretended to be put out, but she clapped and cheered along with Dean and Sam when Ben made his fifth goal in a row.

_You’re a natural, buddy. You should go pro._

_You moved your fingers on the last one. I saw you._

Dean grinned and winked at his nephew.

_Just a little nudge. You got nothing but talent man. Must have gotten it from me because your Dad couldn’t hit a-_

Dean’s hands are abruptly slapped away by Sam and everyone laughs at Dean’s indignant expression.

 _The nerve of some people!_ Dean signs, then crosses his arms across his chest. He pretends to pout another minute then turns to Eileen to thank her for dinner.

_Everything was delicious. Thanks for feeding me._

_You say that as if I had a choice,_ Eileen smirks. _I have it on good authority that it was a part of my marriage vows to feed you whenever you come over._

Dean gae her a large, cheeky smile and nods vigorously.

_You’re damn right._

He abruptly pushed back from the table and began to clear the dishes. Eileen tried to help but Dean waved her away. She fed him, he was more than happy to clean up. Sam joined him in the kitchen once the table was clear, carrying the stacks of plates from the dining room and placing them next to the sink, while Eileen and Ben headed out to the backyard for a game of catch.

“So, have you picked out something to wear for your date?” Sam asks, his voice going an octave higher to sound more like a gossiping teenage girl he was pretending to be.

“It’s not a date.” Dean responded gruffly. “Dick.”

Sam gave him a puzzled look.

“Dude, how many times do I have to tell you? Cas and I are just friends!” Dean placed the plates in the sink and turned on the tap. He felt the familiar prickle of irritation along his neck at being accused of crushing on Castiel again, which he was growing rather tired of. How was he supposed to just be his friend if everyone kept reminding him how much he actually liked the guy?

“I’m getting really sick of having to tell you that too,” Dean went on. Sam continued to look at him strangely, then crossed his arms over his chest and leaned against the refrigerator to listen to Dean’s rant. Dean began to scrub aggressively at the plates. “I mean, sure I hit on him a bit when I was high out of my mind, but that was months ago and I’m seriously getting sick of having to defend myself about this. You and Charlie just can’t leave it alone can you?” 

“Um, Dean-” Sam tried to cut in, but Dean wouldn’t let him. He swiveled around to face his brother and found the little shit wearing the smuggest expression any human could be capable of. 

“No, seriously Sam. Enough is enough. I don’t want to hear anymore jokes about me and Cas. It’s just annoying at this point. We’re friends. Just friends. He isn’t interested and I’m not either. Why can’t two dudes just hang out and be friends without people thinking they want to jump in the sack? Why can’t we just- _What_? Why are you looking at me like that?”

Sam was grinning now, wider than Dean felt comfortable with considering how loud he was starting to get in his rant. Sam just looked at his big brother for another moment before bringing his lips together for a more controlled smirk.

“I was talking about Lisa.”

Dean’s mouth fell open and a small pathetic sound escaped from his throat.

“Oh.” He finally said, barely managing to close his mouth and turn back around to the sink to hide his very red face. He mumbled something about wearing something casual to meet Lisa, while studiously ignoring Sam’s very hard gaze on the back of his head. He heard his brother sigh, but Dean said nothing more and finished washing the dishes in silence. Thankfully, Sam did not interrogate him further, and allowed the monumentally embarrassing moment to slide, something he wouldn’t normally do at all. The fact that he did so though, told Dean that Sam knew how sensitive the whole issue was and probably thought Dean would come to him when he was ready to talk about it.

Just when Dean was about to suggest a game of basketball in the driveway after the kitchen was finished, his cell phone buzzed in his pocket. Sam was still drying dishes, but looked over at Dean inquiringly when Dean pulled out his phone. 

“Unknown number,” Dean said aloud. “Probably a telemarketer.”

“Maybe,” Sam replied. “Although, the last time Bobby called me it came up as an unknown number. I figured it was just something weird with my service.”

“Huh.” Dean said, shrugging and then accepting the call just in case was Bobby. “Hello?”

“Hellooooooo. This is WJGC 98.7 and you’re on air with The Angelllssss! Who am I speaking to?”

Dean’s eyes narrowed while he pulled the phone away from his ear and looked down at the screen, as if that would give him an answer as to what was happening. He heard the person on the phone (a man who sounded every bit like the stereotypical overzealous radio talk show host) say hello again and Dean brought the phone back to his ear. 

“Who is it?” Sam asked but Dean ignored him.

“Um. What?” He finally managed, very confused and searching his brain for which of his friends would call him with such a stupid prank.

“What do we call you young man?” The man asked. “You’re on air live with thousands of listeners, surely you want to give a name to that lumberjack voice of yours.”

“How did you get this number?”

There was silence for a moment then the man laughed in a maniacal way that made Dean jump a little and cringe away from his phone. Sam was looking at him with a confused but amused look on his face and Dean’s eyes were growing larger by the second.

“What?” Sam asked.

“Oh, you know how these things work don’t you? You give your number to the pizza place and they sell them off to the highest bidder!” The voice on the phone says. “Now, I’ve got four tickets to the next Royals game in the studio today and I need to know whose name I should put on them! So what do you say, can you help us out and tell us your name?”

“Um. Dean.” Dean finally answered. 

“Deeeeaaan!” The man said with great exaggeration. “Well, it’s your lucky day my man because you’ve just won four box seat tickets to the next home Royals game. What do you say to that?”

“I uh, I didn’t think radio stations did this kind of thing anymore.”

The man coughed awkwardly.

“It’s throwback week here at WGCJ and we’re pulling out some of our old tricks to bring our listeners some of that nineties charm. Lucky you, huh? Now, who do you think you’ll be bringing along with you to the game? These are nice seats Dean, you don’t want to waste them on just anyone. You got someone special to take?”

“Um.” Dean was shaking his head and scowling while Sam had his hands raised in a question. “Not really... I mean, I’d probably take my brother and nephew.”

“A brother?” The man balked. “You can’t bring your brother to a game like this. No, no, you gotta bring someone _special_. Now I’ll let you decide who that may be, but I’d give it a lot of thought before bringing your brother. Box seats, Dean, nothing more romantic than that.”

Dean was fairly certain there were a lot of things more romantic than that, but he was as confused as to what was happening that he just nodded dumbly and shrugged at his brother again.  
“All... right.” Dean finally said. 

“My producer is going to grab some information from you off air, so we know where to send the tickets to, then you and three lucky friends will be headed to the Kansas City Royals game! How does that sound Dean?”

“...Fine?” Dean said dumbly. “Um, thank you...I guess.”

There was muffled laughter from the other end of the line and Dean was positive he was about to hear a round of hysteria from the guys at the fire station.

“Well you’re more than welcome Dean! We here at WGJC are more than happy to make your baseball dreams come true. Remember to tune in every night to listen to us Angels and we will make sure you have a good time, all right?”

“Yeah, sure.” Dean replied, caution in his voice. “Will do.”

A second later, a shrill sounding woman came on the line and asked where he wanted to have the tickets sent. Dean decided on the fire station, since giving his home address to anyone he didn’t know would be absolutely ludicrous and the woman abruptly hung up when he was finished. He stared down at his phone for a solid thirty seconds after the call ended.

“So, are you going to tell me what that was about or...?” Sam asked.

“I think I just won baseball tickets from a radio show.” Dean said flatly.

“So, definitely not Bobby then.” Sam responded. “Do they even do that anymore?”

“Apparently,” Dean said. “Something felt off about though. I don’t know. The guy was weird. Have you ever heard to _The Angels_ talk show?”

Sam thought about it for a second then shook his head no. 

“I don’t think so. What station is it?”

“98.7. Except I think I heard him say two different names...” Dean held his phone in his palm for another moment and continued to look down at it like he expected it to explain itself. “That was...weird.”

“Yeah.” Sam agreed, squinting down at Dean’s phone as if he was expecting the same thing. “Weird.”

“It could be a prank. I guess I’ll see if the tickets show up to the station.”

Sam nodded.

“So, who are you going to take if it’s real?”

Dean looked up at his suddenly innocent and expectant looking brother and smirked. 

“I don’t know. Donna loves baseball. Kevin and Ash too.”

“Funny.” Sam said, crossing his arms over his obscenely large caveman chest.

“Oh, I know.” Dean replied, smiling as he slid his phone back into his pocket. “I’m hilarious.” He started heading towards the back door to join Eileen and Ben outside.

Sam stayed back for a moment, but then trailed after him in a rush.

“Seriously Dean, who are you going to take?”


	20. Interlude IV

**Notes for the Chapter:**

> Something to hold you over until the next chapter, which is about 5K. Hope you enjoy Cas :)

_Soft hands. Softer than he remembered them. Inias, his hands were always rough from work, but Castiel had never minded. The policeman’s hands had been heavily calloused, not from work seeing as he rarely worked with his hands with his specific job, but from his hobby. He was a wood worker, constantly in the shop Castiel set up for him in the shed behind the house they shared together. Inias would make chairs and tables, ornaments and-_

_Soft hands. They couldn’t belong to Inias, even in a dream Castiel always knew how his dead fiancé’s hands felt on his body. These hands had seen plenty of hard work, but they still slid like silk over Castiel’s chest as he hummed into the neck of their owner. An answering moan came after Castiel flicked his tongue over a particularly sensitive spot on the throat above him, and Castiel felt a shiver roll through his body and head straight to his groin._

_The hands caressed Castiel’s chest and then lower to his hips, where the sharp points of his hip bones jutted out. He looked up into a set of the most beautiful green eyes he had ever- he had seen a pair of gorgeous green eyes recently...Inias had brown eyes. They were big and kind and Castiel spent hours thinking of them after Inias died. These eyes though, they were not brown. They were a brilliant green. Where had he seen these eyes? Who had-?_

_The face around the eyes shimmered into focus._

_Dean._

_Of course it was Dean. Who else could it have been? Dean monopolized his thoughts during the day; why not take over his dreams as well? It had been so long since he dreamed of anyone’s hands on him besides Inias’. Guilt floating in and then out just as quickly. Nothing to feel guilty about._

_Dean’s hands skimmed beneath the waistband of Castiel’s pajama bottoms, his lips working over Castiel’s collarbone in a way that had Castiel panting softly._

_‘Dean.’_

_‘Mmm, Cas. You taste so good. Let me-’_

_Their positions changed. The pajama pants Castiel wore seconds before were gone and Dean laid above him, their naked skin pressed together from shoulder to ankle. Dean’s tongue stroked against his own and Castiel’s hips arched up to meet Dean’s in a sensual roll. Their bodies moved together, pleasure rippling through Castiel’s body as he moaned Dean’s name into the firefighter’s mouth. There were no other thoughts, no other desires than having Dean above him pushing him closer and closer to his release. It wasn’t enough, he needed more. Castiel needed- he was desperate for-_

_‘Dean. Please. Dean.’_

_The weight of Dean’s body lessened. The warm, soft edges of their reality shifted and Castiel felt like he was falling. Falling, falling, hitting the ground with a-_

The doctor jolted awake, his heart thumping rapidly in his chest. He was lying on his stomach and he was very aware of the fact that he had been grinding himself into his bed seconds ago. He was painfully hard, but before he could even think about doing something about it, there was a voice beside him.

“Didn’t get to finish did you?” 

If he were fifteen and experiencing waking up with his older brother sitting beside him in his bed for the first time, Castiel might have jumped up and hurled his pillow at Gabriel as he screamed at him to, _’Get out!;_. As it was, Castiel was not fifteen and he had, at that point, woken up to Gabriel sitting beside him in his bed many times in his life. That afternoon, Gabriel sat on top of Castiel’s comforter, leaning against the headboard and reading the medical journal Castiel had left on his bedside table. 

“Get out.” Castiel groaned his cheeks only slightly pink from embarrassment. Gabriel had caught him in far more compromising positions before. 

“What, and miss you fretting over your naughty dream about Dean? Never.” Gabriel answered, not even looking up from the journal. His legs were outstretched, his ankles crossed right at his shoelaces.

“Get your shoes off my bed.” Castiel said halfheartedly. He shifted slightly and was relieved to find his erection flagging quickly. Wincing, Castiel turned his head on his pillow. It had only been a couple hours since he was punched rather passionately by a man wearing tinfoil over his left arm in a dimly lit movie theater. 

Gabriel ignored his request.

“So, how was the glorious firefighter? Did you let him touch your special place?”

Castiel groaned.

“Leave me alone.”

“No can do little brother.” Gabriel finally lifted his eyes from the journal and looked down at Castiel. “Just imagine how good the real thing could be.”

“What makes you think I was even dreaming about Dean?”

“You said his name. Enthusiastically. Multiple times.”

Castiel groaned again and finally turned over in bed when he was sure he was fully flaccid. Nothing better than having your brother in bed with you to kill an erection. Even the memory of Dean above him, kissing him, pushing against him-

No. Now was not the time to think about that.

“What do you want, Gabriel?” Castiel asked. 

“Well I had plans to wake you, didn’t want you to miss your date, but then you were about to give yourself a little happy and I couldn’t bring myself to interrupt.”

“So you just stayed and watched?” Castiel said no malice in his tone. He brought his fingers up to his bruised eye and pressed tenderly.

“Don’t be embarrassed little brother. It’s all perfectly natural and I had no plans to watch you fuck the mattress. I was just about to leave when you woke up.”

“Well, I think I’m going to shower so-” Castiel cut himself off as he processed Gabriel’s earlier words. “Date? What date? I don’t have a...”

Gabriel’s eyes glinted as he smiled mischievously at him.

“What did you do?” Castiel asked quietly, his stomach dropping then flipping around in his abdomen violently. 

“Just a little push Cassie.” Gabriel said innocently. “You’ll want to go ahead and take that shower though.” 

Gabriel set the journal aside and practically bounced off of Castiel’s bed. He strolled towards the bedroom door.

“Oh, and you’ll probably want to change your phone’s password again.”

Castiel’s eyes widened, just as his heartbeat picked up. He lunged for his phone, accidently hitting it and sending the device flying across the room and into the far wall.

“Fuck!” Castiel grunted, his body going after the phone before he could even stand up. He fell out of the bed and landed on his hands, his legs still tangled in the sheets. “God _Damnit!_ ”

He crawled over to his phone frantically and typed in his password, something that would definitely need to be changed now. Again. The last time Gabriel had gotten a hold of his phone, he had sent an email to his entire contact list describing his perfect date and asking if there was anyone willing to take him on. It was Gabriel’s entirely unsubtle way of telling Castiel it was time to move on, time to start dating again. Castiel kneed him in the balls for that one. 

When his phone was unlocked, Castiel immediately went to the sent folder of his email account but found nothing there. He then went to his text messages and what he found there made him feel like his entire body just burst into flames.

 _ **Castiel:**_ After this afternoon with Gabriel, I think I could use a drink tonight. Are you free?

 _ **Dean:**_ Yeah, sounds good. Where to?

 _ **Castiel:**_ Anywhere is fine. Send me an address.

 _ **Dean:**_ 542 Little River Drive. It’s a sports bar. That good?

 _ **Castiel:**_ Great. Eight o’clock alright?

 _ **Dean:**_ Yep. Sounds good. See you then.

 

Oh god.

Gabriel had made a date with Dean. Well, not a date necessarily. By the looks of it, it just looks like they are going out for a drink. Not dinner, which would definitely be more like a date. Friends went out for drinks all the time, it didn’t mean anything. This was fine. This would be _fine._

Despite his acceptance of the situation, Castiel felt anger boiling under his skin and he scrambled to his feet to find Gabriel in his living room.

“I’d change before going out.” Gabriel said from his couch. “I mean, if you don’t want him humping you senseless.” 

Castiel’s brow furrowed and looked down at himself. He was only in his black boxer briefs. He rolled his eyes and set his face sternly.

“You aren’t exactly subtle, Gabriel. I know what you’re doing and it won’t work.”

Gabriel’s eyes widened as if he was being accused of something truly horrendous.

“What ever do you mean brother?”

“Stop it.” 

“Stop what?”

“Stop this...this thing you’ve been doing for the last year. I don’t need you to find me a date. I don’t want to date. I don’t want-”

“Don’t you have somewhere to be soon?” Gabriel cut him off.

“ _Gabriel_.”

His brother stood up from the couch and came to stand in front of him. His expression had gone from veiled amusement to something much softer. It wasn’t often, but there were times in Castiel’s life where Gabriel was far more compassionate and kind than anyone would think him capable.

“Castiel, I know you miss Inias. He was a good man and loved you.” Gabriel smiled softly, and Castiel felt his lower lip tremble. “But he’s gone. Two years now. You can’t hold on to him forever.”

“I’m not,” Castiel insisted. “I’m not saying that I never want to date again, I’m just saying...” Castiel trailed off and looked down at the carpet between them. “Not Dean.”

“That’s because he scares you.” Gabriel said, taking a step back and sighing. “That firefighter is something special, isn’t he?”

“We’re friends.” Castiel said lamely. “Just friends.”

Gabriel shrugged.

“Okay. Just friends.” He smiled again. “You could always use another one of those, that Meg is a she-devil. So, go have a drink with your friend.”

There was something in Gabriel’s eye that told Castiel exactly what Gabriel actually thought of his relationship with Dean, and friendship was just the tip of the iceberg.

Not seeing a way out of it, and not really interesting in finding one anyway, Castiel nodded.

Despite hating Gabriel’s methods, Castiel was grateful for the opportunity to further his friendship with Dean. Meeting for a drink definitely solidified that they were friends. Of course, there was that ever present tension between them that made Castiel feel like his skin was pulsing under his clothes and his heart was going to beat out of his chest, but, as always, that would be ignored.

Even if he was ready to start seeing someone seriously, Castiel would never let that person be Dean. He had given up on the idea of pushing the firefighter away entirely, he just cared too much for him to cut off all contact, but Castiel had to be careful. He wasn’t even sure if Dean was still interested in him like that, but if he was and Castiel wasn’t cautious, things would spiral out of control quickly. After what happened to Inias, Castiel swore to himself he would never love another man who put his life on the line every day the way Inias did. 

Of course, fate made it so that he would find himself entirely infatuated with a firefighter of all people. Someone who risked their life daily on the job. Someone who Castiel actually met because he had risked his life and nearly died. Losing a friend was one thing, but losing another lover? Castiel wouldn’t allow it. 

If Gabriel knew the truth of why Castiel refused to give Dean a chance, he may call his little brother a coward, but Castiel didn’t care. He would happily admit to his cowardness if it meant he wouldn’t ever have to feel pain like he did when he lost Inias. 

It was a thin line to walk with Dean, but Castiel felt confident that he would be able to keep his little crush under control. Dean had stopped flirting with him, which definitely helped Castiel remember where they stood. As long as he didn’t get too drunk and say something stupid, Castiel would be fine. Except he would definitely need a shot to calm the nerves that already started to creep inside. 

Castiel shifted on his feet.

“Don’t worry Cassie,” Gabriel said knowingly. “It’s going to be fine. You’ll drink, you’ll talk, you’ll gossip over David Beckam or whatever it is you’re into these days, and then you’ll come home. Just give it a chance.”

Castiel nodded again. He felt bad not telling Gabriel the true extent of what he was feeling in regards to his relationship with Dean, but he knew if he told his brother, Gabriel wouldn’t let it die. Instead, Castiel smiled nervously and sighed.

“I’m not going to thank you for this because you’re an asshole.” Castiel said as he walked towards the bathroom to shower. “But I am grateful that you care.”

Gabriel laughed.

“Oh, you think this is for you?” Gabriel shook his head. “I just want you out of the house so I can get naked and rub my ass over everything.”

Castiel didn’t even turn around, but continued to walk towards his bathroom.

“I’ll just send you the cleaning bill.”

He could hear Gabriel snickering behind him, but Castiel didn’t stop moving until he was under the hot spray of his shower. He let his mind roam over what the upcoming evening might bring and ignored the swell of his dick when his thoughts drifted over thoughts of Dean’s smile or the curve of his perfectly sculpted backside. 

The night was going to be about friendship, and friends definitely didn’t masturbate to thoughts of their friend’s ass.


	21. Chapter 21

**Notes for the Chapter:**

> Surprise! My beta rocked mega hard and got this to me tonight so I figured I'd pass it on to you since I made you wait so long for the previous chapters. Let me know what you think afterwards... I'm a little nervous about this chapter!

Dean debated whether or not to vacuum again before Castiel was due to arrive. He had cleaned his apartment to the point of exhaustion that morning before his date with Lisa, but there was something about freshly vacuumed carpet that made him feel more confident in what was about to happen. Castiel was going to come over. They would eat dinner together and watch a movie on his couch. They would talk and laugh and all of these actions would be performed under a blanket of a platonic relationship. 

That part was going to be fine. Dean had figured out how to be Castiel’s friend and leave all the sexual tension burning in the back of his mind to be dealt with later in the privacy of his shower. Right now, Dean was more concerned with showing Castiel a good time. It wasn’t something he usually worried about when he had a friend over; Dean was pretty confident about his ability to be a good host, but there were layers to his relationship with Castiel and each of those layers had to be expertly navigated.

First, there was the just mentioned, ever present, sexual tension. That scorching desire to reach out and touch. That buzz of energy under Dean’s skin that pulsed and throbbed in a direction that left his pants tight and his stomach spinning out butterflies faster than he could convert oxygen into carbon dioxide. That, Dean was fairly confident he could push aside for the time being. He was getting really good at keeping his hands to himself and preventing his mouth from saying things that could only be interpreted as Dean wanting to bend Castiel over the nearest hard surface and fuck him breathless.

Second, there was the doctor/patient aspect to their relationship that Dean sometimes felt awkward about. There was a vague sense of authority in the air whenever they were together, and Dean would have preferred that went away. He wanted to be on even footing with Castiel and feeling like Castiel had a certain kind of power over him that didn’t involve sexy safe words, wasn’t something Dean was keen on. Dean wanted to try and dismantle that aspect to their relationship and thought about maybe bringing up transferring his case to the she-devil. Dr. Masters wasn’t exactly his favorite person, but Dean thought maybe seeing her instead of Castiel for his six month check-up would be better for him and Castiel’s ongoing relationship.

Finally, there was the layer of their relationship that made Dean really care about Castiel. The actual _friendship_ aspect that made Dean wonder how Castiel’s day went and if he had enough coffee to make his cases bearable. The part that made Dean want to make Castiel laugh and see his eyes squint together in confusion when Dean tried to explain the concept of Doctor Who. It was the layer that squashed the butterflies somewhat, because Dean knew that Castiel enjoyed his company and that there was nothing to be nervous about. It was the part of their relationship that Dean looked forward to the most. The effortless part. The part that was just them spending time together.

As long as Dean could get rid of the second layer, he only had the third to concentrate on and Dean was just fine with that. The sexual tension would be ignored, just as it always is.

Dean was just about to go ahead and grab the vacuum again when there was a swift knock at his door. His stomach flipped but he coughed and shook his head to reprimand his body. The butterflies settled and Dean walked to the door and opened it.

Castiel wore a nervous smile above his navy blue t-shirt and he carried a white bag full of something that smelled delicious.

“Hey Cas,” Dean greeted, stepping back and giving Castiel room to step inside his apartment. “Come on in. That smells awesome.”

Castiel passed Dean on his way into the apartment, but stopped in the foyer. He seemed to take in his surroundings slowly, his eyes falling over the details of Dean’s apartment with interest. Dean shifted timidly behind him and closed the door. 

“It’s nothing special but-”

“It’s great.” Castiel interrupted. “Very....” 

He trailed off and Dean followed his gaze to a row of pictures on his mantle. There were four frames, each filled with friends and family, and they were bookended by bobble heads of two _The Walking Dead_ characters. The bobbleheads were cake toppers from his last birthday and Sam’s answer to Dean’s request to have Danai Gurira in attendance. There was also a large painting above the mantle with rolling hills and a setting sun that always made Dean feel both content and pained at the same time.

His mother had painted it. It was the only surviving painting of hers from the fire that killed her. There weren’t many to begin with, since she had only starting dabbling with acrylics a few months before the fire, but that particular landscape had always been Dean’s favorite. The brush strokes were a bit sloppy and the shadows were wrong around a few of the trees on the left side, but Dean thought it was perfect. 

“Very what?” Dean asked, stepping around Castiel to walk towards his kitchen. “Clean? Juvenile? Creepy and now you want to back away slowly?”

Castiel laughed and pulled his eyes away from Mary Winchester’s painting.

“You. It’s very you.”

Dean stopped short at that, his hand half way up to the kitchen cabinet to pull some plates down for them. He wasn’t sure what that meant, but the way Castiel had said it made the statement sound complimentary.

“Thank you?” Dean finally said. “I think.” 

He grabbed the plates from the cabinet and took out silverware from the drawer below it. Castiel had stepped into the kitchen as well and Dean could feel the man’s presence just behind him. The kitchen wasn’t big, just barely enough room for three Sams to stand comfortably, so Dean was very aware of how close Castiel was standing. He immediately pushed away his body’s response to such proximity and placed the plates and silverware on the counter.

“It was a compliment.” Castiel clarified. “I like it. Especially the painting. It’s- I don’t know...” 

Dean turned around to face Castiel, and found him leaning against the opposite counter, only two feet between them. 

“Comforting, somehow.” Castiel finished. “Does that make sense?”

Dean smiled and nodded. 

“It makes a lot of sense, actually.”

“Why is that?” Castiel asked, turning around to open the bags of food he had brought.

Dean was about to answer honestly and tell him about how he finds a lot of comfort in it too because his mother painted it and it somehow, very strangely, always reminded him of happy endings, but then decided against it.

“Oh, nothing.” Dean said, turning back to grab glasses from the cabinet. “I don’t know actually.”

Castiel hummed something that sounded somewhat disbelieving but Dean didn’t comment on it.

“So, are you ready to watch the most well choreographed martial arts movie in existence?” Dean asked.

“As I’ll ever be.” Castiel said with a smile as he opened the containers of food.

“Beer?” Dean held up two different types by the fridge.

“Please. The brown looks good. Thank you.” 

Castiel began scooping out rice onto each of the plates Dean handed him, then spooned green curry and spicy basil chicken over top. Dean placed a knife and fork on each of the plates and then handed Castiel his beer, after pouring it into a glass mug. He had already set up his living room so that the coffee table was close enough to the couch for them to sit and eat off it while they watched the movie. 

“How was your day? Anyone confuse you for a superhero?” Dean asked playfully as he led them into the living room and sat down on the third cushion of the couch, giving Castiel plenty of room. Castiel, though, sat beside him on the middle cushion. There was enough space between them that their knees didn’t touch as they settled in, but it wouldn’t take but a small adjustment to remedy that if Dean felt so inclined. 

He didn’t. 

Castiel laughed at Dean’s joke then sighed softly.

“It was fine. I was in surgery most of the morning, but I had lunch with Charlie and another nurse I work with, which was nice. How was yours?”

“Good. I went swimming, then I had a, uh-” Dean debated for a second, and then decided to tell the truth. “I went on a date.”

Castiel’s reaction was barely there, but Dean saw him blink a few times while his lips twitched into a small frown. Then, his face went blank again.

“Oh? I didn’t know you were seeing someone.” Castiel’s voice was perfectly level, almost too controlled.

“I’m not.” Dean said quickly, and then amended, “I mean, it was the first date. We just met.”

“I see.” Castiel replied carefully. He picked up his beer and took a sip. “And how was it?” His voice wavered and Castiel’s eyes were hard on the title screen of the movie they were about to watch.

“Fine, I guess.” Dean answered honestly. He actually wasn’t sure how he felt about Lisa yet. She was nice and funny, certainly attractive and easy to talk to, but there wasn’t anything incredibly thrilling about her either. “Nothing special.”

Castiel’s eyebrows rose and he finally met Dean’s gaze. 

“No?”

“No.” Dean echoed. He wasn’t entirely sure what it was he was saying no to, since the look on Castiel’s face seemed to be saying something else. “Not really.”

“So, no second date then?” Castiel asked, eyes averting to his food and picking up his fork to stab a piece of chicken with it.

“I, uh, I don’t know yet.” Dean responded. “I mean, she was nice and we got along okay. Seems stupid not to at least have dinner or something.”

He wasn’t sure why he phrased it that way, but Castiel had paused with the chicken nearly at his lips and Dean thought maybe that little hesitation was what he was looking for from the doctor. 

“Perhaps.” Castiel finally said, then slipped the chicken between his lips.

They fell into a sort of awkward silence, so Dean reached for the remote and pressed play. There was tension between them that hadn’t been there before and while it was possible it was all in Dean’s head, he thought maybe it wasn’t. He wanted to cut through it though, so they could get back to enjoying their night. 

“Are you ready for this experience?” He smiled widely at Castiel and raised his eyebrows.

It only took Castiel a moment to shake off whatever it was that had clouded his features a moment earlier.

“Experience?”

“Seriously, this is like an event. I don’t think you are prepared for this.” Dean said, smiling around his first bite of green curry.

Castiel laughed and sipped his beer, the last of the tension floating away.

“Well, you are certainly making it difficult for me to tell you the truth at the end. What if I don’t like it? Are you prepared for such an outcome?”

“Not possible.” Dean said, shaking his head. “You’d have to hate perfection if you hated this movie. You’d have to want to spit in the face of the man who spent hours choreographing pure art.”

“Art?” Castiel laughed again. 

“It is called martial _arts,_ for a reason, you know.”

There was music playing that signaled the start of the movie, but Dean’s eyes were still on Castiel’s who was looking back at him in amusement. They were sitting closer than they had at the bar, and they were completely alone, a fact that hadn’t escaped Dean’s attention but wasn’t something he was concentrating on. He felt the familiar ripple of tension that urged him to lean in and steal a few breaths from the man beside him, but he pushed it aside looked back at the television instead. 

“So you’ve said.” Castiel replied. His eyes were still on Dean’s face, Dean could feel it, but Dean didn’t meet his stare. “And you can’t even tell me any of the character’s names?”

“Well, I may have been a little bit of a liar there.” Dean pointed to the screen. “That’s Rama. He’s the main guy, but Mad Dog, the bad guy is my favorite. That actor is the one that actually choreographed it all. The guy is so-”

“The wife and child don’t die, do they?” Castiel interrupted his brow furrowing.

“No.” Dean said. “Don’t worry.”

Castiel gave a small satisfied sound and went back to eating his dinner. Dean didn’t mean to watch him eat, but he could see out of the corner of his eye the way Castiel held the spoon to his lips when he was engrossed in the action, not taking the bite until a lull in the scene. He also didn’t purposely count how long it took Castiel to take a sip of his beer when the doctor brought the glass to his lips during the first group fight scene and held it there, instead of sipping from it and putting it back down.

Twenty seven. Castiel held the glass to his lips for twenty seven seconds.

Dean snickered quietly, but Castiel didn’t notice, he was too wrapped up in the action. 

“Holy fuck!” Castiel said with a jump after a particularly impressive move. There was a huge smile on his face. The back of his hand brushed against Dean’s bicep to get his attention. “Did you see that? How is that even physically possible? The endurance required _alone_ is a phenomenal feat.”

Dean laughed and tried to ignore the way Castiel’s hand was still lingering on his arm.

“I told you, this movie is the shit.”

They settled back into silence to continue watching, and at some point Castiel’s hand fell away and went about putting more food into his mouth. Dean’s bicep felt like it was burning where Castiel’s hand had been, but Dean ignored that too. 

He also ignored the way his breath came quicker when Castiel shifted on the couch after he dropped his fork and angled his body towards Dean’s, pressing his knee against Dean’s and then brushing his cheek against the denim covering Dean’s calf as he reached under the table to pick up the fork. He closed his eyes and held perfectly still until Castiel was back on his own cushion and became engrossed in the film once more.

Dean ignored the small breath of surprise Castiel let out when something particularly exciting happened and he ignored the way his mind immediately tried to supply him with other ways to illicit such a response from the man again. He ignored the shiver that ran through his body when Castiel’s knee brushed his again when the doctor laughed and the thrill he felt when Castiel leaned over slightly to whisper a question about the plot during a particularly tense scene.  
Instead of focusing on all the things he was definitely ignoring, Dean concentrated on the delicious flavor of his food and drink and the expertly performed fight sequences. He let his mind entertain thoughts of performing some of the moves himself and wondered if he would be able to even attempt certain ones, what with his recent injuries.

When his beer was empty and both their plates were clear, Dean got up to take them into the kitchen and brought them two more beers. When he passed one to Castiel, the doctor’s fingers laid over his own and it sent jolts of something so hot and electric up Dean’s arm and through his body, he thought he might throw up. Castiel’s eyes didn’t meet his though; they stayed focused on movie, his brow furrowed in concentration.

“Thanks.” He said quietly.

“No problem.” Dean answered and sat back down beside him on the couch. They were still not sitting close enough to touch, but Dean could feel the heat from Castiel’s denim clad thigh scorching through the air between their legs. It was just another thing for him to ignore. Dean shifted a little further away from him.

The movie continued and they watched in relative silence. Castiel would murmur his amazement from time to time and they would both laugh excitedly over particularly impressive moves, but they didn’t speak. When the movie was over, they watched the special features and talked about which scenes they found the most impressive. When Dean finally turned the television off and settled back into the couch with the last of his beer in his hand, Castiel did the same, leaning back towards the opposite side of the couch so he could stretch out slightly. 

Dean loved how comfortable Castiel looked on his couch.

“So, your final grade?” Dean asked, one eyebrow hitched up.

“Very impressive.” Castiel said with a nod. “You were right. Five, very enthusiastic, stars.”

“And you’re not just saying that to make me feel good?”

The corner of the doctor’s mouth curled up slightly. Dean ignored how sexy he thought it made the man look.

“No.” He shook his head. “Honestly, that was one of the most enjoyable action movies I’ve ever seen.”

Dean pumped his fist in the air like he had just won a marathon.

“Yes! I knew you’d like it.” 

Castiel laughed.

“Well, I guess you’ve got a good handle on me then.” Castiel’s eyes widened slightly and then he stammered. “I mean, you seem to understand the kind of- well you have good taste in films and so-”

“Yeah, yeah.” Dean saved him and smiled warmly. “I know I’m amazing, no need to babble on about it.”

Something uncertain passed over Castiel’s face before he could stifle it. It reminded him of the tension they had escaped earlier, and something about that moment made Dean ask something he had no intention of asking before.

“So, what about you? Are you seeing anyone?”

Castiel swallowed nervously and looked down at his nearly empty beer glass in his hands.

“No, I don’t really have time to date at the moment.”

“Why not?” Dean pressed. “You’ve been a doctor for awhile right? I know you’ve had relationships before, what makes you too busy for them now?”

Castiel looked up at him and squinted his eyes as he tilted his head slightly, the gesture that always made Dean’s chest grow warm. The doctor seemed to find whatever he was looking for in Dean’s expression, because he was suddenly smiling ruefully back at him.

“Okay, you caught me.” Castiel replied. “It’s not that I don’t have time.”

“So, what is it?” Dean asked, his heart beating faster just from asking the stupid question. He wasn’t sure why he was pressing this, but he thought maybe it would help him take that final leap out of his crush. 

“I...” Castiel sighed and let his head drop back slightly. He looked up to the ceiling as he answered. “I don’t think I’m ready.”

Dean felt like a bucket of cold water was poured over his head. He remembered their accidental graveyard meeting, and who it was Castiel was going there to visit. The doctor had a dead fiancé and, _yeah_ , there was a very good chance that Castiel wouldn’t want to date anyone for awhile. He did say it happened some time ago, but Dean had no idea how long it took to get over something like that.

“Right.” Dean finally said, letting out a slow breath. “Your fiancé.”

Castiel lifted his head and met Dean’s gaze.

“Inias. His name was Inias.”

There was so much warmth in his voice. Dean thought maybe he should feel negatively about that somehow, like some sort of ill placed jealousy, but he didn’t. If anything, it made him feel warmer himself. 

“Can I ask...” Dean shifted a little in his seat. “Do you mind if I ask how he died?”

Castiel smiled and shrugged.

“It’s okay, I can talk about it. It was two years ago. Sometimes it feels like it was yesterday, but...no. It was long enough ago that I should be able to talk about it.”

Dean didn’t say anything, just waited patiently for Castiel to continue.

“Inias was an undercover cop.” Castiel finally said, eyes on his glass again. “He worked in narcotics. When he was killed, he was in deep, I hadn’t seen him in weeks, but his partner came by regularly to update me. The day Inias died, I knew he was gone the moment I opened the front door. Hester, his partner, she looked horrible.” Castiel let out a soft sigh. “I knew what the look on her face meant because I’ve had that look myself, I’ve given the death speech too many times in my career. But Hester, she looked...well she looked like she was about to tell me my life was over. She knew what he meant to me. She knew what we had, what we planned-”

Castiel cut himself off and finally looked up to meet Dean’s eyes again. It looked as though he hadn’t of meant to say so much, and now regretted it, but Dean’s expression was soft and open and whatever he saw in it urged him to continue.

“I was...well I was a mess. For a very, very long time I was a complete mess. I knew it was possible, what with his line of work, but I just didn’t think it would actually happen. You never think it’ll happen to you. But it did happen to me, to us. He died and left me here. It’s not something I was prepared for.”

Dean waited for Castiel to say something more, but the doctor didn’t say anything else. He looked up at Dean and shrugged as he smiled softly.

“So, that’s my sob story. What’s yours?”

Dean chuckled gently.

“What makes you so sure I have one?”

“Your mother died when you were very young. I’d say that qualifies.”

Dean pressed his lips together in a small frown and nodded.

“Yeah, I guess so.” He finished the last of his beer and put the empty glass on the coffee table, avoiding Castiel’s gaze. He wasn’t eager to talk about his mother’s death, but it wasn’t because he was uncomfortable. He was very comfortable talking to Castiel, and there was a part of him that really wanted to share everything with the man. There was another part though, that feared letting himself get too vulnerable. With vulnerability came intimacy, and the last thing he needed was to add another layer to their relationship. Castiel's confession about Inias had already made Dean feel exponentially closer to the doctot, which Dean both loved and resented at the same time.

“You don’t have to tell me-”

“No,” Dean interrupted. “It’s okay, I was just...No, its fine. I, uh, well my mom, Mary, she died in a fire when I was ten. They got her out before the flames could take her but the smoke...it was too much. She had gone back inside to find Sammy’s dog, even though my dad tried to stop her. He knew I’d go in after him if he went in after her though, so he stayed with us outside and just kept yelling for her. I fought against him, trying to get inside the house but Sam was crying so loud, and it was hard to hear anything else...” Dean trailed off at the memory of his little brother screaming for his mother, his eyes wide and red with fear. Dean pulled himself out of the harsh memory and continued.

“The firefighters found her at the back door. The dog came running out of the house a few minutes before. My guess is that she had grabbed him from under the table where he liked to hide, but my mom passed out before she could get outside. Axle must have jumped out of her arms and run out through the dog door. Damn dog.”

Dean went quiet and waited for Castiel to say something. When he did, it wasn’t what Dean was expecting.

“Would you really have run inside a burning house at ten years old?”

Dean looked at him with a puzzled expression on his face.

“Of course. Wouldn’t you? If it was to save someone you loved?”

“Well, when you put it like that...but you were only ten. That’s- well, that’s incredibly brave Dean.”

“It was my mom.” Dean said by way of explanation and Castiel nodded as if he understood.

“And now? What makes you run into burning buildings now? Is it your mother’s memory?”

“Yes.” Dean answered quickly. “And no. I mean, yes I think about her every time I put on my gear and I think about what I’d do differently if I had the chance to go back and save her, but that’s not the only reason. I’m doing something meaningful. I’m saving lives. There’s nothing like it. I’m sure I don’t have to tell you that.”

“No, I suppose not.” Castiel said, fidgeting with his fingers around his empty glass. “It’s incredibly dangerous though, what you do.”

“Yes.” Dean nodded, but didn’t elaborate. His job was dangerous, there was no arguing that.

“That doesn’t bother you?”

“Sometimes.” Dean shrugged. “But I’m on my own, I’ve got no one waiting for me to come home at night. I’m young and soon I’ll be able again.”

“You’ve got your family and friends. You have people that would grieve your loss.”

“Sure, but so does everyone. I can’t really think about it like that.” Dean said, shrugging again. “I mean, a fluffy pillow inspector could get hit by a car and die. When our time comes, it comes.”

“There is a difference between what is or is not fated to happen and living recklessly.”

“Recklessly? You think firefighters are reckless?”Dean’s voice rose slightly along with his eyebrows.

“No, that’s not what I meant.” Castiel quickly explained. “I just mean there is a difference between the pillow inspector who gets into an accident and the firefighter who rushes into a burning building every day. One of those people is more likely to die and it’s not the pillow inspector.”

Dean studied Castiel for a moment, trying to dissect the conversation further into things that were being left unsaid. It was obvious this was some sort of sticking point for Castiel, and now that Dean knew how his fiancé had died, Dean was beginning to understand why Castiel was so opposed to his chosen profession. Instead of delving further into that though, Dean went a different way.

“I’m sorry about Inias, Cas.”

Castiel blinked and looked like he wanted to say something other than, ‘Thank you’, but he didn’t.

“I can’t imagine what that was like...” Dean knew what he wanted to say, but he wasn’t exactly sure how to say it.”But you can’t live your life waiting for the next person to die. You know that right?”

Castiel studied his face for a much longer moment than Dean was entirely comfortable with. Something was passing between them and Dean didn’t know what it was, but he was desperate to find out. 

“I do know that.” Castiel finally said solemnly, his words clipped. “But I don’t see the need to tempt fate again.”

Dean didn’t know what to say to that, so he didn’t say anything at all. The silence hung between them in a way that made Dean feel like he was being strangled with it. They were avoiding each other’s eyes and Dean thought maybe the moment would stretch for an eternity, but then Castiel was pulling his body around to place his glass on the table and then he was standing up.

“It’s getting late and I’ve got an early shift. I should head home.” Castiel said shortly. He wasn’t looking at Dean and his tone was extremely strained.

As far as Dean was concerned, this was a make it or break it moment in their friendship and he wanted to make the right call. He stood up and placed his hand on Castiel’s shoulder, nudging it gently so that Castiel would turn to face him. When the doctor relented and allowed himself to be turned, his eyes were reluctant to meet Dean’s. Dean was determined to earn the man’s trust, to make sure he knew that Dean had no intention of crossing the boundaries that Castiel had clearly laid out. He kept his place and didn’t make a move to step closer. When Castiel’s eyes finally met his, Dean smiled cautiously and dropped his hand from Castiel’s shoulder.

“I’m sorry if I upset you, Cas. You’re probably right to be careful about stuff like that. I know I would be if I had been through what you have.”

The stiffness that Castiel had carried in his shoulders when he stood up a moment earlier seemed to melt away and Dean almost let out a sigh of relief when Castiel returned his smile.

“No, I’m sorry.” He shook his head and looked down like he was embarrassed, but Castiel continued to smile. “There’s a chance I’m a little over sensitive on this particular topic.”

Dean laughed quietly and took a step back so he could walk around the coffee table and put some more distance between them. 

“It’s fine. Don’t worry about it.” He stopped in front of the mantle and looked up at his mom’s painting. “You know, my mom painted this just a few weeks before she died. I used to not be able to look at it at all, it was just too painful. It was a reminder of everything I lost when she died.”

Castiel stepped around the coffee table and brought himself to stand right next to Dean, their arms touching as they looked up at the picture together.

“But now...now I love it. There’s something about it that always makes me feel better when I’m feeling messed up. It’s kind of like a reminder that even the worst things in life have an expiration date. You know?”

“That’s...” Castiel trailed off and Dean could feel his eyes on him. When he turned back to the painting, the doctor finished quietly, “It’s lovely.”

Dean beamed at the man who continued to look up his mother’s novice painting. Castiel was staring up at it, his eyes taking in the strokes probably more thoroughly now that he was aware of Dean’s emotional attachment to it. It was like he wanted to see everything that Dean saw in it, and that sent another flutter of something that felt an awful like devotion through Dean’s body.

Dean and Castiel stood in front of Mary Winchester’s landscape painting for a few minutes more, neither of them speaking, shoulder to shoulder and fingers brushing slightly, until Castiel finally pulled away and headed for the door. The moment felt like it had been left unfinished and Dean couldn’t bring himself to walk the man out. He stayed rooted in place and only turned his head when Castiel thanked him for the invitation that evening. The doctor didn’t seem to be able to look at him either.

“Of course,” Dean replied, barely able to pull a smile to his face. “We’ll do it again soon.”

“I’d like that.” Castiel said back, his hand on the doorknob and his eyes nowhere near the firefighter. “Goodnight, Dean.”

He was out the door before Dean could say goodbye.


	22. Chapter 22

**Notes for the Chapter:**

> We're almost there guys. Enjoy!

To Sam’s great disappointment, the Royals game that Dean had won tickets to was on a Monday, and Sam couldn’t take off from work to go. He had already promised Ben, so that left two tickets to give out and Eileen had already expressed her disinterest. Dean thought about taking one of the guys at the station, but there was ultimately only one person he wanted to go with.

Dean picked up the tickets from the fire station when he went in to help wash down the trucks and check and restock inventory. He also brought a casserole and placed in the fridge before he started his work for the day. The tickets stayed in his back pocket, practically burning a hole in it while Dean worked at the station and thought about the best way to ask Castiel to go with him. He figured they could do another Best Uncle Ever day and bring Ben and Claire to the game. They’d fill them up on stadium food and buy them big foam fingers. It would be awesome.

When he was finished at the station, Dean said goodbye to everyone and pulled out his phone to text Castiel. The firefighter had plans to have lunch with Charlie and Jo that day, and thought he could ask Castiel if he wanted to join them.

 _ **Dean:**_ Hey, you free for lunch today? I’ll be in the cafeteria with C &J around noon.

There wasn’t an immediate response, so Dean pocketed his phone and then headed home, intending to shower before he met up with his friends for lunch. His phone buzzed in his pocket as Dean opened his apartment door and he fished it out while kicking his door shut.

 _ **Castiel:**_ I’m pretty busy today. I may be able to stop by for a minute though. 

_**Dean:**_ Okay, sounds good. Don’t work too hard.

 _ **Castiel:**_ Then people die, Dean. Do you want that on your conscience?

 _ **Dean:**_ Do you want your stress addled brain to repeat yesterdays sleep deprived texting session that included several typos and an unsanctioned emoji use?

 _ **Castiel:**_ I thought it looked like ice cream. I was hungry and sleep deprived as you said. I haven’t slept in thirty six hours.

 _ **Dean:**_ Maybe skip lunch and take a nap then. Can’t have you falling asleep with a scalpel in your hand.

 _ **Castiel:**_ No time to nap. Bring me a cup of coffee?

Dean grinned widely down at his phone. He was still standing in his small entryway. He leaned against the door as he typed out his response.

 _ **Dean:**_ Sure, if I leave now I can make it there in twenty.

 _ **Castiel:**_ Don’t speed.

 _ **Dean:**_ Don’t you have some lives to go save or something?

 _ **Castiel:**_ Thank you

 _ **Dean:**_ Anytime. See you soon.

Dean rushed through his shower, not indulging himself in a quick pull to his cock to save time and get Castiel his coffee before lunch. He dressed quickly, not really paying attention to what he was putting on. It was ungodly hot outside, so he just went with cargo shorts and a t-shirt. He left the house less than fifteen minutes after he arrived and drove to the hospital.

The coffee kiosk stood in the same place it was when Dean brought Castiel coffee for the first time and Dean strolled up to it and ordered Castiel a cappuccino. The barista was an older woman with bright blue eyes that reminded Dean of Castiel. He smiled at her as she handed him his coffee.

“Thank you,” Dean said politely. “Have a nice day.”

“You too sweetheart,” The woman replied. 

Dean walked quickly to Castiel’s office and told the receptionist Dr. Novak was expecting him. She pointed him towards the door that led to the back of the office and then led him to Castiel’s office. Dean stepped inside and the receptionist closed the door to leave him alone to wait.

The office was decorated sparsely. There was a large wooden desk in the middle with a high back leather chair behind it and a scattering of papers on top covering the surface. On the table that dominated the room, there was a computer monitor on the left side and a desk lamp on the right. Behind the desk, along the back wall, was a tall set of bookshelves, filled with large volumes of books. A window in the left wall let in a lot of natural light. A potted plant stood on the floor next to the window, which looked like it needed to be watered and a small minifridge next to a small sofa placed under the window. There were also two chairs directly in front of the desk, presumably where patients would sit when Castiel talked to them about their medical issues.

He didn’t have long to browse the office before the door was opening again and Castiel was stepping through the door, bags under his bloodshot eyes.

“You look like shit.” Dean said with a smile. He held out the coffee for Castiel, and the doctor took it with a roll of his eyes.

“Thank you.” He brought the coffee to his lips and sipped greedily. “I really needed this and I didn’t have time to-”

“It’s no problem,” Dean interrupted. “I couldn’t let you suffer.”

Castiel gave him a tired smile and sipped his coffee again, leaning against the door.

“Your benevolence is appreciated.”

Dean walked over to the small sofa and sat down.

“So, no time for lunch?”

Castiel sighed and looked down at his watch.

“I shouldn’t even be standing here. I’ve got a patient waiting for me in exam room three.”

“Why so busy today? Dr. Masters out?”

“She’s in surgery and our P.A is out sick.” Castiel rubbed a hand over his face. “I had a shift last night at the hospital and was supposed to be able to get some sleep before rounds this morning but Meg’s surgery got rather complicated and I had to cover her patients.”

“Shit.” Dean replied. “Sorry, man. Anything I can do?”

“This,” Castiel laughed and held up the coffee. “This is perfect. Thank you.”

“Want me to bring you some lunch too?”

Castiel’s eyes widened.

“Would you? I thought I might be able to get to the cafeteria between appointments but one of my patient’s came in with an infected incision site and now I’m even further behind.”

“Sure, I’d be happy to. What do you want?”

Castiel shrugged and then looked longingly at the open seat next to Dean on the couch.

“A nap.”

Dean laughed. 

“I can’t give you that, but I can bring you a club sandwich and a cookie. How’s that sound?”

Castiel sighed and nodded before pushing himself off of the door and going for the door knob.

“That’ll do. I’ve got to get back. Thank you, Dean.”

Dean stood up and smiled at the doctor. 

“Sure. Get going, I’ll be back in a little while with your lunch.”

Castiel spared him another smile before disappearing through the door, leaving Dean to trail after him. The doctor opened an exam room down the hall and went inside and Dean could hear his deep baritone through the door. _’Hello, how are you doing today?’_

Dean smiled as he passed the door and headed out towards the reception area, making a mental note to bring Castiel coffee more often.

 

***  
Charlie and Jo were already sitting at a round table near the back corner of the cafeteria when Dean walked in. They were sitting close, practically on top of each other, and giggling about something Dean knew he would rather not know.

He went through the line and got himself some lunch as well as had Castiel’s lunch boxed up so he could take it to him when he was finished with his. By the time he made it to the table where he was anticipating having to threaten to sit between his friends, he found that there was a third person already sitting with them.

“Dr. Masters,” Dean said tersely. “Aren’t you supposed to be in surgery?”

The petite brunette looked up to Dean as he finished approaching the table and took a seat and gave him a less than friendly smirk.

“Just finished. I guess I don’t need to ask how you knew where I was. And just how is Dr. Novak this afternoon?”

Dean was about to snap back at her but Charlie was looking between them comically and cleared her throat.

“Why _hello_ Dean, good to see you!” She elbowed Jo, who was sipping her lemonade with eager eyes that kept darting from Dr. Masters to Dean like she hoped someone would throw them into the nearest mud pit so they could wrestle. 

“Oh, yeah. Hi.” Jo replied, grinning. “Good day?”

Dean ignored their obvious attempts to cut then tension and kept his eyes on Dr. Masters.

“You know, Cas is dead on his feet right now. If you’re done maybe you should go help out in the office.”

“ _Cas?_ Nicknames already?”

“What business is it of yours?” Dean shot back.

“Whoa there, you two!” Charlie said, raising her hands and waving them a little. “Let’s chill a bit. Dean, why don’t you tell us how your date with Lisa went and Meg here will listen attentively and keep her pretty little mouth shut about it, right?”

Dr. Masters gave Charlie an amused smirk and winked at the red headed nurse.

“Sure, sweets. I’m sure it won’t be all that interesting anyway.”

Dean was about to argue, but realized he didn’t have a leg to stand on. His date with Lisa actually _wasn’t_ that interesting. Instead, he ignored the doctor’s comment and turned his attention to Charlie and Jo.

“The date wasn’t anything to write home about. Tell me about your upcoming trip. You guys finished packing yet?”

“Yep,” Jo answered with a wide grin. “New Orleans here we come.”

“You’re still going to come over and water my plants while I’m gone, right?” Charlie asked Dean.

He nodded.

“Yeah. Don’t be surprised if they all die while you’re gone though, I’m not exactly known for my green thumb.”

Dean bit into his sandwich and kept his eyes firmly on his friends, categorically ignoring the other person at the table until she snorted and pushed her half-eaten salad away from her.

“Something to add?” Dean asked, blinking in a way he had seen Castiel do when he was annoyed. “Or are you ready to go ahead and get back to work.”

“I’ve been in surgery for sixteen hours straight. I needed to eat, muffin. Surely, _Cas_ understands that.” She gestures towards the box of food sitting beside Dean’s plate. “I assume that’s for him. I can take it to him if you want.” 

There was an edge to her voice that told Dean how much Dr. Masters knew he did not want her to do that.

“I’ve got to talk to him about something, so I don’t mind going back,” Dean said with a fake smile. “Thanks anyway.”

Dr. Masters stared at him for a moment, her expression unreadable. Then she turned to Jo and Charlie and smiled so sweetly Dean had to ball his hand into a fist to prevent himself from pretending to puke.

“Ladies, do you mind excusing us for a moment?” She stood slowly and let her gaze, and her fake smile, fall onto Dean. “I think my new sexy friend and I have a few things to talk about.” 

Jo and Charlie exchanged confused and slightly fearful looks, then looked to Dean to see what he would do.

Dean shrugged and brushed the crumbs off of his hands as he stood.

“What an excellent idea, Doctor.” He said it wearing his own fake smile and hoped Dr. Masters could tell.

He followed her out into the hallway outside of the cafeteria then crossed his arms across his chest and waited for her to say something. She turned on him and stepped in close enough to be considered socially inappropriate. Dean didn’t back away, just stared down at her with his eyebrows raised.

“Listen Casanova, Castiel is my friend. In fact, he is my only friend. If I were drunk right now, I’d say I loved the little tree topper.” 

Dean couldn’t help but snicker at the joke, but Dr. Masters gave him a disapproving glare and he quickly sobered. He had a very good idea about where this little rant was going and he wanted to cut her off but he didn’t know how or what to say to get her to back off. 

“But you? _You_ are nobody. I don’t mean like in an existential, kind of way. I just mean, to _me_ , you are nobody. I don’t care about you. But Castiel? _He_ cares about you, so I’m going to give you a little piece of advice.”

“Um, okay?” Dean responded, eyes narrowed. He was fairly certain anything she was about to say was something he had no interest in hearing, but he was curious as to what it would be.

“Back off.” Dr. Masters said simply. “Castiel is never going to date you, despite whatever it is that is happening between you. So, for his sake and yours, just move on.”

“Nothing is happening between us,” Dean said with a shake of his head. “We’re just friends.”

Dr. Masters stared at him like he was quite possibly the stupidest person to have ever existed. In that moment, it was very probable that he was. Instead of arguing though, Dean decided to throw the woman for a loop. He didn’t want to give her what she wanted and get into a major pissing contest over who was better friends with Castiel, instead he wanted to ask her something that would end up helping his relationship with Castiel.

“Say, Dr. Crazy pants, do you wanna be my doctor?”

 

***

Dean walked back to Castiel’s office with a smug smile on his face. After a brief pause, Dr. Master’s lips curled into what was now known as her wicked witch smile in Dean’s mind. She agreed to be his doctor with no explanation as to why, but Dean thought maybe she knew exactly why he wanted her to take his case from Castiel. Despite how off her rocker she was, the woman was sharp. She also probably was thrilled to have a good way of keeping an eye on Dean.

She didn’t follow him back to their lunch table, leaving Dean to deal with the third degree from Charlie and Jo. He briefly explained what they talked about, stressing _once again_ that he and Castiel were just friends and that Dr. Masters had zero cause for alarm. He dealt with the rolling eyes and the disbelieving coughs then excused himself to bring Castiel his lunch. Jo called after him to make an appointment with her because he was seriously behind in physical therapy and Dean promised he would. Charlie received a kiss to her forehead before he left, and Dean wished them both a good time on their trip to New Orleans.

When he was finally back in Castiel’s office, the receptionist just waved him back this time, rather than showing him the way herself. Dean only needed to wait a few minutes before Castiel was opening the door to his office and making a beeline for the container of food Dean held out towards him.

“You have no idea how hungry I am,” Castiel said around his first bite of sandwich. “I think the last thing I ate was a tic-tac eight hours ago.”

“You seriously need to take better care of yourself,” Dean replied with a shake of his head. “I can’t bring you lunch every day, especially when I start back at work full-time myself.”

Castiel hummed in agreement and continued to devour his lunch. They were sitting on the small sofa in Castiel’s office, Castiel leaning over his boxed lunch on his thighs and Dean leaning back with his leg crossed over his knee.

“Hey, uh, Cas?” Dean started, not really sure how to start the conversation they needed to have but knowing it had to be done.

“Hmm?” Castiel responded, eyebrows up and mouth full of club sandwich.

“I was thinking that maybe...well, seeing as how you and I are friends now, I was thinking it would be a good idea for me to see Dr. Masters from now on. You know, make things a little less awkward when it comes to the check-up.”

Castiel stopped eating and his jaw grew rigid. Dean didn’t know if he should clarify that he thought Castiel was an awesome doctor and that he in no way wanted Dr. Masters to be his doctor over him but that he was just looking out for the future of their friendship, but he didn’t. Dean stayed quiet and waited for Castiel work that part out for himself.

Finally, after what felt like a very long ten seconds, Castiel finished chewing the food in his mouth and nodded.

“That’s probably a very good idea,” Castiel said when his mouth was free. “You won’t be able to persuade her into completely clearing you for work before you’re ready.”

“Are you saying I would have been able to persuade you?” Dean asked before thinking it through.

Castiel pushed a french fry between his lips, but Dean saw him trying to hide his smile.

 

“Undoubtedly,” The doctor finally responded, eyes on the next french fry to be eaten. “But now we don’t have to worry about that. Meg won’t let you anywhere near a burning building until you’re ready, no matter how many times you flutter your lashes at her.”

Dean balked.

“I do _not_ flutter my lashes!” He uncrossed his leg and leaned forward slightly, making their shoulders align. “Do I look like Betty Boop to you?”

Castiel chuckled and then let his eyes travel over Dean’s body.

“Not even remotely.” The doctor smiled and went back to finishing his lunch. “Then again, I don’t look anything like Bruce Wayne but I was relegated to answering to his name for weeks.”

“Hey!” Dean responded, nudging Castiel with his elbow. “I was extremely high, that doesn’t count! _And_ in my defense, you sound like Batman so I can hardly be blamed.”

“Well, you flutter your lashes like a cartoon character whenever you want something, so _I_ can’t really be blamed either.”

“I _so_ do not.” Dean laughed and leaned back onto the couch again. “You’re exaggerating.”

Castiel turned his head so that he was looking back at Dean. His wide, cheerful smile settled into something much softer and quiet.

“Perhaps.”

Their eyes met in a long, silent exchange. Dean didn’t know what he was supposed to do, but in that moment there was something passing between them and he didn’t want to interrupt it. Castiel’s smile fell away, but his eyes were still bright with something warm and happy. Dean could feel his heart beating in his ears. 

This was definitely not something friends did. Friends didn’t just stare at each other and- look at each other’s lips. Castiel’s eyes definitely just flicked down to Dean’s lips. It was quick, almost completely imperceptible, but Dean saw it. That wasn’t exactly friendly either. It was possible he was imagining things, and that Castiel was waiting for him to say something and break what the doctor might feel is incredibly awkward tension, but Dean didn’t think that was it. 

No, Castiel was looking at him and thinking... _something_. What was he thinking and why did his eyes go to his lips? Their conversations lately had all but spelled out explicitly that Castiel was not at all interested in pursuing anything romantic with Dean, so Dean didn’t know what to do with their moment.

Thankfully, he didn’t have long to wonder because there was a quick knock at the door and then it was opening without permission to do so.

Dr. Masters was standing in the doorway and glaring at him.

“Sorry to interrupt Castiel, but Mr. Anderson refuses to let me examine him. You’re up.”

Castiel cursed under his breath but nodded.

“Tell him I’ll be there in a minute,” Castiel said quickly, standing and walking over to his desk.

“Will do.” Dr. Masters replied, eyes on Dean and cocking an eyebrow up accusingly before she closed the door again.

“Sorry to run out like this,” Castiel said as he placed his empty lunch container in the trash. “Mr. Anderson is a prick and that is putting it lightly.”

Dean laughed and stood up.

“No problem. Glad you were able to eat.” Dean made his way towards the door, then stopped. “Say, uh, are you working Monday, two weeks from now?”

Castiel’s brow furrowed, but he rounded the desk and tapped at his keyboard with his eyes on his computer.

“No actually,” Castiel replied. “I’ve got an early surgery Tuesday morning though. Why?”

“I’ve got four tickets to a Royals game and I’m taking Ben. I thought maybe you and Claire might want to join us.”

Castiel straightened and let a smile pull at his lips.

“I think _Claire_ would love that,” He teased.

“And you?” Dean asked, very aware of how his eyelashes were moving.

Castiel laughed, his cheeks going a lovely shade of pink that sent a thrill down Dean’s spine.

“I think I can suffer through.”

Dean laughed easily, but his fingers around the doorknob gripped tightly, completely unwilling to turn and open the door and end his time with the doctor.

“Well thanks then. I’m glad I can provide you somewhat passable entertainment.”

Castiel laughed at that, but shook his head

“We’ll both be very happy to join you and Ben at the game. I just need to double check with Jimmy first.” Castiel moved around the desk and towards him.

“Sure,” Dean said, his voice wavering slightly at Castiel’s approach. “Sounds good, just let me know.”

“I’m sure it’ll be fine,” Castiel replied. He was moving slower towards the door, the door that Dean was blocking and knew he should go about opening soon.

Then Castiel stopped, just a foot away and waited. His eyes on Dean’s and completely unreadable. Dean swallowed nervously, his mind racing a mile a minute, but Castiel looked like he could be calculating pi in his head.

“I really need to go now.” Castiel said quietly, eyes still locked with Dean’s.

“Right.” Dean said, his voice sounding hoarse. “Yeah, okay.”

He blinked away the thoughts that would inevitably find him in the shower that night, and turned the knob to open the door, stepping to the side so he could swing it open. He waited a moment, and then gestured with his hand towards the hallway.

“After you, Doc.”

Castiel smiled and gave him a small nod.

“Thank you Dean.” The doctor stepped through the doorway, his shoulder brushing Dean’s chest as he passed him. “I’ll let you know later tonight about the game.”

“Yeah, sure,” Dean replied. “Talk to you later.”

He watched as the doctor walked down the hallway and disappeared into an exam room. Dean stood in the doorway of Castiel’s office going over the moments that had just passed between them, his head spinning. He wasn’t sure what was happening, but after their epic stare contest, Dean was beginning to think that Castiel was more interested in him than the doctor might want to admit.


	23. Chapter 23

**Notes for the Chapter:**

> I honestly don't know how to hold back chapters once I have them ready for you. I am such an excited little third grader, I swear. Please enjoy :)

Two weeks after Dean was left alone in the doorway of Castiel’s office, befuddled and overwhelmed, Dean was no closer to figuring out what was really going on in his relationship with Castiel.

They spent three evenings together in those two weeks, two of them at Dean’s apartment and one at the movie theater. Dean cooked him his famous risotto one night and they ordered pizza the other. Castiel brought over a nice bottle of Malbec on the night Dean cooked, which Dean enjoyed despite not really knowing anything about wine. The night they had pizza, Castiel brought over a six pack of beer that Jimmy had brewed at home. Dean was weary, but the beer was bittersweet and went perfectly with their pizza. When they went out to the movie theater, they shared a very large tub of popcorn and an oversized bag of M&Ms. Castiel scoffed at the junk food, but Dean silenced him with a zip lock bag of dried fruit that he had brought especially for him. The look on Castiel’s face when Dean produced the bag for him was one Dean thought he’d never forget. Bewildered adoration.

When they got together at Dean’s apartment, they began watching BBC’s Sherlock, which Castiel instantly fell in love with. The doctor insisted on watching two episodes both nights they spent together, despite how incredibly long the episodes were. Dean didn’t mind though, he loved every moment he got to spend with Castiel. As long as they didn’t make eye contact for too long, the evenings went off without a hitch. Their friendship was effortless.

Dean told Castiel about his father, and the sleepless nights that came along with looking after his alcoholic father, and Castiel told Dean about his older brother Luke, who was currently spending sixty to life in prison for double homicide. The fire fighter also learned the names of Castiel’s other siblings. There was the oldest, Michael, then Luke, Gabriel, Castiel and Jimmy, and then a younger sister named Anna. Dean listened attentively as Castiel told stories about his family, and Castiel laughed at the pranks Dean used to play on Sam.

There were arguments too.

It only took two days after Dean brought Castiel lunch in his office for them to have their first argument, if that’s even what it was. Dean texted Castiel to complain about his pool closing for renovation, which then led to a very heated debate about which of type swimming stroke was the best exercise. An argument that ended up being transferred to a phone call when Castiel was through with work. The clash included comments like, _’That’s completely ridiculous, the breast stroke is in no way inappropriate for a public swimming pool, Dean. Do you even know what it is?’_ and _’Did you seriously just say that my face was a backstroke, Cas? Seriously? That’s your insult? Are you five?’_

Once the arguments started, they didn’t stop. Dean and Castiel argued about what type of milk tastes better in coffee and which Avenger was truly the most altruistic. They passionately disagreed about Sherlock’s relationship with John on the show they were working their way through. Dean felt the characters were in love with each other, but Castiel thought it was perhaps only one sided- although he wouldn’t commit to which character was the one in love. Then there was the epic throw down where the two men practically yelled at each other over who would win in a fight between a caveman and an astronaut. That particular argument that left them red faced and out of breath. There was so much pent up frustration between them, which was a fact that Dean was painfully aware of but didn’t understand. The disagreements were more thrilling than anything else though, and quarrelling was an easy way to release some of that stifled energy that both of them seemed to be boiling over with.

However, there were still those moments when their heartfelt conversations, stimulating arguments, or playful jokes would fall away, and then Dean and Castiel would be left with nothing but their own beating hearts. It was between those heart beats that Dean felt like the world was spinning and he was expected to do something to stop it, but he didn’t know how. It was the times when Castiel’s eyes would meet Dean’s and they would forget what they were talking about and fall into a thick silence. Or, when Dean’s fingers would brush over Castiel’s when passing him his silverware and linger because Dean was finding it harder and harder not to. It was in small gestures, like Castiel bringing Dean a Mad Dog bobble head from the movie they had watched, just because he saw it at the store and thought of him. Or, when Dean continued to bring Castiel coffee at work, just to make sure the doctor continued to be caffeinated. 

They had settled into the kind of relationship that felt like a warm wool blanket, comforting in its heat, but scratchy against the skin. Dean loved his friendship with Castiel, but it was becoming harder to ignore that it just wasn’t enough. He wanted more. He wanted it all.

The morning of the Royals game, Dean stayed in bed an extra fifteen minutes after his alarm went off. He didn’t have long before he needed to pick up Ben, but Dean found himself procrastinating. He was looking forward to spending the day with his nephew and the person who had taken residence in his heart and refused to be evicted, but his frustration over their situation left him feeling less enthused about getting out of bed. 

Sure, he would get to spend the entire day with some of his favorite people, but he would also be in his head dissecting every little look and accidental touch. It was hair pullingly confusing, and Dean almost wished he could go back to the time when he was positive that Castiel wasn’t at all interested in him. Of course, on paper that was still the situation they were in, but Dean had sat through too many charged moments now to dismiss the idea altogether. He was now willing to admit that it was _very_ possible that Castiel was interested in him romantically, but that he just wouldn’t allow himself to go there because of the dangerous firefighter thing, a fact that annoyed Dean greatly. Yes, his job was dangerous, but the actual casualty rate for firefighters happened to be extremely low. In fact, more fishermen died per year than firefighters. If Castiel was going to turn him away only because he was a firefighter, then Dean was going to have to do something about that.

After his alarm went off for the third time, Dean got out of bed and showered quickly. He packed a few snacks for the drive and grabbed a couple bottles of water, then headed out to pick up his nephew. Sam and Eileen had packed Ben a small backpack with sunscreen, a hat, and a few snacks for him to share with Claire at the game. They were going to meet Castiel and Claire there, and Dean was happy to have some time alone with his nephew.

When they were well on their way, Ben signed,

 _Can I get a funnel cake? I’ve never had one and Daddy says they are really good._

Dean steered with his knee and signed back,

_Of course, you can’t go to a ball park and not get a funnel cake._

Ben beamed back at him.

_I’m really excited that Claire is coming too. She is my best friend. Is Castiel your best friend?_

Dean smiled then shrugged kind of awkwardly.

_I think he might be. It’s hard to tell with grownups sometimes. It’s not easy like when you’re a kid._

Ben nodded like he understood and then went back to watching the trees pass by through the passenger window. Dean turned on the radio and let Lynyrd Skynyrd calm any nerves that crept up on the ride to the ballpark. When they arrived, Dean led Ben towards the ticketing counter then texted Castiel to tell him where to meet them. He got the tickets from will-call then pulled Ben aside.

_On your best behavior, okay? Stay close, buddy. This is a big crowd._

_Okay._

Dean held Ben’s hand as they moved through the crowd of people to stand under the sign he had asked Castiel to meet them at. It was Ben who spotted them first, his hand shooting up and waving wilding. Dean followed his eye line to find Claire pulling Castiel roughly through the crowd of people, Castiel smiling but rolling his eyes over his niece’s overexcitement as his gaze fell to Dean. Dean smiled back and felt a lot of his frustration from that morning slip away. 

“Someone has been talking about this for forty-eight hours straight,” Castiel said when they reached them. 

“Well, geez Cas, I bet Claire was getting really tired of hearing about it then.” Dean replied with a smirk, to which Castiel playfully slapped his arm.

“You guys ready for some baseball?” Dean said aloud as he signed to Ben. His nephew nodded enthusiastically and Claire cheered. The kids fell into a signing conversation about funnel cakes and walked between Dean and Castiel as Dean led them towards the ticket check-in and the security checkpoint. Once through, they stopped at one of the open gallery areas to let the kids look down at the field.

“It has been a long time since I’ve been to a game.” Castiel said, sunglasses blocking his eyes from view. Dean didn’t like not being able to see the doctor’s eyes, they usually told him so much about what his friend was feeling. 

“Me too,” Dean responded. “Glad you guys could come. Ben’s never been before.”

“Claire has been to quite a few,” Castiel replied. “It is usually Gabriel’s thing to do with her, though.”

“Really?” Dean asked. “Is Gabriel really into baseball?”

“Obsessive is more like it,” Castiel answered. “He has his own boxseats and everything.”

“Fancy.” Dean said with a laugh. There was something about Gabriel having box seats at a stadium that he hadn’t even been living near that long that seemed strange to Dean, but he didn’t comment on it.“Well, we’re fancy today too. Should we go ahead and find our seats?”

“Sure.” Castiel pulled on Claire's hand lightly and Dean signed to Ben that they were going to go find their seats.

It only took them a few minutes to get to their seats. It was closed off with glass panels and the area was air conditioned. They had their own waitress and three television screens with different angles of the field. They also had a perfect view of the field itself through the window in front of their seats.

“This is nice.” Castiel said, taking off his sunglasses and putting them on a nearby table. “How’d you say you got these tickets?”

 

“Um, its weird actually,” Dean started. “I won them-”

“These are just like Uncle Gabe’s seats!” Claire exclaimed, signing as best she could to Ben as she spoke. “He brings me here sometimes and buys me a bunch of food. I threw up once but I’m not supposed to tell my parents about that.”

Dean and Castiel shared a long look, then looked around the boxed in area.

“Just like Uncle Gabe’s seats, huh?” Dean asked, arms crossing across his chest.

“Oh yeah, the tables are the same and the poster there-” She pointed to a poster of the 2013 Royals line-up, “That’s the same too.”

Castiel’s eyes narrowed down at his niece, then lifted back up to Dean. He looked cautiously puzzled, like he was figuring out something dangerous.

“How did you say you won these seats?” 

“A radio DJ called and gave them to me...” Dean said, trailing off as he put two and two together. He felt like the biggest idiot for not having realized the truth sooner. Instead of being annoyed though, like Castiel suddenly appeared to be, Dean laughed. 

“Your brother is a nutcase.”

Castiel sighed loudly and walked around to one of the seats to sit down.

“Yeah, he’s something alright. I’m sorry about this.” Castiel shook his head and rubbed his hand over his face. “It’s terribly embarrassing.”

Dean laughed again and took the seat next to Castiel. Ben and Claire sat to his right and began playing a game with their hands where they clap to a certain rhythm. 

“No, don’t worry about it. I mean, it’s weird as hell and I kind of wonder if Gabe might need psychiatric help, but its not a big deal. Why do you think he did it?”

Castiel let out a strained laugh and pulled his head out of his hands to look at Dean.

“I have a few guesses.”

Dean did too, but he wasn’t going to be the one to voice them.

“Care to share with the rest of the class?” He asked instead, smiling kindly and hoping Castiel would feel comfortable enough to tell the truth.

“Well,” Castiel said, sitting back in his chair to look out at the field. “Honestly? I think he is quite taken with you. You’re all he talks about. It’s becoming rather annoying, actually.”

Castiel’s face was completely blank, not a hint of humor in it. Dean knew this, because he was waiting for the crack of a smile to tell him Castiel was kidding, but it never came.

“You’re joking.” Dean said carefully, “You’re- tell me you’re joking.”

Castiel turned to look at Dean with a serious expression on his face.

“What? Is there something wrong with my brother?”

Dean’s eyes widened and he leaned back slightly with one hand raised as if testifying in a very awkward court.

“What? No, no. Gabriel is fine, totally fine. I just- I didn’t really think- I mean it’s not that he isn’t attractive or anything, I mean he is a pretty cute guy but I’m just not really interested. Not that he isn’t interesting, I mean- no, he is definitely interesting, just not to me. Wait, that didn’t sound good. What I mean-”

Castiel’s austere looking expression slowly morphed into a sly smile that pulled up at the edges until his teeth were showing and his shoulders were shaking with laughter.

“You bastard!” Dean laughed and pushed at Castiel’s arm. “You- I can’t believe you.”

“You should have seen your face! Trying _so_ hard… to be nice and hide how ….appalled you that Gabriel…might like you!” Castiel was laughing so hard he was barely able to get out the words. He doubled over and clutched his stomach.

“Oh yeah, laugh it up. Laugh all you want.” Dean crossed his arms and pretended to be offended. The waitress walked in then and Dean turned his attention towards her. 

“Um, excuse me? Can I please have a pilsner and two lemonades?”

The waitress nodded and then looked to Castiel who suppressed his laughter long enough to meet her gaze.

“And for you, Sir?”

“Oh, nothing for him.” Dean answered quickly. “He is too full of shit to have much room for anything else.”

Castiel bursted into laughter again, but managed to order himself a beer before waitress left to get their drinks.

“So, besides Gabriel’s undying love for me, why do you think he went through the trouble of pretending to be a radio talk show host just to give me tickets to a baseball game? Why not just offer them himself?”

“That’s not exactly how Gabriel operates,” Castiel answered. “He likes to manipulate situations to create the most amusement for him.”

“But what exactly is the situation being manipulated?” Dean pressed.

“Well,” Castiel sighed and leaned back in his chair again, eyes on his niece and Ben for a moment before flicking back to the field. “He is anxious for me to make new friends. I assume this was his way of trying to push you into spending time with me, which is humiliating to say the least.”

“I didn’t have to take you though. To be honest, I asked Sam first but he couldn’t go.”

Castiel shrugged. 

“Who knows what exactly goes on in my brother’s head. I stopped trying to understand his motives a long time ago.” 

There was an edge to the doctor’s voice that made Dean feel like he wasn’t being completely honest with him, but Dean decided not to push it. If Castiel didn’t feel comfortable telling him whatever it was he was holding back, then who was Dean to force him to. Of course, things would be a lot easier in his head if he knew exactly what was going on in Castiel’s.

Their drinks arrived when Ben was teaching Claire and Castiel how to sign the National Anthem and Dean looked on with happy smile. It was sweet, the way Castiel brightened around his niece and now Dean’s nephew, it made Dean wonder if Castiel had ever thought about having children of his own. Dean was looking forward to starting a family himself, he just had to find the right person to settle down with first. 

When the National Anthem was through and the players were on the field taking their positions, Claire and Ben stood with their noses pressed to the glass as they watched.

“Be sure to thank your brother for me.” Dean found himself saying a couple minutes later. “This will definitely be a highlight of Ben’s summer.”

“I’ll thank him right after I throttle him.” Castiel replied, smiling through his threat. “It is a great day for a game, though.”

Dean nodded his agreement and they fell into companionable silence as they watched the visiting team score the first run of the game. Dean liked baseball a lot, but he couldn’t concentrate on the game with Castiel’s knee bumping into his every few minutes and the knock of the doctor’s elbow against his forearm when he went to use the arm rest. It was both distracting and confusing and Dean was getting really tired of it. 

“Why did you pick such a crappy beer, Cas?” Dean blurted out right after Castiel’s shoulder brushed against his. “I mean, they had a wide range of craft beers and you choose a Sierra Nevada?”

Castiel looked down at his beer with a disgruntled look on his face and met Dean’s glare with an affronted expression of his own. Dean didn’t blame him, Sierra Nevada was actually a pretty good beer and he enjoyed one from time to time, but for some reason his tongue had decided to nag at Castiel and bitching about his beer choice was the first thing he could come up with.

“Um, I like it?” Castiel said pointedly. “Why did you choose the one that tastes like someone’s toilet water?”

Dean recoiled for a brief second, but then leaned closer than he had been before.

“Excuse me, but a Pilsner is a perfectly respectable beer _and_ this one is local.” Dean replied sharply.

“You can’t honestly be comparing your backwoods local hillbilly pilsner to the complex flavor that is Sierra Nevada’s pale ale.” Castiel said with disbelief.

“I can and I will.” Dean responded immediately. “You can’t honestly tell _me_ that big business beer of yours tastes any better than mine.”

Castiel rolled his eyes, but then placed his beer on the table beside his chair and reached for the beer in Dean’s hand. Dean pulled it out of reach and wagged his finger at him.

“Nuh uh, why would I share my delicious beverage with someone whose lips taste like corporate greed?”

 _”Corporate greed?”_ Castiel echoed incredulously. “Are you insane?”

“Possibly.” Dean replied succinctly, but relented and let Castiel take his beer from his hand when the doctor pressed forward again into his space. “Fine, take her. She’s too good for you though. I hope you know that.”

Castiel rolled his eyes at Dean and brought the glass to his lips for a careful taste of the firefighter’s beer. He smacked his lips dramatically, then cast his eyes up to the sky like maybe the answer to whether he liked the beer was written in the clouds. 

Finally, he passed the beer back to Dean and gave him a playful smile.

“Repulsive. Thank you for the confirmation.”

Dean retaliated by lunging for the doctors beer, scaling over Castiel’s seat, not to mention his body, to reach the Sierra Nevada that still sat on the table. Castiel didn’t try to push him away, instead he laughed and grabbed the beer first, pulling away and arching his body up and back so that the beer stayed out of Dean’s reach. Their position, which now included Dean’s chest pushing against Castiel’s and their faces brushing lightly, was the closest they had ever been. Dean could feel the slight stubble of Castiel’s chin against his temple and the sensation sent heat from his face all the way to his groin. Dean’s mind instantly supplied him with thoughts of what it would feel like to have the rough skin of Castiel’s stubbled cheeks rubbing between his thighs or nuzzling between his shoulder blades as the doctor panted behind him.

They both froze when they realized how their bodies were connected, their laughter dying out as their eyes met. Dean had to crane his neck slightly to look directly into Castiel’s eyes, and when he did, he found them full of something Dean could definitely relate to.

Dean pulled back quickly and Castiel straightened as well, pulling his t-shirt down which had ridden up slightly in their tussle. Dean coughed awkwardly and said something about the game in Claire and Ben’s direction, avoiding Castiel’s eye. A few seconds later felt the cold press of condensation clinging to glass on his exposed forearm, and turned to find Castiel pressing his beer towards him.

“Try to tell me this isn’t better than yours.” 

There was a nervous look in his eyes and a barely there tremor in his voice. Dean thought maybe the doctor was just trying to push through the sexually charged moment from seconds ago and Dean was grateful to him for it.

“Fine.” Dean said with an exaggerated huff. “But I’ll probably need a chaser.” 

Castiel rolled his eyes and sighed like Dean was being entirely unreasonable. Which, granted, he _was_. He brought the beer to his lips and pretended to be terrified, pinching his nose like a third grader and wincing around the incredibly small sip he took.

“You’re ridiculous, you know that?” Castiel said, but Dean could hear nothing but adoration in his voice.

Dean nodded and passed the beer back to Castiel. He hated the frustrating tension that just seemed to live under his skin now, and he was looking for anyway to relieve it. He did end up taking Lisa out to dinner one night, but couldn’t even manage to take her up on her offer to come inside for “coffee.” He did kiss her goodnight, but it was passable at best. He knew what he wanted and knowing exactly how far away from it he was, was staring to really get to him.

“No arguments here.” Dean said begrudgingly, sitting back in his seat and fixing his eyes back on the game. The Royals had scored sometime during their argument, which perked him up a bit.

The box fell into silence. Claire and Ben were busy watching the game, Ben teaching Claire various signs for baseball related words, while Dean sulked in his chair like a child. He could feel Castiel’s eyes on him from time to time, but he didn’t have the energy to pretend like their very meaningful looks were actually _meaningless_ , so he just avoided it all together for a few minutes. That’s all he needed, a few minutes of not having it feel like his very soul was being examined while his stomach fluttered incessantly with traitorous butterflies. A few minutes of not having to look into those gorgeous blue eyes and know the owner of them might never be his. A few _fucking_ minutes of peace, where he wasn’t falling in love with someone who refused to admit he might be feeling the same way.

He hated every second of it.

They ordered a late lunch after several rounds of peanuts and popcorn. Hotdogs all around, with French fries and onion rings. Castiel murmured something about eating nothing but vegetables for the next few days, and Dean rolled his eyes affectionately at him. They were on their feet from time to time, cheering on a rather close game. Ben and Claire were both covered in Royals gear before the end of the game, their uncles doting on them by way of baseball hats and t-shirts. The funnel cakes came later, and all four faces in the box were victims to the powdered sugar curse.

Castiel had managed to eat the most cleanly, only a small dab of powder sugar on his chin that he wiped away with the back of his wrist before Dean could comment on it. Dean, however, had white sugar all over his face according to Castiel’s wondering thumb. 

He’d be watching the game, sipping his beer and tearing a piece of funnel cake off when Castiel’s thumb would press into his cheek and wipe a bit of sugar away. Dean wasn’t startled necessarily, but the contact did alert him to the all the problems he had yet to alleviate. The second time it happened, Dean was in the middle of telling Castiel about the last time he had been to a baseball game with his dad, and Castiel’s thumb reached up and pulled at the corner of Dean’s mouth. _‘Sorry,_ ’ Castiel had said, wearing a smile so innocent it could only be wicked. _‘You really are a messy eater._ ’ 

The third time it happened, Dean caught Castiel’s wrist right before his thumb made contact with the crest of his bottom lip. Dean wondered what he had done in a previous life to deserve such torture, but his answer never came. Instead, Castiel shrugged and gave him that innocent smile again.

“Apologies.” Castiel said, pushing his gaze back to the game. “It was distracting.”

Dean said nothing in response. 

He knew his lips had been distracting Castiel for the last few minutes because his eyes would travel down there every so often and then snap back up as if burned. It was a whole new level of frustration. Knowing that Castiel had an inordinate interest in his lips was one thing, but also knowing that Castiel did not _want_ to be so preoccupied, tormented Dean just as much, if not more.

Why was he resisting so much? It couldn’t possibly be just his job, there had to be something else. What was it?

By the top of the ninth inning, the kids’ interest was waning and the Royals were three runs down. Ben and Claire were requiring more entertainment from them than they had all day, and Dean thought maybe it was time to call it a day. He looked over to Castiel, who was in the middle of his fifth rousing game of _rock, paper, scissors_ with Ben.

“You want to head out? Try to get to our cars before the rush?”

Castiel’s eyes widened like Dean had just offered him water in the driest dessert on Earth.

“Yes,” Castiel nodded. “That sounds like an excellent idea.”

They left the box with full stomachs, heavy eyelids, and arms full of merchandise neither child needed. The walk back to the car wasn’t quiet, Dean and Castiel talked about the latest episode they watched of Sherlock and Ben and Claire chased after each other until their uncles told them to stop running in the parking lot.

“Well, if you’re anxious to keep going, I’m free tonight.” Dean said to the doctor, when they reached Dean’s car first. “I know you have surgery in the morning, but we could have an early dinner or something.”

Castiel was nodding before Dean could finish his sentence.

“Yes, that sounds good. We will probably only be able to do one episode, since I have to wake up early, but I’d like that.”

“Great,” Dean said, backing away towards his car and waving at Claire. “See you in a little bit then. Bye Claire, thanks for coming with us!”

Ben signed his goodbye and Castiel and Claire signed back.

“See you later Dean!” Claire shouted as Castiel waved and turned her towards their car.

Dean felt Ben pulling at his arm and he looked down at his nephew.

_What’s up bud?_

_That was so much fun, can we do it again soon?_

_I don’t know, maybe. I’m glad you had fun though. I did too._

_Castiel looked like he had fun too. Claire said he never laughs that much._

Dean gave Ben an accusing glare.

_You and Claire were talking about us?_

A mischievous glint settled into Ben’s eyes and he smiled up at his uncle.

_Just that she thinks you’re going to kiss and get married._

Ben hoped away to his side of the car with a huge smile on his face and left Dean alone at the back of his car, looking down at the asphalt and realizing how much he wished Claire’s prediction was true.


	24. Chapter 24

**Notes for the Chapter:**

> Okay guys, I am CRAZY nervous for you to read this chapter. Please, please be nice and let me know what you think. I am a ball of nerves right now.

The bright and sunny afternoon had turned windy and gray by the time Dean had dropped off Ben and made it back to his apartment. Castiel was due to be over in just an hour and Dean wanted to clean the place up and shower before he arrived. After the sexual tension that wouldn’t die that he had to endure at the ballpark, Dean had a date with his cock too, something that he had been thinking about ever since he dropped off his nephew and no longer felt guilty about thinking about such things. 

In the shower, Dean stroked himself to completion, pushing a finger inside of himself as he fell over the edge and came with a shout that sounded suspiciously like Castiel’s name. When he was through, Dean washed up quickly and then got out to towel off and get dressed. He put on jeans and a red and blue plaid button down that he rolled up to his elbows. He took extra care with his hair and shaved again even though he had shaved that morning. He hadn’t put so much effort into a night in with Castiel before, but something made him do it anyway. 

When he felt confident in his appearance, Dean went through his apartment and found things to clean. It wasn’t really messy in the first place, but after half an hour Dean had dusted his mantle which now included an extra bobble head, wiped down his kitchen counters twice, picked up the clothes off the floor of his bedroom, and vacuumed. 

The sky continued to get darker outside, and by the time Castiel showed up with Indian food it had started to rain.

“Freak storm, huh?” Dean greeted. Castiel’s hair was wet and wind tousled and his t-shirt was nearly soaked through and sticking to his body in a way that made Dean’s words stutter. “Y-you need a towel?”

Castiel nodded, “Yes that would be great. Thank you.”

Dean took the food from Castiel and put it on the kitchen counter, then went to his closet to grab a towel. He handed it to the doctor, who then rubbed it over his hair to dry his tresses.

“Do you want a dry t-shirt?” Dean asked next, already imagining how Castiel would peel off his wet one and then Dean would get to finally see him with his shirt off.

“Please. This one is rather uncomfortable.”

Dean smiled, but his resolution to get Castiel half naked faltered. 

“Go ahead and grab one.” He pointed towards his bedroom. “Second drawer of my dresser. I’ll get our dinner ready.”

Castiel smiled and thanked him, walking back towards Dean’s bedroom and then disappearing inside.

Dean’s body was at war with itself over the knowledge that Castiel was now shirtless in his bedroom and Dean was not there to witness it. He told himself it was better that way, that seeing his bare chest and nipples would do nothing to help Dean keep his distance. Instead, he focused on plating their dinner and pouring their drinks, meticulously tearing pieces of naan up and placing them on their plates. He forced himself to see only the bread in his hands, rather than the naked body he kept unintentionally picturing. He didn’t hear Castiel come back into the kitchen, his fingers were still tearing pieces of the bread up into much smaller than necessary pieces. 

“What are you doing?” Castiel asked, brushing a hand through his now damp hair.

Dean pulled himself out of his forced blank stare and met the doctor’s gaze.

“Oh, nothing. Sorry.” He looked down at their plates, which now held dozens of little pieces of naan. “I, uh, got a little carried away.” 

“I see that.” Castiel said with amusement. “Shall I take this?” 

He placed his hand over the last larger piece of naan in Dean’s hand and tugged on it gently.

“Oh,” Dean said dumbly. “Yeah, sure. Sorry.”

He allowed the naan to be pulled from his hand and then picked up the two plates and stepped back to walk around Castiel and into the living room.

“So, this episode is probably my least favorite of all of them, but there are some epic John and Sherlock moments that I think you’ll enjoy,” Dean said as he placed the plates on the coffee table. Castiel joined him and handed him his beer.

“Thanks.” Dean said, taking it and sipping as he sat down in his place. He jumped slightly, spilling some of his beer, when lightening ignited the room in harsh white light and thunder echoed loudly just a few seconds later. 

“Wow,” Castiel murmured, standing up and crossing over to the window to look outside. “That’s quite a storm.”

“Yeah,” Dean replied. “I hope we don’t-”

Another thunderous boom erupted and then the lights in Dean’s apartment went out.

“-lose power.” Dean finished lamely. 

Castiel turned around and chuckled softly. His face was illuminated by the next flash of lightening, and Dean was fairly confident he had never seen anything more alluring.

“I guess that means no Sherlock tonight.”

“I guess not.” Dean replied. He got up and carefully made his way to the linen closet where he had half a dozen candles and a flashlight. He placed a few candles on his kitchen table and a few others around the living room, lighting them as he moved. Castiel brought their dinner to the table while Dean lit the last candle, which he had placed on his mantle between picture frames. The room was glowing in soft orange light, the shadows of his furniture and their bodies casting along the walls and creating a haunting sensation that crept under Dean’s skin and stayed there. 

“This will have to do.” He said quietly, stopping short when his eyes fell on Castiel who was sitting at the kitchen table, waiting for Dean to join him. He looked breathtakingly beautiful waiting for him, surrounded by candles. It looked so domestic, so much like exactly what Dean wanted. A piece of his heart felt like it was breaking from the sight of it, knowing the picture wasn’t as it seemed.

“Lucky for us you had a candle store in your linen closet,” Castiel teased with a smile. 

Dean still hadn’t moved from his spot in the living room, his body was reluctant to move. The image before him was picturesque. Castiel tilted his head to the side though, an inquisitive look in his eye that Dean could just barely make out through the candlelight, so Dean finally moved his feet and walked over to join the doctor at the table.

“Candles are great.” Dean finally said, picking up his fork to start eating. “For perfectly practically reasons that definitely _do not_ involve long bubble baths where I talk about my problems to a rubber duck.” 

Castiel giggled and dipped a tiny piece of naan into his vindaloo. 

“Do you actually own a rubber duck?”

“Of course I do.” Dean said, feigning insult. “I happen to have a nephew who loves spending the night with me. Mr. duck is a staple in our bedtime routine.”

“That’s adorable,” Castiel said with a smile, picking up his own fork and digging into his dinner. “You’re really great with him. It’s obvious how much he adores you.”

Dean felt his face grow warm.

“I could say the same about you and Claire,” Dean replied. “You’d make a good father, I think.”

Dean worried he had just said something he’d want to take back, but Castiel just smiled and nodded.

“Someday, hopefully.”

Dean smiled and agreed.

“If I can just keep someone around long enough to want to have a kid with me.” Dean added on. “That seems to be an issue.”

“The second date didn’t go well?” Castiel asked, eyes on his food rather than the man across from him.

“It was okay... I guess.” Dean said slowly, pushing his food around his plate. “I just wasn’t really all that interested while we were together. Something was missing.”

“Hmm.” Castiel nodded, but kept his eyes on his plate. “That’s unfortunate.”

Dean shrugged and let out a bitter laugh.

“Is it?” 

“Well, if you had hoped to start a relationship with this woman, then yes, I’d say it’s unfortunate you find her uninteresting.”

“I don’t think I ever hoped Lisa and I would go somewhere,” Dean said carefully, catching Castiel’s eye across the table. 

The doctor stared at Dean over the candlelight, his fork halfway to his mouth and his expression unreadable, then flicked his eyes back down at his plate and finished bringing his food to his lips. 

“Then why take her out in the first place?” 

They were on very dangerous ground and Dean felt the warning flutters in his stomach that told him he had started something he wasn’t sure he was ready to finish. Still, even though he was terrified at what would come next, Dean answered,

“I needed the distraction.”

Castiel stilled. His fingers placed his fork back on his plate, while the doctor’s eyes followed the movement. The candles on their table flickered and Castiel looked like he was blinking rapidly down at his plate before he raised his eyes to meet Dean’s. The doctor swallowed hard, then sat back in his chair, nervous tension rolling off his body in waves. 

“What did you need to distract yourself from?”

And there was his chance. 

A perfect opening for Dean to say, _you._

_I’m constantly distracted by thoughts of you. Your eyes, your voice, your hands, your body. Everything about you distracts me. I needed something to pull my thoughts from you. I needed someone to replace you with in my mind, in my heart._

The truth though, as Dean so often was forced to admit, was that Dean was a goddamn coward when it came to anything that involved being honest about his feelings. He couldn’t find the courage it would take to actually say any of the things his mind supplied for him to say. Instead, he found himself shrugging and managing a strained smile as he shoveled more food into his mouth.

“Not being able to go to work. I’m crazy bored without my job to go to.”

He didn’t have the guts to look up and see how Castiel took his response, but the moment had been so charged seconds ago and Dean was pretty sure Castiel had been preparing for Dean to say something else entirely. Castiel’s reply, when it finally came, was quiet and Dean could tell he was no longer looking at Dean but angling his head down towards his own lap.

“You won’t have to wait much longer. If you would keep up with your physical therapy, I’d have a better idea of your progress. As it is, Jo can’t give me updates and I’ve only had your word to rely on. Meg won’t stand for that.”

Dean heard Castiel pick his fork back up and begin eating again, and Dean let out a silent sigh.

“I have an appointment with Jo next week,” Dean said. “Hopefully Dr. Masters will take mercy on me and clear me before my six-month check-up. I’m feeling fine. Just a little weaker, but the swimming has helped. Of course now that is out too because I just got a notice that my pool is closed for another two weeks while they repair a crack in the stairs.”

“I have a guest pass you can use,” Castiel replied, his voice back to normal now that they were on steadier ground. “The pool at the Y is probably much better than the one at your apartment.”

“That’s true,” Dean shrugged and sipped his beer. “Yeah, that’d be awesome. Thanks.”

“Okay, I’ll put your name on the list.” Castiel said back, humming around another bite of vindaloo. “This is really good.”

“Delicious,” Dean agreed. He felt the incredibly tense, _almost_ , slip away. The storm outside continued to howl, making Dean wonder how long it would go on.

“I hope it clears up soon.” Castiel said, seemingly reading Dean’s thoughts. “I don’t want to drive home in that.”

“You can’t,” Dean shook his head. “If it’s still crazy outside later, you can just stay here.”

He was impressed with his ability to stay calm and light when he basically just asked Castiel to spend the night with him. It was too dark to be certain, but he thought maybe he saw Castiel’s expression falter slightly before nodding.

“Thank you. Hopefully it won’t come to that.”

“No,” Dean muttered under his breath. “We wouldn’t want that.” 

“Hmm?” Castiel asked around his last bite of food.

“Nothing.” Dean replied. “Thanks for dinner. Sorry I went a little crazy with the naan.”

Castiel laughed. 

“Not a problem, it was like having croutons. Surprisingly enjoyable.”

Dean smirked and raised his half drunk beer.

“I’m here to please.”

Castiel smiled and raised his glass as well.

“You do a good job of it.” He brought his glass to his lips and sipped slowly, eyes still on Dean as Dean did the same. His gaze didn’t leave Dean until one of the candles flickered out and Dean got up to relight it.

“I guess if there was ever a good time to be surrounded by open flames, it would be in a fire fighter’s apartment.” Castiel said over the latest boom of thunder.

Dean let out a small laugh, but he could hear anxiety in Castiel’s voice and thought now might be a good time to set Castiel straight about a few things.

“You know, my job isn’t as dangerous as you make it out to be,” He said, picking up their empty plates and discarding them into the sink. Castiel followed him into the kitchen, carrying his beer in one hand and a candle in the other. 

“Something about being surrounded by a flames while a building burns down around you, seems pretty dangerous to me. I could be wrong, though.”

“You are,” Dean shot back, then sighed. “Well, yes, it can be dangerous, but it’s not like that all the time. Half the time I’m in sitting around the firehouse playing gin and shooting the shit with the others. When we do go out on a call, the fires are usually pretty small and easily dealt with and there are protocols in place to keep me safe. I also go out on a lot of calls that have nothing to do with fire, car crashes and medical traumas and stuff. I do a lot more than run into burning buildings.”

“And jump three stories out of them.” Castiel quipped. Despite his joke, his eyes looked anything but amused.

“I’m here aren’t I?” Dean responded. “The truth is, I jumped out of that window because I had put myself in a position I shouldn’t have. If I had followed protocol, I wouldn’t have been up there without a ladder to catch me.”

“Why did you do it then?”

“I didn’t have an accurate head count. I thought maybe a kid was up there. The other ladders were helping residents, I couldn’t take away one for myself.”

“Even if that meant you could die?” Castiel snapped. He placed his glass on the counter much harder than it looked like he had intended to. 

“What would you have had me do? Take the chance that a kid was up there dying?”

“No,” Castiel shot back. “Of course not, I just think-”

“Cas, listen to me.” Dean took a step closer and placed his hand on Castiel’s bicep. “I know you worry, but honestly the death rate for firefighters is about the same as cashiers. _Cashiers,_ Cas. I know it sounds horrible and dangerous, but it really isn’t like that. Sometimes things go to shit, yeah, but we have each other’s back. It’s actually a lot safer than you think, I can send you some stuff to read about it if you want.”

Castiel said nothing. He stared at Dean as though the firefighter was speaking a different language entirely. Dean didn’t know what else to say, so he just waited for Castiel to say something first. He watched as Castiel’s expression changed from angry confusion to something much more resigned. The lines in his forehead softened out and the frown the doctor had been wearing lifted into a half smile.

“I’m sorry I snapped at you,” He said quietly, eyes still locked with Dean’s. Dean smiled in response, his hand still warm on Castiel’s arm. “I’ll read anything you give me, if you promise not to jump out of any windows anytime soon.”

“Deal.” He squeezed the doctor’s arm once, then dropped his hand. Lightening filled the room again, followed by another angry clash of thunder. Dean stepped out of the kitchen and crossed the room to the window. Wind pushed the trees violently and the rain continued to pour. 

“It’s still pretty crazy out there. I think you’ll be here for awhile.”

He turned around to find Castiel still standing at the edge of the kitchen, a candle in his hand and a soft expression on his face.

“That’s all right,” Castiel said with a small smile. “I have nowhere else to be until morning.”

“Good,” Dean replied, the lump in his throat growing exponentially. “Do you want to play a game or something? Sam left his chess board here.”

“Sure.” Castiel nodded and walked over to the couch to sit down. “I can’t remember the last time I played though. It might be a quick game.”

Dean laughed and went to sit next to Castiel on the couch. He reached under and pulled the board out from under it. 

“Don’t worry, I’ve never been very good.” Dean placed the board on the coffee table and opened it up to pull out the pieces and pour them out on the table. He replaced the board on the table, then got up to grab his forgotten beer from the kitchen table while Castiel set up the game. When he came to sit back down, Castiel had the board angled so that they could sit next to each other on the couch and not strain their necks to see their pawn’s positions.

“Nice.” Dean said, settling into his seat after placing a few candles around the board. “You can go first.”

“White makes the first move,” Castiel responded from beside him. 

Dean laughed softly.

“See, I told you I wasn’t very good at this.”

Castiel’s left knee brushed against Dean’s right as he shifted and laughed with him.

“My father was rather adamant about the rules growing up.”

“Ah,” Dean said nodding as he moved his first pawn. “Sam’s ideas of rules are closer to wizard’s chess than anything else.”

“Wizard’s chess?” Castiel moved his bishop, then looked at Dean with raised eyebrows.

“Harry Potter.” Dean said, as if that explained it. Castiel’s continued confusion confirmed that it didn’t. “You’ve never- _not even the movies?_

“No.” Castiel smiled, his eyes brightening at Dean’s outrage. “I have a feeling we are going to be remedying that soon enough.”

“You’re damn right.” Dean replied, moving his bishop into an advantageous position. “Although, I’d rather you read the books first. I wasn’t at all interested either, but then Cassie got me into them and I’m telling you, you won’t regret it.”

“Who is Cassie?” Castiel asked before moving another of his pieces.

“My ex.” Dean answered somewhat awkwardly. “She, uh-We broke up a long time ago.”

Their eyes met for a brief moment, then Dean ducked his head back down towards the board.

“Have you only had relationships with women?” Castiel asked suddenly. When Dean’s eyebrows shot up his forehead and his eyes met Castiel’s again, he saw a blush spread across Castiel’s cheeks that told him the doctor might not have meant to ask that question aloud.

“Um, well-”

“I’m sorry, that was rude.” Castiel interrupted. “I shouldn’t have-”

“No, it’s fine.” Dean said waving away Castiel’s discomfort. “I guess I have, yeah. It wasn’t on purpose after I was out, it just kind of worked out that way. Cassie is really the only long term relationship I’ve had though.”

“I see,” Castiel said quietly. “How long were you together?”

“Five years...ish.” Dean replied. He stared down at the board for a long moment until making his next move. 

“That’s a long time.” Castiel said absently, making his move next. “What happened?”

“She wasn’t in love with me anymore.”

“And you were still in love with her?” Castiel asked, eyes not on Dean but on the beer he had picked up and taken a sip from.

“I thought so at the time, but lately...” Dean trailed off. He was about to say that what he was feeling lately made him feel like he had never really been in love before. He couldn’t say that though. “I think maybe I was still in love with the idea of her, of having a successful relationship.”

Castiel nodded and placed his beer back on the table. He didn’t say anything for awhile. Finally, after each of them had taken two turns, Castiel broke the silence.

“Do you have the books?”

It took Dean a second to remember what they had been talking about before.

“Oh, no I don’t,” Dean replied. “I think Charlie does though, I saw some on her bookshelf the last time I was there. I bet she would lend them to you.”

“I’ll have to ask her then.” Castiel said back. “Check.”

“What? Really?” Dean looked down at the board and then sighed. “Shit.”

He moved himself out of check while Castiel laughed softly at his complaint. The storm continued outside, but their game went on. Dean was able to maneuver himself out of check and corner Castiel. They went back and forth like that until Castiel finally pulled ahead and declared check mate.

“Damn.” Dean said, leaning back into the sofa and sighing. “Good game.”

“You’re better than you think.” Castiel replied, leaning back as well. They weren’t touching, but their shoulders were dangerously close together. “I’d like to play again, but-”

Castiel yawned and brought his hand up to cover his mouth.

“-I’m getting pretty tired and should think about trying to get home. I’ve got surgery first thing in the morning.”

“Cas,” Dean said, sitting up and pointing at the window. “You can’t drive home in that.”

Castiel didn’t try to argue.

Dean went to the linen closet and pulled out an extra pillow, a set of sheets and a blanket for Castiel to use. He also found a spare new toothbrush from his cabinet and put it next to his bathroom sink. When he went to get Castiel a pair of pajama pants to sleep in, he came back to find Castiel cleaning up the chess game and tucking it back under the couch.

“Thank you for letting me stay,” Castiel said quietly. He took the pajama pants that Dean offered him. 

“Of course.” Dean responded. “Go get changed and I’ll make up your bed. There's a toothbrush in there for you too.”

“Okay, thank you.” 

Castiel disappeared into the bathroom to get ready for bed, leaving Dean alone in the living room to fret over what would happen next. He mechanically went through the steps of putting a bed together for Castiel on the sofa, but his mind was on the moment they would say goodnight. 

Dean wanted to kiss him.

He wanted it so badly his lips were pulsing just from the possibility of it. At this point, it seemed inevitable that they would end up kissing at some point, but with that particular thought in his head, Dean couldn’t get rid of it long enough to think straight. If he tried to kiss Castiel and Castiel pushed him away, would their friendship be able to withstand it? He didn’t know and frankly, he was terrified to find out.

The bathroom door clinked open and Castiel walked back out into the living room wearing Dean’s black and white plaid pajama pants and the t-shirt he had given him earlier. Seeing Castiel in his pants did things to Dean's heart that he couldn’t even begin to describe. Every part of him felt like it was being drawn over to the doctor. He clenched his hand into fists to stop himself from striding up to Castiel and taking the man into his arms.

Castiel looked down at the finished sofa and gave Dean a grateful smile.

“Thank you. That looks perfect.”

Dean swallowed back words that wouldn’t make sense if they had managed to tumble out of his mouth right then. He walked around the room, blowing out all the candles except for two, handing one to Castiel and keeping one for himself.

“Blow it out before you fall asleep.” Dean said with a playful smile. “Firefighter’s orders.”

Castiel smiled back and nodded.

“Don’t worry, I will.”

Neither of them said anything for a long moment, the air thick and full of everything they weren’t saying. The storm still ranged on around them, but the room stayed dangerously silent. Finally Dean stepped back and gestured towards the sofa.

“Well, sleep well. I’ll set my alarm to make sure you get up in time to get to work. What time do you need to be up?”

“Five.” Castiel said with a groan. He stepped closer to the sofa. “Sorry.”

Dean laughed and shook his head.

“It’s no problem.” Dean stepped back towards the hallway that led to his bedroom. “Let me know if you need anything, I’m just-” He gestured towards his bedroom and let his eyes follow. When they made it back to Castiel, Castiel’s eyes were still on Dean’s dark bedroom, his chest rising and falling faster than it had been seconds before. 

“I’ll be fine.” Castiel replied, a small hitch in his voice. “Thank you, Dean.”

“Sure, Cas.” Dean said, putting even more space between them as he moved back again. “Goodnight.”

Castiel kept his eyes on Dean’s, his own goodnight to Dean barely a whisper. The candles in their hands flickered, making it impossible to read Castiel’s expression clearly. He could have been just as tortured as Dean was, or he could have simply been exhausted and ready to turn in. Dean couldn’t be sure.

He turned around and went to his bedroom, shutting the door slowly and then dropping his weight against it.

 

***

He had been in bed no more than half an hour before the sound of glass breaking jolted Dean out of bed. Castiel had fallen asleep immediately after slipping under the blanket on the couch, Dean knew this because when he snuck back out of his bedroom to brush his teeth and use the restroom, he saw the doctor resting soundly through the dark. Now though, the sofa was empty as Dean rushed into the dark living room, wearing nothing but a thin t-shirt and boxer shorts.

"Cas?” Dean called. “Are you all right?”

“Yes,” Castiel’s voice came from the kitchen, it sounded odd. “I’m sorry I-no wait, don’t come in here. I broke a glass, there are shards all over the floor.”

Dean could see Castiel sitting on his counter, one leg propped up with his foot resting on his thigh. 

“Did you get cut?”

“Yes,” Castiel answered. “Not much, but I think there is a shard stuck inside. I can’t see though.”

“Okay, hold on a sec.” Dean grabbed the flashlight he had pulled from the closet earlier and handed it to Castiel over the counter. “Hold this on the floor and I’ll sweep up the glass.”

“All right.” 

Dean found the broom and dust pan in his tiny laundry room and brought it back to the kitchen to sweep up the shattered glass shards.

“I’m sorry,” Castiel said as Dean swept. “I wanted a glass of water, but the glass slipped out of my hand.”

“It’s no big deal,” Dean assured him. “I’m sorry you got cut. Let me just clean this up and then I’ll come in and help you.”

“Okay.” Castiel said, moving the flashlight when Dean needed him to so he could sweep the kitchen clean of glass.

When Dean was finished, he walked into the kitchen and pulled a brown paper bag down from one of his cabinets to pour the broken glass from the dust pan into. Then he went to his bathroom to grab tweezers, some antibacterial ointment, and some bandages. He returned to the kitchen to find Castiel angling his leg up so he could try and get a better view of the bottom of his foot.

The doctor was quite flexible.

“Don’t hurt yourself,” Dean said with a huff. “Let me do that.”

He crossed the kitchen to stand in front of Castiel, who was still sitting on top of the counter. Their bodies were very close, mere inches apart. Dean placed the medical supplies on the counter next to him and tried to steady his breathing.

“I’m the doctor, you know.” Castiel said down to him, Dean thought he could feel Castiel’s breath in his hair.

“I have EMS training,” Dean replied back softly. “Just hold the flashlight.”

Castiel did as he was told and Dean focused on trying to find the shard of glass lodged in Castiel’s heel. His hands were around the doctor’s foot and ankle and he was trying very hard not to let them shake. Castiel’s pulse was rapid in the soft spot just below his ankle bone, so Dean instinctively soothed the skin there with a gentle rub of his thumb. Castiel’s foot flinched, then quickly relaxed, so Dean did it again. 

“Find anything?” Castiel whispered, an obvious flutter in his voice.

“Not yet,” Dean answered. He pulled his focus from the feel of his hands on Castiel’s skin to the cut on the doctor’s heel and began to search for the shard of glass. It only took a moment of actually looking before he saw the piece of glass glint under the flashlight’s beam.

“There you are,” He murmured, before pulling it out with the tweezers. Dean dropped the tiny shard of glass into the brown paper bag, then returned to Castiel’s injury. He placed the antibacterial ointment on the wound, then secured a bandage over it. When he was through, his fingers lingered on Castiel’s ankle. He was terrified of what would or could happen next. 

They were only inches apart. He would only need to lift his head, tilt it a bit, and then they could be kissing. They were so _close_. Dean’s hands were still on the doctor’s body, his own heart beating wildly. He could still feel Castiel’s pulse in his ankle, it was just as unruly, almost like they had synchronized to match. Dean didn’t dare move his hand. It would say something he didn’t want to say. 

“Thank you.” Castiel said quietly from above him. The tremor in his voice gave Dean the confidence to swallow back his fear and look up to meet the doctor’s eye. 

Castiel was staring down at him with the most conflicted expression Dean had thought he had ever seen the man wear. Their faces were inches apart, but Dean didn’t make a move to close the distance. He held steady and waited for Castiel to give him some sort of sign as to how he wanted to proceed. In the next ten seconds, they would either kiss or Dean would back away and give Castiel his ankle back. Dean just needed a sign as to which one Castiel would prefer.

Castiel gave him nothing but his racing heart. The doctor’s hands were on the counter next to him, not reaching for Dean to bring him closer. His eyes were hard on Dean’s, not flicking to his lips. He wasn’t pulling away, but he wasn’t moving closer either. He was frozen. 

Dean thought that might be as good a sign as any. He released Castiel’s ankle and took a step back, eyes on Castiel’s feet instead of his face.

“Can you walk on it?” Dean managed to get out.

Castiel didn’t respond, he slid off of the counter top, the bottom half of his body still pressing against it as his toes hit the floor.

“It’s fine.” Castiel replied quietly. “Just a small cut.”

Dean brought his eyes back up to Castiel’s and held there. He wasn’t going to force anything on the doctor, but he wasn’t going to leave the kitchen until he had a better idea of where they stood. Even if it was for Castiel to walk away first, at least he would know that Castiel really didn’t want anything to happen between them. 

They were still only inches apart, Dean hadn’t backed away very far to let Castiel off the counter. Thunder ripped through the room after a particularly brilliant flash of lightening, but neither man moved. Dean needed this to go somewhere. Needed it to move, one way or another. 

“Cas...” Dean tried, but his voice hitched and then he couldn’t find any words to say that wouldn’t be the absolute truth. Castiel sucked in a shuttering breath at the sound of his name on Dean’s lips. His eyes flicked down to where the doctor’s name had just escaped, and lingered there. Castiel’s tongue swept over his bottom lip.

At that point, with every cell in his body screaming at him to do _something_ , Dean thought Castiel’s sudden need to wet his lips was another sign.

He took a step closer, bringing their chests so close together if either of them had inhaled deeply they would have been pressed together. Dean paused there, waiting for Castiel to either push him away or stop him in some other way, but the doctor did neither. His eyes flicked from Dean’s lips back up to his eyes. When their eyes locked, their faces only a breath apart, Dean felt a shudder run through his body. It was a feeling more powerful than anything he had ever experienced before. It was like his body was threatening to fly off into the storm, while his soul was so heavily weighted to its spot, right there in Castiel’s eyes, that he would die if he tried to move away.

Dean waited another few seconds before he inched closer again. When he did move, he reached forward and brushed his fingers softly against Castiel’s. Another tremor of something incredible pulsed through his body at the contact and Dean watched Castiel carefully for his reaction. The doctor’s breath was coming faster, but his own fingers responded slowly, moving with precision against Dean’s. Dean took this as very good sign, and carefully reached up and placed his other hand under the side of Castiel’s jaw, his thumb stroking softly behind the doctor’s ear. Castiel’s other hand came up to Dean’s waist, and Dean felt the doctor’s finger’s grip him tightly. The thrill of having Castiel’s hands on him in such a way, was quickly surpassed by the thrill of what he knew would come next.

With his eyes open and locked with Castiel’s, Dean leaned in slowly, still giving Castiel every chance to stop him. When Castiel made no move to do so, Dean continued on his path until his lips were brushing gently over Castiel’s. It was instantly electric, but Dean suppressed the desire to push forward and devour the mouth slowly responding to his. The only light they had was the sporadic flash of lightening and the soft white glow of the flashlight Castiel had left on the countertop, but Dean kept his eyes open so he could see Castiel’s reaction to their kiss. A small sound escaped Castiel’s throat as Dean kissed him gently, and then the doctor’s eyes fluttered closed. His lips then moved against Dean’s, kissing Dean’s bottom lip tenderly.

At Castiel’s response, Dean let his eyes fall shut as well. 

They were kissing. 

Dean had one hand on Castiel’s neck, his other hand woven with Castiel’s, and he had Castiel’s fingers pulling their hips together. They were flush, lips to thighs, and Dean wasn't sure he had ever felt something so perfect. Castiel pulled his hand out of Dean’s and moved it up to Dean’s face, cupping his cheek as he kissed him again, then tilting his head to slot their mouths more fully together. Encouraged by Castiel's response, Dean reached around and placed his hand on the small of Castiel’s back, pulling him impossibly closer. He could feel every line of muscle under Castiel’s shirt. Aching to touch him, Dean slid his hand up the back of Castiel’s t-shirt and traced the length of his spine, while Castiel gasped softly against his lips, then pressed back in to kiss Dean more thoroughly.

Dean parted his lips just as Castiel touched the tip of his tongue to Dean’s top lip. Dean let out a soft sound, then swept his own tongue inside Castiel’s mouth and stroked softly, the butterflies in his stomach flying in all directions as the sensation overwhelmed him. Castiel was kissing him back, gripping him around the neck and pulling as if Dean could never get close enough. The kiss quickly turned more passionate as their bodies rolled together. They licked and sucked at each other’s mouths, letting out soft moans of pleasure as their lips moved together in a heated dance.

Dean suddenly found himself being pushed and then pulled back again, only this time it was him being pressed into the counter top. Castiel’s thigh slipped between his legs and then _oh, god_ Dean’s growing erection found friction and Castiel was hard against his own thigh. Dean rolled his hips and Castiel groaned into their kiss, pushing his tongue inside Dean’s mouth and answering Dean’s hip roll with a small thrust that left Dean seeing stars. 

Dean’s mind was nothing but Castiel’s body pressing into his, Castiel’s hands snaking down and gripping Dean’s ass, Castiel’s tongue massaging his own. It was all so perfect, and so very _fucking overdue_. A clap of thunder echoed in the kitchen, but Dean barely noticed. He was doing something he had wanted for so long, he was experiencing the one thing his body craved, with the one person who drove him so wild his entire world felt like it was suddenly making a hell of a lot more sense. Dean was-

Alone.

Castiel had pulled back abruptly. Panting with eyes open once more, looking like he had just kicked a puppy. He did not look happy. 

“What- I didn’t mean to-” Castiel tried, but his words were clipped and his breath was still ragged. “We shouldn’t- I’m sorry, I really shouldn’t have done that.”

“Why not?” Dean asked, stepping closer to Castiel again because now that he knew what it felt like to be in his arms, he never wanted it to stop.

“Be-because.” Castiel half stuttered, half shouted. “We’re...we’re just friends...and...” Castiel pulled back again and then he was moving out of the kitchen and to the living room where Dean heard clinking against his coffee table. “...and I have to go. I’m sorry I have to-”

“Cas,” Dean rushed after him. “What the hell? You can’t just-” Dean swallowed back his complaint about Castiel wrecking him completely in his kitchen and then abandoning him. “You can’t leave, the storm-”

“I’ll be fine.” Castiel said, already moving towards the door with his keys in his hands. He wore no shoes and was still dressed in his pajamas. “I have to go. I’m sorry, Dean.”

“Cas-” Dean yelled after him, but Castiel was out the door and into the storm before he could stop him.

Dean was left alone in his living room, half hard and fully confused. What the hell had just happened? They were fine, they were _better_ than fine. They were amazing. They were breathtaking, they were-

Why had Castiel left him? What had he said to Dean? That they were just friends?

Well, that was obviously a lie considering how enthusiastic Castiel’s kisses were. If they were just friends then Dean was a frog named Frank. No, they were definitely not just friends. Why had Castiel insisted they were? Why had he just run out on him?

More importantly, why had Dean let him? Why was Dean just standing there, feeling crushed and alone, when the man, who he was definitely head over heels in love with, had just ran out into a dangerous storm?

Dean didn’t stop to think more about it.

He ran.


	25. Interlude V

**Notes for the Chapter:**

> I know it seems mean to post an interlude right now when there is a cliffhanger just staring you in the face, but i promise its a well placed interlude that will help shape the resolution of the cliffhanger. I am almost through with the next chapter, so hopefully it will be up soon. thanks for being awesome guys, you make me want to post faster with all your lovely comments!

“You absolute _dick!_ ” 

Castiel lunged at his big brother, stepping around his twin to grip Gabriel by the shirt collar.

“A radio talk show host? Really, Gabriel? _Really?_

Gabriel had his hands up in defeat, but the smile he wore was nothing but victorious. They were standing in Jimmy’s kitchen, only seconds after Claire had left the room to go find her mother and tell her about her day at the ballpark. Jimmy watched the exchange between his brothers apathetically, while he casually bit into an apple and read through the local paper.

“Whoa there little brother, I’m sure I don’t know what you’re talking about.” Gabriel said with an innocent look on his face. “Radio talk show _who now_? Are you having a stroke?”

“Gabriel, I don’t need you meddling in my life!” Castiel shot back, anger still radiating off of him. He released his brother’s shirt though and pushed him away. “This was over the line.”

He looked to Jimmy to agree with him, but Jimmy just shrugged and went back to eating his apple. Jimmy didn’t look back down at his paper though, instead he looked at Castiel as if his twin brother had somehow transfigured into an adorable toddler in pigtails. 

“Oh stop it.” Castiel groaned. “You can’t possibly think it was okay for Gabriel to do what he did.”

Jimmy shrugged again.

“Seemed pretty harmless to me. Why are you so worked up over it?”

“Harmless?” Castiel echoed incredulously. “He called Dean, impersonated a radio DJ and basically forced Dean to take me with him.”

“Whoa, there Cassie.” Gabriel interjected. “I didn’t force anyone to do anything. It was all up to Dean as to who he would take to the game. Not that I would know anything about that, of course.”

Castiel glared at his older brother, then turned back to Jimmy.

“He had no right to interfere. First, he asked him out for drinks, pretending to be me, and now the baseball game. What’s next? Am I going to wake up and find myself on a flight home from Vegas with a wedding band on my finger and Dean drooling on my shoulder?”

Gabriel’s eyebrow’s rose.

“I do have quite a few unused frequent flyer miles.”

“You’re not funny.” Castiel shot back. “Jimmy, please.”

His tone had gone from irritated anger to desperate pleading and his twin brother tilted his head slightly to regard Castiel more carefully.

“Why are you letting this get to you so much? Gabriel has literally sent you a prostitute at the hospital and you just sighed and wrote the poor guy a check to go home. How is this worse than that?” Jimmy stepped closer to his brother and placed his hand on his shoulder. “Is it because it’s Dean?”

Castiel held Jimmy’s eyes for a moment, before closing them and sighing.

“I can’t- I don’t want-” Castiel couldn’t find the words, so he stopped trying. He didn’t want to get into it with his brothers, not about this. His hand went up to pinch the bridge of his nose. 

Gabriel stepped up from behind him and placed his hand on Castiel’s other shoulder.

“You can and you do _want_.” He spoke softly, just enough to signal to Castiel that he was being genuine. “Why won’t you let yourself have this? You’d have to be blind not to see how badly that firefighter wants you. Have some fun, Cassie. You deserve it.”

Castiel groaned and pulled himself away from his brothers, walking into Jimmy’s living room and falling onto his couch. It seemed as though he wasn’t going to be able to get out of talking about t his.

“You don’t understand,” He finally said, after Gabriel and Jimmy joined him. “With Dean, it’s different. It’s not like we could just _have fun_. Believe me, I’ve thought about letting go and making a move, but it would never work like that. Not with him. I...I care too much about him.”

“Work like what?” Jimmy asked, leaning against the wall across from the couch.

“Like something casual, something _fun_.”

“I don’t get the feeling that is what Dean is after,” Jimmy replied.

“No, I don’t think so anymore either.” Castiel agreed. “Which makes sleeping with him impossible.”

“Wait, wait, wait.” Gabriel brought himself closer to the couch and leaned down so his hands were on his knees and he was looking into his little brother’s face. “Why in the ever loving hell would you pass up a chance to sleep with Dean, a man you are completely hung up on, if you _don’t_ think he is just after your ass? That makes a kind of sense that...well, doesn’t.”

Castiel pursed his lips and sighed at his brother.

“I can’t _be_ with Dean. I can’t.”

“Why not?” Jimmy asked softly.

“Because, I-” Castiel cut himself off again, very unwilling put voice to the truth and Gabriel groaned in frustration.

“Come on! Castiel, you seriously need to start making some sense or I am going to call Dean right now and have him-”

Castiel reached for Gabriel’s arm to stop him from reaching into his pocket to pull out his phone. The last thing he needed was for Gabriel to interfere even more. As it stands, Dean must think Castiel was at least a little pathetic, having to have his big brother make friends for him.

“Stop.” Castiel ordered dispassionately. He couldn’t muster up the energy to get into another all out shouting match, but thankfully Gabriel stopped his movement at Castiel’s lackluster command.

“Tell us what’s going on in your head.”

Castiel looked down at his lap, where his hands were lacing together. After a few moments of silence, Castiel let out a loud sigh and threw his head back onto the sofa. Castiel was hesitant to tell his brother’s everything, but at the same time he knew it would be good to get some things off his chest. Gabriel could be a prick, but he was actually a good listener, and Jimmy always gave him good advice.

“The truth is, I can’t let myself go there with Dean. Not really... Not for real,” Castiel said quietly. He felt very sad all of the sudden, and couldn’t meet his brother’s gazes. “Dean is...well, he is _incredible_. He’s smart and funny, absolutely gorgeous and tortuously sexy. He’s... amazing really. I’ve never-” Castiel cut himself off because the end of that sentence was something he would never say aloud. Instead, he continued on to explain why he wouldn’t allow himself to be with Dean. “But if he were mine, _truly_ mine and I lost him? I fear I wouldn’t be able to come back from it.”

There, he said it. Now his brothers could tell him he was a stupid coward and then Castiel would just say he didn’t care and then it would be over. 

“Soooo, you’re saying you can’t be with Dean...” Gabriel asked slowly, narrowing his eyes at his little brother. “...Because you’re in love with him?” 

Castiel wanted to argue, but found there was nothing to argue with.

“Essentially.”

“You realize how crazy that makes you, right?” Gabriel said, eyebrows raised. He looked back at Jimmy and found him staring at Castiel with a sad expression on his face.

“So, what are you going to do?” Jimmy asked Castiel. “Just be friends?”

“Yes.” Castiel said. “I don’t know why that is so hard to understand. We’ll be friends. We can _just be friends_.”

The room was silent then, and Castiel felt like he might cry. He knew he wasn’t being reasonable, but at this point he couldn’t _not_ be friends with Dean, he needed him, but he couldn’t let it go any further either. That was just the way it had to be.

“Is this about the dangerous job thing?” Gabriel asked finally. “Because I told you-”

“It’s not just that,” Castiel mumbled. “At least not anymore.”

“Then...” Jimmy prompted, then waited for Castiel to continue.

“It’s not just about his job anymore, although that is part of it. Relationships end for a lot of reasons, not just death.”

“Right.” Gabriel said in agreement, although the look on his face showed that he was actually very confused by Castiel’s statement.

“Dean is just...he means too much to me now. I don’t want to lose him.” Castiel said solemnly. “I don’t want to risk it.”

Jimmy pushed himself off of the wall and came to sit next to Castiel, his movements slow. Castiel knew his twin already knew what he wanted to say, but was just trying to find the best way to say it.

“Cas,” Jimmy started softly. “I understand your need for stability, especially after losing Inias, but you’re forcing yourself into an impossible situation. You can’t be friends with someone you have feelings for, not long term. At some point, something always happens. Things always change.”

Castiel knew this, he wasn’t completely naive, but he still shook his head in disagreement.

“It doesn’t have to.”

“It does when the other person has feelings for you too.” Gabriel said. “I don’t see how it’ll work Castiel. I’m sorry.”

“It has to.” He said firmly. Then, more quietly, he added, “I need it to.”

“It could be so much better Castiel,” Jimmy said softly. “You’d be great together.”

Castiel knew this. He knew how amazing being with Dean would be. That’s why he was terrified of letting it happen. The man had become his best friend in just a few months, it took Inias and him far longer to get to some of the conversations Dean and Castiel were having now. Castiel felt guilty, like it was a disservice to Inias’ memory to be so enamored with Dean, to feel so connected to him, so quickly. It didn’t feel right. What if he had met Dean when Inias was alive? What would have happened? Castiel didn’t want to think about that. 

“You think I don’t know that?” Castiel replied shortly. “That’s the point. I had _great_ before, and look what happened. Maybe I just need, _okay_ or _satisfactory_. Maybe _great_ is too much for me to handle.”

“You’re not making any sense again.” Gabriel said with a sigh. He sat down on Castiel’s other side. “Let me tell you this Cassie, and then I won’t bring it up for at least a week. Okay?”

Castiel just frowned.

“You can keep Dean at an arm’s distance, you can slap a _FRIEND_ nametag on Dean’s forehead, you can even make little bracelets that say ‘Best Friends Forever’ on them, but none of that means a damn thing. The truth is, you’re not friends. You’ll never be friends. It’s just not possible now. What are you going to do if he kisses you? What are you going to do when that happens?”

Castiel stared down at his lap, blinking rapidly and trying to get his mind to settle.

If Dean kissed him...

If he let Dean kiss him, Castiel was positive it would be one of the best kisses of his life. If he let Dean kiss him, he probably wouldn’t be able to stop. If he let Dean kiss him, all bets were off.

He couldn’t let that happen.

“It won’t. I won’t let it happen.”

Gabriel let out a loud, bark of a laugh.

“I know you’re, like, the king of self control Cassie, but even you aren’t that strong. If Dean Winchester presents his pretty pink little lips for you, you’ll crack.” 

“No I won’t.” Castiel got up from the couch and headed for the door. He was going to be late to Dean’s if he didn’t get going. The sky had darkened considerably from the time he arrived to off Claire, and he wanted to get to Dean’s before the storm started. Castiel also still needed to shower and pick up dinner. “I have to go. I’m having dinner at Dean’s.”

Both brothers let out a grunt of something Castiel thought sounded like amusement from Gabriel and sympathy from Jimmy. He turned back to face them both.

“I appreciate everything you’re trying to do, but I have it under control. Please stop trying to push me into something that I don’t want. Dean and I will stay friends and nothing more. End of story.”

“Castiel, please,” Gabriel tried again. “You cannot be friends with someone you’re in love with.”

“Watch me.”

 

***

Oh god.

Oh god. Oh god. _Oh God!_

What had he done? What had he allowed- What was Castiel thinking? 

He hadn’t been. He couldn’t think with Dean so close to him, standing inches from his lips, Dean’s breath hot on his mouth- Castiel’s mind had gone completely blank. He had no defense prepared, he hadn’t _wanted_ to stop Dean. When he was able to come up with any sort of coherent thought, all Castiel could think was how badly he wanted those lips on his own, how it felt like he might die if he didn’t have Dean right then and there. The doctor had been completely overwhelmed by his desire. 

His brother’s had been right. This had been inevitable. What was he going to do now?

Blinded by the storm, Castiel half-ran, half-stumbled to his car, trying to get his head on straight. He knew that walking out into a lightning storm was far from smart, but he had to get out of Dean’s grasp. He couldn’t think with him looking at him like that, with him touching him, within kissing distance... Castiel couldn’t _think_.

He had to get out.

But now he was outside in the middle of a storm, soaked and alone and feeling like he wished he hadn’t ran away. This wasn’t part of the plan though, they weren’t supposed to fall into each other like that. They were supposed to stay friends; Castiel thought Dean knew that, he thought they had an understanding. How was he ever supposed to be Dean’s friend now that he knew what it would be like, what it _could_ be like? 

Now, all he could think about was getting his hands back on Dean’s body, his mouth back on Dean’s, his tongue-

“No,” Castiel admonished himself. “Stop it.”

He was very close to his car. Castiel quickened his pace. All he had to do was get inside and then he could remind himself of all the reasons he was running away. He just had to make it to his car, open the door, and escape the storm. The storm outside, the storm of his inner turmoil, the bitter storm of realizing how foolish he was to believe he could ever resist Dean Winchester.

Lightening ignited the sky and the parking lot around him. The thunder that boomed above nearly drowned out the call from someone behind him. Castiel could hear the hard patter of bare feet on wet pavement, someone was running fast towards him and his name was being called. 

Castiel was almost at his car. He reached for the door. _Nearly there._

He had to get inside, he had to _escape._

He was almost there.


	26. Chapter 26

**Notes for the Chapter:**

> Alright, I hope this meets everyone's expectations...but if it doesn't please be nice! Thank you for the continued love guys :)

Dean’s feet were moving faster than he had let them in over four months. He didn’t feel his injuries though, not as torrential rain accosted him from every side. He ran, full speed, to the parking lot of his apartment complex, the object of his pursuit barely visible through the black of night and the gray of the storm. He was barefoot, was highly irresponsible considering his surroundings, but he couldn’t think about that. Castiel was barefoot too and Dean needed to get him back inside. 

“Cas!” Dean shouted through the rain, his yell punctuated by a loud clap of thunder. “ _Cas!_ ”

Castiel was just about to his car, nearly reaching for the handle when Dean’s call stopped him. His clothes were already completely soaked through. Dean’s were nearly there, but the firefighter could hardly be bothered enough to care. Castiel turned sharply towards him as Dean ran forward to catch his arm and stop him from trying to open his car door.

“Dean! What are you- You shouldn’t be running!” Castiel had to yell to be heard over the storm. “Go back inside!”

“NO!” Dean shouted back. “ _You_ come back inside! You’re being stupid! It’s dangerous out here, come on!” He pulled at Castiel’s arm, but Castiel ripped it away. The move made Dean take a step back. He lowered his voice as much as he could to still be heard over the rain. “Just come back inside, please. It’s not safe out here.”

“I can’t.” Castiel shook his head and avoided Dean’s gaze. “I can’t do this Dean. Not with you.”

Dean took another step back and regarded Castiel with a sort of irritated confusion that made his skin itch under the pounding rain.

“Not with me? What the hell does that mean? Why the hell _not_ with me? Is there something wrong with me?”

Castiel’s eyes widened and he looked like he was about to step forward. but he kept his place by his car. Raindrops were clinging to his eyelashes and running down his cheeks. If Dean weren’t so worried about their circumstances, he would say the man looked beautiful against the backdrop of the storm.

“No, of course not,” Castiel replied. “Nothing is wrong with you Dean. It’s me, it’s...let’s just talk about this tomorrow. I’ll call you-”

“No,” Dean stepped closer again. His leg was starting to ache, but he ignored it. His boxer shorts and t-shirt were uncomfortably pasted to his body, but he ignored that too. What he wasn’t going to ignore anymore, was the very real feelings they seemed to have for each other. No, Dean wasn’t going to be a coward anymore.

“You can’t drive in this and you absolutely cannot leave without talking to me first. I have a right to know what the hell is going on!”

“Dean,” Castiel tried, but his voice broke and Dean thought the doctor might be crying. It was hard to tell, what with water already streaming down his face, but Dean thought his eyes looked red. The doctor looked at him with a pleading expression. “Please don’t make me do this.”

Dean took another step forward, but didn’t move to touch Castiel. He didn’t like the desperation in Castiel’s voice, or how sad the man looked. He wanted to comfort him, take away any pain that he had caused, but he didn’t know how. All he knew was that Castiel wouldn’t be getting in that car if it was the last thing Dean ever did.

“Please don’t treat me this way.” Dean replied back, so softly he wondered if Castiel had even heard him. The look on the doctor’s face told Dean that he had. Castiel’s eyes were locked with Dean’s and it looked like he was also struggling with how to comfort him. “Talk to me. Tell me why you stopped kissing me. Tell me why you are running away.”

Castiel didn’t say anything at first. He stood beside his car, the rain beating down on his body relentlessly while the wind whipped around them. At any moment either one of them could get struck by lightning or fall victim to flying debris, but Dean couldn’t think about any of that. All he saw was Castiel and the torture the doctor seemed to be putting himself through.

Dean stood still in the rain and waited. He didn’t push for Castiel to answer, he just watched patiently while the doctor figured out what he wanted to say. He was more nervous than he had ever felt about anything else in his life, of that he was certain, but the anticipation of what could happen next kept him from feeling sick. 

Finally, after what felt like an eternity, Castiel shrugged pathetically and said,

“I’m scared.”

Dean felt a wave a relief crash over him just as a cold sting of fear crept along behind it. He was glad Castiel was starting to talk, but he didn’t know what the doctor’s confession meant for them.

“Of what?” Dean asked, keeping his place and still not making a move to touch Castiel. 

“You. Us. This.” Castiel replied. “If I let this turn into something real... it could end badly.”

“Cas,” Dean said softly. “It already is real. At least, its real for me.”

Dean pulled his gaze away from Castiel and looked down towards the pavement. He felt his eyes burning and blinked the first of his own tears away. Even if Castiel didn’t feel the same way, Dean was glad he had said it. He was tired of pretending.

With his eyes still on the pavement, Dean didn’t register that Castiel was moving. He didn’t realize what was happening until there was a wet chest against his own and cold arms wrapping around his neck. Castiel was hugging him. Dean’s arms rose on instinct, and wound his arms around Castiel’s waist. He could feel Castiel’s cheek against his and the wet strands of the doctor’s hair tickling his temple.

“Please don’t cry,” Castiel said beside his ear. “I don’t want you to be upset.”

“I am upset Cas,” Dean answered, his own face burrowing into Castiel’s neck. “I thought we- I thought maybe we had something.”

Castiel didn’t say anything for a moment, but Dean could feel the man’s arms tightening around his neck.

“We do,” He finally said, then pulled back and dropped his arms. Dean was reluctant to let the doctor go, but he let his arms fall to his side anyway. “That’s the problem.”

“I don’t follow.” Dean took a step back, putting some distance between them to let Castiel explain himself.

“Dean,” Castiel said, eyes on his, wide and pleading. “I care about you. I care about you more than... you mean a lot to me, and I’m terrified that if I let this happen, I won’t survive it when it ends. I can’t go through that again.”

Dean thought about that for a moment, and let the weight of Castiel’s words sink in. It wasn’t that Castiel didn’t care enough for him, it was that he cared too much. Interesting.

Interesting and _very_ promising. 

“Why are you just assuming that it’ll end?” Dean finally said. The rain had slowed somewhat and there hadn’t been a crack of thunder or lightening in a few minutes. Dean hoped that was a sign that the storm had passed. Whether the storm was over or not, they needed to get back inside. Dean just had to find the right thing to say, to get Cas there.

“As far as I can tell, Dean, all of our relationships have ended so far.”

“So? All relationships fail until the one that doesn’t.” Dean said back, taking Castiel’s hand in his and rubbing his thumb over the wet skin.

Castiel didn’t respond, but didn’t take his hand back either. He suddenly looked helpless, like Dean had somehow cracked whatever wall Castiel had built up around himself, and Dean just prayed that if he kept saying the right things, the wall would come tumbling down. He didn’t want to take away Castiel’s right to chose for himself, but he wanted to make a very good case for himself and have Castiel choose _him_ over his fear.

“I know you’re scared.” Dean said, taking a step closer. “I’d be scared if I were you too. You lost the person you thought you were going to spend the rest of your life with. You had plans for the future and an entire life waiting to be lived, and now there is someone else in front of you, trying to convince you to give them a chance to do the same. It doesn’t get much scarier than that. I understand why you’re afraid of the future.”

Castiel was staring back him with wide, terrified eyes. His lips didn’t make a move to speak, so Dean kept going.

“But let me tell you what I’m afraid of. I’m afraid that I am going to go back in my apartment alone, and never feel this way about anyone else ever again. I’m scared as hell that I have found the person that _I’m_ supposed to spend the rest of _my_ life with, and not have that person want me back. I am downright terrified that you could never feel for me, the way I feel about you.” 

Dean stopped and took a breath, his eyes steady on the man staring back at him. Castiel was definitely crying now, no amount of rain could hide that fact. Dean was too, there was no way he could hold back tears when he was practically baring his soul. 

Taking another hesitant step forward, Dean reached up with the hand not holding Castiel’s, to cup the doctor’s cheek.

“But my future?” Dean continued, voice so soft it battled the rain for the right to be heard. “When it comes to my future Cas, the only thing I am afraid of, is not having you in it.”

Castiel let out a soft sound that sent a warm thrill down Dean’s spine. He could see the wall crumbling in Castiel’s eyes, and Dean took a final step closer, leaning in until their foreheads were resting together. The rain still came down around them, but it was much softer, no longer abusing their senses. 

Dean whispered,

“Do you want to be with me, Cas?”

Castiel shivered in his arms and whispered back,

“More than anything.”

Dean breath came out in a hard shudder, as relief overwhelmed him. Their hands were still intertwined and his other hand still cupped Castiel’s cheek, but Dean needed more contact. He didn’t think he could ever get close enough to the other man. Castiel raised the hand not holding Dean’s to wrap around the back of Dean’s neck. Dean felt his thumb tracing circles at the nape of his neck and the firefighter’s body rejoiced at the feeling.

“Then why are we still standing out here?” Dean replied with a smile.

Castiel answered him by abruptly leaning in and crushing their lips together.

The kiss was instantly passionate, neither of them holding back. Castiel’s lips parted and Dean pushed his tongue inside, feeling the warmth of the doctor’s mouth and thrill of Castiel’s tongue sliding against his own. Their bodies pressed together tightly as they kissed, each man gripping the other as if they were afraid he would disappear. The rain continued to fall down on them, but Dean kissed Castiel as if the rain and everything around them didn’t exist. He kissed him until he was breathless and groaning with desire. He kissed him until Castiel began pushing him back towards the apartment building.

“Inside.” Castiel managed to say between kisses. “We need to get inside.”

Dean wasn’t about to disagree with that, despite how much he didn’t want to stop kissing the doctor. They walked quickly back towards his apartment, stopping outside his door to kiss again, this time with Dean pressing Castiel against the door and grinding their growing erections together. Castiel’s head fell back against the door and his eyes fluttered shut. Dean latched on to his neck with a series of wet, sucking kisses.

“ _Fuck_.” Castiel groaned. “Inside...Dean, inside.”

Dean nodded and pulled back just enough to let Castiel open the door, then followed him inside, kissing him wildly. Castiel’s hands were at the edge of his t-shirt, pulling it up and off before Dean could reach back to shut the door behind them. He managed to do just that a second later, even with Castiel’s mouth attached to his left nipple. 

“ _Cas,_ god that feels-” Dean moaned, the rest of his words cut off with Castiel’s mouth as he was pressed back into the now closed front door. Dean reached down and pulled up Castiel’s drenched shirt, taking it off and letting it fall to the floor with a plop as Castiel continued to kiss him. Bare chested and panting, Dean pushed Castiel backwards with his body, moving them towards his bedroom as quickly as he could manage.

It was happening, they were finally together and they were about to have sex and Dean was well aware of how badly he has wanted this and for how long. There was a very good chance their first time together would not last very long. 

Dean arched his hips into Castiel’s as they continued to walk backwards and felt the hard length of Castiel’s cock pushing back at him. The sensation sent shivers of intense pleasure through his body, all but confirming how quickly it would all be over for him. Castiel’s hands were on his ass, pushing their hips together again and making it impossible for Dean to keep walking them backwards. They both let out guttural groans that went straight to Dean’s cock and sent his mind in all different directions of the best ways to get into Castiel’s pants. If Dean’s boxers hadn’t already been soaked through, he would definitely have a rather large wet spot collecting in the center.

“We’re never going to get to the bed if you keep doing that.” Dean said, panting against Castiel’s neck as he sucked a kiss below his jaw.

“Fuck the bed.” Castiel growled back and pushed Dean against the wall of his hallway. He kissed Dean again, this time biting at his lower lip softly and then sucking it into his own mouth. “God, I’ve wanted-” He cut himself off when Dean flicked his tongue over the pulse point at the bolt of his jaw and Castiel gasped softly. “You have _no_ idea, Dean.”

“I think I got a pretty good idea.” Dean replied, moving his hand down and rubbing his palm over Castiel’s erection. Castiel’s eyes rolled back as he groaned and pushed himself into Dean’s hand. Then the doctor’s hands were at Dean’s waist, pushing his fingers under the waistband of Dean’s boxers and pushing them down. The material clung to Dean’s skin, but Castiel just yanked harder until Dean’s cock was out and Castiel’s hand was wrapping around it.

“Oh, _God_ , Cas.” Dean gasped. “ _Fuck, yes._ ”

Castiel hummed against his lips and pushed his tongue back inside. The doctor’s hand was large and sure, stroking Dean’s cock with a kind of perfection Dean didn’t know possible. His mind went blank upon contact, but Dean’s desire to touch Castiel resurfaced quickly and he ripped down the doctor’s pajamas pants to get his hands around the other man’s cock. Castiel groaned when Dean’s fingers encircled him and then the doctor thrusted shallowly into the fist Dean prepared for him. 

“ _Dean._ ” Castiel said it like a curse, like Dean’s name was the most powerful word he could use in that moment. “Yes, just...just like that.”

Their mouths collided again, their kiss sloppy and erratic as each of them got lost in the sensation of finally being touched so intimately by the other. Needing _more_ , Dean pulled at Castiel’s wrist to pull him off his cock, then aligned their hips so that their throbbing erections were rubbing against each other. Castiel let out a loud groan as Dean took them both in hand. The firefighter used his thumb to spread the leaking precome from both heads, down their shafts and began pumping his hand over both of their cocks. Castiel added his hand on top of Dean’s and then they were stroking their cocks in tandem and kissing passionately against the wall. 

“Cas, I won’t-” Dean tried to say, but he couldn’t get the words out. There were ripples of pleasure riding through his entire body, pooling in his gut and threatening to obliterate his senses any second. Dean thought he might come right then and there, just from the pure hedonistic quality of their first time together. It was honest and raw, and he was just so desperate for it. 

Castiel nodded against Dean’s shoulder, where the doctor was also panting in pleasure, and then raised his head back up to kiss Dean again. Their hands moved faster together, over and over, hot and wet, slipping perfectly over their aching hardness. 

Dean was climbing, rising, _soaring_ so fast he was sure to fly away any second. 

“I’m gunna-” Dean gasped, “ Cas, I-I-”

And then Dean was coming, coming harder than he ever had before. It was explosive and the very definition of mind blowing. A burst of pleasure that turned fuzzy around the edges of his consciousness, only to then be replaced by an intense clarity that made Dean fully aware of how truly amazing the last few minutes of his life had been. His entire body shook with the force of his orgasm as he spilled over their combined hands. The added lubrication sent Castiel over the edge a second later, the doctor’s lips parting and moaning out Dean’s name as his hot release joined Dean’s in coating their hands and stomachs. 

They were kissing again, Dean didn’t know when they had started kissing again, but they were and it was slow, deep, and stealing all the breath Dean had left in him. His knees felt weak, his legs were killing him, but the only thing that Dean focused on was the feel of Castiel’s tongue rolling over his own and the other hand not wrapped around his cock, but on the back of his neck, stroking softly through his hair. It was pure bliss, Dean was sure of it. 

Their kiss was interrupted by the lights in his apartment coming back on and the gentle hum of his refrigerator kicking to life. Castiel pulled back a little bit and smiled shyly back Dean. 

“That was...” Dean started, but then Castiel removed his sticky hand from their softening penises and the sensation sent a shiver down Dean’s body. 

“...amazing.” He finished with his eyes closed. He felt Castiel press his lips gently to Dean’s and Dean smiled beneath them.

“It really was,” Castiel whispered against his lips. “I could use a shower though.”

Dean nodded his agreement.

He led them to his bathroom, where they each discarded the pants that didn’t quite make it off during their hallway sex. Dean turned on the shower, then both men climbed in and stepped under the spray. The water was hot, but having Castiel’s arms wrapped around his body made Dean feel a kind of warmth that had nothing to do with the shower. The doctor stood behind him, his chin resting on Dean’s shoulder as Dean reached for the body wash to lather up his washcloth.

“I’m sorry I left,” Castiel said quietly, his arms tightening around Dean’s waist.

Dean bent his head back down to rest on Castiel’s.

“Thank you for coming back,” He replied, then pressed a kiss to Castiel’s temple. “Come on, it’s got to be after midnight and you’ve got surgery in the morning. Let’s get washed up and into bed.”

Castiel sighed but didn’t argue. When the washcloth was sufficiently lathered, Dean turned around and began washing Castiel’s chest, who gave the firefighter a surprised grin in response.

“You’re going to clean me up?” Castiel asked playfully.

“Well, you are _very_ dirty. I think you could use the extra help.” Dean snickered, then kissed Castiel, because now that he was allowed to, it was going to be very hard not to every chance he got.

“Thank you.” Castiel responded softly and turned around when Dean motioned for him to. Dean washed along Castiel’s back and shoulders, then dipped down to his ass and thighs. He reached around to give his stomach another scrub, then worked his way down each arm. Castiel sighed blissfully when Dean’s hands strayed back down and rubbed the cloth gently over his penis and groin. Dean pressed a kiss to the nape of Castiel’s neck, then pulled his hands back to himself, preparing to wash up as well.

Castiel turned and wrapped his hand around Dean’s wrist to grab the washcloth from him. Without a word, he lathered the washcloth again, then began to wash Dean’s body just as Dean had done for him. The doctor stopped to kiss certain parts along the way. He started with Dean’s chest, then moved the firefighter’s bicep, his neck, his navel, eventually sliding down to his knees so he could kiss the scar on Dean’s leg from the surgery Castiel had preformed. 

Dean was conflicted by the sweetness of the gesture and the pure, unadulterated lust that came with seeing Castiel on his knees before him. If he had the refractory period of his much younger self, just the sight of the doctor down there would have had Dean half-hard and begging for it again, but as it was, Dean was not so young anymore and he also was very aware of how late it had gotten. He sent a playful, disapproving frown down to the doctor, who cheekily pressed a kiss to the head of Dean’s penis, before rising with smirk.

“Another time.” Castiel whispered as he brushed his lips against Dean’s. Dean nodded and kissed him back.

“Another time for sure.” 

They kissed for a moment under the shower’s spray, their tongues softly exploring each other’s mouth as their arms wound around the other’s waist. If they continued, Dean knew it would only be a few minutes before they would soon be reenacting their hallway performance, so he reluctantly took a step back and turned off the shower. 

“You need to sleep.” He said by way of explanation, when the doctor looked less than pleased to have been interrupted. “Can’t have you falling asleep while you’re cutting someone open.”

Castiel chuckled softly and nodded.

“I supposed you’re right.”

Castiel followed Dean out of the shower and took the towel the firefighter offered him. They dried off quickly, taking a break to kiss because it seemed neither of them could stop themselves from doing so anymore. When they were sufficiently dry, Dean took Castiel’s hand and led him to his bedroom. His alarm clock blinked the wrong time, since he had never put batteries in the thing, but Dean ignored it. He usually used his phone for his alarm anyway, which was already set to wake them at five o’clock in the morning. 

When they reached the bed, Dean stopped and turned to Castiel.

“Do you have a side preference?”

“Not really, no.” Castiel answered, looking both happy and a little skittish at the same time. “Inia- um, I usually sleep on the right, but I think maybe the left side for tonight. Is that alright?”

“Sure.” Dean nodded and didn’t ask about what it was Castiel originally had wanted to say. If Castiel didn’t want to explain himself more fully right now, Dean understood. It was late and they had already gone through enough emotional rollercoaster’s for a day. Instead, Dean climbed onto the left side of his bed and waited for Castiel to join him. 

It took the doctor a moment. He stood at the edge and stared down at Dean, obviously troubled but smiling despite whatever it was that was bothering him. Dean waited patiently. He knew that the last person Castiel had climbed into bed like this with, was probably Inias, and that fact might be something that Castiel would find upsetting. Dean didn’t want to rush him. 

After a hefty pause, the weight on Castiel’s shoulder’s seemed to lift and then he smiled down at Dean. Dean smiled back and let out a silent sigh of relief when Castiel finally lifted the sheets and climbed into bed next to him. Dean was about to ask about whether Castiel was a cuddler or if he preferred to sleep on his own, but the question became unnecessary when the doctor slid closer to him and laid his arm over Dean’s stomach. The doctor’s head came to rest below Dean’s shoulder on his chest, just above Dean’s heart.

“Is this all right?” Castiel asked quietly, his fingers trailing up Dean’s forearm in a soft caress.

“It’s perfect.” Dean replied and moved his arm out from his side to wrap around Castiel’s back. He placed the other on the doctor’s upper arm and stroked him softly. “I’m glad you like to sleep close. I’m pretty sure I’ve thought about falling asleep in your arms about a thousand times.”

“Me too,” Castiel said back quietly. Dean felt his lips move against the skin of his chest, a sensation that traveled down his abdomen and threatened to fill his cock, but Dean pushed down all thoughts of arousal. Then, of course, his mind traitorously supplied him with images of their incredible hand jobs just minutes before, something Dean didn’t need to be thinking about if he wanted to fall asleep anytime soon. The doctor’s cock had been impressive though, smooth and above average in size. The picture of it in his mind made Dean squirm with desire to feel the weight of Castiel’s cock on his tongue or the stretch of it in his ass.

“Something wrong?” Castiel asked, in response to Dean’s little wiggle in the sheets.

Dean laughed softly and shook his head.

“Just thinking about the future,” He whispered back. “I’ve got a few things I’m looking forward to.”

Castiel yawned and nodded in agreement.

“Just as long as one of those things is you fucking me into this mattress,” Castiel replied back sleepily. 

Dean startled at the bluntness of Castiel’s request, but laughed after a second and reached down to kiss the doctor’s head. Castiel responded by craning his neck up to steal a proper kiss. Dean was definitely looking forward to that too, sinking inside of Castiel and taking him apart thrust by thrust. 

“As long as you return the favor,” Dean whispered against Castiel’s lips, and he felt the doctor smile in response. 

“Absolutely.” 

They kissed again, soft and chase this time, then fell back into comfortable sleeping positions. After a few minutes, Dean heard Castiel’s breathing even out and he knew the doctor had fallen asleep. Dean drifted off soon after, thoughts of their future and all that would come with it, lulling him to sleep.


	27. Chapter 27

Dean was awoken not by the buzz of his alarm, but by soft kisses dusting along his jaw. He hummed his approval at the wakeup call and reached his hands out to find the warm body he knew to be supplying the kisses. His hands, though, found only cold sheets and Dean opened his eyes with a start.

“Good Morning,” Dean’s favorite voice whispered softly down to him. Castiel was sitting on the edge of his bed next to him, fully dressed and smelling like Dean’s shampoo and toothpaste. “I have to go now.”

Groggy, Dean mumbled something about the time then tried to pull Castiel back in bed with him. The doctor laughed and allowed himself to be pressed into Dean’s chest, burrowing his face in the firefighter’s neck and kissing the stubble of Dean’s jaw again.

“Too early,” Dean finally said. “How are you already dressed?”

“You slept through the alarm.” Castiel responded, pulling back. He still leaned heavily over Dean, propped up on his elbows. The doctor’s hand swooped over Dean’s forehead and brushed his hair off of it. “It’s nearly fife thirty.”

“Shit,” Dean said, loosening his grip some. “I’m sorry, I was going to get up with you and make you breakfast.”

Castiel chuckled softly. His eyes looked incredibly blue that morning.

“No need. I’ll grab something at the hospital. I really should go now.”

Dean furrowed his brow at the thought of the doctor leaving, but Castiel smoothed out the lines in his forehead with his thumb.

“You’re not running away, are you?” Dean blurted out hoarsely, not really sure where the thought came from but realizing then how much he needed to hear that wasn’t the case. 

“No,” Castiel replied quietly. “I’m not running away. I promise, if it weren’t for the ACL reconstruction I have this morning, I’d still be in bed with you.”

“Okay, good.” Dean said, satisfied. His eyes fluttered closed. 

“Do you have plans for the day?” Castiel asked, leaning back up and standing next to the bed.

“I have a few things to do at the station,” Dean replied, opening his eyes again. “Not much else, why?”

“I thought maybe you could bring me coffee,” Castiel said with a smirk. “You know how tired I get.”

The request went straight to what Dean now realized, was an incredible display of morning wood beneath his sheets. He knew they didn’t have time to do anything about it though, so Dean didn’t mention it. He nodded quickly instead.

“I think I can manage that.”

Castiel’s smirk grew into a bright grin, then he bent down and kissed Dean’s lips gently. Dean’s mouth felt like someone had pissed in it overnight and then tried to soak the mess up with cotton balls, so he wasn’t eager to be kissed deeply, but Castiel didn’t try to press his tongue into the sleepy firefighter’s mouth. After a moment, the doctor straightened and wished Dean a good day, saying he would see him later, before walking out of the bedroom and then the apartment altogether.

Dean rolled over and pressed his face into the pillow Castiel had slept on. There were traces of his scent and Dean breathed in deeply, feeling both ridiculous and romantic at the same time. He continued to use Castiel’s pillow as he slowly drifted back off to sleep.

 

***

Dean whistled while he worked on an engine at the fire station, drowning out all other sounds. His mind was a jumble of engine parts and hot doctor parts, which was a combination that left Dean eager to finish his work and get to the hospital to see Castiel. Somewhere in the back of his mind, Dean knew he had an uncomfortable call to make to Lisa, to tell her they wouldn't be going on a third date, but Dean didn't let that bother him. Kevin interrupted his thoughts a few times to ask him about a particularly troublesome carburetor in another engine, and when Dean kept smiling through his explanation of the right way to remove a float, Bobby tried to send him home. 

“I can’t have you in here when you’re clearly high as a kite!” Bobby shouted from across the room. “Get your ass home and get back in bed, boy.”

Dean was shocked, but laughed as soon as he realized what Bobby had misinterpreted.

“I’m not on anything Bobby.” He said with another laugh. “I’m just smiling. Is that a crime?”

“That much? It damn well should be. What have you got to be so goddamn happy about?”

Dean shrugged and continued to help Kevin with his carburetor cleaning woes. When he finished, and eventually got to finish his own work, Kevin pulled Dean aside and out of earshot of the other firefighters in the garage.

“So, happy, huh?” His tone was conspiratory, making Dean blush slightly.

“Yeah, so?”

“And what has got you so happy, Dean?”

“Stuff.” Dean said defensively. He wasn’t hiding his new found relationship, but he wasn’t eager to get into it right now. 

“Stuff?” Kevin echoed incredulously.

“That’s what I said.”

“Mhmm. Okay. You headed to the hospital now?”

Dean paused at the very suggestive tone Kevin had used. 

“Yeah, I was actually. Problem with that Kev?” Dean raised an eyebrow to look intimidating, but Kevin just laughed and gave Dean an innocent smile that reminded Dean of how nice a guy Kevin was.

“No, Dean. No problem. Have fun.”

Kevin turned back towards the truck he was working on, but Dean stopped his departure with a hand on his shoulder.

“Thanks, Kevin.” He said with a smile. 

“Sure.” Kevin replied, a little surprised. “You know, I don’t think I’ve ever seen you this happy. _Whatever it is_ , hold on to it.”

“That’s the plan.” Dean said back with a smile. Kevin walked away then, leaving Dean with yet another large, goofy smile on his face. 

 

***

Right as Dean arrived at the coffee kiosk at the hospital, he received a text message from Castiel telling Dean to meet him on the fifth floor of the hospital instead of in his office. Dean ordered their coffees quickly and headed up to the fifth floor, butterflies in this stomach and a grin on his face. It had only been eight hours since he’d seen the doctor, but Dean was so excited to lay eyes on the beautiful blue eyed man. This was the first time Dean would visit Castiel at the hospital since they had gotten together, and it was as much thrilling as it was nerve wracking. 

Firstly, Dean didn’t know how to refer to Castiel in his mind. If had been anyone else after a night of hand jobs and cuddling, Dean would say they were seeing each other, and not add a label to it, but with Castiel it was different. Not only were they friends first, they had told each other how much the other meant to them, something that accompanied committed relationships, not _seeing each other_. So...boyfriends? Dean thought maybe so, but he wasn’t going to ask Castiel out right. No, he would just see how things played out.

Second, Dean wasn’t sure how Castiel felt about public displays of affection, which would become necessary information in about three minutes. Dean wasn’t the make out in front of other people type of partner, but he was the _quick peck on the lips_ or hand on the small of the back type, and if Castiel didn’t like that, Dean would probably find out the hard way.

Then, of course, there was the she-devil that who was now is doctor, probably strolling along the halls of the hospital plotting ways to make things difficult for Dean. He wasn’t sure if it was jealousy or just over-protectiveness that made Meg react to Dean the way she had so far, but Dean was eager to put that rivalry to bed. She was friends with Castiel, Dean wanted to try and get along for Castiel’s sake at least.

By the time the elevator door’s chime upon the arrival to the fifth floor, Dean is a ball of nerves and wishing he had asked Castiel to meet him downstairs. It only a few seconds to spot the doctor though, and Dean’s nerves transitioned from apprehension to anticipation instantly. Castiel was standing at the nurses’ station, statuesque in his pose, reading a chart on the counter and leaning on it slightly. His white lab coat covered the ass Dean now knew was as flawless as it had always seemed, but Dean still felt himself grow a little warm at the sight of it. The firefighter allowed himself a few seconds to just stare at the other man, basking in his sexy stance and focused expression, until a nurse pulled Castiel’s attention from his chart and he looked up to speak with her. The doctor smiled after their exchange, and that pushed Dean to finally walk over to him. Dean wanted that smiled directed at _him_.

“Hey there,” Dean said as casually as he could manage, strolling up behind Castiel. 

Castiel turned and the doctor’s face instantly became brighter upon locking eyes with Dean. If there were any worries about Castiel regretting their night together, they would have be history right then. There was sudden tension in the doctor’s body though, just as if he too was unsure as to how to proceed. They were in unchartered territory, and someone was going to have to set the pace as to how things would go. Dean hoped it would be Castiel. 

“Hi,” Castiel greeted, his smile a little more shy than it had been seconds before. 

Dean stopped a couple feet away from him, still anxious about how to greet the doctor. Castiel made no move to close the distance between them. Holding the coffee towards the doctor, Dean tried to make himself look nonchalant, as if it was just like every other afternoon they had met up, and not like they had seen each other naked and gotten each other off the night before. Castiel took the coffee with a slightly awkward smile and an even more awkward nod.

“Thank you,” Castiel said appreciatively. He sipped the coffee and hummed his enjoyment. “Delicious, as always.” 

Dean had planned to say, _‘You’re welcome.’_ , but he was too occupied by Castiel’s lips and their slightly chapped state as he sipped the coffee, making Dean want to lick across and soothe them with his tongue. It was a comforting distraction, something Dean could rely on to pull him out of the uncomfortableness of their situation. His familiar attraction to Castiel was firmly intact, and by the way the doctor’s eyes were currently sweeping down Dean’s body as the doctor drank his coffee, Castiel’s attraction to him was also present and accounted for. Everything was fine, they just had to find their way back to familiar ground.

“So,” Dean said with a cough, “How’s your day so far?”

“Shit.” Castiel replied harshly. 

Dean was about to question the abrupt statement, but he realized Castiel’s eyes were no longer on him, but looking past him and down the hallway. Then, Dean heard the dark omen that was the combination of high heels clicking down the hallway and a suitcase being pulled behind them. 

“Dr. Peterson!” A high pitched, excited voice called from behind Dean. Castiel’s eyes darted around him and widened considerably. “I’m so glad to run into you, have you heard about the new the new anti-anxiety med I’ve got for you? You’ll be-”

Becky’s voice was cut off by a woman with a deep voice saying something about needed to get to surgery. Dean’s arm was then abruptly squeezed and pulled forward.

“Come on!” Castiel whispered, pulling Dean along with him down the hallway. “In here.”

The doctor opened an unmarked door and pushed dean inside, closing the door behind them. It was very dark, but Dean heard Castiel fumbling along the wall and then a florescent light clicked on above them. Dean took in his surroundings. It was a small closet, it’s walls filled with shelves of medical supplies. 

“Did you seriously just run and hide from the pharm rep?” Dean accused, smirking back at the doctor as Castiel leaned against the door.

“Trust me, you would have done the same,” Castiel shook his head and grinned back. “The woman is impossible. She will not stop talking no matter what you say. I think she thinks all I do is perform emergency surgeries. It’s the only way to get away from her!”

Dean laughed, his body swaying closer as it lost some of the tension from earlier.

“You’re afraid of a little girl.” Dean teased.

Castiel balked, but then sighed and nodded.

“I really am.”

Dean laughed again, then the tiny closet fell into silence. Castiel shifted nervously on his feet, his eyes falling to the space on the floor between them. Dean followed his gaze.

The firefighter felt the awkwardness from out in the hallway, attempting to slip its way inside the closet, but he tried very hard to push it away. There was nothing to be awkward about, they were still the same people, they still wanted the same things. The tension was just a reaction to their new status. The insecurity he was feeling, was sure to pass any moment now.

He waited. Castiel made no move to break the silence.

“So...” Dean said lamely, eyes still on the floor.

“So.” Castiel repeated back. His voice sounded just as unsure, but there was no question behind the echo. 

Dean slowly pulled his gaze from the floor, and found Castiel already staring back at him. Then, like a damn had broken, the men were all over each other. Dean had Castiel backed against the door, pressing the doctor into it with his hips. Castiel’s lips covered Dean’s with a hard, unrelenting kiss, which ignited a kind of passion in Dean that he had only felt one other time in his life. After Castiel discarded his coffee cup on the nearest shelf, hands groped down bodies, grabbing arms and shoulders, hips and ass. Dean’s tongue pushed inside of Castiel’s mouth and the doctor moaned into the kiss, swiping his tongue over Deans and bucking his hips up. Both men were quickly hard in their pants and rocking into each other, their passion an unstoppable force that wouldn’t subside until they found release.

Dean kissed his way down Castiel’s neck and Castiel unbuttoned Dean’s jeans and pushed his hand inside. The firefighter’s lips stuttered at Castiel’s Adam’s apple as the doctor wrapped his perfect hand around Dean’s cock and began to stroke him roughly. Dean keened and thrusted his hips into Castiel’s hand, but then the doctor was pulling his hand back out and bringing it up in front of Dean’s face. Dean knew exactly what was being asked of him, and flicked his tongue over the palm of Castiel’s hand, wetting it entirely, before bringing each individual finger into his mouth, eyes hard on the doctor’s as he did. Dean swirled his tongue around the tip of Castiel’s index finger then sucked it in to the knuckle. The doctor let out a growl of a sound as he watched Dean tease him, his eyes darkening considerably. 

Dean kept his hands out of Castiel’s pants, even when the doctor made his way back down to Dean’s cock and began stroking him again. Dean had other plans for the doctor’s cock. Castiel didn’t seem to mind. He was entirely occupied with the feel of Dean’s lips on his throat, his collar bone, his ear lobe, his mouth. Dean kissed Castiel thoroughly as the doctor pushed him closer to orgasm. The hand that was not wrapped around Dean’s cock, was skirting up Dean’s chest and brushing over the firefighter’s nipples. There was a soft pinch, just as Castiel’s hand did a slight twist at the head of Dean’s cock and Dean groaned appreciatively. 

Dean was getting close, Castiel’s hand working faster and faster over his cock in a way that had Dean wondering if he would black out from the intensity of it. He really didn’t want to come all over himself, but Dean was too far gone to give it much more thought than that. He could just clean up in the bathroom afterwards, maybe even get a pair of scrub pants to go home in. All concerns about getting come on his jeans were abruptly thrown out the window though, as Castiel removed his hand from Dean’s cock and pushed the firefighter’s jeans down to his thighs.

Then, the doctor dropped to his knees.

A second later, Dean’s cock was being sucked into a wet, hot mouth that knew exactly what it was doing. Castiel’s tongue swirled around the head of Dean’s cock and his hands trailed up Dean’s thighs to squeeze at Dean’s ass. Dean held himself steady at first, but then, after a particularly deep suck of his cock, Dean leaned forward with a groan and rested his hands on the door behind Castiel. 

He wasn’t going to last more than another few seconds, of this Dean was sure, and Dean regretted the hell out of that fact. Castiel was bobbing his head back and forth, bringing Dean’s cock further and further into his mouth until the firefighter felt the tip of his cock hit the back of Castiel’s throat. Then Castiel swallowed around him and the Dean’s entire world shattered. He was coming violently, with a guttural shout that he stifled by biting around the closed fist he had brought to his mouth. 

It took Dean a moment to come back to the room, to the moment. Castiel had swallowed down his release with no obvious problems, which Dean was both turned on by, and grateful for. There was no messy clean up to worry about, which meant Dena could just bask in the amazing feeling of having just received a blowjob from _Cas_ and how Dean had every intention of returning the favor.

Castiel rose to his feet, kissing along Dean’s neck once he could reach. The doctor’s erection was poking into Dean’s naked hip, a reminder of what Dean had been dying to do for quite awhile now. He reached down between them and began unbuckling Castiel’s belt. The doctor moaned as he made it up to Dean’s mouth, and Dean opened for him, tasting himself on Castiel’s tongue and reveling in the intimacy of it. Dean was quick with Castiel’s belt, next opening the doctor’s slacks with one hand as the other hand traveled around to Castiel’s ass to give it a hard squeeze.

“ _Dean_.” Castiel moaned, as Dean finally pulled the doctor free of his pants and wrapped his hand around him. “I’ve been thinking about this all morning.”

“Me too,” Dean answered, kissing Castiel with fervor before dropping to his knees and sucking the doctor into his mouth. He bobbed a few times, enjoying the sounds Castiel made above him and the small tugs to his hair, then Dean pulled off with a wet pop and kissed along the shaft, teasing Castiel a little bit. The doctor really did have a beautiful cock. Dean flicked his tongue over Castiel’s slit, tasting him and savoring the small drops of come that escaped.

“You taste so good, Cas,” Dean whispered against Castiel’s cock, letting his cheek rub against it as Dean kissed Castiel’s thigh.

“Dean, _please,_ ” Castiel whined above him, his hands carding through Dean’s hair. The doctor didn’t push, but his desires were very clear. Dean smirked as he looked up at Castiel, locking eyes with him, then parted his lips around the tip of Castiel’s cock and swallowed him down slowly. Castiel looked like he might come right then, just from the image of Dean staring up at him with hungry eyes, as the firefighter sucked Castiel into his mouth.

“Oh my god. _Fuck_ , Dean!” Castiel panted, his hips bucking slightly as Dean pulled back and then pushed forward again, making his lips firm but loose around Castiel’s shaft. His tongue moved along the underside the doctor’s cock as he continued to bob, pulling incredible sounds from the man above him. Dean nudged Castiel’s hips forward with his hands, urging Castiel to fuck into his mouth a little bit to send the doctor over the edge. With just two small thrusts, Castiel was coming down Dean’s throat with a groan that did wonderful things for Dean’s ego.

When the doctor was spent and Dean had licked him clean, Dean was pulled to his feet and kissed ravenously.

“You-” Kiss. “Are _far_ -” Kiss. “Too good at that.” Castiel said between kisses.

“I’m glad you approve,” Dean replied, kissing him back. “You are certainly no slouch yourself. That was incredible.”

“Mhmm.” Castiel hummed back, licking into Dean’s mouth again. Their pants were still around their thighs, their naked groins pressing together as they continued to kiss. 

“We really don’t have time for another round.” Castiel said after Dean’s cock began to kick back to life. Dean didn’t think he had bounced back that quickly since his twenties. “I’ve got doctor stuff to do.”

“Doctor stuff? Is that the official medical term?” Dean teased against his lips.

“It is when you’ve just sucked my brain out my dick.” Castiel deadpanned, making Dean laugh. They kissed languidly for a few more seconds, then Dean pulled back and pressed a chaste peck to the doctor’s lips.

“What are you doing tonight?”

“I’ve got plans with Gabriel and Jimmy.” Castiel said glumly, as if seeing his brothers was the last thing he wanted to do. “And I’ve got my monthly in the ER tomorrow night, but I’m free Thursday. Do you want to come over and make use of the thing I use to store back issues of my medical journals?”

“You keep medical journals in your oven?” Dean asked in disbelief. “Did you really just tell a firefighter that you keep old paper inside of a heating device?”

“Um, no?” Castiel looked back at him with false innocence. “I definitely did not imply that.”

Dean frowned, but couldn’t keep his lips from turning into a smile at the cute expression Castiel beamed back at him. Dean laughed and pressed another kiss to the doctor’s lips.

“Fine, I’ll cook for you, but you have to promise to find a new place for those journals.”

“What journals?” Castiel said coyly, pulling another laugh from the firefighter. “So, I’ll see you Thursday?”

It was only two days away, but Dean felt like he may not survive that long without any contact with the man still half naked and pressed against him. 

“It’s a date,” Dean replied, smiling. “Although, you’ll probably hear from me before then. I don’t think I know how to go that long without talking to you.”

“Good.” Castiel smiled and kissed Dean again. “Me neither.”

They indulged in another short make out session, before reluctantly pulling up their pants and sorting out their clothing to make themselves look presentable. 

“Well,” Dean said. “I am going to go bother Jo for a bit, then head back to the station to help Bobby with some paperwork.”

Castiel picked up his lukewarm coffee from the shelf and sipped from it.

“I am going to try and get through this day without thinking about what we just did in this closet.” Castiel said, looking around at the shelves. “I don’t think I’ll ever be able to come in here again without getting hard.”

Dean grinned.

“My plan is working then.”

“Your plan?” Castiel asked, turning to open the door a crack to look outside, presumably to make sure no one was standing right at the door.

“Yeah, my plan for you to associate everywhere you go, with sex with me. It’s going to take a lot of time, but I think it’s accomplishable.”

Castiel turned back with a laugh, rolling his eyes as he stepped forward and pressed one last kiss to Dean’s mouth. 

“Sounds like a good plan,” Castiel chuckled. “I have to go, talk to you later?”

“Count on it.” Dean smiled, then slapped the doctor’s ass before Castiel could slip through the door to leave. “Later, Doc.”

He could hear Castiel laughing into the hall. Dean waited a second, then followed him.

“Goodbye, Dean.” Castiel said in a mock stern voice that reminded Dean so much of their first weeks together it sent an arousing chill down his spine.

Dean watched the doctor walk away, then turned and walked in the opposite direction. If he was going to catch Jo before she went on her afternoon break, he would have to book it to her floor. He would take the stairs and worry about how much shit he would get for it later.

Except as soon as Dean turned around, there was a small brunette leaning against the wall by the staircase at the end of the hall, watching him. Dean swallowed hard upon sighting her, then steeled himself for whatever bullshit Dr. Master’s had planned to sling his way. If she wanted to be a bitch about him and Castiel, fine. They were together now, Dean was _damn_ happy, and she wasn’t going to ruin that.

As he approached the stairwell, Dr. Master’s quirked her eyebrow up in interest.

“Did you and Castiel get lost in there?”

Dean stopped and leered at her.

“I needed a band aid.” He said with a straight face. “The doctor’s at this hospital are just _so_ helpful.”

“I’ll bet.” Dr. Masters answered. Dean expected her to launch into some sort of monologue about what she had just witnessed, but she didn’t do anything besides stare at the firefighter. After a moment, she gestured towards the stairwell. “Carry on.”

Dean regarded her for a second, then did just that. He escaped through the stairwell and sighed in relief when she didn’t follow. Not one to kick a gift horse in the mouth, Dean climbed the stairs to Jo’s therapy rooms, not thinking of the mean Dr. Masters, but the amazing Dr. Novak, who Dean planned to send very sexy text messages to that evening.

Dean had four drafted in his mind before he reached the top step.

**Notes for the Chapter:**

> Thanks for being patient! Enjoy ;)


	28. Chapter 28

While Castiel was busy that night spending time with his brothers, Dean did the same. He went over to Sam and Eileen’s and had dinner with them and Ben, wondering how he was going to tell his brother about him and Castiel. Dean didn’t want to give Sam the satisfaction of being right about the whole thing, but he also couldn’t wait to yell from the rooftops about his and Castiel’s relationship upgrade. It was doubtful Dean would be able to keep it a secret very long anyway, judging by how much he was smiling and finding joy in everything from spoiled milk to traffic jams. Nothing could bring him down.

Surprisingly, Sam didn’t notice Dean’s heightened glee when he showed up for dinner with bagged salad and a six pack of beer. He just grunted from behind his laptop and said something about how Eileen wouldn’t be happy with Dean’s salad choice.

“Big case?” Dean asked from the kitchen, putting the salad in the fridge and popping a beer for himself. 

Dean received another grunt for that, but no actual response came until the clacking of keys stopped and Sam finally looked up from his laptop screen.

“Sorry. Some asshole decided to sue the local coffee shop owner for making their coffee too hot,” Sam griped. He closed his laptop and stood up from the table. “I mean seriously, how much of a shithead do you have to be to sue a little old couple for making coffee _hot_? People like that are why everyone hates Americans.” 

“That’s rough, man,” Dean responded sympathetically. He tried to pull his permanent smile into something more appropriate. “When’s the hearing?”

“Next Thursday. Do you think you could take Ben? Eileen has a thing on campus and I don’t know how long this one will be.” Sam joined him in the kitchen and pulled open the fridge to grab a beer for himself.

“Sure, no problem. Maybe I’ll take him to that Angry Birds movie.”

“He’d like that,” Sam said back with the smile he reserved for his son. “He’s been begging to go to a movie too.”

“Well, that’s perfect then.” Dean leaned against the counter and sipped his beer. He purposely didn’t meet his brother’s eye, knowing that Sam wouldn’t take long to figure out what was up with him now that he wasn’t distracted with work.

Dean only had to wait thirty seconds before Sam’s eyes were narrowing on him.

“What’s with you?”

“Hmm?” Dean responded innocently. “Nothing.”

“No...there’s something...” Sam continued to scrutinize. Finally his eyebrows lifted along with the corner of his mouth. “You got laid.”

Dean wasn’t about to give it up that easy. He shook his head, but averted his eyes and sipped his beer again.

“No, I didn’t.”

“You so did,” Sam laughed. “So I guess things with Lisa went well then?”

Dean choked on his beer and sputtered around the bottle as he worked the liquid out of his throat.

“You okay?” Sam slapped Dean hard on the back. “You gonna make it?”

“Yeah.” Dean replied when he got his breath back. “Yeah, um, yeah. I’m good.”

“So, you and Lisa huh?” Sam inquired, leading them into the living room. “Second date must have been pretty good for you to have already slept with her.”

Dean didn’t answer immediately. It wasn’t that he wanted Sam to think he was with Lisa, who he actually hadn’t talked to since their second date aside from a few friendly text responses, it was more like he _really_ wanted to fuck with his brother. Sam had called him out on his feelings for Castiel so many times and Dean had always denied it, he was never going to hear the end of it when Dean finally confessed to Sam that he and Castiel were together now. 

Thankfully, Dean was saved from having to give a response, when his nephew came flying into the room wearing a ninja costume and hurdling plastic throwing stars at him.

“Ahh!” Dean jumped dramatically in the air, cringing slightly when he landed. He wasn’t completely back to normal after his injuries, but Dean was ready to start living like he was. 

_I’m under attack!_

_Surrender now or prepare to die!_

Dean burst into laughter at his nephews command, but raised his hands in the air and bowed his head slightly. After a moment, Dean lowered his hands again and signed,

_Am I free to go now?_

Ben seemed to think about that for a moment, then nodded.

_You will call me Master and I will train you to be a ninja warrior._

Sam laughed from beside him and Dean couldn’t suppress his own chuckles as he pulled his nephew forward and began tickling him relentlessly. Ben giggled and squeaked, until finally squirming away and running back down the hallway where he came from.

“Call me Master?” Dean turned around and sent the question to Sam, who was still laughing.

“Don’t look at me!” Sam responded. “I have no idea where he gets some of this stuff. Last week he told Eileen he was a pirate named Tom BigNose and walked around the house with an eye patch and a plastic bird’s beak taped to his nose.”

Dean laughed again, “Your kid is so awesome.”

“You gotta get you one,” Sam replied with a smile. 

“Yeah, eventually,” Dean replied with a sigh. “That’s the plan, anyway.”

“Do you know if Lisa wants kids?” Sam asked, moving back into the kitchen and turning on the stove. 

“Um, that’s not exactly second date talk, Sammy.”

“No, I guess it isn’t,” Sam replied. “Eileen marinated some chicken. I’m just going to mash some potatoes to go with it. Sound okay?”

“Sounds perfect,” Dean nodded and began helping Sam peel potatoes. “Where is the lady of the house?”

“She is upstairs grading papers. Summer term. She wasn’t going to teach, but they offered her extra money and she wasn’t about to turn it down. Especially when...”

“Especially when what?” Dean asked absently, not picking up on the fact that his brother had stopped peeling potatoes beside him.

“Hm? Oh, nothing,” Sam replied quickly. “It never hurts to have more money.”

“Right.” Dean nodded. His mind was barely in the conversation at that point. He kept thinking of soft hands and warm lips, bright smiles and the most beautiful blue eyes he had ever seen. “Money’s good.”

“Oh, I wanted to tell you, we’re having the Novaks over on Saturday for lunch. Ben wants to play with Claire and Amelia and Eileen have been emailing back and forth recently. We thought it’d be nice to get to know them better. You can come over too, if you want”

“Um, yeah. Maybe.” Dean said, hearing the strain in his own voice. He didn’t want to outright lie to his brother about Castiel, but he also wanted to wait for the perfect moment to tell him. A moment that would make up for incessant teasing Dean has had to endure over the last few months.

“And don’t worry,” Sam continued. “I wasn’t going to even mention inviting Castiel. I don’t want you to think I’m trying to push anything on you. If you say you’re just friends, then I can respect that. I mean, I know I’ve been a bit of a dick about you two, but I’m honestly letting it go. If you want to invite Castiel then cool, otherwise I won’t even mention it.”

Dean paused and thought a second before answering.

“You can invite him if you want Sam. It’s your thing, not mine.”

“I just don’t want you to think I am trying to push you if I tell Jimmy to bring Castiel. I mean, it’s weird because you guys are actually friends so it shouldn’t be this-”

“Yeah, you’re turning this into a thing now.” Dean teased. A plan was formulating in his head as to how he was going to get back at Sam and he was eager to set it up. “Just tell Jimmy to bring Cas. It doesn’t have to be a big deal. It’ll be fun.”

“Okay, cool.” Sam nodded in satisfaction. “I will.”

“Great.” Dean smiled widely at him and tried not to let his eyes betray his mischievous thoughts. 

Dean set about cutting the peeled potatoes and placing them in the pot of water Sam prepared, letting his mind wander to the upcoming Saturday afternoon and the prank he had planned for his little brother.

 

***

 _ **Dean:**_ I didn’t tell Sam about us.

 _ **Castiel:**_ I didn’t tell my brothers either. I didn’t like the idea of giving them so much satisfaction.

 _ **Dean:**_ Exactly!   
_**Dean:**_ We aren’t going to get away with it for very long but-

Dean fingers stop typing as his phone lights up from an incoming phone call.

Cas.

Dean answers it with a smile.   
“We aren’t going to get away with not telling them. Not for very long at least.” Dean said by way of greeting.

“I know,” Castiel sighed on the other end of the phone. “I could barely get through one night. Gabriel kept asking me about our dinner the other night. I ended up telling him that I never went over to your house because of the storm. I can’t believe he believed me, I’m sure my face was three different shades of scarlet.”

“Not a very good liar are you?” Dean laughed. He was laying in bed, having planned on texting Cas right before going to sleep and not really expecting a response. Castiel had been out with his brothers, and Dean didn’t know how late the doctor would be getting in.

“Not really, no.” Castiel responded. Dean could hear him shifting, fabric rustling around the phone. “Are you?

“Sometimes,” Dean admitted. “My brother usually can tell though. He knew I’d, uh, gotten lucky recently, but he didn’t think it was you.”

“Gotten lucky? Do people still say that?” Castiel laughed.

“Yes. Me,” Dean said haughtily, smiling through his feigned offense. 

“Who did he think you hooked up with?”

“Oh so _‘hooked up’_ is okay, but not _‘get lucky’_?” Dean teased.

“People definitely still say ‘ _hooked up_.” Castiel defended.

“Says you.” 

“Yes,” Castiel replied back with a laugh. “Says me and the dozens of other people I’ve talked to, who have had rather unfortunate items stuck up their rectums and needed my help to retrieve them.”

“Ouch,” Dean replied with a cough. “That’s no good. What’s the weirdest thing you’ve pulled out?”

“Barbie heads,” Castiel answered immediately. Dean could hear the grimace in his voice. “Without a doubt the strangest night of my life.”

Dean laughed with his whole body, turning slightly in bed and curling into a little ball. There was more rustling of fabric on the other end of the line.

“Are you in bed?”

“Yes. You?”

“Mhmm. Nice and warm,” Dean answered. “I like it a lot better when you’re in it, though.

There was a slight pause on the other end of the line, but then Castiel was speaking and his voice seemed to have pitched an octave lower.

“Yes, I like that better too.” 

Dean felt a flutter start in his belly and move south.

“So, who was it then?” Castiel asked after a moment’s pause. “Who is it Sam thinks you’re sleeping with?”

“Lisa.” Dean answered. The buzz he was beginning to feel under his skin, weakened slightly. “I was going to correct him, but then I had no one else to blame my smile on.”

“Your smile?”

Dean laughed.

“According to everyone who has seen me today, I can’t stop grinning like an idiot.”

There was a small laugh on the other end of the line, a light sound that sent a warm sensation straight to Dean’s heart.

“I think I have an idea though, as to how to tell Sam about us. If you’re up for it, that is.”

“Up for it? Oh, god. What do I have to do? You’re not going to make me jump out of a cake are you?”

Dean laughed again, his lips physically incapable of doing anything but smiling. His cheeks were beginning to hurt.

“No, nothing like that.” Dean assured. “At least for this. The cake jumping thing may have to be revisited in the future.”

Castiel hummed around his amusement while Dean’s mind supplied him with images of a very naked Castiel jumping out of a large cake. There would be lots of icing that would need to be licked off and hopefully a dance of somekind...

Castiel yawned and pulled Dean out of his fantasy.

“You need to sleep.” Dean said softly. “Up since five and then out late with Gabe and Jimmy. Very naughty, Doc.”

“Oh, yes.” Castiel said sleepily. “The naughtiest.”

“If you aren’t working Saturday, can you make it to Sam’s for lunch?”

“Are you planning to torture him?”

“Yes. Absolutely.”

“All right.” Castiel agreed, yawning again. “As long as you help me get back at my brothers too.”

“Okay, bring Gabriel with you,” Dean replied. “ Or wait, maybe let’s wait on him and do something different. I feel like he deserves way worse than what I have planned for Sam and Jimmy.”

“What exactly are you planning?” 

“We can talk about it tomorrow,” Dean replied. “You’re exhausted. Sleep. I’ll talk to you before your ER shift tomorrow night.”

“Okay,” Castiel responded. He sounded like he was already half-asleep. “Sounds good.”

“Night Cas.” 

“Goodnight D-”

“Wait, Cas?” Dean rushed out, realizing there was something he needed to say and not wanting to go to sleep the day after they had gotten together without having said it.

“Yes?”

“I just- I wanted to say that, I’m really happy we’re doing this. And...thank you.” Dean paused for a second, then softened his voice as he continued. “For giving me- _us_ a chance.”

There was silence and Dean thought maybe the doctor had fallen asleep, but then he could practically hear Castiel smiling when the doctor finally responded.

“Thank _you_ for being patient,” Castiel said softly. “And persistent.”

Dean laughed and rolled back to his back, staring up at his ceiling and letting his mind roam over the many possible futures he could share with Castiel. They were silent for a long time, so long that Dean thought maybe Castiel did actually fall asleep. A quick whisper of the doctor’s name confirmed as much and Dean ended the call not with a goodbye, but with a promise.

“Always.”


	29. Chapter 29

Dean spent Wednesday afternoon at the YMCA, enjoying the space that came with an Olympic sized pool and the relaxation of the steam room in the men’s locker room. He swung by Charlie’s house on the way home to water seven plants, including one that was labeled sage, but Dean was fairly positive was actually weed. Wednesday evening he spent at home, reading his Popular Mechanics magazine and eating leftover pizza he had frozen in his freezer. His mind would occasionally drift to Castiel, who was spending his evening at the hospital, working his monthly emergency room shift. 

The doctor had called earlier to gripe about the upcoming shift, something that was required of all resident doctors. The board of the hospital felt it was necessary for everyone, even private practice doctors, to keep their emergency skills sharp. It also helped relieve the burden on the residents that worked strictly in the ER. Castiel did come out of his monthly shifts with rather amusing stories though, another of which he had passed on to Dean right before his shift started. It involved a cock ring and an oddly positioned cervix. Dean laughed about it for the next hour.

Before turning in for the night, Dean texted Castiel to wish goodnight.

 _ **Dean:**_ Hope your night is going well.   
_**Dean:**_ I’m heading to bed now. See you tomorrow night?

Dean settled into bed, hoping he would still be awake when Castiel would be able to text him back. He didn’t have to wait more than a minute though, before his phone was buzzing on his bedside table.

 _ **Castiel:**_ Yes. I’m looking forward to it. Is 6 okay?

 _ **Dean:**_ Sounds perfect. Lasagna?

 _ **Castiel:**_ Delicious. Bread?

 _ **Dean:**_ Of course! Lasagna without bread is blasphemous! You can take care of the green stuff.

 _ **Castiel:**_ How kind of you.

 _ **Dean:**_ Sarcasm doesn’t translate well into text, Cas

 _ **Castiel:**_ And yet, you knew 

_**Dean:**_ Well...  
 _ **Dean:**_ Fine.   
_**Dean:**_ I hope you get nothing but ass cases tonight.  
 _ **Dean:**_ Wait. I take that back. No asses for you.

 _ **Castiel:**_ : There is only one ass I have any interest in

 

Dean was already smiling, but his grin grew wolfish at Castiel’s reply.

 _ **Dean:**_ Oh, yeah?

 _ **Castiel:**_ Definitely.

 _ **Dean:**_ Good to know.

 _ **Castiel:**_ Did you have doubts?

Dean paused and thought over how he wanted to reply. They were approaching the relationship exclusivity conversation, which Dean didn’t think should take place over text messages. However, Castiel’s question did need to be answered.

 _ **Dean:**_ Not really, but we hadn’t talked about that yet.

 _ **Castiel:**_ Trust me, you have nothing to worry about.

Dean let out a soft sigh and smiled again.

 _ **Dean:**_ Well, neither do you.

 _ **Castiel:**_ That works out nicely then.

 _ **Dean:**_ Sure does.

 _ **Castiel:**_ I need to get back. Sleep well, Dean.

 _ **Dean:**_ Good luck with your shift. I look forward to hearing about it ;)

 

Dean placed his phone on his bedside table and sighed happily as he settled into his pillow. He fell asleep smiling.

 

***

Dean spent Thursday oscillating between intense nervousness and gut wrenching excitement. He was going over to Castiel’s house that night for the first time, they were going to have their first meal together after giving each other orgasms, and they would likely be having more sex. Hopefully, the penetrative kind. Dean really didn’t care who did what the first time. He was more than willing to slide inside of Castiel and take him apart one thrust at a time and he was also looking forward to having Castiel inside him, stretching him open and filling him up completely. Dean wanted it all.   
He spent the day irritating Eileen before she had to be on campus, then playing with Ben while Sam was in court. They made a rather impressive Lego castle, then proceeded to make little men out of PlayDoh to put inside it. By the time their creation was finished, Sam was opening the front door and pushing out his frustration through a loud sigh.

“Rough day, hunny bun?” Dean teased.

“Freakin’ ass-” Sam’s eyes landed on his son and pulled his grimace into a smile. “Ben’s starting to read lips pretty well now.”

Sam signed as he spoke aloud.

“Crap,” Dean said without thinking, then shook his head. “Well, no, not really. That’s good for him, right?”

“It’ll make things easier on him at least.”

Dean nodded and pointed out his and Ben’s activity for the day.

“What do you think?” Dean signed as he spoke. “Ben and I’ve been working on it for hours now.”

_Wow! That’s so cool, buddy. Can I play?_

Ben lit up at his father’s request and nodded enthusiastically.

_Look! Uncle Dean put in a real moat and the drawbridge works for real!_

Sam beamed at his son, then sent his smile over to Dean.

“Thanks, Dean. You were a life saver today.”

“Of course, anytime.” Dean stood up and checked his phone for the time. “I better get going though, I’ve got din- uh, I’ve got plans tonight and I need to run to the store first.”

“Plans? Another date with Lisa?”

Dean just smiled as he headed for the front door, waving bye to Ben.

“A gentleman doesn’t kiss and tell.”

 

***

Dean arrived at Castiel’s house five minutes early. He took that time to gather his nerves and all the butterflies that decided to take up permanent residence in this stomach, and settle them into something much more manageable. After parking in a space across the street from Castiel’s townhouse, Dean sat in the front seat of his Baby and took several slow and steadying breaths before getting out of the car.

He had spent the last hour fretting over their late night activities for the evening, and whether or not things would go well. It was obvious they were sexually compatible, but things don’t always smoothly the first time people have sex and Dean was terrified that the first time he really slept with Castiel would be filled with awkward pauses and embarrassing moments. Dean wanted it to be perfect, which added a bucket load of pressure and stress that the firefighter knew he really shouldn’t be feeling. 

Dean tried to push all his insecurities away and just remember that he was having dinner with his best friend, a man Dean really cared about and wanted to spend time with. Everything else he would take as it came.

Taking one final calming breath, Dean got out of his car and pulled open the trunk to get the ingredients for their dinner that night. He walked as confidently as he could pretend he was, across the street and up the stairs to Castiel’s front door. The stairs were red brick and steep, and with his hands full Dean couldn’t use the railing to steady himself. Not wanting to ruin their evening by breaking his legs again, Dean took the stairs one at a time. He felt ridiculous and really hoped Castiel wasn’t watching from a window. Dean was too chicken shit to look up and find out for himself. 

When he made it to the front door, Dean rang the doorbell and waited, taking another drag of air that he hoped would relax him completely. Castiel was at the door a second later, pulling it open with the kind of smile that Dean hadn’t gotten used to being directed at him. Very close to pure happiness. There was still something in his eyes that Dean could tell would come up eventually, something that wasn’t allowing Castiel to completely let go of whatever it was that had held him back before, but it wasn’t as strong as it once was.

At the beginning, Castiel refused to smile at all, making Dean work hard for even a glimmer of anything besides a blank expression. Then, when Dean finally earned a grin, the doctor would hide them away. He'd cough over his laugh or place his hand or coffee cup by his lips, guarding his smile from Dean’s eyes. It was something Dean had gotten used to, but hated nonetheless. Of course, Dean eventually got Castiel to smile for real, and the doctor allow Dean to see it. Dean thought maybe it was the surprise of him bringing Castiel that first cup of coffee, that finally pushed Castiel to lower his walls long enough to show how he really felt. 

After that, the smiles became more and more frequent and less and less guarded. Now, with Castiel smiling so openly and warmly back at him, Dean was struck by how far they had come in just a few months and how grateful he was the chance to see more smiles like that one.

“Dean, hi.” Castiel said, holding open the door and gesturing for Dean to enter. “Please come inside, I just opened a bottle of wine.”

Perfect, alcohol. 

That would definitely help Dean relax a bit.

“Sounds great,” Dean replied back casually, returning Castiel’s smile and moving past him and into the house. He was immediately greeted by a wide staircase of several stairs. When he reached the top, Dean took in the feeling of being in a place so personal to Castiel.

It hadn’t escaped Dean’s notice that Castiel had never invited Dean to his house in all the times they got together to have dinner and watch movies and television shows. Dean figured he would eventually, when the doctor felt comfortable. Dean thought it was safe to say that Castiel was feeling a lot more comfortable around him lately.

Right on cue, Castiel strode up behind Dean and placed his hand on Dean’s bicep. It was more of a caress than a touch.

“Well? Is it what you expected?”

Dean let out a short laugh and looked around the room he had walked into. The townhome had wall to wall hardwood floors and a fairly open floor plan. Upon leaving the side staircase, there was another, more narrow staircase against the left wall that presumably led upstairs. Straight ahead, there was a hallway that led all the way back to the kitchen. To Dean’s right, there was a living room that you had to step down to get to. It was decorated simply, in blues and grays, and boasted a widescreen television and very comfortable looking couch. There were three bookcases that were nearly as tall as the ceiling and were neatly stacked with all different kinds of books. Novels, textbooks, magazines, Castiel seemed to have a bit of everything and everything had its place. A small dining room was directly behind and a step above the living room. An elegant looking wooden table sat in the middle of the small room, with expensive place settings at all chairs. There was an opening in the wall that separated the dining room and the kitchen, where a plant and a few picture frames sat. Dean couldn’t really see the kitchen, but he did see a deep red color on the back wall of it. 

Dean smiled.

“I like it,” He finally said, turning to Castiel. “Your place is nice.”

“Thank you,” Castiel responded back. Dean was still carrying bags of groceries in his hands, but his thoughts were quickly deterred from his numbing fingers to Castiel’s pleased expression. “It's different from yours.”

“Not really,” Dean said with a smile. “You’ve got more books.”

Castiel laughed. 

“Yes. I do have more books.” He raised a finger, ready to make a point. “However, none of them are currently in my oven.”

“Good to hear,” Dean said cheerily. He adjusted the bags in his hands. “Should I put these-”

“Oh! I’m sorry, I was- Here, let me get those,” Castiel rushed to grab the bags from Dean’s hand. 

“S’Alright,” Dean laughed. There was a little bit of the same tension from the other day floating between them, tension filled with, _I really want to kiss you_ ’s and _I don’t want to rush things_ ’. Dean could feel it wrapping around them, pulling them closer together and demanding to be noticed. However, Dean had become quite the master at ignoring things that refused to be ignored, so he did his best to push through the tension and take a few weary steps towards the kitchen. “Hungry?”

“Starved,” Castiel nodded and let out something that sounded a lot like a sigh of relief. He led Dean down the hallway, past the living and dining room, past a small door that looked like a coat closet, and into the kitchen. 

The bright red color that covered the back wall looked brilliant with the black appliances throughout the small kitchen and the soft brown of the cabinets. There were small appliances decorating the posh looking countertops and an expensive looking espresso machine in the corner, but Dean’s eyes stayed on the pieces of paper littering the large refrigerator. 

He placed the bags of ingredients for their dinner on the counter and walked over to the fridge. There, held up by four magnets in the shape of syringes, were four, very colorful drawings. They were obviously done by a child, which made Dean think it was Claire who had drawn the pictures for Castiel, but then he saw the signature at the bottom and his heart felt like it might melt and break at the same time.

_Thank you for being my friend Dr. Novak! Love, Hael_

The oven hadn’t been turned on yet, but the room suddenly felt a lot warmer to Dean. 

The picture was of a little girl holding hands with a handsome looking doctor with bright blue eyes. The girl in the picture was wearing ballerina shoes and a red cape around her neck. Dean could feel Castiel next to him as he took in the other pictures, all of them staring the ballerina and her doctor. In one they were at the park ( _Maybe one day we could go to the park together. I think you could use some time on the swings Dr. Novak. Love, Hael_ ), in another the doctor was cheering for the ballerina as she danced on stage( _I wish you could have seen me dance. I was pretty good! Love, Hael_. Dean stopped short as his eyes fell onto the last one, where the ballerina was flying in the sky next to the doctor, who instead of his doctor’s lab coat wore a black suit and cape, and a mask over his eyes. ( _Batman and Super girl to the rescue!!! Love, Hael P.S. You do kind of sound like him._

Dean’s sad smile grew into a wide grin and he nudged Castiel with his shoulder playfully.

“You told her?” Dean accused, letting out a small chuckle as looked over at Castiel. Castiel’s eyes were tight with emotion, but there was a happy smile on the doctor’s face.

“I may have mentioned it.” His eyes were still on the drawings. “She liked to hear stories about my day when she was too tired to tell me some of hers.”

“So you told her some drugged out weirdo tried to hit on you by comparing you to batman?” 

Castiel laughed and finally took his eyes off the drawing to look at Dean.

“No. I told her a patient said I sounded like Batman. I left out the more...sordid details.”

“Sordid? Is that, like, polite for pervy?” Dean joked, stepping a little closer into the doctor’s space.

“You were not _pervy_.” Castiel’s lips turned up at the word, as if using it caused him some sort of physical distress. 

“I so was,” Dean argued with another laugh. “Charlie told me some of what I said. I’m surprised you didn’t get someone else to take over my case for you. Especially considering how much you hated me at first.”

“I didn’t hate you!” Castiel shot back quickly. “I never-” The doctor cut himself off and then turned to face Dean completely, his voice incredulous, but soft. “Did you honestly think I _hated_ you?”

“Maybe not hate,” Dean responded slowly. “But definitely dislike. You were out of my room in under three minutes anytime you didn’t have to examine me _and_ it was like pulling teeth to get you to smile.”

Castiel balked.

“That wasn’t because I disliked you Dean!” The doctor huffed and rolled his eyes like Dean was missing something incredibly obvious. “I was because I _did_ like you. A lot.”

“Wait.” Dean’s eyes narrowed. “What?”

“You are so obtuse.” Castiel smiled fondly up at Dean, making it very hard for the firefighter to comment on the insult. Castiel then reached up, placed his hand behind Dean’s neck and pulled him down into a kiss. Dean responded eagerly, sliding his hands up Castiel’s arms and reveling in his luck in being allowed to be so close to him. 

Just a few months ago Dean was like a starving dog begging for table scraps when it came to Castiel. He’d spend days dissecting the doctor’s blinking patterns or his habit of biting his lower lip when he was thinking and feel like he won the lottery whenever Castiel would refrain from frowning. Now, Dean was standing Castiel’s kitchen and he was being _thoroughly_ kissed by him. 

So much had changed.

Dean felt a bubble of laughter catch in his throat and he pulled away slightly. Castiel looked up at him and returned the smile Dean wore, but looked a little confused as to why they had stopped kissing.

“What?” Castiel asked.

“I can’t believe that was us,” Dean said, still laughing. “I never would have thought...You really liked me the whole time?”

“Just about,” Castiel nodded and wrapped his arms around Dean’s waist. “You’re rather charming.”

Dean’s eyes widened and nodded enthusiastically.

“I know! At least, I thought I knew until my hot doctor decided to rebuke all my carefully crafted advances.”

“Carefully crafted?” Castiel retorted. “What part of, _‘Your lips look nice. I want to taste them with my tongue’_ , is carefully crafted?”

Dean groaned and put his head down on Castiel’s shoulder, hiding the blush that rose to his cheeks.

“Tell me I didn’t really say that.”

“Sorry,” Castiel laughed and rubbed Dean’s back. “There was also a rather sweet moment where you compared me to a fallen angel and-”

“Stop.” Dean said, raising his head and placing his index finger over Castiel’s lips. “Can we just pretend that none of that ever happened and I just charmed you with my wit and carefree smile?”

“But there are so many other things you-”

“No!”

“-said. For example, you told me how my eyes-”

Dean pulled away and put his fingers in his ears.

“I’m not listening!”

“-were like oceans in the south pacific of Antarctica-”

“I can’t hear you!” Dean went over to the bags on the counter and started unpacking them.

“-whatever that meant, I tried to tell you that didn’t make any sense but you wouldn’t listen. Then you repeatedly stated that you wanted-”

“Preheating the oven now!” Dean shouted over him.

“-to take me out for ice cream after I was finished saving Gotham. I reminded you. yet again, that I was not the Dark Knight, but that didn’t seem to sink in because two minutes later you were asking me-”

“Can you get me a mixing bowl!” Dean yelled, his back to the doctor as Castiel leaned against the refrigerator and reminisced with a smile on his face.

“-how I managed to stop The Joker and save your life all in one day. It was sweet actually, the way you looked up at me and saw a superhero. I especially liked when you-”

Dean groaned and tossed the bag of mozzarella cheese he had just pulled out of the bag onto the counter. He turned abruptly and charged at Castiel, placing his hands on either side of his face and crushing their mouths together in a hard kiss. It softened almost immediately, Dean’s tongue parting Castiel lips with a gentle swipe that had the doctor making an agreeable noise in the back of his throat. Castiel opened his mouth and tilted his head so their lips were slotted together in just right way, stroking Dean’s tongue with his own and gripping his hips tightly. 

“Is this the only way to get you to shut up?” Dean said breathlessly when he pulled away.

“If I say yes, will you do it again?” Castiel replied, eyes dark and lustful.

Dean leaned back in and kissed the doctor again, this time pressing his body into Castiel’s and holding him in place against the refrigerator. The kiss turned hot and messy very quickly, both men pushing and pulling at each other in such a way that made it very clear as to what their intentions were. There was a buzzing in Dean’s pocket, an incoming phone call, but he ignored it.

“Couch.” Castiel said roughly, pushing Dean back and kissing up his neck and behind his ear as his hands groped down the firefighter’s body. Dean didn’t hesitate to obey. He allowed himself to be backed out of the kitchen and manhandled through the dining room. Their lips came back together as they took the step down into the living room, Castiel’s mouth hot and sweet as it devoured Dean’s.

It was incredible, feeling Castiel pushing against him, eager to be with Dean again, desperate for more of something only Dean could give him. It was a punch in the face to a lot of Dean’s insecurities too, because they were perfect like this. They moved effortlessly together, their kisses synchronized in a way that made Dean wonder if they were made to for this.

Dean pulled Castiel’s hips against his as they stumbled around the couch. Their erections pressed together deliciously and both men groaned into another wet kiss. As Castiel pushed Dean down onto the couch and climbed on top of him, Dean’s phone buzzed again in his pocket. 

“Mother fucker,” Dean murmured between kisses, Castiel’s body covering his in a way that made Dean’s heart pound relentlessly against his chest and his blood sing under his skin. Castiel worked his way down from Dean’s mouth, pressing kisses and little bites as he rolled his hips into Dean’s and gave them both the friction their body was begging for. 

When the buzzing didn’t stop a few moments later, Dean was about to just pull the wretched device out of his pocket and chuck it across the room, but before he could, Castiel pulled back slightly and looked up at him. He was half way down Dean’s body, his lips inches from Dean’s exposed stomach, where Castiel was just tracing Dean’s hip bone with his tongue.

“Should you get that?” Castiel asked hoarsely. His lips went back to Dean’s skin as soon as the question was out.

Dean groaned, but lifted his hips a little to reach into his pocket and pull out his phone anyway. Castiel responded by the shift in Dean’s position, by nuzzling his nose against the waistline of Dean’s jeans, sending tingles of anticipation through the firefighter’s body.

Sight blurry with lust and barely able to see anything that wasn’t Castiel working his fly open, Dean squinted at his phone. 

“Charlie.” Dean said thoughtfully. “I wonder- She’s called three times, I should probably...”

“Mhmm,” Castiel responded, kissing and licking around the newly exposed rail of hair that led down into Dean’s boxers. “Probably.”

Dean let out a very aggravated sigh and pressed the accept button on the screen of his phone.

“This better be good.”

“Dean? Oh thank god.” Charlie sounded frightfully anxious and Dean’s entire body tensed.

“What is it?” Dean responded quickly, sitting up on the couch. Castiel pulled back immediately, concern covering his features. “What’s wrong?”

“There was a fire in my apartment building. The lady next to me- Can you go? We’re on our way back but we won’t be there for another five hours and I-”

“Yeah, yeah, of course.” Dean said, waving Castiel’s worried expression away. “I’m on my way.”

“Thank you so much, Dean.” Charlie responded in a rush. “My landlord said there was minimal damage to my place but I hate the idea of people in my apartment without me there and-”

“No, it’s totally fine,” Dean soothed, pulling his legs out from under Castiel and standing up. He rebuttoned his jeans with one hand. “Say no more, I’ll make sure everything is okay.”

“Oh God, Dean, you’re a life saver,” Charlie gushed. “Thank you so _so_ much.”

“No problem, Charlie. I’m headed there now.” Dean met Castiel’s gaze, who was still sitting on the couch. The doctor made an inquisitive expression and Dean put his finger up to signal him that Dean would tell Castiel what was happening in a second.

“Okay, great.” Charlie responded.

“Bye Charlie.”

“Oh! Dean?”

“Yeah?”

“Could you also do me a favor and hide the plant labeled ‘Sage’?


	30. Chapter 30

**Notes for the Chapter:**

> ThAnk you for being patient lovelies! This chapter kicked my ass in more ways than one. I literally deleted it and rewrote it because I just wasn't feeling it and nothing was coming out right. So, I took my time and came up with this monster. I hope you enjoy it! A huge shout out to my amazing beta who continues to be awesome and reads the chapters at lightening speed so I can get them to you guys faster.
> 
> As always, please let me know what you think!

Castiel joined Dean when he headed over to Charlie’s apartment. They deposited all the fixings for their almost dinner into the refrigerator and quickly drove to the other side of town. Charlie lived fairly close to Dean, which meant that the first responders to the apartment building fire, was Dean’s own unit.

He recognized the trucks as he pulled into the parking lot and parked his car.

“You can wait here if you want,” Dean said, turning to Castiel. “I just need to-”

Castiel shook his head and began opening his door.

“No, I’d like to come. I can help you pack up the things Charlie will need for the next few weeks while her apartment is getting repaired.”

“Okay,” Dean replied. He opened his car door and joined Castiel in walking towards Charlie’s building. “I _knew_ that wasn’t sage.” 

Castiel laughed.

“Will you have trouble getting into her apartment before her landlord can find it?” Castiel asked.

“Nah, the whole building has to be cleared before residents are allowed back inside. I doubt they’ve gotten that far yet.” Dean could still smell the smoke and ash in the air and knew the fire hadn’t been out too terribly long.

He steered them around three fire trucks that blocked the entrance. People stood around in the street or sat in their cars. Dean walked through the crowd confidently. He could feel Castiel’s shoulder bump into his occasionally which reminded him of the way they left things in Castiel’s apartment before... It was shame they were interrupted, Dean’s body was still pulsing with anticipation, Castiel’s body over his and his mouth working its way down Dean’s body. 

He was happy he could help Charlie though; he was actually the perfect person for the job. This fact became evident when he immediately recognized Ash leaning against the inner hallway of the apartment building. He had his helmet and outer coat off and was speaking into a walkie-talkie. When he spotted Dean, his eyes lit up and waved him forward. There were a couple grumbles from behind Dean; some people were irritated that Dean was allowed past the invisible barrier the firefighters had put in place. Dean ignored them.

“Winchester! What are you doing here?” Ash asked, smiling despite the layer of sweat and ash on his face.

“A friend of mine lives here,” Dean replied, slapping Ash on the shoulder. “She’s out of town and asked me to come and check up on things. Good thing I did too, are you aware that the building next door is on fire too?”

Ash’s eyebrows rose so fast Dean thought he might die from laughter.

“Just kidding man,” Dean said quickly. “You’re so damn gullible.”

“Oh, fuck you man!” Ash cried, but then laughed and punched Dean on the arm. His eyes went from Dean to Castiel, then back again. 

That was Dean’s cue to make the introduction. He gestured towards Castiel and then shifted awkwardly.

“Ash, this is my-this is Castiel.” Dean felt his face grow hot over his stumbling words. “Cas, this is my friend Ash. We’re in the same unit.”

Castiel pulled his lips into a strained smile and shook the hand Ash offered him.

“Nice to meet you Ash,” Castiel greeted politely.

“You too, _Castiel_ ,” Ash said the doctor’s name like he didn’t know what to do with it. His smile curved up mischievously as he looked between the two men. 

“Well, uh, you think I could get into 7B? My friend wants me to take care of some stuff before her landlord gets in there.”

“Yeah,” Ash answered. “It was just cleared a few minutes ago. Head on up. Donna is up there with Kevin.”

“Okay, thanks buddy.”

Ash pulled the walkie-talkie closer to his lips and spoke into it.

“Heads up. Winchester plus one are on their way up.”

Dean rolled his eyes as he led Castiel past Ash and up the stairs. He could hear Donna’s voice through the receiver as he ascended the first flight.

“ _Dean’s here? Why is Dean here? Is he back already? Plus one? Is it Sam? I didn’t think he-_ ”

“Oh pipe down woman! He will be right there!” 

Dean laughed at Ash and Donna’s exchange and glanced over to Castiel, who was staring at him out of the side of his eye and grinning.

“What?”

“I’m happy for the opportunity to meet some of your work friends.”

“Oh,” Dean said dumbly. “Well, I guess it’s only fair. I’ve met a bunch of yours.”

Castiel didn’t reply, he walked quietly beside Dean up the stairs. When they reached the top, Dean spotted Donna in the hallway outside of one of the apartments.

“Dean!” Donna enthused. Dean and Castiel walked down the hall towards the excited blonde. “Man, you missed a hell of a pile up yesterday. Five cars crunched and one on fire. Kevin here, nearly got his head torn off by some asshat on a motorcycle trying to get around the wreckage. I almost lost a leg-”

“Donna!” Dean interrupted. He put on his biggest, most charming smile. He definitely didn’t want Donna to continue her rant. Castiel didn’t need any more ammunition to fear Dean’s job. “This here is Castiel. Cas, this is Donna. We’re going to pop inside that apartment and grab some stuff. Cool?”

“Oh, yeah sure,” Donna grinned and stepped forward to shake Castiel’s hand. “Hey there Castiel. Good to meet you! You’re Dean’s doctor, right?”

Castiel and Dean shared a private smile, but the doctor nodded. 

“I was, for a time,” Castiel answered. “Dean actually decided to start seeing my practice partner, so I’m not his doctor anymore.”

Donna’s eyebrows furrowed together, obviously confused. 

“Well, uh, ooookay.” She looked between the men a couple times. “So you two buddies now? That’s cool. I almost made friends with my lady doctor once. I saw her at a movie and sat next to her. We shared some popcorn. I tried to see if she wanted to do it again, but the stirrups broke and my thighs crushed her face while she was down there and-”

“Donna!” Dean tried his hardest to hold in his laughter. “Remember when we talked about giving too much information?”

“Oh, right.” Donna blushed and gave Castiel an embarrassed look. “Sorry. I have a habit of rambling on sometimes. So, what are you two up to tonight?”

“Cas and I are uh, well- we’re-” Dean began to explain.

“Dean!” Kevin interrupted, entering the hallway. “What are you doing here?”

Dean rolled his eyes at having to explain himself, yet again.

“Picking up something for a friend,” He gestured between Kevin and Castiel. “Kevin, Castiel. Cas, Kevin.”

“Hey man,” Kevin greeted. “You’re Dean’s doctor, right?”

“Okay,” Dean said quickly grabbing Castiel hand and pulling him forward. “We’re going to over there now. Be back in a few.”

Castiel followed Dean down the hall, leaving a bewildered Donna and Kevin in the hallway to stare after them. They entered Charlie’s apartment and Dean quickly inspected the damage to Charlie’s kitchen and assessed that it would only take a couple weeks to repair what had been destroyed. The rest of the apartment seemed unaffected. 

Dean began busying himself with collecting a few of the items Charlie asked him to pack for her. He used a bag he found in Charlie’s hall closet and distractedly placed the pot plant inside first. His mind was on the interaction he and Castiel had just had in the hallways with Kevin and Donna, and he wasn’t sure how he felt about it.

However brief, there was a moment where Dean was compelled to keep Donna quiet about dangers of his job, which he guess would be a running theme anytime Castiel hung around his friends. Then, there was the awkwardness of not knowing how to introduce Castiel or how to explain why they were together. He didn’t want to come out and say that they were actually together, not yet at least, since Sam didn’t know. Dean wanted to be sure he was the one to tell his brother about his relationship upgrade.

He moved into the bedroom while Castiel stayed in the living room and packed a few books on Charlie’s list. 

“So, five-car pile ups and near decapitations? That sounds extremely safe.”

Even thought Dean couldn’t see Castiel, he could hear the frown in his voice.

Dean laughed and hoped it would diffuse some of the tension that was suddenly very thick in Charlie’s apartment.

“Donna is dramatic.” Dean said with another laugh. “I’m sure nobody actually came close to losing their head, aside from her gynecologist.”

Castiel laughed from behind him, but quickly stifled it when Dean returned from the bedroom with a bag full of clothes. Dean placed the bag on the floor in the living room and caught Castiel’s eye.

“I really don’t like your job.” Castiel said carefully. 

“I know,” Dean replied, pulling a calculated smile to his lips. “I have another two months before I go back full time though. Plenty of time for you to try and talk me out of it.”

“Is that possible?” Castiel’s eyes widened with hope.

“Not even remotely,” Dean replied smoothly. “But you can try. You never know what could convince me.”

His salacious tone brought a smirk to Castiel’s lips.

“I can be very convincing, you know,” The doctor said slyly.

“Well, I guess we’ll just have to see,” Dean replied with a shrug. His heart was beating faster as he stepped closer to the doctor.

“I guess we will,” Castiel said back.

They stared at each other a long moment. So much was being left unsaid, but the sexual tension snapped sharply between them. Just as they were reaching for each other a call from the hallway pulled them out of their nearly heated moment.

“You about done in there? Landlord wants in!” 

“Yeah, just hold on.” Dean called back with irritation. Castiel smiled sweetly at him, then walked over to where the bag sat on the floor. He added the items they had collected in the living room, then picked it up, waving Dean away when the firefighter tried to take it from him. 

“I’m not invalid, you know.” Dean complained when they were out in the hallway again. “My arms and legs are working just-”

“I know that,” Castiel defended. “No need to add more strain., though.”

Dean furrowed his brow but said nothing in response.

“You get what you needed?” Kevin asked, eyes moving between them.

“Yep,” Dean answered. “We’ll be out of your hair now.” He turned to Castiel. “Want to grab some dinner? The lasagna will take too long now and I’m starving.”

Castiel nodded.

“Sounds good to me.”

“So, you two-” Kevin started, gesturing between Dean and Castiel.

“We’re headed out now,” Dean quickly interrupted. “Thanks for breaking the rules for me.”

“Sure, sure.” Kevin replied, “No problem. See you tomorrow?”

“Yeah, I promised Bobby I’d help him take care of a few things. I’ll be in.” 

“It was nice to meet you,” Castiel said as Dean led him back towards the stairs.

“You too!” Donna and Kevin replied simultaneously, looking after both of them curiously.

Dean practically pushed Castiel down the stairs and back to his car before they could be stopped again.

“Are you embarrassed of me Dean Winchester?” Castiel finally said when they were back in the car.

Dean laughed.

“Absolutely,” He teased. “Also, I don’t want Sam to get tipped off about us quite yet. I’ve got plans for my little brother.”

“Oh yes,” Castiel nodded with an affectionate smile on his lips. “The prank. What exactly does it involve?”

“How about I tell you that over dinner?” Dean replied. “How does Thai food sound?”

 

****

Dean and Castiel ate at a small restaurant just a few blocks from Castiel townhouse. It was owned by a kind family who Castiel had formed some kind of relationship with over the last couple years. They greeted him with warm smiles and beckoning hands, showing Dean and Castiel to a table next to the window. It was intimate, a candle and soft tablecloth covering their table for two. They ate leisurely, sharing their dinners and lingering over a couple glasses of wine. By the end of their meal, their ankles were hooked together and Dean trailed his fingers lightly over Castiel’s hand, while the doctor told him about his time in medical school.

When they finally paid the bill and left, Dean and Castiel walked back to Dean’s car with their hands clasped together, only releasing each other long enough to get into the car. Castiel slid over in the front seat so that he was right next to him and placed his hand on Dean’s thigh as he pulled out of the restaurant’s parking lot. 

Castiel’s thumb rubbed back and forth over Dean’s inner thigh and Dean tried very hard not to crash his car. He could feel his heart pounding in his chest, his body warming instantly at the sensual contact, but Castiel looked unaffected, his eyes on the road even as his hand traveled further up Dean’s thigh. 

The doctor’s voice didn’t give anything away either.

“Do you want to watch an episode of Sherlock when we get back?” His eyes were still on the road, his hand still wandering north.

“Um, yeah.” Dean said, his breath coming faster than it had moments before. “That’s- that’s a good idea.”

“Great. I have a six pack of that I.P.A you were talking about the other day.” Castiel’s hand stopped moving. He kept it still just above the center of Dean’s thigh. It was good, Dean though, because now he could actually remember basic driving laws instead of thinking about how far up his leg Castiel’s hand planned to travel.

“Awesome,” Dean replied easily. “Sounds perfect.”

Castiel didn’t move his hand again until they were parking in front of his house.

They got out of the car and walked up the steps of Castiel’s house, Dean leaning against the door frame as Castiel unlocked and opened his front door. He gestured for Dean to go inside and Dean felt his stomach flip in a combination of nerves and excitement. 

On the one hand, it was just another night in with his best friend. Dinner, good TV, excellent company. Those were things Dean was very much used to by now. However, the feel of Castiel’s hand on the small of his back as they walked up the foyer steps together and headed for the living room, that was a sensation that Dean thought he’d never get used to. 

“The remote is on the table. Why don’t you set up the episode and I’ll get us drinks.” Castiel suggested.

“You got it,” Dean replied, taking a deep breath and rounding the location of his almost blowjob. His pants grew a little tighter just from the memory.

Castiel disappeared into the kitchen and Dean did as requested of him. When the doctor returned, Dean was just selecting the next episode they were to watch and settling into the couch. Castiel handed Dean his beer and then sat next to him, pressing them together from shoulder to thigh. If Castiel wanted to get through the episode without having his cock in Dean’s mouth, he had a funny way of showing it.

Dean pressed play.

 

***

The next half hour was the longest of Dean’s life. 

He couldn’t recount any other time where he felt like his entire body was on fire and he was a firefighter. His stomach was dominated by insistent butterflies. The kind that ebbed and flowed, and then struck so powerfully Dean wondered if he might be sick. The feeling would happen whenever Castiel would reach for his beer and then settle back into Dean’s side, or place his hand absently on Dean’ s knee. Dean was grateful that he had seen this particular episode of Sherlock twice now, because if he hadn’t he wouldn’t have a clue as to what was going on. 

Sherlock and Watson were in front of a fireplace and talking about-

Castiel’s head dropping to his shoulder and the smell of fresh citrus in his hair.

No. The detective duo were discussing the lab at Baskerville and Sherlock was being a bit of a prick, nothing unusual there. But there was a heart above the hearth and Dean always thought that was placed there purposefully, the symbol for love placed directly between Sherlock and John. It was beautiful the way-

Castiel’s hand found it’s favorite spot on Dean’s thigh and began to stroke casually with his fingers, like they had been doing this so much longer than they had.

_No._ It was beautiful the way Sherlock and John related to each other. Oh and look! Sherlock just called John his only friend, Dean thought that was a really defining moment for the detective. Admitting how much he needed-

Castiel’s body. Soft and hard at the same time. Dean’s own hand finding its way to Castiel’s thigh and gripping it slightly. 

_Come on, Dean._ Get it together. It was as if he had never sat next to someone he had wanted before. In reality, Dean didn’t think he _had_ ever wanted someone as badly as he wanted Castiel. It was all he could think about, Castiel was all he could think about. The parts that made him Dean's best friend, the parts that made him the sexiest man Dean had ever laid eyes on, all of it. Dean wanted all of it and he wanted it now.

Sherlock and John were off solving a mystery and Dean really did like the show. He loved the way the two men were with one another, he loved the way-

Fuck it.

Dean abruptly turned his head and caught Castiel’s lips in a surprisingly soft kiss. A sound of shock died in Castiel’s throat, as one of immense approval replaced it. The hand not on Castiel’s thigh reached up and cupped the doctor’s face. Dean kissed him tenderly, but passionately, putting every ounce of his desire behind it. Castiel responded by wrapping his arm around Dean and pulling him forward so that Dean was pushing Castiel back into the couch. His other hand moved to Dean’s hip urging the firefighter closer.

It only took Dean a few seconds before he grew tired of the awkward couch positioning and lifted himself so that he could straddle the doctor’s lap. He pushed his tongue slowly inside Castiel’s mouth, flicking against his top lip as the doctor let out a soft moan of pleasure. They kissed deeply, Dean on top of Castiel and reveling in the feel of the doctor’s hands under his shirt and caressing his back. When the doctor's hands moved south and cupped the curve of Dean’s ass, Dean rolled his hips downward, pressing himself down into Castiel’s growing erection.

He began to kiss down Castiel’s jaw as Castiel’s hips bucked up and met his own, their breath coming faster and stronger as their passion began to erupt. 

“I thought you might make me watch the whole thing,” Castiel let out a gasp as Dean nipped at his throat. “I stopped paying attention after five minutes.”

Dean pulled back and smiled down at Castiel. 

“You let me torture myself for half an hour when you-”

Castiel cut him off by rolling his hips upwards again and grinding Dean’s erection with his own. Dean’ s eyes rolled back in pleasure, a delicious groan escaping as his head dipped back down. The firefighter’s arms bracketed Castiel’s head on the couch, his forehead leaned heavily against the doctor’s. 

“ _God_ that feels- _you_ feel...” Dean mumbled, capturing Castiel’s lips in another kiss. Their bodies melted into each other, their kiss so deep Dean thought he might drown in it. 

Castiel pulled up at the edge of Dean’s shirt, and he raised his arms instantly, more than eager to start undressing. He could still hear Sherlock and Watson in the background, but he no longer had to force himself to listen. Dean could let his entire attention settle on the man below him, the man currently pulling his shirt over his head and kissing along his bare chest.

Dean’s hands fell to the back of Castiel’s neck as the doctor flicked his tongue over Dean’s left nipple, pulling it between his teeth then releasing when Dean let out a sharp gasp of approval. Dean scrambled to get Castiel’s shirt off next, moving off the doctor’s lap and settling between his legs on the floor so that he could kiss Castiel’s chest freely. 

Castiel’s head fell back onto the couch with a moan, his eyes closing as Dean licked and kissed his way towards the doctor’s hip bones. Castiel slid down the couch slightly, but his pants were still in the way, so Dean quickly unbuttoned and unzipped them. He buried himself in Castiel’s hips, his hands on either side of the doctor’s body, grasping firmly as he placed soft kisses along the skin surrounding Castiel’s perfectly sculpted hip bones. 

“Should we-” Castiel panted, as Dean’s tongue began to push down his boxers. “Do you want to-”

Dean didn’t know what the end of that question was, but he knew his answer would be yes. He nodded furiously before Castiel could find his breath and finish the sentence. Their eyes met, Castiel’s looking down at Dean as the firefighter still knelt between his legs. Castiel’s hand reached down and cupped Dean’s cheek, his thumb trailing under his jaw. They just stared at each other for a few moments, the sexual tension and affection overwhelming them both and making it necessary for a pause before they took the next step. 

After a few more seconds, Castiel’s lips curled into a smile and he nodded back. He shifted slightly and Dean moved to the side so that Castiel could stand. When they were both standing, Castiel took Dean’s hand and led him towards the stairs. They didn’t speak as they ascended the narrow staircase, nor did they touch more than their hands that remained clasped together. 

When they were at the top of the stairs, Castiel led Dean down a short hallway that held four different doors. Two were closed, a third belonged to a hall bathroom, and the forth was the one Castiel led them through.

The room was dark. The streetlights outside casted shadows that painted a fairly sparse picture for Dean. It didn’t look like there was much at all in the bedroom. A large bed, a dresser, what looked like a chair and bookcase in the corner. 

Castiel released Dean’s hand and went to the bedside table, where he turned on a lamp that lit half the room in soft yellow light. Illumination did nothing to dissuade Dean’s fear that something about the bedroom was off. He could see no pictures, no decorations of any kind. There were no signs that the room had been lived in aside from the open closet with clothes hung up inside.

“Re-decorating?” Dean asked carefully, trying his hardest not to show his concern.

Castiel’s eyes traveled around the room, as if inspecting it for the first time. When he brought his gaze back to Dean, there was a faint blush to his cheeks.

“I, um- Well, this is the guest bedroom. I haven’t- I don’t sleep in the other one anymore.”

Dean thought about that for a moment. He knew exactly why Castiel didn’t sleep in the other bedroom, because he knew that must have been the bedroom he shared with Inias. It had been two years and yet Castiel still chose not to sleep in the room he shared with his dead lover. Dean wondered if that meant that Castiel didn’t go in there at all, or if it just meant Castiel didn’t sleep there. Either way, Dean knew it wasn’t his place to question how Castiel got through something so terrible. 

“You know, Cas,” Dean started, carefully keeping his place instead of stepping closer to Castiel. “We don’t have to... There’s no rush. If you’re not ready-”

Castiel stepped forward, closing the distance between them and pressing his lips to Dean’s. He pulled back after a second, his hand going to Dean’s bare chest.

“I want this. I want _you_.”

The doctor’s response pushed a smile to Dean’s lips. He felt a familiar flutter in his stomach.

“I’ve always wanted you,” Dean replied, kissing Castiel in a way that led the doctor to step backwards and lead them to the bed. When Dean felt the resistance of the bed against the back of Castiel’s knees, he pushed slightly at Castiel’s shoulders and helped settle him back onto the bed. They positioned themselves so that Castiel was under Dean again, this time with Dean settled between his thighs and their arms wrapped around each other.

It wasn’t long though, before their kisses grew so intense that the clothing they still wore felt like sandpaper against their skin and both men were grappling to tear the other one’s pants off. Dean was successful first, throwing the doctor’s pants to an unknown location while Castiel took off Dean’s jeans and boxers at once. Soon after, Dean found himself being pushed to his back and Castiel’s weight settling over him. 

His bare erection rubbed deliciously against Castiel’s cloth one and Dean rolled his hips up as he palmed Castiel’s ass with enthusiasm. 

“ _Fuck_ Cas. I want- Please-”

“Yes, Dean?” Castiel responded sinfully, rolling his hips down and up and pulling guttural moan from the man beneath him. He leaned down and kissed and sucked his way up Dean’s jaw and to his ear, whispering, “What do you want?”

“Please, can you-” Dean tried, but then Castiel was ripping his own boxers down and pressing his naked cock back down against Dean’s. Both men groaned in satisfaction and continued to grind together. “Cas....Fucking fuck.”

Dean couldn’t think straight, his mind was nothing but Castiel’s naked body over his, pressing him into the mattress, kissing him senseless and thrusting in a way that made Dean desperate for more.

“Tell me what you want, Dean.” Castiel groaned as he whispered again, obviously just as affected as Dean was.

“Fuck me,” Dean gasped. Castiel had taken them both in hand and given them each a firm stroke. Upon Dean’s request, Castiel practically growled as he swiftly reached for the drawer in his bedside table and took out what they needed. He was at Dean’s lips again a second later, kissing him passionately. Not a breath later, Castiel’s lips were gone and the doctor’s body shifted back and down so that his breath was now on the underside of Dean’s cock. He licked a long stripe up, then sucked the head of Dean’s cock into his mouth. 

Dean heard the click of a bottle opening, but the sound didn’t register because he was being surrounded by a wet heat that sent tingles of pleasure spiking through his entire body. When Castiel dipped down and took more of Dean’s cock into his mouth, Dean’s hand flew to the back of Castiel’s head as his own head arched back with a groan. His fingers grabbed gently at Castiel’s hair, holding on but not pushing down. The doctor continued to suck him, expertly flicking his tongue in ways that made Dean see stars. He feared he wouldn’t last much longer, and that fear was only increased when he felt Castiel’s slick finger against his entrance. 

Castiel rubbed along his hole for a few seconds, before pressing gently inside, just up to the first knuckle. Dean let out a small gasp as his body eagerly accepted more of the doctor’s finger and he began to moan when Castiel’s first finger was all the way inside. With the doctor’s mouth still around his cock and his finger pressed up into his ass, Dean was positive the show was about to be over. 

“Cas, I can’t- I’m gunna-” Dean panted and tried to hold on.

Castiel pulled his mouth off of Dean. He shifted so that he could place kisses along the firefighter’s stomach instead. With the threat of immediate orgasm dampened, Dean relaxed when he felt Castiel’s second finger begin to work its way inside of him. It had been awhile since Dean had had anything other than his own index finger inside of himself, and even longer since he had allowed someone to fuck him, but Dean’s body opened beautifully for Castiel. It wasn’t long before two fingers were replaced with three, and Dean was groaning out Castiel’s name as the doctor fucked him with his fingers. Castiel licked and sucked around Dean’s thighs as he worked the firefighter open for him, and Dean keened as Castiel’s fingers brushed against the spot that sent his entire body flying with pleasure.

“I’m ready, Cas- just- _come on_.” Dean urged, practically fucking himself down on Castiel’s fingers. Dean wanted more than those fingers, he wanted Castiel thick cock stretching him open and filling him up in a way he hadn’t been filled before. 

Castiel didn’t say anything, he just gave a jerky nod and then Dean heard the tear of a condom wrapper and looked down to find Castiel settling between his thighs again. He placed a pillow under Dean’s pelvis and stroked his hands up and down Dean’s thighs as he looked back up at the firefighter. He didn’t need to ask if Dean was sure, because Dean was grabbing at Castiel’s shoulders and pulling him down on top of him. Their lips met in a bruising kiss as Castiel reached between them and aligned himself with Dean’s entrance. 

With the thrust of his tongue into Dean’s mouth, Castiel pushed the tip of his cock into Dean. Dean’s head flew back, the stretch as perfect as it was overwhelming. Castiel’s lips were at Dean’s jaw, kissing softly as he slowly pushed in further. Dean’s legs were up and wrapped around Castiel’s waist, the doctor’s hips eventually flush against Dean’s. Castiel stayed there a moment, kissing up and down Dean’s jaw and neck until Dean found his lips and kissed him properly. 

Castiel was all the way inside, filling Dean up completely and Dean could do nothing but moan in pleasure as Castiel pulled back slightly, then pushed in again. He repeated the motion a few times, until Dean was arching his back in anticipation of each thrust, fucking himself up onto Castiel’s cock. Castiel rolled his hips, pushing and thrusting as deeply as possible and Dean cried out as Castiel’s cock found the same spot his fingers had moments before.

“ _Fuck yes_!” Dean gasped, gripping Castiel’s arm and back as the doctor fucked him slow and deep. “Cas, _ohmygodyes_...”

Castiel answered Dean’s barely coherent moans of ecstasy with groans of his own, whispering to Dean how fucking amazing he felt and how he had been thinking about fucking Dean for so long. Castiel reached between them after a few more minutes of sensual thrusting and wrapped his hand around Dean’s cock. His hand, still slippery from lube, slid perfectly over Dean’s shaft and had the firefighter cursing wildly. Dean was sure having Castiel inside him while the doctor stroked his cock, was the definition of perfection. Nothing could possibly beat-

“You feel so good…I can’t wait to feel you inside me,” Castiel moaned, his hand working faster over Dean’s cock as his hips began to thrust faster. “You have no idea- _Dean_...” 

Castiel groaned and took Dean’s lips in a hot kiss that left both men breathless. Their tongues slid together just as their bodies did, both men coming closer and closer to the edge. The hand not wrapped around Dean’s cock was braced on the bed next to Dean’s face and Dean turned his head to kiss the doctor’s wrist. Castiel’s thrusts picked up again, this time his cock sticking to the spot that made Dean blind with pleasure. Dean responded by gripping Castiel’s ass and urging him to fuck him faster, _harder_.

“Cas, I’m gunna- fuck yes, fuck yes, Cas, _Cas_ -”

He could feel the end coming, his pleasure building and building and culminating in white hot ecstasy that seemed to explode at just the right moment. It felt like intoxication in a way, knowing that this was the most intensely erotic moment of Dean’s life. Castiel was still thrusting into him, his movement growing more and more erratic, but Dean was flying high, coming with such force his orgasm felt like it was ripping through him. Their foreheads were pressed together in an intimate embrace and Castiel’s hips began to stutter against him. Then, seconds later, the doctor was coming too, shouting Dean’s name and cursing through the immense pleasure that he found inside of Dean. 

Dean didn’t know how he did it, since the paralyzing euphoria that came with his own orgasm was still in full affect, but he managed to grip Castiel tighter with his thighs, and encouraged the doctor to fuck him through his orgasm. 

When Castiel’s body finally grew still and nearly collapsed against Dean’s the only sounds in the room were those of their own heartbeats and breathlessness. Castiel’s mouth was against Dean’s neck, his breath hot against he firefighter’s skin. When the doctor finally had the strength to pick up his head and look down at Dean, he did so with a look in his eye that Dean was sure he could find described in a book of love poems somewhere.

The look set off another round of butterflies.

They stared at each other for a long moment, Castiel still deep inside Dean and their bodies still wrapped around each other. There was so much between them, so much that was just expressed, but neither said a word. It wasn’t necessary in that moment. They had said all they needed to with their bodies and the quiet moment they were currently sharing. 

And when Castiel leaned down and kissed him again, Dean was positive that no words could ever compare to the feeling of Castiel’s lips pressed against his own.


	31. Chapter 31

Dean awoke to a warm body wrapping tightly around him from behind. The sun was pouring early morning light through the windows of Castiel’s bedroom, but it was soft and warm, not at all blinding as Dean opened his eyes.

“Good Morning,” Castiel said groggily. 

“Not for another few hours,” Dean grumbled. “Then it’ll be good.”

“Not a morning person are you?” Castiel chuckled into Dean’s neck. Dean turned over and put a dramatic scowl on his face. Then, after a second, he pushed it up into a smile.

“Actually, I think you’ll find I’m in a pretty good mood on the mornings I wake up naked in bed with you.”

Castiel laughed again and pulled Dean close. Their noses brushed as they brought their mouths together in a chaste morning kiss.

Dean had intended on getting out of bed and brushing his teeth with his finger so that he could get rid of his morning breath, but Castiel pulled him closer and brought their hips together, and all thoughts of leaving the bed vanished. They were both sporting rather impressive morning erections, and Dean’s hips rolled involuntarily into Castiel’s. 

“Don’t you have a shift this morning?” Dean asked, as Castiel rolled on top of him and began to kiss him earnestly.

“Mhmm, and you told Bobby you’d come in,” Castiel answered. He began kissing his way down Dean’s bare chest. “We really shouldn’t be late.”

Dean groaned and ran his hands through Castiel’s hair.

“No, we shouldn’t.”

Dean didn’t protest when Castiel didn’t stop his downward travels. He didn’t say anything but, _ohgodyes_ when Castiel sucked him off. Castiel didn’t stop Dean from reciprocating either. In fact, Castiel was rather enthusiastic about Dean swallowing him down as Dean pushed a finger inside of him. 

And they were very late.

 

***

Saturday afternoon, Dean drove to Castiel’s house to pick him up before heading over to Sam’s house. They had made plans to go out to dinner and spend the night at Dean’s, and then Dean would drive Castiel home on Sunday before his shift at the hospital. It was all very domestic and Dean was incredibly giddy about it.

On the way to Sam’s house, Dean ran over the plan to prank Sam and Jimmy again. Castiel wasn’t exactly sold on the idea, but was willing to try for Dean’s benefit. Dean was positive it would drive his brother crazy, which was all he really wanted. 

“So, I just...” Castiel repeated slowly, trying to wrap his head around Dean’s idea. “Act normally?”

“Yep.” Dean parked his car in Sam’s driveway. Jimmy’s car was already parked out front.

“But under no circumstances do I reveal that we are actually together now.”

“Nope.”

“But-” Castiel turned to face him, but Dean cut him off.

“Cas, trust me. If you and I go around acting like we do lately, but continue to say that we are only friends, it will drive my brother insane. He won’t be able to figure out if I’m fucking with him or if we are really just that clueless.”

“So...flirting?”

“As you normally would. In fact, I say we flirt like crazy.” Dean checked his hair in the mirror.

“I don’t flirt,” Castiel said sternly.

“Liar.” Dean smirked. “You’re shameless.”

Castiel smiled, then furrowed his brow.

“Kissing?”

Dean shook his head.

“Nah, that one we will have to put a hold on until we tell them the truth. I don’t think I can talk my way out of it if he catches us making out.”

“I think this has the potential to annoy Jimmy greatly.” Castiel said, pursing his lips. “Let’s do it.”

“Awesome,” Dean replied, hurriedly making his way out of the car. They walked up to the front door together, elbows brushing. Dean pressed the button for the light illuminator on the inside and then knocked once, before opening the door.

“Hey, hey!” Dean greeted as he entered, Castiel coming in right after him. 

Sam and Jimmy were in the kitchen, while Eileen and Amelia were with the kids in the backyard. Dean could see them through the sliding glass door, Ben and Claire playing soccer as their mother’s watched them and sipped tea.

“Dean, hey!” Sam said happily, coming out of the kitchen. He startled slightly when his eyes landed on Castiel, who was standing very closely to Dean. “Castiel, glad you could make it.”

“Thank you for inviting me,” Castiel responded. His eyes went to the kitchen where his brother stood. Jimmy was leaning against the counter and sipping a beer, watching them carefully. Castiel greeted his brother with a smile and a wave. “Jimmy.” 

“Castiel.” Jimmy responded lightly. “Dean.” 

“Hey, Jim,” Dean replied. “Beer already? Save some for the rest of us?”

Jimmy laughed. Dean and Castiel followed Sam back into the kitchen, where Sam had been preparing the meat for hamburgers. Dean grabbed beers for Castiel and himself from the fridge, winking to Castiel when the doctor thanked him with a rather flirtatious smile.

Jimmy noticed the exchange. His eyes flicked curiously between the men a few times while he drank his beer. Dean leaned against the sink and Castiel stood next to him. Repressing the desire to wrap his arm around the doctor’s waist and reveal the joke too fast, Dean compromised by standing unnecessarily close to the doctor.

“Good timing, arriving simultaneously like that.” Jimmy said, eyes on Castiel.

“We came together,” Dean answered, smiling and sipping his beer innocently. “Figured it’d make the most sense. We have plans later.”

At this, Sam stopped forming burgers and looked up from his work station. His gaze settled on his brother. Dean immediately saw the question in Sam’s eyes, the very question Dean intentionally planted there and hoped would plague his brother all day.

“You came here...together?” There was a carefulness to Sam’s delivery that Dean respected. Sam was trying not to push, which was nice, but it was a little too late for that now.

“Yeah, well like I said, it made the most sense. Why? Problem?” Dean asked.

“No, no it’s just...” Sam's eyes darted to Castiel, who had just noticed a smudge on Dean’s cheek and was rubbing it away gently with his thumb. Dean thanked him with a smile that lingered.

“Umm...” Sam said dumbly, mouth slack. His eyes went to Jimmy next, who was staring at Dean and Castiel like they had large balloon animals on their heads. “Dean...are you two-”

Dean pushed the smile from his face and forced a scowl. He was very grateful for the acting skills he acquired in high school drama class. His dad tried to tell him it was a waste of time, but Dean saw drama class as an easy A, as well as the perfect place to experiment with his newly accepted bisexuality.

Dean nearly slammed his beer bottle on the counter, the movement causing the beer to bubble up and spill on to the counter. 

“Damn it Sammy, for the last time Cas and I are just friends!” Castiel moved around Dean to grab paper towels to clean up the beer. Dean stepped out of the way and let him do it. “You know what- Jimmy you should hear this to- I know what you’re thinking and I’m tired of hearing it, I’m sure Cas is too. I’m just going to say this one more time, okay? Cas and I are just friends. That’s it. Nothing more. And frankly, we are getting a little fed up with this shit. Right Cas?”

“Very fed up,” Castiel agreed solemnly, a stern expression on his face.

Sam and Jimmy both looked completely stunned. Dean went in for the kill.

“Right. So stop it. In fact, if I hear one more comment about me and Cas today, I’m going to tell Eileen what really happened to her favorite sheets. Got it?” 

Sam’s eyes went wide with alarm, his head immediately jerking to the side to look out at the backyard, locating his wife.

“Yeah, yeah jeez, sorry!” Sam nearly whispered, gesturing for Dean to calm down. “I got it. I got it.”

Cas raised an eyebrow at Jimmy in challenge, but his twin only shrugged.

“I don’t have a sheets story.”

“No,” Castiel replied. “But you do have an older brother who still hasn’t a clue as to who sabotaged his first film.”

“You wouldn’t,” Jimmy challenged. 

“I would,” Castiel smiled and mimicked Jimmy’s shrug from moments before.

“Fine.” Jimmy said through gritted teeth. “Live in den-”

“What’s that?” Castiel asked, head tilted in a way that Dean found very amusing. He stifled his laughter.

“Fine.” Jimmy repeated, this time leaving off the rest.

Castiel smiled triumphantly and picked up Dean’s beer, handing it to him.

“Thanks, Cas,” Dean said, smiling at the doctor and clinking their bottles together in victory.

“Anytime, Dean.” Castiel answered. 

They sipped their beers triumphantly.

 

****

That afternoon was one of the most entertaining of Dean’s life.

He and Castiel acted just as they had since they had gotten together, like a couple, while Jimmy and Sam were forced to keep their mouths shut about it. Of course, Amelia and Eileen were suspicious, but Dean had a feeling their husbands had begged them not to question it. 

They had managed to make it through lunch without laughing, even when Dean had somehow ended up with his hand on Castiel’s knee. They were seated around the outdoor table, which was made of glass, so everyone saw Dean’s hand and subsequently Dean’s thumb stroking circles into the doctor’s knee, but no one commented on it. Even when Castiel covered Dean’s hand with his own, conversation continued to flow in the same direction. 

Sam and Jimmy’s eyes flicked between one another while they inspected their brother’s activities, both men looking like they were trying to hold in a rather substantial shit. Dean counted in his head to keep from laughing.

After lunch, they played soccer with the kids. It was the Novaks verses the Winchesters, but Dean felt his team was at an unfair disadvantage. He still wasn’t one-hundred percent healed, and his leg muscles still felt stiff when he tried to move quickly, but Dean wasn’t going to let that stop him from charging towards Castiel and challenging him for the ball. Castiel looked less than pleased with Dean’s lack of restraint and chastised him as they grappled for the soccer ball.

“You really shouldn’t be playing at all, let alone aggressively-” 

“I seem to remember,” Dean panted, weaving his foot between the ball and Castiel. “You not being my doctor anymore, Cas.”

Castiel grunted and pushed the ball back and out of Dean’s reach with impressive skill.

“Have it your way, Dean.” Castiel said with amused disappointment. He then proceeded to push the ball through Dean’s legs. He dribbled it down the yard and then passed it to Claire with ease.

“You actually know how to play, don’t you?” Dean said, hands on his hips.

Castiel shrugged and smiled innocently. They watched Claire attempt to get the ball past Eileen, who pretended to trip over the ground, leaving Claire to score a point for the Novaks. Dean and Castiel walked side by side as they walked back towards the center of the backyard for kick off. Jimmy and Sam were watching them from their respective positions, Dean could feel their eyes on them. 

He playfully put his arm around Castiel as they walked and grinned at the doctor.

“I guess I underestimated you, Cas. I’ll have to step it up a notch,” Dean teased.

“Are we talking about soccer or...” Castiel replied with a laugh, putting his hand over the one draped over the doctor’s shoulder.

Dean laughed, but shook his head.

“There are children present doctor.” His eyes went to Ben, who was standing in his preferred position at fullback. Then his gaze fell to his brother, who was staring at Dean’s exchange with Castiel with incredible interest. Jimmy looked on similarly. Dean lowered his voice.“And brothers with nothing better to do.”

Castiel snuck a glance back at his brother then let his eyes fall to Sam.

“They look like they might have an aneurysm,” Castiel giggled. “I’m rather enjoying your plan.”

“Just wait until we get Gabe,” Dean whispered, leaning over enough so that his lips brushed against Castiel’s earlobe. He felt the doctor shiver beside him. 

They released each other when they got to the center of the backyard and Castiel kicked off the ball to Dean’s team. Dean passed the ball to Sam, who passed it back to Ben, while Dean jogged and prepared to receive Ben’s long kick across the yard. Castiel was right there when the ball came to him and Dean only had a moment before the ball was kicked away from him. Castiel’s foot got caught behind Dean’s ankle though, and both men went tumbling to the ground a second later, with Dean falling on top of Castiel. 

Play continued down the field where Castiel had passed the ball to Amelia, but Dean and Castiel were intertwined in the grass and Dean couldn’t suppress his laughter. Still laying over Castiel, Dean raised up on his elbows to look down at the doctor, who had placed his hands on Dean’s hips and was looking up at him with a worried expression.

“Are you alright? You’re not hurt-”

“Stop it, no,” Dean laughed. “I’m laughing.”

“What’s so funny?” Castiel said, his hands still on Dean’s hips, which were flush with Castiel’s.

“Sam and Jimmy are probably going crazy over this,” Dean said, still not making a move to get up. “I’m literally on top of you.”

“Hey!” Sam’s voice came from across the yard, there was an obvious strain to it. “Dean, are you alright?”

Dean laughed harder.

“He’s fine!” Castiel answered, grinning affectionately up at the firefight. He whispered, “You should get up before something indecent happens.”

Dean’s laugh turned into a wide grin and he nodded.

“We wouldn’t want that,” He said playfully. He brought himself up and to his feet, then put his hand out to help Castiel up. Their hands stayed clasped just a second longer than necessary. 

Looking back up the yard to the rest of their teams, Dean and Castiel burst into laughter again, this time because Sam and Eileen were signing very quickly and Dean could see he was trying to convince his wife not to say anything to Dean about his relationship with Castiel. Claire had scored on Ben and everyone was in the processes of setting up their sides again.

“She’s telling Sam that you and I are obviously in-” Dean coughed, then continued his interpretation for Castiel, editing some of the conversation. “-Care about each other. She doesn’t understand why Sam won’t confront me about it.”

“Did Sam just sign something about a penguin?”

Dean laughed.

“No, blackmail. He says he's being blackmailed,” Dean giggled. “This is too funny. Sam is telling her that I am delusional, that we both are. He’s dying to say something.”

“By the way Jimmy keeps looking over at us, I know he wants to too,” Castiel chuckled. “You should get back to your side of the yard. They’re about to kick off without you.”

Dean sighed, eyes back on the doctor.

“I really want to kiss you right now.”

“And put them out of their misery so quickly?”

“More like put me out of mine,” Dean groaned. “Not being allowed to kiss you again kind of sucks more than I thought it would.”

Castiel chuckled and pushed Dean playfully away.

“You’ll live.”

Dean sighed again, this time more exaggerated, his eyes still on the doctor’s lips. He walked backwards towards his side of the yard. Mouthing the word ‘tease’ when Castiel pursed his lips slightly. 

“Um, everything alright?” Sam asked when Dean was back in his position. 

“Yeah,” Dean replied with a wide grin. “Me and Cas just got a little tangled up” 

Dean paused and purposely let his eyes rake over the doctor as Castiel bent over and re-tied his shoelace. Dean ogled his ass like it was the first time he’d seen it. 

“I think he’s been hitting the gym. He looks good doesn’t he?” Dean said absently, eyes still on the doctor’s backside. He could feel Sam’s gaze on him, obviously wanting to call out Dean’s behavior, and Dean suppressed a grin.

When he did tear his eyes from Castiel’s body, Dean caught Sam’s gaze and found his younger brother blinking with immense irritation and wearing the bitch face of the century. 

“Are you serious right now?” Sam blurted out, hands on his hips.

“What?” Dean was very proud that he was able to contain his laughter. “A guy can’t think another guy looks good without it being a big deal? What the hell Sam? Do we need to revisit-”

Sam threw his hands up and backed away.

“No!” He bit out. “I didn’t say anything.”

Dean regarded him a moment, a hard look on his face. 

“Alright then. Let’s get back to the game.” 

He kept his stern look in place until Sam looked away, then Dean’s frown broke into a very wide grin, his eyes back on Castiel.

***

After the game, the adults sat down at the outside table with drinks and watched the kids run through the sprinkler. Eileen brought out brownies and they munched on those while discussing plans for the rest of the summer and fall. Somehow the holidays came up, and Sam asked the Novaks what their plans were. He and Dean signed through their conversations, so that Eileen wouldn’t have to struggle through reading five sets of lips.

“Well, _some_ of us will be headed up to Connecticut to spend Thanksgiving and Christmas with our parents,” Jimmy replied pointedly.

“Some?” Dean asked, eyes on Castiel.

“I prefer to stay here,” The doctor replied. “I visit my parents and Michael during the year.”

“Which year would that be?” Jimmy shot back with a smile, sipping his beer smugly.

Castiel glared at him.

“You don’t like spending the holidays with your family?” Sam asked.

“It’s not that...” Castiel replied slowly. His gaze fell to Dean after a moment and Dean could see the uncomfortableness in the doctor’s eyes. 

“Well, you’re welcome to spend the holidays with us this year if you want,” Dean supplied quickly. He hated the idea of Castiel spending the holidays alone. He assumed he spent his holidays with Inias before he died. Another horrible experience Castiel had to go through, the first Christmas without his fiancé.

Dean looked over to Sam for support, hoping his brother would be eager to agree to Dean’s proposition, but Sam just looked at Dean like his head had grown two sizes bigger. It only took a second for Sam to shake himself out of whatever he was thinking. He stumbled over his words as he spoke.

“Yeah, yeah, of course man, you’re welcome....anytime.” Sam was obviously flustered. Dean assumed it was because he had just invited his supposedly platonic friend of just a few months to spend Thanksgiving and Christmas with them, which he guessed would seem a little odd.

“Thank you, but I think maybe I will go see my family this year.” Castiel responded hesitantly. “It has been awhile since I’ve done so.”

Sam smiled and nodded, but Dean wasn’t convinced.

“That’s cool, if it’s what you want to do,” Dean said, placing his hand on Castiel’s forearm, which was resting on top of the table. “The offer is open though, if you change your mind.”

Castiel covered Dean’s hand with his own.

“Thank you, Dean.” Castiel’s eyes expressed how thoughtful he thought Dean’s invitation was and Dean was overcome with the urge to kiss him again. He stifled it, yet again, but Dean was just about through with his little game anyway. 

Sam was on the verge of a total mental breakdown by the look of him. His eyes had to have been extremely dry by how often they were held wide as he stared in Castiel and Dean’s direction. His tongue also probably had bite marks on it, over how many times he had to keep himself from saying something. Now, he could tell Sam was bursting at the seams to dissect why Dean would invite Castiel to their family holiday. He could read it all over his brother’s face.

Dean thought it was time for the grand finale.

“Well, Cas and I better get going if we want to make our dinner reservations.”

“Reservations?” Jimmy echoed, eyes narrowing. “Where at?”

“ _La Maison de l'Amour,_ ” Castiel answered, the French name sliding off his tongue in a way that made Dean’s heart stutter. His eyes stayed on the doctor’s lips. “I’ve heard the Blanquette de Veau is phenomenal.”

“The blanqu-” Sam cut himself off and looked between Dean and Castiel, who were rising from the table.“You’re going to that new restaurant with hearts all over the window?”

“Yep,” Dean nodded. “And we better get back to my place so we can shower and change.” He looked over to Castiel and asked casually, “I guess we could always double up in the shower, save some time.” 

Castiel shrugged with his mouth and nodded, while Sam choked and spit out his beer all over the table, where Jimmy’s jaw was now, metaphorically, resting.

“That would make sense,” Castiel replied. “I think I forgot to pack another pair of boxers though, do you think I could borrow some?”

“Yeah, sure.” Dean said easily. “Oh hey,” Dean stopped and leaned in closer to Castiel. An eyelash had fallen onto the doctor’s cheek and Dean plucked it up with his index finger. He held it close to Castiel’s lips. “Make a wish.” 

Castiel smiled as he wrapped his hand around Dean’s wrist, pretending to be oblivious to everyone gawking at them around the table. He blew softly on eyelash and it fluttered into the air.

“What did you wish for?” Dean asked quietly, still incredibly close. Sam cleared his throat and Amelia giggled softly.

“For Sherlock and John to finally admit their feelings for each other,” Castiel responded.

This time, it was Jimmy’s beer that was choked on. It dribbled down his chin as he watched his brother smile back at Dean. 

Sam stood abruptly and everyone turned to look at him. Eileen’s hand was in his, pulling him back down to his chair, but Sam resisted.

“Okay! This is really getting ridiculous,” Sam all but shouted. “I know I said I wouldn’t say anything, and I understand that you’re going to be an asshole and tell- well, that you’ll do the thing if I say anything, but holy shit Dean, _seriously_?”

Dean furrowed his brow in mock confusion.

“What?”

“This-this-” Sam gestured wildly and finally pointed between them, “ _This_! This is not normal guys.”

It was Castiel’s turn to feign ignorance.

“What’s not normal?”

“The touching, the flirting, the groping sessions in the grass, the freaking romantic dinners at French bistros? _Come on_ , I know you two aren’t that delusional.” He looked down to Jimmy for back up. Castiel’s twin nodded in agreement.

“Yeah...I…I concur. Emphatically.”

Castiel and Dean looked between their brothers for a moment, then Dean broke the silence with a loud sigh.

“Are we seriously back at this? Guys, I know you mean well, but Cas and I know what we are. Okay? I mean, so what if we enjoy each other’s company and find each other attractive? A lot of friends do, right? And, you know there are a lot of friendships out there that include joint showers or the occasional kiss goodbye. A lot of friends do that.”

“Um, no they don’t.” Sam responded at the same time Amelia cut in with, “You kiss?”

“Of course we kiss,” Castiel squinted his eyes at his sister in law. “We’re _friends._ ”

Dean nodded along with Castiel assessment.

“Yeah, that’s totally normal. All friendships look different, Sam.”

“No, it’s not!” Sam argued, his hands once again up and gesturing wildly. “You’re telling me you guys kiss, regularly?”

“Yes.” Dean and Castiel exclaimed simultaneously.

“Oh my god,” Sam shut his eyes and rubbed them with his hand. “And I suppose sex is included in some of these friendships as well?”

Dean and Castiel shared a look, then shrugged.

“Some don’t, our’s does.”

Jimmy startled in his chair as Amelia made a little shrieking noise in hers. 

“You’re having sex?”

Dean and Castiel answered simultaneously.

“Of course.”

“Wait....” Sam said quietly, astonished into near silence. Then without warning his voice boomed in shock.” _WHAT?_ ”

He looked between Dean and Castiel helplessly, who were both still looking at their brother’s with the most earnest and genuine expressions they were capable of. Dean could feel his lips twitching, but tried to bury his laughter. He was going to milk this until the very last second.

After a moment of just staring at his brother, Sam eyes widened and his head began to shake back and forth.

“You. Absolute. _Dick._ ”

What was just a lip twitch before, abruptly turned into an all out guffaw and Castiel joined him a second later, doubling over and bracing himself on Dean.

“Are you- Why- What just happened?” Jimmy finally asked Sam. 

“Our brothers think they are hilarious, that’s what happened.” Sam answered through pursed lips. Eileen was laughing next to him.

“You...shoulda...seen your...faces!” Dean finally got out through his laughter. “ I mean, I- Cas and I- we just-” They looked at each other, then fell into another fit of giggles.

“How long?” Eileen asked Dean with amusement.

“How long what?” Jimmy replied before Dean could. Castiel’s twin still looked confused.

“How long have they been together.” Eileen answered

“They’re together?” 

After a second, a light bulb looked like it had gone off over Jimmy’s head. 

“Oh. Ohhh.” He turned to his brother and flicked him off. “Asshole.”

That only set the laughing duo off again. Sam sat back down in his chair and crossed his arms like he was annoyed, but Dean could see the smile he was fighting to keep at bay.

“Oh, come on, admit it. That was pretty hilarious.” Dean finally said, once his tears were wiped away and he was able to speak normally.

“You’re a jerk,” Sam responded shortly. “Congratulations.”

“Congratulations for being a jerk?” Dean questioned. Castiel placed his hand on the small of Dean’s back and Dean leaned into him slightly.

“No, congratulations on finally getting your heads out of your asses.” Sam shot back. “So, are you going to tell us how this happened?”

“After the ballgame Monday,” Dean replied. “It just sorta...yeah.” 

He and Castiel shared a private look.

“Wasn’t that when we had that storm?” Amelia asked.

Both men blushed furiously and shared another lingering gaze. Dean didn’t need a mirror to know how besotted they looked.

“Yes,” Castiel replied, eyes still on Dean. “There was rather strong storm that night.”

Dean’s mind supplied him with memories of the night he and Castiel had gotten together for the first time. Their first kiss in his kitchen, their second out in the rain after they fought. Their passionate embraces that left them half naked and coming all over each other in the middle of his hallway. The shower that came after and the bed that they shared while they slept. That night would go down as one of the most emotional of Dean’s life, but it would also easily be in competition for the best.

Someone cleared their throat, possibly because Dean had gotten lost in Castiel’s eyes. Castiel was probably in the middle of remembering their first night together as well, judging by the look he was giving Dean as he stared back.

Dean wanted to kiss him. He realized he no longer had a reason not to. He leaned in and pressed his lips softly to Castiel’s, whose own lips had curled into a smile by the time they connected. It was chaste due to their audience, but Dean thought maybe that kiss would go on record as one of his favorites. He was kissing Castiel in front of the most important people in his life and that made everything so much more real. 

Amelia clapped and Sam laughed, but Dean was only focused on Castiel. 

After a moment they pulled apart, but their fingers wove together. When Dean finally pulled his eyes from Castiel and brought them to his brother, he found Sam smiling widely back at him. He didn’t have to say anything, because Dean could see how happy Sam was for him just by the look on his face. Eileen’s looked just the same. 

There was a sort of proud look in Jimmy’s eyes as he looked up at his brother, but then something changed in his expression and he bursted into laughter.

“What?” Castiel asked.

Jimmy settled himself before responding.

“Gabriel’s going to shit himself with satisfaction.”


	32. Interlude VI

To say that Castiel had fallen in love with Dean would be a huge misrepresentation of his feelings. Castiel hadn’t just fallen in love with Dean; he had fallen in love with life. 

Again.

When Inias died, Castiel was so overcome with grief he allowed it to settle into every aspect of his life. Even years after he buried Inias, Castiel didn’t find pleasure in the things he once did. He was apathetic to just about everything. That was normal for the first six months; all the grief counselors said so. It was when Castiel still didn’t care to do anything outside of work or sleep after that time period that Castiel became aware of how little life mattered to him anymore. He cared about his patient’s lives and his family’s, but he had lost most of his friends after he refused to pull himself out of his depression. Everyone except Meg steadily became less and less interested in trying to get Castiel out of the house. 

Castiel didn’t care.

The nights he went out with Meg were spent heavily under the influence, which allowed Castiel to release himself of his self imposed prison of grief, which was why he continued to spend time with her even when it became obvious she had developed feelings for him. She knew he wasn’t interested and didn’t push. Castiel appreciated Meg’s friendship. They did have a rather unfortunate sexual encounter during one of their earlier nights out, but neither spoke of it after the fact and the situation never repeated itself.

Castiel lived his life, for two years he lived his shell of a life, like he was walking through a haze of smoke, covered by a dark cloud. He did nothing to change this, because in a lot of ways it was easier that way. It was much harder to fight, to _try_. He didn’t want to try, he had no reason to. He coasted through days, weeks, months, years; robotic in many ways.

Then, a firefighter called him Batman and the dark clouds over his head parted. 

If someone were to ask Castiel what it was that kept drawing him back to Dean, he wouldn’t have been able to tell them. 

Dean Winchester was certainly attractive, funny, smart, kind and confident in a way that made Castiel feel things he hadn’t felt in a very long time. If ever. Just entering Dean’s hospital room was like breathing for the first time in years. Castiel didn’t know how to explain it, he didn’t know what it meant, but he knew he couldn’t allow it. 

His heart had begun beating again, after being declared legally dead for two years, but Castiel didn’t want it to. He begged his heart to cooperate. Dean Winchester was dangerous, he knew this. He was a firefighter; he would inevitably die and leave Castiel right where Dean had found him. Alone. Dead inside, except for the fear the doctor readily cultivated.

But then, Castiel allowed himself to be seduced into friendship. It was hard not to, when the cloud over his head, the ice in his heart, had begun to recede. Being around Dean made Castiel feel things again. A lot of those things were dangerous and ill-advised, but Castiel pushed past his attraction and focused on the beauty of the colors he had forgotten existed. Dean’s friendship, his presence in Castiel's life, didn’t just open Castiel’s heart again, it opened his eyes. He focused on the warmth that spread through his chest when Claire laughed. He remembered how good it felt to sit in the grass, feel the wind on his face. He allowed himself to feel emotions he had bottled up for so long. The fear had receded, it had been taken over by other feelings stronger than it. Excitement, hope, joy, even anger. Dean’s friendship pushed Castiel, not only into feeling these emotions, but expressing them too. 

But now, Castiel was admittedly in love with Dean and he was afraid again. Afraid of losing Dean, afraid of being afraid that he would lose Dean. Castiel was finally happy and he didn’t want anything to come in the way of that. His world was in color for the first time in two years and he would do anything to keep it that way. It was terrifying to think that Dean was the cause for that. Castiel didn’t like the idea of having a person be responsible for his happiness, especially after what happened to Inias. That wasn’t the way things were supposed to be. _Castiel_ was supposed to be the reason for his own happiness. He knew enough about psychology to know that.

For the time being though, Castiel planned to continue soaking up the joy and happiness he felt when he was around Dean. He would allow his love for the man wash over him in ways that he didn’t think possible ever again. Castiel would worry about everything else later. For now, he had Dean.

For now, he was alive again.


	33. Chapter 33

Dean and Castiel spent Saturday night at Dean’s place after having a quiet dinner at a more modest restaurant than the one they told their brother’s they were going to. They walked from Dean’s place to the restaurant and on the walk home; they held hands and giggled over their accomplished plan to prank Sam and Jimmy.

“I’ve got an idea for my brother,” Castiel said. “It’s a little out there, and it will require your acting skills.”

Dean raised a questioning eyebrow.

“What will I have to do?”

“Let’s just say, you will be making my brother _very_ uncomfortable.”

“I won’t have to, you know, _do_ anything. Right?”

Castiel laughed.

“No, definitely not.”

“Alright, cool with me then. Are you going to tell me what this plan is or-”

“Not just yet,” Castiel replied. “I have to make sure a few things are possible first.”

“Grand scale prank, huh? I’m liking the sound of this.”

Castiel laughed again, looking up at the bright waning moon. 

“I have a feeling you’ll enjoy yourself greatly.”

Dean pulled on Castiel’s hands abruptly and twisted himself around to stop them in place. Dean kissed Castiel softly.

“Any chance of _enjoying ourselves greatly_ a little later?”

Castiel smirked, pressing himself against Dean and kissed him again.

“Definitely.”

A little bounce entered their steps as they continued home. After a few minutes of companionable silence, Dean asked Castiel something he wasn’t sure he wanted to hear the answer to.

“Can I ask you something Cas? Something about Inias?”

Castiel’s hand stiffened slightly in Dean’s grasp.

“Sure,” He said hesitantly. 

“I, um, I was just wondering...about the bedroom thing.”

Dean looked down at his feet after asking the question, his face growing hot all of the sudden. Castiel didn’t respond right away. When he did, his voice was just as unsure as it had been before. He seemed to stumble over his own thoughts.

“I wondered what you might think of that. I don’t -It’s not that I-,” Castiel stopped speaking and sighed. “It isn’t easy to talk about Inias. Especially with you.”

“I can understand that.” Dean replied. “I just want you to know that...I’m here, you know? That it’s okay with me if you want to talk about him.” Dean stopped walking and the men turned to look at each other. “I just want to be sure that I’m not pushing you too fast. The bedroom thing kind of threw me a little.”

“Why?”

“Because...because I’d understand not being able to sleep in the bed you shared with him...but the whole room? It doesn’t seem...I don’t know. It doesn’t paint the picture that you’re ready to move on with someone else.”

Castiel looked startled for a second, blinking rapidly as he usually did when he was thinking. When his head started to tilt slightly, the corner of Dean’s mouth went with it.

“I’m sorry. I don’t want you to feel insecure.”

“It’s not about being insecure, Cas.” Dean assuaged. “It’s not about me at all. I just want to make sure _you’re_ okay with this. With us. If you need more time-”

“No,” Castiel interrupted. “I don’t need more time. I’ve had-” Castiel sighed and shook his head. “I’ve had two years without him. You’re right. I should be further along in the moving on process.”

“That’s not what I’m trying to say.” Dean responded quickly. “Everyone moves on at their own time. I mean, when our Dad died, Sam was relatively fine after a week or two. It took me longer. I’m not saying you’re doing anything wrong here, Cas. I’m just saying I don’t want to be the reason you push yourself before you’re ready.”

Castiel didn’t say anything at first. His expression was soft as it contemplated Dean’s words. The crease in his brow growing deeper for just a moment before a tiny smile pulled at his lips. 

“I _am_ ready. I think I’ve just been waiting...I don’t know, waiting for something to pull me out of my... whatever my life has been these last two years. I didn’t want it to be you, for reasons I’ve already expressed, but it _is_ you.” 

Castiel reached up and put his hand over Dean’s cheek. Dean’s face leaned into the contact.

“I am ready to move on, Dean. I think I have been ready for some time actually, but I...I still kept waiting. I guess... I guess I’ve just been waiting for you.”

Dean let the weight of Castiel’s words settle inside of him, before leaning in and softly placing his lips on Castiel’s. What Castiel had just said was definitely the most romantic thing Dean had ever heard and he wasn’t really good with stuff like that. He appreciated Castiel’s words; he just didn’t know how to respond to them. Kissing the doctor felt like the right thing to do and it was all Dean wanted to do anyway. 

They kissed on the barely lit sidewalk, slowly and eventually deeply, before Castiel pulled away. His eyelashes fluttered against his cheeks, making Dean just want to lean back in and kiss the man senseless again, but they were only a couple blocks from his house and he really wanted more than another kiss. 

“Was that....was that a bit much?” Castiel said carefully. “I don’t want to scare you aw-”

“No,” Dean smiled and placed both of his hands on Castiel’s face, leaning in to kiss him again. “Not at all. I’m not going anywhere, Cas.”

They pulled apart everywhere but for their hands and continued to walk.

“I’m not really used to hearing stuff like that, though” Dean said after a moment.

Castiel laughed.

“I’m not really used to _saying_ stuff like that.”

Dean laughed too.

“Well, you’re pretty good at it. I think my foot might have even popped on that last kiss.”

“I was kind of hopping something else would pop up instead,” Castiel replied, still chuckling softly.

“Oh, that’s a guarantee.” Dean responded, squeezing Castiel’s hand. 

When they rounded the corner to Dean’s apartment building, Dean quickened his pace and pulled Castiel along. Castiel came willingly, obviously fully aware of where Dean’s mind had gone. The sooner they were inside Dean’s apartment, the sooner Dean could be inside of Castiel.

The moment the apartment door was closed, the men came together like magnets. Their hands clawed at each other’s clothing, their mouths were open and gasping. They kissed fiercely, wildly, as if they had never known passion before. Dean thought maybe he hadn’t not really, not like _this_. His mind briefly wandered to how he compared to Castiel’s previous partner, but that stream of thought was immediately cut off by Castiel’s hand sliding teasingly over the front of his jeans. 

Dean’s eyes rolled back as he pushed himself against Castiel’s hand. He reciprocated the gesture after a second, but then slipped his fingers under the waistband of Castiel’s pants and pulled him along towards Dean’s bedroom. They kissed as they moved, bumping into doorways and nearly tripping over a basket of clothing Dean had yet to fold. 

They made it into Dean’s bedroom eventually, giggling over the almost fall and kissing more sweetly than they were before. Clothing was shed after a few moments of kissing next to Dean’s bed. 

Dean took his time undressing Castiel.

He started with the buttons of his shirt, sliding his hands over Castiel’s pectoral muscles as he moved to push Castiel’s shirt off of his shoulders. Dean leaned down and kissed Castiel’s bare shoulder, dusting his lips along his skin until he reached the doctor’s collar bone. Dean flicked his tongue over the hardened area, swirling around seductively as his hands moved lower, gripping Castiel’s waist. The doctor made agreeable noises, his hands in Dean’s hair, his voice low and gruff when he told Dean how much he wants him. 

Dean moved to Castiel’s pants next, working open the button and fly with one hand while his other hand snaked around and slipped under the waistband, moving his hand down until he was cupping Castiel’s ass with a strong hand. Dean squeezed and Castiel moaned, the doctor kissing along Dean’s neck as the firefighter continued to undress him slowly. Dean brought his lips back up to meet Castiel’s pushing his tongue inside slowly, deeply, like his intention was to show Castiel exactly how good Dean planned to fuck him.

Dean moved slowly down Castiel’s neck, kissing and sucking as he lowered himself to his knees. His hands moved along the doctor’s body as he went, caressing his sides and gripping his waist. When he was on his knees, Dean reached down and untied both of Castiel’s shoes, before helping him out of them. The socks were next, followed by several kisses to Castiel’s delicious hipbones. Dean couldn’t resist when they were right in his face. Just like another thing he couldn’t resist, when it was right in his face.

Dean pulled down Castiel’s pants and underwear, while his tongue licked its way down the small trail of dark hair leading to Castiel’s cock. Castiel’s hands were in Dean’s hair as he stepped out of his pants and finally stood completely naked before Dean. His cock was hard, leaking, _gorgeous._ Dean pressed his cheek against it, mouthing along the shaft as he turned his head. Castiel groaned upon contact, gripping Dean’s hair a little tighter as Dean flicked his tongue over the head. While Dean took more of Castiel into his mouth, he reached around and caressed the doctor’s ass, working his way towards the crest. 

“Shit, Dean...that feels...” Castiel moaned above him. 

Dean continued to suck, taking more and more until he could feel the doctor’s cock hit the back of his throat. He pulled back slightly, not wanting to trigger his gag reflex. With his thumb, Dean pressed against Castiel’s entrance, just a little. He had no intention of entering the doctor without lubrication, but the pressure of his thumb was a promise and Castiel moaned louder above him.

“Why do you still have clothes on?” Castiel questioned, eyes on Dean as the firefighter continued to suck him off. When they made eye contact, Dean’s mouth full of Castiel’s cock, the doctor pulled his lower lip into his mouth, his eyes dark and overwhelmed with lust. “God that looks...so... _oh god._ ” 

Castiel’s head fell back as his hips moved just the smallest amount into Dean’s face. Dean suppressed a chuckle and pulled off slowly, giving the head of Castiel’s cock another lick before rising to his feet.

“Why _do_ I still have clothes on?” Dean teased, leaning in and kissing Castiel again. The doctor wrapped his arms around him and pulled them together, then groaned in irritation.

“Naked. You need to be-” Castiel cut himself off as he pulled Dean’s shirt up and over his head, discarding it to the floor. Dean toed off his shoes, then Castiel pushed Dean back towards the bed. Castiel bent down and kissed Dean, still standing before him, while Dean sat on the bed. The doctor quickly unbuttoned and unzipped Dean’s jeans while kissing him. Dean lifted his hips and Castiel pulled Dean’s jeans and boxers down and off. Dean’s hard cock sprung free and Castiel looked down at it hungrily. When he bent down though, he only placed a chaste kiss to the tip of Dean’s cock, before reaching down to take Dean’s socks off.

“Lay back,” Castiel commanded softly, gesturing towards the head of Dean’s bed. Dean thrilled at the assertive request and did as he was told, practically scrambling back towards the head of his bed and resting his head on his pillow. Castiel climbed up and on top of him, sliding their bodies together perfectly and rolling his hips into Dean’s. 

Both men groaned in pleasure, Dean’s hands gripping Castiel’s waist as the doctor rubbed their cocks together with his movements. 

“Dean,” Castiel panted. “Do you have-”

“Drawer,” Dean responded, barely coherent. “Cas, you feel so _good._ ”

Castiel hummed and kissed along Dean’s shoulder and arm as he reached for Dean’s bedside drawer and found what he was looking for. His lips hovered next to Dean’s ear, the doctor’s hips still rolling languidly and driving Dean inane. When he whispered, his lips tickled Dean’s earlobe and sent a shiver down his body.

“Just wait until you’re inside of me. Then see how good I feel.”

Dean nearly growled in response, his hands gripping Castiel tighter, then moving up to grab the small bottle Castiel offered him. Castiel shifted on top of Dean, so that Dean could reach around him. Castiel stroked at his own cock once while Dean lubricated his fingers, the sight of which, had Dean dribbling lube on his own chest. 

“You’re so fucking hot,” Dean groaned. “ Come here.”

Castiel leaned forward slightly, giving Dean better access. Dean reached around and rubbed his lubricated fingers against Castiel’s hole, while the doctor stroked their cocks together. When Dean pressed the first finger inside, Castiel tensed slightly, but urged Dean to continue. Dean waited until Castiel was completely relaxed, before crooking his finger and circling it, coaxing Castiel to begin opening for him. 

“Oh, yes....that feels... _yes_...” Castiel panted above him, his eyes rolling back.

Dean slowly pushed the second finger inside when Castiel was ready, scissoring his fingers when the doctor all but demanded it.

“I don’t want to rush,” Dean argued softly, looking up at Castiel with genuine concern. “I don’t want to hurt you. It’s been...has it been...?”

“Yes,” Castiel nodded. “I haven’t...not since...It’s okay. I’m okay. Just go slow.”

Dean nodded and Castiel bent down to kiss him. Their tongues rolled together as Dean started opening Castiel again, waiting a few minutes before introducing the third finger. Castiel tensed again, but Dean moved his other hand between them and replaced Castiel’s hand on their cocks with his own. He wrapped his hand around Castiel and stroked him while he fingered him, and Castiel relaxed again, eventually rolling back onto Dean’s fingers earnestly.

“I’m ready,” Castiel moaned. When Dean continued to finger him, Castiel complained. “Dean, I’m ready. _Please._ ”

Dean relented at the sound of how desperate Castiel sounded. He pulled his fingers out of Castiel as Castiel reached for the condom . He opened it quickly and unrolled it down on to Dean’s cock. The doctor stroked himself again as he leaned forward and positioned himself over Dean’s cock. 

He looked gorgeous like that, hovering above him, eager to accept Dean inside of himself. Dean had never been more turned on.

Castiel slowly lowered himself onto Dean’s cock, pausing after the tip, allowing himself to adjust then sinking further and further down until he was fully seated. The intensity of the amazing feeling left Dean breathless and seeing stars. He gripped Castiel’s hips tightly, forcing himself to stay still, letting Castiel decide when it was time to move. 

Dean stared up at the doctor for a moment then closed his eyes, the intense pleasure of feeling himself surrounded by tight wet heat, threatening to overwhelm him completely. After a moment, Castiel rocked his hips slightly and Dean moaned softly. He opened his eyes.

Castiel was smiling down at him, any sign of pain or hesitation replaced with affectionate desire. He rocked his hips again, this time pushing himself down against Dean. Dean thrust upward experimentally, carefully watching for any sign of discomfort from the doctor. Castiel only groaned in pleasure at the movement, so Dean did it again.

“Cas,” Dean moaned. “You feel so...so...”Castiel shifted and pulled himself up on Dean’s cock, then sunk back down quickly. “... _amazingohmygod._

Castiel placed his hands on Dean’s chest and began to ride Dean’s cock. He moved up and down, slow enough to keep Dean from coming immediately, but quickly enough so that they were both groaning with effort moments later. Dean met Castiel’s ass with his hips with ever cant of Castiel’s, their bodies moving in perfect synchronization as Dean slid in and out of him. 

Castiel’s hand moved down to his own cock, but Dean pushed it away and replaced it with his own. Dean set the pace of his hand to the rhythm of Castiel’s hips as they rocked up and down. Dean canted his own hips up, pushing himself even deeper inside Castiel even deeper, pulling a gasp of pleasure from the doctor. Castiel responded by squeezing around Dean’s cock and then quickening his pace, moving faster. 

Then, it was as if Dean was the one being fucked again. Even when it was his own cock buried inside the doctor, Dean like he was being filled up and made whole, just by the way the doctor met his every thrust. Dean matched the pace of Castiel’s hips, jacking Castiel faster, with longer strokes that had the doctor moaning obscenities.

“Fucking...fuck yes. Oh god, fuck, Dean- yes, fuck _yes_...faster, harder, faster- _oh_ -”

Dean felt Castiel squeeze around his cock again, the doctor’s head flying back as he writhed with pleasure above him. Made wet and sticky by Castiel’s orgasm, Dean’s hand stroked Castiel through his climax. His hand began to stutter as his own explosive climax hit. Dean felt like he had been pulled out of his body, the pleasure so intense he was sure he was floating above the bed, watching himself come inside of Castiel. 

At that point in his life, Dean had had his fair share of sex, but nothing compared to what he and Castiel were sharing. The knowledge of this brought a familiar flutter to Dean’s stomach.

Ten minutes later, after they’d cleaned up and curled into bed beside each other, Castiel traced patterns into Dean’s bare chest and Dean placed a kiss to the top of the doctor’s head. The men cuddled, they giggled; they spoke of Sherlock and the latest Royals streak. They drifted off in each other’s arms, each of them perfectly comfortable and undeniably happy.


	34. Chapter 34

The following week, after Dean had finished a round of physical therapy with Jo, Castiel called to tell him his plan for Gabriel was ready. He told Dean where to meet him and at what time, and Dean assured the doctor he wouldn’t be late. Their plan for Gabriel was a doozey, there was no way in hell Dean was going to be the one to mess it up.

He left physical therapy sore and tired, both physically and emotionally. Jo had used the first fifteen minutes of their session to complain about the tea bags Charlie left all over her counter, the nurse having taken up residence with Jo while her fire-damaged apartment was repaired. Dean listened attentively as he let Jo stretch him, sometimes a little too far, and offered advice where necessary. The next half hour was devoted to strength exercises, which were broken up by Jo vacillating between being annoyed and enamored with Charlie. Dean was only able to keep himself from laughing because of the pain he felt while he worked out. Jo would throw in an occasional jab about him and Castiel, but Dean would just smile and wiggle his eyebrows at her in response. 

He had come clean to Charlie and Jo both at lunch a few days prior about his new relationship with Castiel, and both women shrieked with joy before throwing themselves at Dean and squeezing the life out him. To say they were pleased would be an understatement. 

By the time he was walking out of physical therapy, after promising to double date with Jo and Charlie later that week, Dean was answering Castiel’s phone call and booking it to the elevator. After he had calmed Castiel down, and reminded him how awesome it would be to see the look on his brother’s face, Dean had hung up and walked to his car.

When his phone buzzed in his pocket again just as he was reaching for the door handle, Dean was expecting it to be Castiel again. He chuckled and rolled his eyes, not even bothering to look at the screen before accepting the call.

“Trust me, Cas. It’s going to go great.” Dean said, smiling as he entered his car and started it up.

“It’s Sam,” Dean’s little brother said with a laugh. “Don’t you look at your screen when you answer?”

Dean startled at Sam’s voice but joined him in a quick laugh a second later.

“Usually, I just got off the phone with him though and he was fretting about something. Sorry, what’s up?”

“Well, I- uh, I got some news.” Sam said hesitantly. His voice was slightly strained, but Dean didn’t get a bad feeling.

“News? What kind of news?” Dean refrained from pulling out of his parking spot, he left it idling and concentrated on Sam.

“I wanted to do this in person, but I’ve been working late every night this week and you’ve got that thing tonight and I just- we didn’t want to wait any longer to tell you.”

“Oookay...” Dean replied carefully. “Well, let’s have it.”

“Eileen’s pregnant.” Sam said with a happy sigh, then before Dean could get a breath of congratulations out, he continued. “With twins.”

The sound Dean made was somewhere between a squeak and a chuckle.

“Oh my- Seriously?” Dean asked, excitement pulsing through his words. “Twins?”

“Yep. We had a scan a couple weeks ago, we just weren’t sure...you know with the trouble we’ve had before, Eileen didn’t want to say anything until we knew things looked good.”

“Holy crap. Sammy.” Dean was speechless. As far as Dean knew, Sam and Eileen stopped trying to have another baby a few years ago, after having a few losses. “I am...I’m _so_ happy for you guys.”

“Thanks man. I’m well, it’s _twins_ which we weren’t really expecting, but I’m really excited. It’s going to be great to have a full house. Eileen is thrilled.”

“I bet,” Dean was smiling from ear to ear. “I know she’s always wanted a big family.”

“Yeah she- oh, crap.” There were garbled voices on the other end of the phone. “I got to go.” Sam let out a loud sigh. “This case is kicking my ass Dean.”

“Sorry bro,” Dean sympathized. “Too bad we can’t switch for the day.”

“Why, what have you got planned?”

Dean snickered,

“Porn. Lots and lots of porn.”

 

****

Dean showed up to the address Castiel had sent him ten minutes early. The warehouse was on the industrial side of town, an area Dean had never been before. The warehouse itself was much nicer than the ones around it, freshly painted with a well manicured lawn in front. The walkway to the front door was a dark red brick and the windows were painted over with abstract art. 

He met Castiel around the back of the building where they had agreed to meet. Castiel was pacing by the back door, looking down at his phone and muttering under his breath when Dean approached him. Dean placed both hands on the doctor’s shoulders and began to knead.

“ _Relax_ ,” He said calmly. “Everything is going to go perfectly. Did you get everything set up?”

Castiel turned around and smiled. 

“Yes, everything is in place. Are you ready?”

“As I’ll ever be,” Dean replied.

“Okay, let’s do it.”

Castiel led Dean through the back door of the warehouse, where a small water fountain greeted them, along with several large potted plants. There was sophisticated instrumental music playing, which Dean thought extremely ironic considering what took place in that warehouse. The foyer area was closed off, only a couple dozen square feet, and there were a few different doors that led who knew where, aside from the double set in the middle. 

Castiel took Dean to the door on the left and opened it, letting Dean through first.

Inside, was what looked like a typical office area. There were several cubicles and a couple vending machines, as well as large white boards with writing and graphic drawings on them. People sat at computers in the cubicles with headphones on, some of them staring impassively at their screens, some of them talking amongst themselves. Dean caught a glimpse of the computer one young woman was watching from time to time, while she scribbled notes in a notebook. Dean immediately looked away once he realized what he was seeing on the screen. It was a rather graphic rimming circle. Dean tried as hard as he could to erase the memory forever. 

When they reached the office at the back of the room, Castiel knocked once then opened the door. He went inside first, leaving Dean to trail in after him.

“Hey baby bro, you ready for lunch?” Gabriel said from behind his desk. “Oh! Dean-o, will your pretty little face be joining us?”

“If that’s alright,” Castiel said, taking one of the two seats that sat before Gabriel’s desk. Dean took the other. 

“Sure, sure,” Gabriel said, leaning back in his overly large leather chair and placing his hands together. “Happy to have your boy toy tag along Cassie.” 

“I’m not his boy toy,” Dean said with irritation, even though he really wasn’t that annoyed. He could think of worse things to be.

Gabriel gave him a disbelieving look.

“Oh, is that why you two look all glowy? Because you _haven’t_ been fucking each other’s brains out for the last week?”

“Yes, that was the most tactful way to say that. Thank you.” Castiel rolled his eyes. 

Neither of them were shocked to find that Gabriel had deduced their new status, they knew he would figure it out quickly.

“You should have listened to me sooner, Cassie. Your dick could have been wet-”

“Gabe!” Dean cut him off with a clap of his hands, then rubbed them together. “We actually didn’t just come to be reminded of how active our sex life is right now.”

Gabriel sighed and looked over to Castiel.

“So how is he? Good? He looks like he’d be-”

“Well, actually,” Castiel interrupted. “You’re about to get a chance to find out for yourself, Gabriel.”

Dean heard the hesitation in Castiel’s voice, but any sign of nerves vanished upon Gabriel’s confused look.

“Huh?” 

Dean took in a deep breath, like he was preparing himself to say something rather difficult.

“Well, as you know I was in a pretty bad accident a while back and the medical bills are starting to come in. My insurance covers about half, but it’s not nearly enough. I’m uh...” Dean looked down at his hands, as if embarrassed. “I’m pretty strapped for cash right now.”

“Good thing you’re dating a doctor,” Gabriel replied easily. “Sugar daddy Castiel can take care of all your needs.”

“I offered, of course,” Castiel responded with a sigh. “But Dean won’t accept my help.”

At this, Gabriel shoulder’s tensed slightly and his casual slouch became straighter.

“Not unsurprising,” Gabriel said hesitantly. “He’s a proud one.”

“Right, well,” Dean continued. “I’ve uh, well you don’t know this about me, but in college I did a few films to help pay for classes and well, since you have your own thing set up I figured I might ask you if you could help me out a bit.”

“Help you...” Gabriel’s eyes grew wide and Dean bit his inner cheeks to keep from laughing. “Help you...how exactly?”

Castiel cleared his throat and put his hand over Dean’s.

“Dean was hoping you’d be able to put him in a few of your films. Just until he pays off his medical bills.”

Gabriel looked between them with wide eyes, his head moving back and forth quickly, almost like a cartoon character. Castiel squeezed Dean’s hand.

“I know it’s weird,” Dean said, trying to look appropriately embarrassed. “But I could really use the money.”

Gabriel didn’t say anything for a long time. When he did, his eyes were on Dean, but he spoke to Castiel.

“Castiel, you’re okay with this?”

“Well, it’s not exactly something I would choose, but Dean is a grown man and he can make his own choices. I support him.”

“You do know, he’d have to have sex with someone else...right?”

Castiel nodded solemnly. 

“I understand that, but its pornography. It’s not real. I can accept that.”

“Well, actually,” Dean said, looking between Castiel and Gabriel. “I thought maybe it would be better if I did them with you, Gabe. You know, so it wasn’t like I was just banging a complete stranger.”

“Oh, that’s an interesting idea,” Castiel’s face was somewhere between serious contemplation and holding back a barely there smile. He looked to his brother when he had full control over his face. “I know you don’t do films often anymore, Gabriel, but I think Dean’s idea is a good one.”

If it was at all possible, Gabriel’s eyes had grown even wider, his mouth hanging open comically. He sputtered quite a few times before words actually formed and left his mouth.

“You want...to have sex…with _me_ ,” Gabriel said slowly, looking at Dean. “On camera.”

Dean was dying inside. His stomach muscles were sore from his workout that morning, but he still clenched them to keep himself from laughing.

“When you put it like that, it sounds pretty bad.” Dean laughed. “But, I mean, yeah.” 

Gabriel looked like he might throw up.

“Castiel?”

“I wouldn’t mind,” Castiel shrugged. “It is a bit unconventionally, but I trust you. In fact, I think I’ll only be comfortable with this, if it’s you who does it, Gabriel.”

Gabriel gaped at his little brother, only small sounds of protest coming from his mouth.

“I-I don’t...this isn’t a good- have you really thought-”

Just then, Gabriel’s phone rings and he scrambles to answer it.

“Y-yes, this is Gabe.”

There was a pause while Gabriel listened to the person on the other end of the line.

“What? I didn’t schedule-”

Gabriel waited again, then his eyes flew up to Castiel’s.

“He did? When- he _what?_ Why didn’t you tell me-”

Gabriel went silent again. After a moment, he hung up his phone.

“I see you took the liberty of booking some studio time this afternoon,” Gabriel finally said.

Castiel smiled sheepishly.

“Well, Ambriel said it would be okay, me being your brother and all. I figured if we made an effort to show you how serious we are, then you’d-”

“This is crazy,” Gabriel said with a hard laugh, “You’re literally asking me to fuck your boyfriend.”

“It’s for a good cause,” Castiel said simply. “Are you in?”

“No,” Gabriel shook his head. “Not even remotely.”

“Come on, Gabe.” Dean urged, smirking. “I thought you were Mr. Cool. It’s just sex right? Are you telling me you can’t handle this?”

“What? _No,_ ” Gabriel defended, standing abruptly. “I can handle anything you could throw at me sweet cheeks. I’m just a little- It’s just not...it’s fucking _weird._ ”

“So?” Castiel said, tilting his head slightly. “What are you afraid of, Gabriel?”

“Afraid? I’m not-” Gabriel crossed his arms across his chest. “Fine. Let’s go have some sex.” He turned to Dean and winked. “Prepare for battle sweet cheeks, studios goes live in fifteen.”

 

****

 

Castiel and Dean followed Gabriel back through the office and to the foyer, where he then led them through the second set of double doors. Shaking away his nerves and steeling himself from laughter, Dean followed as casually as he could, noting the various sets set up along the walls of the large warehouse room. There were several bedroom sets, three kitchens, four living rooms. He counted four cars, one wagon covered in hay, and a doctor’s examining room. Along the wall closest to them, were racks and racks of costumes, some of which consisted of nothing but strings. 

Dean cringed.

They had a plan. Dean wasn’t going to actually _do_ anything, nor was he planning to dress up in any of the little outfits he saw as he passed the racks. He did note seeing a clown costume though, and that imagery stuck with him all the way until Gabriel stopped walking and pointed to one of the bedroom sets. 

“You’re lucky, today’s a scrub day so we don’t film usually. This one is done,” Gabriel explained, pointing to a pink paisley decorated bedroom. “The camera guy and director should be here-”

“Before we get started,” Dean interrupted. “I want to be sure we are on the same page here. You should probably know a little about...about what I like to do.”

Gabriel narrowed his eyes at Dean, but didn’t respond. He gestured for Dean to continue.

“Well, we’re going to need at least five dildos, my safe word is purple nurple, and I can’t get off unless you’re choking me.” Dean paused, stifling a choke of laughter at Gabriel’s bugged out eyes. “I mean _really_ choking me.” Dean forced a casual glance at Castiel. “Good thing I found a doctor, huh? We’ve calculated how long my brain can go without oxygen, so he’ll tell you when to stop.”

“Did you say...five dildos?”

Dean and Castiel sighed simultaneous.

“Yes,” Castiel replied. “At first I was rather disappointed that Dean needed something so large to...you know, but I found I cared enough about him to add the toys into our lovemaking.”

The way Castiel said _lovemaking_ made Dean sputter. He covered his amused reaction with a cough.

“Yeah, that’s not going to be a problem, is it? I mean, I figure you’ve stuffed an ass or two in your time, right?”

“Five?” Gabriel said still in disbelief. “Five dildos along with my...”

“Your cock? Yes.” Dean nodded and looked around. He started toeing off his sneakers. “So, is there a script I should start reading or is this just going to be PWP?”

Gabriel’s eyes shot over to Castiel, who was managing an impressively blank face.

“This, you seriously- how many-” Gabriel couldn’t get anything coherent out. The large double doors opened again and a man and a woman entered.

“Oh, good, you’re already here,” The woman said. She was a pretty Asian girl with a businesslike quality to her. Her heels clacked against the concrete of the area between the sets. When she reached them, she held out papers for Gabriel and Dean to take. “Here are your scripts. Gabriel, your usual requests have been taken care of. Steve is going to set up some shots while you learn your lines.”

“How did you come up with a script so fast?” Gabriel asked the woman. “I just agreed to this a few minutes ago.”

“I had this one sitting around,” The woman replied easily. “Waiting for the right occasion.”

Dean looked down at the paper and read over it. The lines were exactly what he and Castiel had written together a few nights prior. There was a lot of laughter that night, followed by a lot of sex.

Gabriel looked dubious, like maybe he was finally seeing how incredible unlikely this situation was. Before he could say anything though, Dean took off his socks and his shirt.

Gabriel suddenly seemed very uncomfortable.

“Problem?” Dean asked, looking down at himself. “I mean, I know I’m not at my best but I think I’m still-”

“No, no.” Gabriel said quickly. “Not- not I didn’t- it’s fine. You’re fine.” He sighed and began reading the script. “Everything’s...what the fuck is this?”

“Our lines?” Dean replied, inching closer to Gabriel. Castiel had his hand over his mouth. Dean knew he wouldn’t last much longer. He moved into Gabriel’s space and looked down at him. “Something wrong?”

“Um,” Gabriel tried, stepping back comically. “Yeah. My first line is, _Come here big boy, I’ve got a few hoses for you._ ”

Dean nodded casually.

“Right and I follow up with, _I can’t wait for you to spray me with your hoses, Daddy._ ”

Dean turned back to the woman. 

“Should I be on my knees here? I feel like I should be on my knees.” He turned back to Gabriel. “Here, let’s mark this. If I’m going to suck you off, I feel like we should see how far I need to bend down. Put your cock in my face, Gabe.”

Gabriel sputtered incoherently.

The woman stepped forward and tilted her head in contemplation.

“I think if you sit back on your knees you’ll be more comfortable. You are definitely the more submissive character...Maybe your hands should be tied too... Gabriel, what do you think? You’re the expert.”

While Gabriel continued to freak out silently, Castiel moved closer to the camera man and asked,

“Do you happen to have the dildos ready for Dean? Can I see them? He is very particular.”

“Yeah, I need my toys to be a certain girth. None of those floppy noodles, you know what I mean? Also, how do you feel about biting?” Dean’s eyes flicked to Gabriel’s, nothing but casual interest on the firefighter’s face. “I sometimes bite uncontrollably during sex.”

Castiel laughed ruefully. “I’ve got the marks to prove it.”

Gabriel’s eyes were three times larger than they should have been and his face was two shades redder. After another moment or two of Castiel harping on the camera man to see Dean’s dildos, Gabriel finally snapped.

“ _Stop!_ ” Gabriel said, taking another step back when Dean dropped to his knees and began shuffling towards Gabriel. “I-I can’t, this isn’t- _No._ ”

“No?” Dean looked up at Gabriel, the firefighter’s hand mid-reach for the elder Novak’s fly.

“ _No._ ” Gabriel repeated frantically, backing away again. His eyes searched for his brother’s and he pleaded, “Castiel, I know you care about him, but this- this just isn’t- I can’t-”

Gabriel’s meltdown was cut off by Dean’s complete inability to keep from laughing. He doubled over so that he was on his hands and knees and let out the storm of giggles that had been threatening to erupt ever since they walked through Gabriel’s office door. He heard a snicker from behind him and looked back to find Castiel with his arms crossed and the smuggest smile Dean had ever seen on the doctor’s face. Castiel’s eyes were locked with Gabriel’s and he raised an eyebrow at his older brother.

Gabriel’s eyes flicked between everyone in the room, including the woman who was smiling ear to ear and the camera man who was laughing along with Dean. 

“Did I miss something?” Gabriel said carefully.

“Just a taste of your own medicine dear brother,” Castiel responded. He stepped over to Dean and held out a hand, helping the firefighter off the floor. “Shall we, Dean?”

Dean nodded, still laughing and collected his clothing from the floor.

“Wait...you-” Gabriel sucked in a breath then let it out with a harsh gust. After a moment, his face lit up like a Christmas tree and he was smiling brightly. “You evil geniuses!”

He rushed forward, grabbing both Castiel and Dean and wrapping them in a tight embrace.

“I’ve never been prouder!”


	35. Chapter 35

Four weeks later, Dean found himself to be the happiest he had ever been. Castiel and he were navigating the early days of their relationship remarkably well, their friends and families were thrilled for them, and they had even gone on several double dates. Things were going very well and Dean was feeling incredibly secure. Of course, that was before he was locked in an examining room at his doctor’s office, staring down one small petite she-devil with murder in her eyes.

His final check-up to get cleared for work full-time went really well. Dr. Masters didn’t hesitate to sign off on the doctor’s note Bobby had insisted on. However, it was the strained the silence afterwards, when Dr. Masters didn’t leave the room after the exam was over, that left Dean feeling incredibly unsure of himself.

“So,” Dr. Masters broke the silence after a long moment of not so polite staring. “You weaseled your way in, did you?”

Dean scrunched his nose up at her phrasing, but nodded.

“If you mean to say that Cas and I are together now, then yes. Yes we are. I have thought the kiss you witnessed in the hallway earlier would have cleared that up.”

Meg narrowed her eyes at the firefighter, letting more silence coat the room. After a second, she snickered.

“You’ve been offered a thousand dollar glass of wine, of course you’re going to take it. Who wouldn’t?” Dr Master’s stepped closer to where Dean was still sitting on the exam table. “But here’s the thing _sweetheart_ , you and I both know you can’t tell the difference between piss water Pino Grigio and Chardonney du Monde. You probably don’t even like wine.”

“Am I the piss water in this metaphor or-”

“You don’t know how lucky you are to have him.” Dr. Masters said harshly. 

Dean pulled himself off the table and stood tall.

“Actually, I do.”

Dr. Masters narrowed her eyes again, as if Dean’s statement were impossible. She kept her eyes scorching into his for ten long seconds then stepped closer, her face inches from Dean’s.  
“Hurt him and I’ll _skin_ you.” 

Dr. Masters smirked up at him when Dean shivered. She backed up and grabbed Dean’s chart from the counter. 

“Have a good day, Mr. Winchester.”

She was out the door a second later and Dean let out a loud breath of relief. He muttered to himself about Dr. Master’s threat all the way back to Castiel’s office, where he would wait for Castiel to go have lunch. Dean only had to wait a few minutes before Castiel was walking in and pulling his stethoscope off.

“All clear, I expect?” Castiel asked with a half smile. The doctor didn’t have to tell Dean how much he wished Dean wouldn’t be allowed back at work, Dean already knew.

“Yep,” Dean nodded. “I’m good to go.”

Castiel sighed and joined Dean on the couch. 

“Well, I’m happy for you. I know you’re anxious to get back to work full-time.”

“I am,” Dean agreed. “As much as I’ve enjoyed having all this time to come and have lunch with you and bring you coffee, I really need to get back in the station.”

Castiel laughed. 

“Well, maybe I’ll start bringing you coffee on my days off. Even things up a little bit.”

Dean smiled and leaned in to kiss the doctor.

“That sounds like a very good plan, Doc.”

Castiel smiled against the firefighter’s lips, reaching up to place his hand around the back of Dean’s neck. 

“I thought you might like it.”

They kissed on the couch for a few moments, not letting it go further than that. Castiel was rather adamant about not having sex in his office. He claimed it to be very unprofessional. Dean had argued that they had had sex in a supply closet, but Castiel pretended not to hear him. 

It was nice, even without the promise of their kiss moving towards anything more than the kiss itself. Just kissing Castiel was enough for Dean. Feeling his lips, his tongue, his hands on Dean’s face, Dean was overwhelmed with happiness. He could feel the stress of his exchange with Dr. Masters float away, as if it had never occurred at all. 

There was only Castiel. Castiel and his lips, his heart, his mind. Castiel and his ability to make the entire world fall away.

For Dean there was always just Castiel. 

 

****

After lunch, Dean headed to the cemetery.

He hadn’t visited his parents in awhile and he wanted to replace the flowers on their graves. When he got there, he spent half an hour telling his parents about Castiel and another ten minutes telling them how happy he was about Sam and Eileen’s news. He grew sad over the lost chance of Sunday’s at the grandparent’s house, a house full of grandchildren and laughter. Knowing that Mary and John would never know their grandchildren was something Dean hadn’t really dwelled on before, but now felt more poignant.

When he was through with his visit, Dean left the new flowers on the graves and took the dead remnants of the ones he had left before with him when he left. Before getting too far from his parents graves though, Dean felt a warm breeze come from the East and his eyes fell to the left side of the cemetery. The memory of Castiel lying in the grass a few hundred yards from where Dean stood entered Dean’s mind and his feet began moving before his head knew what he was doing.

It didn’t take long to find Inias Khasara’s tombstone. 

It was a dark grey color, instead of the lighter grey Dean was used to talking to. The police man was thirty-two when he died. The inscription read,

_One word frees us from all the pain and weight of life. That word is love._

Dean stared down at the words for a very long time, a hand full of dead weeds and a heavy heart. After the shadow Inias’ tombstone cast had moved some, Dean sat down before it. 

“Hey man,” Dean said with a sigh, he fiddled with the dead stems in his hands. “I know you don’t know me, but I... I’m starting to know you.”

Birds chirped happily nearby.

“Cas, he...he’s starting to tell me some things. Little by little, he’s talking about you.” Dean paused and looked down at his hands. “He brought me into your bedroom for the first time last week. It wasn’t as scary as I thought it would be.” 

“Cas has pretty much kept your side of the room they way it was when you were alive. Your clothes are still in the closet. Every picture of you and Cas that was in the house is in that closet too. So is your uniform and a few other things Cas kept back from your family.” Dean smiled. “I still collect baseball cards too.”

Dean paused and let out another sigh.

“I hope it’s not weird, me being here, talking to you. It’s just, you were such an important person in Cas’ life, I feel like I kind of know you. You know?”

Dean listened to the birds chirp. The breeze he felt before tickled the hair at the nape of his neck. He shivered.

“I want you to know, that I’m going to take care of him. Not that he needs someone to do that, it’s just...I want to take care of him. I love him. I love him....” Dean huffed out a breath. “God, I love Cas more than I’ve ever loved anyone. And yeah, it’s a little scary that the love of _his_ life is laying in the ground under me, but I can get over that. I don’t mind second place. I’m just happy he’s giving me a chance.”

Dean paused, looking up to the sky as if a response to his statement would be written there. When there was nothing but blinding sunshine and a nearly cloudless sky looking back at him, Dean brought his eyes back to the name inscribed in front of him.

“So I guess what I’m saying Inias, is you don’t have to worry. Cas is in good hands.”

Dean sat in front of Inias grave for another ten minutes, telling him about some of the funny things Castiel had said recently and rhetorically asked for advice about how to deal with Meg. When he was out of things to say for the day, Dean stood up and traced Inias’ name with his finger, the same way he greeted his parents every time he visited their graves. 

Then, with a final smile, Dean turned and walked away, mentally reminding himself to bring an extra bouquet of flowers the next time he came.

**Notes for the Chapter:**

> I can't believe the first story is done! That's right, the FIRST story. There will be six in total, each one from a different point in Dean and Castiel's relationship. None of them will be as long as this one, as this one is the foundation, but there will be actual story to them. 
> 
> The next title will be, Embrace the Butterflies: Relationship Advice from Dean Winchester and has begun!
> 
> Thank you again to [whyamidoingthisitswrongbutiloveit](http://archiveofourown.org/users/whyamidoingthisitswrongbutiloveit), (find her tumblr [here](http://theogenes-daughter.tumblr.com/beta) ) for being an amazing beta and for your encouragement throughout this story. I couldn't have done it without you!! 
> 
> If you're interested in an lgbtq fantasy series check out my [Website!](https://www.thisisindieg.com)


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